Remembering The Purpose Of Christmas

Every year at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Some people say we are not sure of His date of birth. “Definitely not 25 December” they say.

It is true we can’t be sure about the date. But there is something we can be sure about: A Saviour was born at a point in time in history.

This is no fiction. No fabrication. No figment of man’s imagination as some people suggest. It was a recorded historical event orchestrated by the finger of God.

Jesus was born. And He was born with a purpose. His purpose was announced before He was born. An angel of God had announced to Joseph,

And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

That is it! The purpose of Christ’s birth was to save us from our sins. That’s the reason we celebrate His Birth. That is the reason for Christmas!

That tells me that if your sins have not been forgiven – or better still, if you have not received the forgiveness of your sins – by giving your life to Jesus Christ, the purpose of Christmas has not been fulfilled in your life.

As the saying goes, “If the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable.” That seems to be the case with Christmas; many people are celebrating without knowing the essence of it. As a result, they end up abusing it.

I used to like that. For many years, I looked forward to Christmas for some other reasons other the birth of a Saviour. But once I got born again, I began to understand the real essence of Christmas. Christmas picture

The real essence of Christmas is not the beautiful carol we hear or sing, not the ambience, the special shoppings, the fanfare, the feasting, and all other kinds of activities we enjoy during the season. The real essence of Christmas is found in the original purpose: Jesus was born to save the world.

Christmas is a celebration of love. The love of God to the world in sending a Saviour to die for us. That popular Bible verse says,

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

So as you celebrate, do not forget the real purpose of Christmas.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

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Now that the Year is Ending…Be Thankful

Be grateful

Now that the year is ending…You might have had many unfulfilled goals. But you have to be grateful for the ones you were able to achieve.

You might have had many unanswered prayers. But the thankful for the ones that were answered.

Even if you still have many questions on your mind, do not give in to despair. Keep searching, answers will come.

At least you are alive. That means your hope is not dead yet. Think about that, and you will have a good reason to be thankful.

You may not be where you wish to be yet, but remember that you are no longer where you used to be.

As you take stock for the passing year, do yourself a favour: Find a reason to be thankful.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

When You Find Yourself Answering Questions on an Atheist’s Blog

Victor Uyanwanne

Recently, I commented on a post appearing on the blog The Closet Atheist. Following that comment, I found myself also responding to other comments clearly directed at me by some readers of that blog whom I perceived to be atheists.

Amongst other issues raised, the author while relating his experience in a so-called secular university in defence of the purported claims of an unnamed professor from an unidentified Christian college, ostensibly suggested that Christians think that atheists must be savages – brutal and vicious, lacking in morality – because they have rejected the notion of God…

My initial response to that post and part of the conversations that later ensued between other readers and I form the bulk of the texts presented in this post:

My initial response…

The point of being a Christian is not on the basis of simple morality… It is about having a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. One is not a Christian if that understanding is not there, including the so-called Christians cited in your statistics.

Even if someone rejects the notion that God exists, that doesn’t automatically make such one a ruthless savage, contrary to the picture painted in the post. That much is clear to me and to most other true believers in God.

Besides, there are already enough laws in the civilised world to hold people accountable for their behaviours.

What should bother one is the eternal consequence of a disposition that rejects God. And it would be laughable to suggest that the Creator will have no way of holding His creatures accountable.

Let me add that the whole notion of God is grossly misunderstood and misrepresented: Misunderstood by those who don’t believe in His existence and sometimes misrepresented by those who do.

God loves everybody

For the records, God loves everyone -whether they believe in Him or not. And contrary to the picture you painted, He loves gay people too – although the gay lifestyle is what He doesn’t approve of – according to Biblical guidelines which clearly show that heterogeneous relationship is God’s perfect plan for mankind.

God gave us a special gift called freewill. Unfortunately some of us are using it against Him. But we can never outsmart Him. In any case, we make our choices and our choices make us.

The aftermath…

God’s love and hellfire?

One of the readers took the reference to God’s love out of context by bringing in the issue of hellfire, saying:

“So, he (God) loves us so much he invented Hell to reinforce that fact? Sheol wasn’t good enough, so he had to up the ante? Misunderstanding is not the sole province of unbelievers. Believers seem to believe what they want to believe and disregard the rest.”

Well, I was obliged to respond to that as well:

God loves us so much He has made a way for us to have an eternal relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ. Hell wasn’t originally meant for human beings. It was meant for the devil and his demons. Unfortunately, anyone who rejects God has sided with the devil. As a result, such people will end up where the devil himself will end up.

Believers in God don’t believe what they want to believe as you suggested. What they believe about God is what God’s book, the Bible, says about Him. It is another thing if one doesn’t accept the authority of the Bible.

Talking about Freewill

The reference to freewill in my initial comment appeared to have been misunderstood by some of the readers of that blog who commented.

One of them questioned, “…People rape, murder, abuse, rob and torture because YHWH has given them free will? So, his sovereignty allows their heinous crimes to happen?…”

“…Yes God is responsible for giving humans the freewill,” I replied, “but He is not responsible for what we do with it…

We would be mere robots if God took away our freewill. That’s why it is important He left it with us. He gave us the CHOICE…”

Along the same line, another reader scoffed the idea that we have freewill saying, “Some guy is raping a woman and he says, “But officer, free will!”. Would that fly in court? lol.”

To that I responded:

That was never implied in my comment. But I did say that everyone would be held accountable for whatever he or she did with their freewill.

Of course, freewill as an excuse to commit rape (or any other  crime at that) will not fly in court. The rapist will be judged according to the law.

In the same way, God will eventually judge everyone who rejects Him based on their freewill.

The moral compass inside every man

Speaking further, another reader opined, “The moral argument for God’s existence just shows an ignorance of the field of ethics in general. There are many accounts of morality without God, but apologists won’t even address them. Most of the time they pretend that they don’t exist.”

To that claim, I simply pointed out that:

God is the original Source of morality. Inside every man is a moral compass called the conscience. And whether we agree or not, it was God who put it there.

Feel free to lend your voice to the discourse.

Echoes From My Heart 3

Inspiration

1. There is a message in the mess you might have found yourself in. Do not miss it.

2. Visit the past to learn from it. But do not settle there.

3. You need to throw up some expectations in order to catch some manifestations. You know what they, “expectation precedes manifestation.”

4. It is no use trying to please everybody. You will never be perfect at doing it.

5. Whatever you do, always try to focus well. By so doing, you will not even notice some distractions.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Remembering my Childhood Memories of the Essence of Christmas

Going back to my roots!

I have lived most of my life here in Lagos, Nigeria. But I was born in Owerre Olubor, a peaceful town in the present day Ika N. E. Local Government of Delta State.

There were many wonderful memories I had growing up in that predominantly agrarian village where a sizeable portion of the population, with a few exceptions,  professed to be Christians.

One of such memories is that of various celebrations which took place in the community on an annual basis. Apart from the universal Easter, Christmas and New Year celebrations, there were other big festivals that were equally engaged in.

The New Yam Festival, Iwaji, is celebrated in the third quarter of the year to mark the beginning of farm harvests and then followed closely with a festival of dance and music, known as Ogbanigbe. Both festivals which attracted visitors from far and near, were ‘traditional’ in nature and were celebrated by almost everyone in that serene community.

Ogbanigbe Festival
Crowd celebrating the Ogbanigbe Festival in 2010. Photo credits – CF Monye

However, many ‘serious’ Christians in the land, especially those from amongst the Pentecostal circle, did not join in the Ogbanigbe celebration for fear of being ‘contaminated’. Their sentiment for not participating in the festivals was that such ceremonies were rooted in idolatory and ancestral worship, giving glory to demons and not to the true God.

And they were right – because of some reasons outside the scope of this post.

In those early days, my siblings and I saw ourselves as Christians, having been following our mum to church. But our personal convinctions were not very deep. So we were passive participants in the festivals until we  became fully detached from their celebrations.

