Single For Life And Satisfied? Not Me!

Unmarried. Singlehood.
Are you single for life and satisfied?

Jesus Christ was single for life and satisfied with it, so was Paul the Apostle. But I know that not everyone would be single for life and be fully satisfied as well. Definitely not me!

I have also heard some other people say they are single and satisfied. But in most cases, it turns out that many of such people are only temporarily single because somehow, you will get to find out that they are only waiting for the right partner to come along.

I wouldn’t know if that applies to you or not. In any case, just follow me on this short journey…

You are presently single but you have plans to get married when you meet the right person and other conditions are right. I understand that feeling because I was once there.

That one is a temporary singlehood. However, that is not the kind of singlehood I am talking about here.

I am referring to you being single, staying single for life and without any desire for entering into a committed marriage. I would call that a permanent singlehood.

That is the situation I do not understand because I have not been there before. And I do not even want to be there because I firmly believe in the institution of marriage.

This is my sixth year being married. And with all modesty, I can gladly say that I have found more fulfillment in being married than in being single.

It is not to say that I did not have a fulfilling life as a single man. No, far from it! I had an incredibly joyful life during my singlehood.

In fact, I was so happy when I was yet an unmarried man that I once had cause to ask my myself, “Would I still be this happy when I get married?”

Notice that I did not say “…if…” but “…when..” I got married. The reason is that marriage has always been part of my plans in life. That is to say that I never had an agenda of ever living an unmarried life in my sojourn on earth.

Back to the question I asked myself when I was still a bachelor: would I be happy in marriage as I was in singlehood?

It would have been largely presumptuous for me to have that question answered in the affirmative before I got married. But now that I am married, I can categorically state that I have found my life happier and more fulfilling than when I was a single man.

Just as Apostle stated that “it is better to marry than to burn,” I could stretch that to say that it better to be married than to remain single for life.

This is just my experience I am sharing with you. I am by no means trying to generalise the issue because I am very much aware that your experience may be completely different from mine. Is that not so?

On the other hand, this is not a call for everyone to get married. Even the Bible recognises that marriage is a choice; no one should be forced into it.

I was not forced into marriage in any way. It was a journey I deliberately embarked upon by my own freewill. And I am loving it!

It would have been a huge disservice to myself had I chosen to be single for life. That’s not my calling at all, but marriage is. At the appropriate time, God led me into it, by giving me the right partner.

Of course, it is not that remaining single and being an unmarried person for life is  a sin, neither is getting and staying married. But just that like every other major decision you have to make in life, there are always pros and cons to consider.

In as much I would like to recommend to you to get married (if you are not married yet) and stay married for life, it is up to you to decide for or against it. For one, I know that God’s will for most of His children is marriage. And I made my decision along that line a long time ago.

Being single has its own benefits and getting married has its own benefits too. But I prefer the later.

Now that I am married and have found fulfillment in marriage, it has become clearer to me that I could never have been single for life and be satisfied with it completely.

But like I said before, I am not suggesting that you could not choose to remain single or celibate for life and be satisfied at the same time. Good luck to you if that’s what you want.

As for me, I see marriage as a calling I had to embrace because I could never have been totally satisfied with a lifelong celibacy.

What’s your take on this? 

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

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25 thoughts on “Single For Life And Satisfied? Not Me!

  1. Potential Doctor March 17, 2017 / 8:07 pm

    Beautiful post! I can totally relate to this and after almost 10 years of marriage, I have found that it was the best option for me! My husband has helped me to grow and we have shared so much of life together (both the difficult and the good times). I consider him my best friend! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • VictorsCorner March 17, 2017 / 8:15 pm

      You are welcome Malaikà. Thanks for sharing your own experience too. And happy 10th wedding anniversary in advance.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Brandon Adams March 17, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    Hard to say. God does not call all of us to the thing we want. I know people who wanted to be single permanently and instead ended up married; I know people who wanted very badly to find someone, but are now in their forties and have accepted God’s “no”. What we FEEL called to, does not always match up with what God wants.

    It’s not about what we want. It’s about Him, and becoming satisfied in Him. I’m not satisfied with singleness, but I can say my heart is no longer dragged downward because of it. I am light and happy because of God’s presence in my life, even as I want something very different. This contentment is a treasure and great gain, and it happened ONLY because I wanted marriage and God said no. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise. Now I am able to face either choice because of what I’ve gained.

    I’d be ecstatic if God “pulled the trigger” tomorrow on getting me married, and he is a kind and gracious God. We’ll see. But ultimately, it’s about surrendering to him.

    Liked by 3 people

    • VictorsCorner March 18, 2017 / 8:26 am

      Wow wow. That’s a great contribution Brandon. Everyone to his calling… Yea. You are right.
      Yours does not sound like a permanent singlehood yet. My understanding is that God has called all of us to marriage except one has received a specific calling to the contrary.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. dettinger47 March 17, 2017 / 11:48 pm

    My take on this post, Victor, is that you went astray on this one. If you’re married and truly satisfied, stick to that. However, you have ventured into the area of singleness and expressed thoughts that came across as lacking in insight. I have been divorced for 31 years, have never desired to remarry, am perfectly content, and have no intention of remarrying at this stage of my life. Fatherhood and grandfatherhood are sufficient. It’s always best to write about the things you know most about and leave those things you are deficient in alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • VictorsCorner March 18, 2017 / 11:27 am

      Going through your comment sir, I could see that I was clearly misunderstood. By your response the discourse was taken to an unintended direction. In any case, I take it that you didn’t mean any offense, so none taken.