Personally, I can still recall previously having some pleasures in the festivals during my pre-teen years, especially as far as the family feasting aspect of the celebrations was concerned. This was due mainly to the influence of my father in the home, making provisions for special meals to be prepared during those festivals.

Unlike my mother, my father – although a very morally upright man – wasn’t a christian and so he had a longstanding belief in those festivals. But he never forced any member of the family to participate in them.

By virtue of his status as as an ‘elder’ in the village at the time, he was given special recognition which required that the festival’s dance-parties visited our house to pay the traditional ceremonial homage to him during their main street ogbanigbe carnivals.

The beginning of Change

As time went on, I gave up whatever pleasures I might have had in those festivals. This happened after I became born again in my early teens and began to be taught the living word of God which empowered me spiritually and also enabled me to make decisions that were in line with my new found love and passion for the only true God, the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ.

While it is true that becoming born again helped in realigning my values and focus with respect to the annual festivities of those years, it was not an over-night change. I gradually refrained from having anything whatsoever to do with the ceremonies. The rest is history!

Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. 2 Corrinthians 6:17.

Cerebration by all

Christmas, though popularly known as a Christian festival, was celebrated by everyone around me, irrespective of religious background. But in those days the real essence of it was lost to me and, I believe, to majority of the celebrants as well.

Growing up then, it didn’t matter if one was a Christian or not, Christmas was a feast for all to celebrate; everyone one around, whether they went to church or not, or were involved in the so-called traditional worship, all of us participated in Christmas celebrations.

The only exception I can remember was a girl two years my senior in secondary school, a member of the Jehovah Witnesses. Including Christmas, she never joined in the celebration of ‘anything’ at all. She even refused to join in reciting the national anthem and other songs we sang on the assembly ground every morning.


Before the essense of Christmas hit me

Christmas is the commemoration of the birth of Jesus. But while we all celebrated it, most often than not, not all of us remembered or even cared about the real purpose of it.

We all focused on the fanfare rather than on why Jesus was born in the first place. Sadly that mistake is still observable in many places around the world today.

In my pre-teen years, Christmas time for me meant that we were approaching the time for the longest school holiday in the academic year. That meant I would have more time to play street football with my friends from school and around the neighbourhoods.

Christmas also meant that I  was going to get a new set of clothes, a new pair of shoes, a wrist watch and a pair of sunglasses to match. It was particularly fun wearing those pair of eye-classes; once you had them on, the grounds appeared to be shifting and un-levelled. Still we managed to move around in them and then returned home to mama, safely.

At Christmas, relations who lived in cities would return home for family reunions, a once in a year ritual. We also visited relations and family friends around town, especially on the boxing day. We would be lavishly served with rice and chicken and in some cases soft drinks.

And once we stood up to go back home, we would be given some money which the giver would often say, “This is for all of you.” That announcement was necessary to avoid a situation were the direct recipient would think the money was meant for only him or her.

Reports were rampant then of children or teenagers fighting over such money… But fortunately for me, my ‘visitation’ groups were always cooperative, so at the end of day, we always amicably shared all the accumulated moneys from such visits.

You can say Christmas was another way of getting money from people you knew, as it appeared everyone was more generous during that time.

Rice and stew very plenty

Back at home from Christmas day service in church, there would be plenty of food to eat. Some people would prefer specially made local delicacies on this day. But the children (including yours truly) would relish the specially made Christmas rice and stew.

Rice and stew
Photo Credits: Seekers Match

Our parents made sure they ‘killed’ chicken to serve it along. If anybody’s mum failed to prepare rice and chicken in special stew, especially on the boxing day, he or she would have the feeling that the Christmas for that year was not fantastic.

So basically, our Christmas then like in many other places was full of eating and drinking (mostly soft drinks, no alcohol) visiting families in new outfits and other forms of celebrations. Not many people remembered or even knew the real essence of Christmas.

Understanding the real essense of Christmas

After I got born again, I began to understand the true meaning of Christmas. A Saviour was born to save the world. The slogan Christ is the reason for the season became a living reality.

I still wore new clothes at Christmas. I still ate specially prepared meals. But those were no longer my main focus: Christ was and still is.

We became challenged to share the love of God in more active ways – reaching out to people with the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, we went out for evangelism, sharing the love of Christ in any way we deemed fit. What better way to celebrate Christmas than to tell people the Saviour was born to save them from their sins?

As we celebrate ‘Christmas’, let us remember the ‘Christ’ in it!

What’s your own childhood Christmas story?

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Faded Dreams

To have and to hold unto you
Till our dreams come through.

To cling to you, inseparably tight
Whether it be morn, noon or night.

To be truly there for each other
Waxing strong together, forever.

Those were the ample dreams
That flooded my heart like streams.

But like life’s disappearing steams
They were all but faded dreams.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Atheists Know There is a God, But…

Atheists know there is a God even though they wouldn’t admit it. And it seems to me that the more their hearts condemn them, the harder they try to put up the front that denies the existence of God.

If atheists truly believe that God does not exist, why does it bother them so much when we say He does? I believe their conscience is working them up!

There is no excuse good enough to justify a disbelief in the existence of God.

The Scriptures tell us that the things in us and outside us bear evidence that God exists. So one must have suppressed this knowledge of God over time to reach the point where one can willfully and deliberately assert that there is no God.

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, [even] his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified [him] not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. Romans 1:20-22.

Professing to be wise, they became foolish

That statement aptly describes the situation of atheists. Their so-called wisdom in denying the existence of God is at the same time their foolishness.

Just like every human being born into this world, they were not born without an inkling of the knowledge of God. Rather, out of their own sheer volition, they gradually stifled the voices in their hearts which tell them that there is a God.

And in “professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.” I could say I have observed that firsthand more than a few times…

In the last one and half years, I have written some posts specifically targeting atheists or those who say there is no God. Following those posts, I have also been involved with series of online conversations with some atheists, both on this blog and across my Twitter handle.

Atheists

During our discussions, I could see that many of them tend to assume an air of superiority in knowledge. They seem to want to show that they have read so many books, and have known much about the universe, life and existence to know that God does not exist. And nothing could be farther from the truth!

We know who the foolish one is

Granted, some of the atheists I have encountered are quite knowledgeable! To that extent, they appear to think that we believers must be foolish to believe that God exists. But any form of knowledge that denies the existence of God is not a correct knowledge.

Atheists may be wise in their own eyes, calling us, believers, uninformed. But between they and us, the Bible is very clear about who the foolish one is:

The fool says in his heart that there is no God… Psalm 14:1

Those words were spoken over two thousand years ago and they still hold as true today as they have always done. According to the Bible, it is the person that says God doesn’t exist that qualifies to be called a fool, not the one that believes in His existence.

Another thing I observed from my conversations with atheists is that they are not absolutely sure that God doesn’t exist as they would want to claim. In their unguarded moments they do make claims or raise objections that presuppose that there must be a God. Yet they are reluctant to admit it.

In other words, I could surmise that many atheists are living in self-denial when they say that God doesn’t exist, because deep in their hearts they know that they are wrong.

A wicked, loveless non-existent God, Really?

On one occasion, a self-professed atheist got carried away during our conversations and he kept saying, God is wicked, God doesn’t love humans, God enjoys to see people suffer, etc. Really?

I couldn’t hold back asking him, “How can the God you say doesn’t exist be wicked and loveless? How can He even enjoy the suffering in the world except He exists in the first place?”

You see, that atheist knows there is God. May be what he doesn’t understand is the nature or character of God.

It is one thing to doubt the goodness; of God and another to claim His non-existence. I think that so-called atheist got it completely mixed up…

No matter how hard they try, atheists would never be able to prove that there is no God. (We know He does exist!). The more they try to do so, the more of their folly they put on display.

All atheist know there is God

God exists, and anyone who seeks Him with all his or her heart will find Him.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart Jeremiah 29:13.

When a Princeton educated atheist cried out to God

It is a hard truth, but it still has to be said again: Deep in their hearts, atheists know there is a God, but they just don’t want to admit it.

In his book, The War Is Over,  Andrew Wommack expressed it better when he wrote that:

(Atheists) know that there is a God. It is just a lie (when they say there is no God). You don’t have to try and convince people of their need for God. Everybody in their heart already knows it. Every body!

For emphasis sake, let’s echoe it again: everybody, including atheists, already know in their hearts that there is a God… They may deny it or suppress the knowledge, but they still know!

To further illustrate his point, Wommack tells of an experience with an educated atheist who cried out to God to save him when he faced enemy-attacks during the Vietnamese-American war:

While I was an American soldier in Vietnam, many told me they were atheists. I remember one guy, a Princeton educated atheist, made me look like an absolute fool because he was a better talker than I was. But when the bombs started dropping and the bullets began to fly, this guy cried out to the God he said he didn’t believe in… saying “Oh God save me!” It’s all just a mind game let them get into a life-and-death situation and they will say, Oh God help me!”

The question is, if the atheist Andrew refered to truly believed there was no God, why did he cry out to Him for help when his life was in danger?

Your comments are welcome.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

 

Raising Questions on Apostle Paul’s Calling to the Gentiles

Not too long ago, I published a post that explored reasons proving that Apostle Paul was not an eloquent speaker. That piece was however, concluded on the following note:

…Paul’s speeches were not at the highest levels as he wasn’t outstandingly eloquent as some other speakers in his time might have been. But in no way did the gospel suffer as a result of this perceived lack of oratorial skills. Rather it made it more obvious that the power of Christ was at work in Him

While commenting on the post, one of my readers took the post further by overtly questioning Apostle Paul’s frequent claim of being called to reach the Gentiles. His argument was that even before Paul came on the block, other Apostles such as Peter have had ministry to people other than the Jews.

At the meeting, after a long discussion, Peter stood and addressed them as follows: “Brothers, you all know that God chose me from among you some time ago to preach to the Gentiles so that they could hear the Good News and believe. Acts 15:7, NLT

While that position is correct, as the scripture above shows, it is not enough to discredit Apostle Paul’s claim of being specially called to be a minister to the Gentiles; the argument became overextended when the reader tried to deny that Paul was the Apostle to the gentiles. Apostle Paul, a polished speaker or not - by Victor Uyanwanne

In this post, I present to you that reader’s comment and my response to it then.

The Comment

..I doubt his [Paul’s] claims towards call for the gentiles as other Apostles too spent their life time spreading the gospels to gentiles all the way to India, much farther than Greece or Syria reached by Paul. Paul’s claim of him being a minister for the gentiles and Peter for Jews again is a complete mess as Paul goes out of context.

Jesus had said to Peter and other 10 apostles to go and preach to whole creations, nations… Peter has preached to the gentile Cornelius and baptised him with the Holy Spirit even before Paul ever preached gospel to gentiles…and Yes Peter and other apostles had a possible church for gentile in Antioch even before Paul was somehow converted. I feel sorry for Paul’s misunderstanding and his claims…

My response

Hello, your comment on the post is appreciated…

…That Paul was an Apostle to gentiles is a very known fact. So you would not have sufficient basis to disprove that!

Even from the beginning of his calling, the Lord himself defined who Paul (previously known as Saul) was being called to reach. Perhaps you will need to read Acts 4:9 again, which clearly says:

But the Lord said, “Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.

No one can doubt that Paul was sent to the gentiles after reading that passage, except of course the person doesn’t esteem the words of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.

Time will fail me to begin to comment on each of the other issues you brought in. Suffice to say that Paul was a great Apostle any how you look at it. Thank you.

You can join in the conversation.

Still ahead: Reasons That Confirms Apostle Paul Was Called to Reach The Gentiles.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Echoes From My Heart 2

1. If what you hold so dear to your heart is taken away from you, will your centre still hold?

2. If you have not made peace with your Creator, nothing on earth will truly satisfy you.

3. You may not know what is in someone’s heart until you hear him or her speak.

4. Good counsel can sometimes come from unexpected sources.

Getting your hope back

5. Understand that sometimes, your friends may not give you the best advice.

6. My life is not floating. It is anchored on God.

7. Without God, life doesn’t make a complete sense.

8. The prosperity in the church of God is a welcome development. The devil and his cohorts can continue to be pained.

9. If you have lost hope in life, please get it back.

10. God is bigger than all your problems. Focus on Him and not on your problems.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

 

Being A Cultural Christian Is Not Enough

I’m A Christian Atheist.” How Possible?

Recently, I heard something on an international news channel that I consider worth talking about here. An aged author and ostensibly an intellectual man who was being interviewed about a book he wrote (amongst other things) was asked:

“You are an atheist and a Christian. How is that possible?”

“I’m a cultural Christian: I’m a Christian by my culture, but not one by my belief,” he replied.

Really? An atheist and Christian in the same breadth?

Can someone be a Christian who does not believe in God?

The answer is obvious!

Unfortunately, this man in question is not the only one making this type of “cultural” mistake. There are people around the world who think that they are Christians simply because of the home or geographical location they were born into.

Those things as factors may exert some influences on who you become but they are not what will make you a Christian. And of course, being a Christian goes beyond being born into, or living in, any of the so-called christian nations.

I would like to further explore this topic in subsequent posts, but here it suffices to say that being a Christian is not about the culture you were born into or the one you live in. It is about you having a personal relationship with God through faith in His son Jesus Christ.

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. John 1:12

Unlike the man mentioned above, it is not enough to to see yourself as a cultural Christian; you should be a Christian by heart as well.

In the first place, being a Christian presupposes that you believe in God. And in fact, a Christian does not only believe in God, he or she also believes in God’s Son, Jesus Christ.

It is therefore a mistaken identity to be called a Christian if you don’t believe in God and in His Son Jesus Christ.

What do you think?

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

12 Promises For Your Health

There is hope for your health.

Healing is for you as the Lord has promised. God is not only interested in your spiritual well-being, He also cares about your body being in sound health.

Beloved, I pray that in every way you may succeed and prosper and be in good health [physically], just as [I know] your soul prospers [spiritually]. 3 John 2.

This is a post highlighting some of God’s assurances of physical health for you as a follower of His. Through the written word of God, you have been given concrete proofs that good health, either in form of divine health or healing are God’s will for us.

Through His word, the healing power is delivered to you. “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave” Psalm 107:20.

Promises for your healing

I present to you the following 12 scriptures on healing to encourage and inspire faith in you:

1. He sent out His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Psalm 107:20

2. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 John 1:2

3. The LORD will sustain him upon his sickbed; In his illness, You restore him to health. Psalm 41:3

4. The Lord will keep you free from every disease. He will not inflict on you the horrible diseases you knew in Egypt.  Deuteronomy 7:15

5. But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

6. For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17

7. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. Luke 5:17

8. “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. Mark 10:52

9. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. James 5:14-15.

10. “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you. Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. Mark 10:52

11. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Rom. 8:11

12. When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick. That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses. Matt. 8:16-17.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

So You Love Your Spouse?

If any one should ask if you love your spouse or not, I’m very sure your answer would be “yes.” Well, I would agree with you because I’m not in a good position to question that assertion.

However, saying that you love your spouse is much deeper that just saying so with your mouth. You should know that if you truly love your spouse, it will definitely show in what you do or don’t do towards him or her.

In this post, we will attempt to (re)examine whether or not you love your spouse in meaningful ways as much as you would claim. Our purpose is not to criticise you but rather to help you take an objective assessment of your position right now with a view to helping you love your spouse more in ways that truly matter – and most importantly, in ways that meet heavenly requirements.

The 5 love languages
Dr Gary Chapman (Source: Wikipedia)

Before we delve into unfolding the Biblical foundation for this post, I will like to refresh your memory a little with something I read in a book at the peak of my undergraduate days, several years ago; it is about the love languages.

Chapman’s 5 Love Languages

In the book, The 5 Languages of Love, Dr Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor with reported experience spanning over three decades, believes that “unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root-cause: we speak different love languages” from our spouse’s.