      The post was just a humble attempt to say that I prefer my “married me” to my “single me.” That’s my own experience. Yours may have been different. That much was also acknowledged in the post.

      I do not agree with you that the post went out of line. I will just plead that you put things in a better perspective. If still in doubt you may see comments by other readers to see how many of them disagreed with the views in the post.

      Your comment gave me the impression that you may have special insight on living single for life. Will I be asking for too much if I invite you to share it with us?

      I have an upcoming post highlighting reasons why I said I could never have chosen to be unmarried for life. Hopefully, that should put things in a better perspective for you and all my readers.

      As usual, thank you for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Freedomborn ... Aussie Christian Focus March 18, 2017 / 12:46 am

    Thank you Victor, your Message has much Truth and so did what Brandon shared. How wonderful that you are at Peace in being Married, God said it is not good for Man to be alone but as you also shared, He has given the gift of Celibacy to both Men and yes Woman too when they choose to devote their Lives to Him but this must not be forced by those in Worldly Authority, God warns about this as well as food restrictions such as Meat etc…..

    1 Timothy 4:3 Forbidding to Marry and commanding to abstain from meats which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the Truth, for every creature of God is good and nothing to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving.

    Being Signal without God’s gift of Celibacy or anointing is not to be committed to lightly as it will present problems for both Men and Woman. It is also not good for Woman to be alone, we were created to be Helpmeets to Men and in this we will find completeness, unless as I shared before we choose to serve God and be under His Authority and not Marry where we will be under our Husbands Authority too.

    Many years after my first Husband left me to Marry a woman who could give him a healthy Baby, I have 7 Children in Heaven, I Married Ron but did not know as a new Christian what God tells us about Divorce and Remarriage, but He does tell us we are to stay where He finds us and that Divorce including on going Separation shows a hard heart, an unwillingness to forgive although it does depend on who walked out and why but it only takes one to disobey God and end a Marriage instead of seeking to resolve problems with Trusting in Him to help us do so, God is not a God of division but a God of Unity in Christ Jesus, if we claim to Love Him than we will want to obey Him.

    Christian Love Always – Anne.

    Liked by 2 people

    • VictorsCorner March 18, 2017 / 10:19 am

      Thank you Anne for lending your voice to this one. The scriptures you quoted are very appropriate and I think they validated the points raised in the post. I appreciate this contribution.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. fearlessinjesuschrist March 18, 2017 / 1:03 am

    I have been single for 13 years. I do not like being single. I have a deep desire to love someone and have someone love me. Right now, that’s not where I am. So I focus on God and his will for my life.

    Liked by 4 people

    • VictorsCorner March 18, 2017 / 10:26 am

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you have chosen to focus on God and His will for your life. That is a good to do.
      The fact that you do not like being single suggests to me that you are very much open to marriage. I would say you should keep trusting God to send you the right person. I do know that God grants us the desires of our heart. We can’t ask for bread and He gives us stone…
      Thanks alot for sharing.

      Liked by 3 people

  6. aftab March 18, 2017 / 1:48 pm

    Thanks for sharing such a great knowledge.
    I’m quite sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here!
    Thanks for sharing it.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Nehemiah Project March 20, 2017 / 12:08 am

    I would never tell someone who remains single (I have two long time friends who remained single) that they are “missing” anything. However, I am approaching 31 years of marriage and I do quite like it…a lot.

    Liked by 2 people

    • VictorsCorner March 20, 2017 / 5:16 am

      Congratulations on your long standing happy marriage. We are still new in the game, with the trust that God will continue to sustain us.
      I respect your decision about your friends, especially if they feel called to remain celibate for life. But if they are not, what’s wrong in being married?
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Tikeetha T March 22, 2017 / 5:51 pm

    Great post. I heard a woman preach about how she married at 60 and her husband died 3 years later. She said that she cursed God for sending someone to her so late in life. She said that God laughed at her and told her that I sent him years before, but you ignored him and you weren’t ready. She said she thought about it and she realized that she had done that. I think that if you think of it as a calling and are truly listening to God you will find the one that God has for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • VictorsCorner March 22, 2017 / 6:00 pm

      Thank you Tikeetha. I am glad there is convergence in our views.
      There is something to learn from the woman’s story you shared: Listen to God and take the opportunity He offers. That’s a great advice for someone out there.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. rolerrol March 22, 2017 / 8:51 pm

    Great post Victor.
    The most important point I took away from your post is that you had a desire for marriage. So even though singleness was appealing you sort God for marriage.
    I am trusting God for marriage and know He will come through….

    Rolain

    Liked by 2 people

    • VictorsCorner March 22, 2017 / 9:10 pm

      Thank you Rolain. Yes I desired marriage and I went for it. And God made it possible for me.
      Sure, God will come through for you. He grants our hearts desire you know! He will guide you.

      Liked by 2 people

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