In other words, it is not enough to say that you are doing your best at loving your spouse. You must actively show that you love him or her in a way that he or she understands or appreciates. That is, in a way that is most meaningful to him or her.

One pertinent question therefore is, are you speaking your spouse’s primary love language? It is important you begin to do so if you have not started.

As identified by Dr Chapman, there are five love languages you should know:

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Acts of Service, and
5) Physical Touch.

The idea behind the 5 love languages is that spouses appreciate or understand love in one or a combination of two of the 5 areas as stated on the list.

It is therefore your responsibility to find out which one of these languages your spouse understands more so you can relate more with him or her on that plane. If you don’t do that, your spouse may not understand the love you are communicating to him or her, no matter how hard you think you may be trying.

Love shows in attitude

Love is the operating word here. And again, I want to assume you love your spouse. Don’t you? If yes, then we can go on…

Having said that, let us push the bar a bit higher.

How can you ‘prove’ that you love your spouse?

When we talk about love, many people understand it in many different ways. But in the context of this post, the beautiful picture of love as painted in the book of First Corinthians shall be our standard measure.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

1 Corrinthians 13:4-8

From this passage, you can see that there are things love can do and there are ones it cannot do. Therefore, if you love your spouse, there are things you should do and there are things you should not do towards him or her.

It is these things you do or fail to do towards your spouse that prove whether or not you love your spouse. As earlier said, if you love your spouse, it will show in your attitude towards him or her.

Husband and wife
Picture source: The bridal box

The Bible passage quoted above is hugely about the operations of love in general, but we can be a bit more specific by applying it to spousal love. Let us therefore consider the specific components of the love-list and extend it to how you love your spouse:

Love is patient and kind. If you love your spouse, you should be patient with, and kind towards him or her.

Love does not envy or boast. If you love your spouse, you should not be discontented towards him or her, neither will you “talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about your achievements, possessions, or abilities.”

Love is not arrogant or rude. If you love your spouse, you should relate with him or her in humility and never take pleasure in being rude to him or her, either in your words or in your actions.

Love does not insist on its’ own way. If you love your spouse, it’s not every time you would insist on having your way with him or her. You should sometimes also allow them to have their ways too.

Love is not irritable or resentful. So you love your spouse? Then do not be easily annoyed with him or her; neither should you ever become bitter towards him or her – irrespective of how you are treated.

Love does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth. There may be some spouses that lie to their partners and take pleasure in cheating on them. But that should not be you, because you love your spouse.

Love bears all things, hopes all things, bears all and endures all things. If you love your spouse, then bear with his or her inadequacies, endure difficult times with each other, hope and believe for the best between you both.

Love never ends. So you love your spouse? Don’t give up on him or her!

Feel free to like, share or leave a comment on this article.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

5  Questions To Resolve To Improve On Your Personal Blogging Experience

How would you describe your personal blogging experience? Has it been somewhat frustrating or you are enjoying the ride all the way?

How about doing some little things that will improve the blogging experience for both you and your readers? In this post, I will like to explore 5 questions you should resolve if you want a better personal blogging experience.

1. Is your blog mobile device friendly?

I’m writing this post with my smartphone. And chances are that you might be reading it on a portable device as well.

That confirms the report that a rising percentage of internet users access blogs via their mobile devices as against the traditional desktop computers. The implication of that is that the readers of your blog will have a frustrating experience navigating your blog if it is not well optimised for mobile devices, such as phones and tablets.

One way to optimise your WordPress blog for mobile devices is to use a theme that is mobile device friendly. Another is to use a suitable plugin that serves that purpose. Any of the two options is capable of improving the site loading time and navigation.

2. Are you reaching out to other bloggers?

Blogging is not a solo business, neither is it a one-way express. Just like you, many other people are involved in it. You shouldn’t stay in one corner of WordPress unnoticed when there are millions of bloggers out there you could reach out to and interact with on a regular basis.

Except your blog is a private one, you will have to reach out to other bloggers if you want other bloggers to reach out to you.

You can reach out to other people’s blog by following the ones you like, reading and commenting on their posts, hitting the like buttons, sharing and reblogging their posts and even sending them direct emails. There is a  great chance that when you reach out to these people, they too will also reach out to you, and the cycle will continue.

5 Tips to improve your personal blogging experience

3. Do you follow your own blog?

People follow your blog through their WordPress accounts or through email subscriptions. That way, anytime you hit the publish button, they get notified in their email boxes or through their WordPress Readers, giving them easier access to exploring your new posts.

How does your post notification look like in an email message? You can find out about it by simply subscribing to your own blog with your email address.

This way, you will receive notifications for all your posts, just like any of your followers. It is a simple step but one capable of improving your personal blogging experience.

4. Do you promote your posts on social media?

Do you want many people to read your posts? If your answer is yes, then you will have to do some forms of promotions so that as many people as possible can find your posts to read them.

I am not talking about very aggressive marketing campaign here. You can go for that if that appeals to you. But as a personal blogger, I am actually talking about using your personal social media such as your Facebook or Twitter handles to promote the posts you publish on your blog. This costs you nothing more than a little of your time and effort.

If your blog is indexed as ‘public’ and is search-engine optimised well enough, people can find the blog through Google searches without much inducement from you. But beyond that mechanism, there has to be some deliberate efforts on your part towards getting people to read your blog.

For instance, my blog analytics show that I receive the largest traffic to my site through Google referrals, which is good for me. But I do also receive traffic via my social media handles, especially through Facebook.

As you are on WordPress, you may as well be active on social media. (Facebook and Twitter are my favourites. You can stay with the one that works best for you). This will give you more channels to promote your blog – at no direct financial cost.

You can link your posts through the sharing apparatus on your blog settings such that each time you publish a post on WordPress, it will automatically appear on your social media handles. This will make it easy for all your readers to see, click on and be directed to your blog to read the full article.

5. Do you use good pictures in your posts?

Your post should not be a block of texts that only a serious researcher can commit to read through. Make the reading experience feel better for your followers by adding appropriate pictures in appropriate places in the posts.

I have learnt to use at least one picture (the feature image) in every of my posts. And as the text counts increase, I increase the picture counts as well – one picture per every 400-500 words on a page.

Besides improving the general appearance of the post, embedding pictures in a post also helps search engines to discover your blog. But you will have to ensure that the pictures are properly labelled as you saved them in your gallery before inserting them in your posts.

What did you do to improve your personal blogging experience? Feel free to leave a comment.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

No More Stalling The Calling

Now have I reached the fervid juncture
Where I have seen the bigger picture.
So I am going to have to say goodbye
To things that wouldn’t let me go by.

Before you begin to ask me how
At His throne my knees I bow.
And I know you want to ask me why
But no questions; he is the Most-high.

From Him have I received a greater calling
There isn’t going to be any more stalling.
The time to start the eternal race is now
It is not in your place to fathom ‘how.’

Hear it: It is not in me that wills
But it is all about Him that calls.
This is the time to answer, “Yes Lord”
No more rooms to doubt His sure Word.

Yea, there have been many wasted years
But now, I’m rising above all my fears.
Because His power is at work in me
As His sure promise says it should be.

It is not going to be an easy race
Many troubles I know I will face.
But on my side is the Omniscient
His grace for me is ever sufficient.

Come along with me if you want
Being together with you won’t hurt.
We all belong to the same Father
So we can do it better together.

 

Photo Credits: Dreamstine

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Happy Independence Day Nigeria!

57 Hearty Cheers to Nigeria On her Independence Day Anniversary

Independence Day Celebration 2017

October 1st: Happy Independence Day Nigeria!

Nigeria's Independence in 1960

Congratulations Nigeria, it is your 57th birthday anniversary

When was Nigeria founded

 

Photo credits: Received via WhatsApp chat groups

When Will Americans Stop Disrespecting Their President?

Disclaimer: This article is not a political opinion. It is just an observation I wanted to let off my chest.

First and foremost, I am not an American, neither do I live in that fantastic country. However, it is my dream to be there some day, hopefully in the nearest future.

Just like many other people around the world, most of what I know about America and her president come from all sorts of media. To that extent, I would admit that not everything I have heard or read  about America and her people would be perfectly correct.

At the same time, you will not need to look too far to see that all is not well with the way some Americans see and address their current president.

From the people in mainstream broadcast and print media to the ones on the blogosphere, there seems to be an unprecedented attack on the office of the president of the United States, or better put, on the person of the present occupant of that exalted office, Donald Trump.

I feel that some, if not many, Americans are yet to come to terms with the realities of who this newest occupant of the White House is.

Why did I say that? Just turn on your news channels and you will easily see so much disrespect as it were in the way some Americans talk about president Trump.

Most recently, there was an outburst in many quarters over the president’s comment on some NFL players not standing to sing the national anthem. You saw the way some people reacted or responded to Trump on that, didn’t you?

I do not need to cite multiple examples here to drive home my point. Everyone around the world knows that the office of the POTUS is a respectable one. So why are this generation of Americans proving otherwise by the way they talk about Mr. Trump?

Besides, I am not trying to hold brief for anyone with this post. But as a distant observer on this other side of the Atlantic, it is observable that some of the remarks coming from some Americans about president Trump are either too uncomplimentary or out-rightly disrespectful.

Some people reportedly went as far as calling Trump the new Hitler. Really? Is he? May be I should consult my history books again!

Barack Obama (right) pictured with Donald Trump at the White House in Washington, DC on January 20, 2017 -AFP Photo-JIM WATSON
Barack Obama (right) pictured with Donald Trump at the White House in Washington, DC on January 20, 2017 (AFP Photo/JIM WATSON )

Right now, many Americans I see on international media seem to always take an exception to anything their President says or does, and responding publicly to him in most critical terms.

For God’s sake, it is the POTUS we are talking here! So why all these unsavoury name-calling and dirty jokes about president Trump by Americans?

Like him or not, he still remains the president. Besides, he is a father and a husband. So needless to say, he deserves more respect than some Americans are presently showing to him.

It would have been understandable to some extent if all these perceived disrespectful​ attitudes and denigrating remarks towards president Trump had emanated from people other than from American themselves. To think that some Americans seem to take immense delight in openly deriding their president is shocking to say the least.

I am not saying a president may not be criticised. But it calls for concern when it becomes a virulent personal attack.

In his time, I can recall that President Obama was also criticised by the American public on several fronts. But it seems the criticisms have gotten worse with President Trump, especially as far as the media is concerned.

Some of the unpalatable things we now hear some Americans say of their president are a huge departure from what we know (or think we know) of how average citizens of America hitherto saw their number one citizen.

But is President Trump bothered in any away? Let’s leave that question for another day!

Anyone who is a detached follower of the American mainstream media may agree that there are many Americans who do not speak well of, or who are out-rightly disrespectful to president Trump by the way and manner they talk about him. But the question remains,  “When will some Americans stop disrespecting their president?”

Do you agree that some Americans are disrespecting President Trump by the way they talk about him in the media? Feel free to air your views in the comment section.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Echoes From My Heart 1

  1. Give your best to whatever your hands find to do.

  2. Find your purpose in life, pursue it, fulfil it.

  3. Love is the best living environment, create it.

  4. Hatred is toxic, you won’t survive for long living on it.

  5. Someone needs your help, give it.

  6. You will need someone’s help too, ask for it.

  7. The beginning is fine, but the end should be better.

  8. Happiness is inside you, stop looking in the wrong directions.

  9. Have a large heart, you need it to accommodate some people.

  10. Make plans for the future, especially for the hereafter.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

3 Main Reasons That Confirmed Apostle Paul Wasn’t A Polished Speaker

In a previous post, it was established that despite being a very intellectual person, Apostle Paul was not a very polished speaker. But this did not anyway impede his ministry as he was as effective as he could ever be.

It is far better to be plain in speech, yet walking openly and consistently with the gospel, than to be admired by thousands, and be lifted up in pride… (Matthew Henry)

But how can we be so sure that the great Apostle Paul was not a man imbued with so much eloquence? The scriptures bear record of it as we shall see shortly.

Was apostle Paul a polished speaker?

In this post, we will consider three reasons confirming that Paul was not as gifted in oratory as he was in knowledge.

1) Apostle Paul humbly admitted he wasn’t a polished speaker

Even though Paul never exalted his credentials above the grace of God upon his life, he always listed his shining qualifications whenever an opportunity presented itself. So he wouldn’t​ have failed to list the power of oratory as one of his skills he if he had it.

Not only that, in 2 Corinthians 11:6, Paul categorically admitted in his own words that he was not a skilled speaker.

I may be unskilled as a speaker, but I’m not lacking in knowledge. We have made this clear to you in every possible way.

You might say that Paul was being humble by openly admitting that he was not a polished speaker. Agreed. But I think that the humility comes more from him pointing out a perceived weakness in him and not trying to cover it up with his strengths than from merely owning up to a skill he didn’t possess.

2) Eloquence was not part of Apostle Paul’s ministry strategy

Paul had a good understanding of what God sent him to do and what He didn’t send him to do. And in accomplishing what he was sent to do, his strategy was to depend on the power of God so that His name alone is gloried as the value of the Cross is made known.

For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with eloquent words of wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power. 1Cor1:17

Unlike Apollos whom we were clearly told was very eloquent in speeches while ministering (Acts 18:24), Paul stated that it was not part of his ministry strategy to display eloquence in speeches as he delivered the gospel messages he was sent to preach. Doing so, according to him, would have undermined the power in the Cross of Christ which he was commissioned to proclaim.

3) The people spoke about Apostle Paul’s speeches not being at the highest levels

Apart from the fact that Apostle admitted that he was not so eloquent in speeches, the people who heard him speak at various times and places also observed it and spoke about it to his hearing. Their observation bothered particularly on his body-frame and speech power.

For some say, “His letters are weighty and forceful, but his physical presence is unimpressive, and his speaking is of no account.” 1Cor 10:10

Paul must have been so diminutive a man some people in Corinth refered to him as a man with “unimpressive physical appearance.” Besides having a seemingly weak appearance, the people also observed that Paul’s “manner of speaking is of no account.” And Paul was fully aware of this uncomplementary notion the people had about him.

However, it has to be mentioned that the people recognised that Paul wrote powerful letters even though his speeches appeared less impressive. It seemed to me that what he lacked in speaking skills was fully compensated by his writing prowess.

Base on the foregoing, you might say Paul’s speeches were not at the highest levels as he wasn’t outstandingly eloquent as some other speakers in his time might have been. But in no way did the gospel suffer as a result of this perceived lack of oratorial skills. Rather it made it more obvious that the power of Christ was at work in Him.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Does God Have A Purpose For A Child Born Out Of Rape?

Disclaimer: This post is not an endorsement of rape. It is a humble reflection on the realisation that God can bring out utmost good from a bad situation (such as pregnancy from rape) if we let Him.

God has a purpose for everyone, including a child who is a product of rape. I hope that is not contrary to what you may have been told before now? If it is, feel free to leave me a comment at the end of the post.

However, the fact that God does have a purpose for children born out of rapes does not mean that it is the will of God for such rapes to happen. Rapes happen as a consequence of the depravity of the human nature, not by divine orchestration.

I did not say it was God’s plan to have me raped.  That’s insane! Human beings make their own decisions, good and evil, and we all live with the consequences of those every day.  I don’t believe the “rape pregnancy” was a gift.  I believe my son was — not BECAUSE he was conceived in rape, but in spite of it. Jennifer Christie, A rape survivor, in My son was conceived in rape, but his life has dignity and a purpose.

It is God’s will that even when rapes happen (and  pregnancies result), we can trust Him to bring out some good out of the horrendous experience. He is the only One that has the absolute capacity to bring good out of such evil.

One good outcome from such ‘evil’ cases I heard about, forms the basis for writing this post.

Over one weekend recently, I had a swell time listening to some soul-lifting messages on SoundCloud. In one of the messages, the late popular International Speaker, from the Bahamas, Dr. Myles Monroe, said something that I found very interesting and worthy of further exploration.

“It doesn’t matter whether you were born within or outside wedlock,” said Dr Monroe, “God still has a purpose for you. One of the greatest men in the world today is James Robison and he was a product of rape. He is doing many great things for humanity…”

James Robison
James & Betty Robison Photo Credits: JamesRobison.net/about

Pastor James Robison, a product of rape? I wasn’t sure about that claim but it got me really curious. So I had to check it out…

Prior to the point where Robison was mentioned in that message as a child born out of rape, Dr Monroe was explaining the fact that God has a purpose for every one of us, irrespective of the circumstances of our birth. And that purpose was pre-determined long before we were conceived.

As he put it, “Your purpose in life precedes your conception.” In other words, God had determined your purpose even before you were formed in your mother’s womb.

I agree with the assertion because it is in line with what God said to Jeremiah, for instance, when he was being called to ministry:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5.

God knew Jeremiah even before He was formed in his mother’s womb. And He had a purpose for him before he was born.

Isn’t it wonderful that God has had a purpose for you too even before you were born?

Our finite mind may not be able to fully comprehend the import of that in all its ramifications. But God cannot lie. As He said He knew Jeremiah before he was conceived,  and had a purpose for him that preceded his birth, then that’s the truth we can hold on to!

Consider the case of our Lord Jesus as well. Even before He was born, God, through an Angel had announced both His name and purpose to His ‘father’ Joseph:

But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. Matt. 1:20-21 (Emphasis mine).

Back to the question of God having a purpose for a product of rape. Yes, even a child born out of rape has a purpose from God. Let’s take a closer look at the case in point.

The James Robison’s case

I didn’t know very much about Robison before now, so I had to do some findings to cross-check the claim that he was born out of a sexual encounter that his mum was forced into. And it didn’t take me much time to find that information available in the public space corroborated the story.

In an interview with Scott Ross of the CBN’s 700 Club, Robison himself summarised the circumstances of his conception as follows,

[I am] a product of rape. My mother was a practical nurse and was raped by the alcoholic son of the elderly man she cared for. It was a forced – I don’t think we would call it violent – but he forced his affections on her, and at age 40 she conceived me.

Today, this so-called product of rape is now a notable pastor, televangelist, theologian, author and a founder of an international humanitarian agency which  embarks on many relief efforts, bringing smiles to many needy people across the world.

So indeed God can use anyone, even a product of rape, to do great things. But we will miss out on them except we give them a chance for life. Pastor James Robison is a living example!

When pregnancy results from a rape, many people will take it as a good enough ground to abort the baby. But there can be an exception to that kind of natural response if one understands that God has a purpose for everyone including those that are products of rapes.

Do you have a comment? If yes, talk to me in the comment section.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

 

The Spotlight Is On You

Every day, you watch other people do their thing. They get the applause. They get rewarded or awarded…

They are the cynosure of all eyes. No one seems to have  noticed you. And you wonder –

When am I going to be on the centre stage?

The truth is that right now, you are already on the centre stage of life. Believe it!

The Spotlight is on you, now –  whether you realise it or not.

And even if no one seems to be watching you, remember God is watching.

All eyes may not be on you, but God’s eyes are on you

Act well…

This life is your one chance to leave a positive mark. You cannot live it twice.

Make the most of it.

No compromises. Do your best and be your best.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, the spotlight is always on you because God is always watching you.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Was Apostle Paul A Polished Speaker?

How much do you know about Apostle Paul of the New Testament?

Many people will agree that he was a man of high intellect, he was knowledgeable, passionate about the course of the gospel, and full of divine revelation.

He knew his way through any kind of argument. As a man highly schooled in Judaism, Paul had a good grasp of law and history as well.

Coupled with the uncommon revelations he received directly from the Lord Jesus Himself, no one could parallel him in the most accurate communication of the gospel of Christ.

It is obvious therefore that there are many fantastic things we can say about Apostle Paul. But was he a polished speaker?

You might think so, but what he said about himself concerning that question may shock you.

You could easily be excused if you pass Apostle Paul as a very eloquent person – a man who is very “fluent or persuasive in speaking or writing.”

That he was very persuasive in his writings is pretty obvious in the way he marshalled his points in the various Epistles penned by him and the many arguments and counter-arguments he had to be engaged in for the advancement of the gospel.

Despite all these, Paul admitted in one of his Epistles that he was not a skilled speaker. Or as he put it, “…I am unskilled in speech…”

But even if I am unskilled in speech, yet I am not so in knowledge; in fact, in every way we have made this evident to you in all things (2 Corinthians 11:6).

Although he acknowledged that he is vast and skilled in knowledge, Paul told the Corinthian church that he was “unskilled in speech.”

In other words, you could say Paul meant he was not a polished speaker, a trained orator or a captivating public speaker. Was he just being humble or telling a fact?

What do you think?

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Get Off My Back

Who are you to call me names?
You think we are playing games?
Gush, it doesn’t look so to me
My judge, you’re not called to be.

Call me weak, you are wrong!
God says, I am strong.
What God says I am, I am
And it can never be a harm.

You may think otherwise;
I know you are full of lies.
Just like your father, the devil
All you think is to do evil.

You know where you belong
Otherwise, you are wrong.
It’s time you began to pack
And at once get off my back.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

10 Things About A Humble Dad

I have been a dad only for a couple of years. And in these few years, I have come to realise that parenting is a great privilege and  a humbling responsibility as well.

“Anyone can be father, but it takes a special person to be a dad.”

Through its’ highs and lows as a dad, there are many lessons one can gradually learn about a dad and his children.  While it is one thing to be a dad, it is another thing to be a humble dad.

This post is about being a humble dad. I believe that becoming a humble dad will make you become a better dad. Therefore I present to you

10 things about a humble dad you should know

1. A humble dad apologises to his kids when he does something wrong to them.

2. A humble dad knows he does not understand every thing his children say, but he actively seeks to understand them more.

3. Only a humble dad will acknowledge that he does not know everything; there are things he can learn from his kids.

4. A humble dad knows​ that he is not perfect but he still strives to be the best he can be for his children.

5. A humble dad acknowledges that his children are indeed God’s heritage in his care and he treats them as such.

6. A humble dad knows that he cannot meet all the needs of his children without support from Above so he actively seeks the help of God through prayer.

7. A humble dad knows that his children are not perfect but he has to love them despite their imperfections.

8. A humble dad forgives his children all their wrongs because he too needs forgiveness from the Father above.

9. A humble dad values his time but he doesn’t mind spending valuable time with his children.

10. A humble dad knows that he is not just a father, he is also a teacher​ who should take delight in teaching things to his children.

What is your own idea about being a humble dad? Tell us what you think.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Some Side Reasons You Are Negatively Criticised

Whatever you do in life, criticism is one of the ways some people will ever respond or react to you. There is no one who is reading this post right now that may not have faced criticisms in one way or another.

It is okay if the criticisms are positive, because positive criticisms give room for process or self improvements. However, it is another kettle of fish if the criticisms are largely negative.

positive criticisms

No matter how nice you are, not everyone will be happy for you when you succeed. Naturally​, because they are not happy at your good fortunes, the next thing they will try to do is to churn out negative criticisms against you.

Negative criticisms are not sweet pills to swallow, but you will keep getting them. That is because you cannot control people’s thoughts, words and reactions towards you.

The best thing to do is to learn how to how negative criticisms when they come so that you don’t have to be so frustrated by them. Understanding why people criticise you negatively, will position you better to be able to handle the unpleasant and such inconveniencing situations when they do arise.

One of the ways to appropriately manage negative criticisms is to know why people harshly criticise you in the first. So let us consider the question,

Why do people criticise you negatively?

In a recent post I made on Facebook, I opined that “The fact that some people criticise you does not mean that they hate you; they might just be jealous.”

It was my little way of saying that negative criticisms can stem from pure hatred or concealed jealousy. Obviously, there could be other reasons.

To expand the discussion, I asked the question across my social media handles, “Why do some people criticise you negatively?  Any ideas please?”

A follower who responded to the post via my Instagram handle, suggested that some people may criticise you because either they feel intimidated by you or they are afraid of you.

Thanks to that respondent, because in addition to hatred and jealousy, we can see that people may also criticise you because they feel intimidated by you or are out-rightly afraid of you.

Positive criticisms

Responses from Facebook

I received some responses via Facebook comments as well. In the following paragraphs, I will share with you the thoughts of some people that commented:

“They [criticise me negatively in order] to bring my morale down. They also know they don’t know and have what I’ve got.”

“Negative criticism is an excuse from a lazy person. Because he cannot attain that level which you are, the only encouragement he gives to himself is to criticise u negatively.”

“Some criticise you out of jealousy and some due to lack of understanding.”

“Complex, self defence, jealousy and ignorance I think.”

“Just out of envy and jealousy and  hate.”

“They do so Primarily out of envy, ignorance & lack of understanding.”

“Sometimes they may not understand me. Sometimes they may be misinformed about me. Sometimes is in their nature . Sometimes they just want to get my attention. Sometimes it just happens like that.”

“Some criticise you out of mere jealousy, while  some others criticise you based  on what  they have  heard about  you.”

Let us hear your thoughts as well. Why do people criticise you negatively?

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

10 Curious Blog Names I’d Like Explained

What is in a blog name?, you may ask. Your blog name often points to the direction or focus of your blog.

As was stated in the Story behind your blog name post,

Your blog name is one of the first things that readers notice about your site. Your name tells visitors what your blog is about, but also reveals a bit about you and your personality …Cheri Lucas Rolands

There are some blog names that I consider easy to understand in that you don’t need to crack your brain so much to have an idea what the blog is about, even before you pay a visit to their about pages.

For instance, some of my followers such as Josephina of Joseyphina’s World, David Ettinger of EttingersWriting, Malaika of Potential Doctor, to name but a few, have blog names that one might consider very straightforward to understand.

But then, there are also some other blogs that I follow or some of the ones that follow mine, that may be adjudged to have blog names that are not so straightforward to comprehend.

By that I mean that their blog names appear to have meanings that may not be so easy to decipher on the surface.

For the purpose of this post, I shall be restricted to highlighting some of my followers whose blogs I consider to have ‘curious’ names. Curious in the sense that​ further explanations​ may be needed to truly understand the exact meaning of the blog names.

I hope that the authors whose blogs I will highlight and link to in this post will find this as a veritable avenue for them to explain the correct meaning of their blog names to my audience. Therefore, this post will try to draw out the blog owners to throw more light on the inspiration behind their blog names.

First of all, it is not my intention to be critical with this post. (Forgive me if it comes across that way). Consider it my privilege here to voluntarily recommend these blogs that will be featured below.

My wish is that this post will precipitate some answers that will satisfy readers’ curiosity and clear our doubts as well. But if this post makes the blog writers feel uncomfortable in any way (which I hope not), they should feel free to let me know for necessary action.

Having said that, We can now take a look at the:

Meaning of blog names

10 Curious Blog Names I’d Like Explained

1. Tikeetha’s A Thomas Point of View

We know that Jesus’ Disciple known as the doubting Thomas, even though I have long realised that Thomas is more than a doubter.

I also know the blog writer Tikeetha is not the sister of the doubting Thomas😀 But is she his disciple?

I think not because I follow the blog and I don’t see Thomas’ spirit at work every time. So Tikeetha, would you kindly tell us why you chose a ‘Thomas point of view’ as your blog name?

2. Anne’s Freedomborn … Aussie Christian Focus

I have enjoyed following this blog from far away Australia. Over the period of our mutual interactions, I have come to know a few things about the author, including being a former atheist, who is now very passionate in following God.

But I have not come to fully grasp the true meaning of the blog name, “Freedom… Asssie Christian Focus.”

Over there on her blog’s first page, Anne tells the story  of an eagle which started life in a chicken’s world and lived like a chicken until one day when it discovered it’s true identity as an eagle and flew away to the sky.

The story is interesting, but are we missing something out on the true meaning of “Freedomborn … Aussie Christian Focus?”

In her response to a previous post on this blog, Anne stated, “…I prayed for a Name and I thought of Freedomborn… My Blog focus including Comments has often been about Freedom in Christ Jesus and what it really means to be Born Again and Perfected in Love…”

Over to you Anne, did I miss anything on the true meaning of the name of your blog?

3. Mikayla’s MiksBullshitsBlog

Mikayla, I am sorry if you think your write-ups are bullshits because they are not.

I have read through your posts and I saw no bullshits dumped anywhere. I saw them as very interesting perspectives on your life’s experiences, and they are full of lessons.

You have to keep writing, because you are definitely not dispensing bullshits. At the same time, I can’t but ask: Of all the blog names you could have chosen, why bullshits?

Mikayla, would you let us in on the reason you chose that name for your blog?

4. Vincent’s TalmidimBlogging

At the time I discovered the blog, the word talmidim was completely new to me.

Now I know it is a plural Hebrew word meaning, “Disciples,” referring to “those who leave family to study and follow the ways of their teacher [rabbi]. They study not only to learn what their teacher knows but to become the type of man their teacher is.”

That is a wonderful meaning. After all, I see my self as a disciple of Jesus Christ, aspiring to be like Him. But we need to hear from you Vincent: what is the inspiration behind your blog name, Talmidim?

5. Kristen’s The ungodly woman

Wait a minute, ungodly woman? Why would I want to follow an ungodly woman?

That was the question that came up in my mind the first time I ever saw that blog. But then I explored the blog and didn’t see ungodliness spattered all over the places.

What then inspired that kind of blog name? The blog’s author explains, “The way I see it, if sainthood and godliness is supposed to look like what so many practising Christians in America believe it to be, I’d much rather be lumped in with the rest of the sinners and ungodly ones.

Besides, as the ungodly woman, I have unfailing confidence that Christ is for me. Even, and especially, when His people are not.

Beyond what is obvious in the quote above, Dear Kristen, if you don’t mind, this is an opportunity to explain the philosophy behind the name of your blog, to me and to other readers.

6. Braddahr’s Cultural Atheists

I have written a few posts bothering on atheism before. To be honest, some avowed atheists that responded to those posts proved very difficult to relate with.

Even though a few of them were polite in my conversations with them, many of them were not that nice at all. So when ‘Cultural Atheist’ began to follow my blog, I was tempted to think, “there goes another atheist.’

But I came to realise soon enough that the author had already converted from atheism to Christianity. And I was pleasantly surprised about that!

Was that why the name ‘cultural atheists’ was chosen as the name of the blog?” Braddahr, if you are reading this, kindly explain to us the real meaning of Cultural Atheist as your blog name.

7. JD Mays’ Shattered in Him

I am curious to know what inspired this blog post.

As the author states on her blog, “By sharing her journey, her hope is to shine a light for someone who may be lost in the dark.”

That’s quite clear. But is there more to the blog name than meets the eye?

Dear Mays, do us a favour by shedding more light on Shattered in Him to enable us understand the blog better.

8. Lisa’s The Whisper Within

What is the Whisper within? Would I be wrong if I say it means the voice of the spirit on the inside of me?

Is it just a gut feeling or conscience or your sense of right or wrong?

Lisa says it is more than that; that it is something different and extraordinary. Wouldn’t you want to hear the extraordinary​ meaning of the whisper within?

Dear Lisa, what then is the true meaning of  the whisper within as your blog name?

9. Jacqueline’s A cooking pot and twisted tales

What do you see when you read that blog name? May be a lot of delicious meals hot off the pot, on one hand… Right!

On the other hand, I can assure you that the posts on that blog are not ‘twisted,’ What I don’t know is why the author named her blog a “Cooking pot and twisted tales.”

May be there is a story behind it. And I would like to hear it. So Jacqueline, would you tell us what inspired the name of your blog?

10. A  Beauty Beyond Bones

This prolific writer, I understand, prefers to remain anonymous. But her blog tells her story in a way that speak volumes about her. Her story is one of struggles, faith, courage, victory, hope and encouragement.

I have often wondered the true meaning of beauty beyond bones until I read her post explaining it.

My beauty is from Christ”  she says, “My beauty is not my own. It is because I am made by God.

“Yes, my physical body – my flesh, muscles, bones – they’re beautiful, because they’re the handiwork of the Lord. But it goes beyond that. My true beauty comes from the fact that Jesus is living inside of my heart. He dwells within me.”

That is quite inspiring, I would say. But is there anything you would want to add to enhance our understanding of your blog name, Beauty Beyond Bones?

To everyone whose blog is mentioned here, I expect you would leave a comment in response to the question on your blog name. Even if your blog is not mentioned, you can put in a comment as well.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

What Is The Story Behind Your Blog Name?

What is the story of your blog name?

Your blog name is your established identity on the blogosphere. And I want to believe that it was thoughtfully chosen.

As Cheri Lucas Rowlands observed,

“Your blog name is one of the first things that readers notice about your site. Your name tells visitors what your blog is about, but also reveals a bit about you and your personality.”

The purpose of this post is to ask you to share the story behind the name of your blog so that we can understand you more and relate with you better. But before I delve into asking you that question, I will like to first and foremost explain how I arrived at my own blog name.

I know it is not a so-fantastic story but it is my pleasure to share it with you all the same. As you can see, the name of this blog is Victors’ Corner.

Back in my undergraduate days many years ago, I used to ‘run’ a little motivational speaking session in my class. I would often stand in front of my classmates (usually before or in between lectures) to speak to my fellow students. I would encourage them to work hard, to not be discouraged, to not to give up hope and to always trust God for the best.

I used to call that little sharing platform The Victors’ Corner. The Victor in the appellation is not the Victor that is my real first name. But it referred to victor as an English word meaning a winner. My simple operating purpose was to inspire my fellow students then to become victors, succeeding (especially in academics) in flying colours.

Around the year 2001 when I opened my first email address, Victorscorner became the natural username to employ. But instead of the two separate words, Victor’s Corner, it became merged into one as Victorscorner. The apostrophe was done away with because, as you know, it is not allowed as part of an email username.

Then came 2015 when I had the privilege of starting this blog. WordPress requires an email address to set up an account. And as such, my already already victorscorner@yahoo.com became handy.

Victorscorner also became authomatically used as part of the blog’s domain name. And I later adopted it as the name of the blog as well.

However I will like to explain the little twist to it – the double entendre in it. At the initial stage, the blog name was in the singular form, Victor’s Corner, referring to one winner at a time on one hand, and my (real name, Victor’s) corner of WordPress on the other.

But I later began to see everyone on this platform as winner a in one way or another. So the name was tweaked to a plural form, Victors’ Corner. That is the form in which the blog name exists till date.

As I explained on the About Page, we are all winners in this corner.

I am a winner

You are a winner

Together we are winners.

That’s the story behind my blog name. You may read My About Page for more.

Now let me ask you: What is the story behind your own blog name? 

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

8 Simple Reasons I Look At The Comment Section Of My Blog

Blog comments

Blogging brings about a two-way interaction. You share your opinions through your posts, and your readers respond to them through their comments. This makes the whole blogging interaction mutually beneficial.

As a personal blogger like me, the least you can do after going through your readers’ comments – to retain their loyalty – is to acknowledge their effort by genuinely responding to their comments. I see it as a sign of disrespect not to do so.

I like to read and respond to all the comments on my blog posts. There are immense benefits in doing so.

In this post, I am sharing some of the simple reasons I love reading my blog comments:

Benefits of Blog comments

1. To show that I acknowledge and respect my readers

Out of the millions of blogs out there, it is a big favour for you to have people reading yours, and even a bigger one to have them leave comments on your posts. So if someone is kind enough to comment on your post, be respectful enough to acknowledge the person with a response.

If you do not respond, the person may stop commenting on your future posts because he or she will feel unappreciated. Hardly would you have a neglected reader who keeps coming back and commenting on all your posts.

As you well know, respect begets respect. I want to be acknowledged whenever I comment on other blogs. So I extend the same courtesy to anyone who takes out his or her valuable time to leave a comment on mine.

2. Readers’ comments on my post reveal their connection or engagement level

When a post strikes a chord – positive or negative – in the heart of a reader, he or she is most likely to react to it by ‘liking’ it, sharing it or leaving a comment after reading it. That goes to show that if I explore the comments on my blog, I would often see how much the post resonated with the readers.

I would not know much about how you as my reader feel about my posts, except you leave me an appropriate comment. And once I see your comment – positive or negative, I feel bound to respond to it.

Apart from clearly identified spam comments, I don’t yet have a record of ever deleting any reader’s comment on my posts.

Experience has shown me that it is easier for readers to simply walk away after reading a post than to click the “like button” below a post or write a comment after reading the post.

Even when a reader shows that he or she ‘likes’ a post, (I am glad to see those “likes” on my posts) I feel that comments show a deeper level of connection or engagement between my readers and I than “likes” do.

The “Like” button is a one-way traffic; as the name depicts, you hit it to show that you like a post. But through comments, I can get to see whether you like the post, disagree with it or you are simply indifferent.

Usually, I can feel my readers pulse through the comment window. While exploring the comments, I would often see all sorts of emotions and attitudes on display: joy, agreement, disagreement, anger, hate, love, appreciation, prejudice, faith, hopelessness, desperation, to mention but a few.

As I said already, I endeavour to respond to all of the comments as most appropriate. So far, none of my posts have generated more number of comments than I have been able to respond to.

You don’t have to follow my example here; you have the power to decide which of your readers’ comments to delete or keep. That’s why there is a setting on WordPress that allows you to moderate the comments on your blog.

3. A measure of the success of a post

The comment section reveals a lot about the acceptability or impact of any post I make. It lets me see whether or not the post has ‘hit the target.’

There are many ways to measure the success of a post. Apart from the number of views, shares and likes, the number of comments generated by the post also counts for me.

Please don’t misunderstand me; I do not write any post with the sole intention of generating mere comments. Rather, before I hit the publish button, my number one wish is always that my post will positively touch at least one person’s life.

That is to say that the ultimate test of the success of my posts is the number of lives they impact positively, not the number of comments they generate. But how would I know that someone somewhere was touched or influenced by my post except he or she leaves me a feedback comment?

Why you should read your blog's comments

Perhaps a few examples will bring home my point.

I can recall a positive feedback I once received from a pastor in the US who commented that a post I made bothering on time, talent and treasure gave him an insight to a message he had been proposing to preach to His congregation but did not know how to go about it.

How about a reader who after reading my post on forgiveness commented that the post touched her and she had decided to forgive someone whom she had refused to forgive for years?

Quite recently too, “you have made my day,” was a comment a reader left below the post why not to judge people.

How else could I measure the success of my posts without all these positive feedback which I glean from reading the comment section?

4. Ideas for new posts on the blog and other suggestions.

In my relatively short period in blogging, I have discovered that the comment section of my posts is a goldmine for new blog ideas and readers’ suggestions. I have been able to spurn several posts from looking at my readers’ comments and also improved on my blog generally by implementing some of their suggestions.

So if you thoroughly explore your readers’ comments, you will definitely pick up ideas for new posts on your blog. For instance, there were some comments on my blog that I lifted and turned into full fledged posts. All the Conversation series so far posted on this blog fall into this category.

Not too long ago as well, I got to know through a reader’s comment that the Twitter sharing button on my blog was not properly set up.

Before I received the feedback, I didn’t realise that once anyone tried to share my posts via that button, it usually led them to a Twitter account that is not mine, though bearing some semblance with my blog name. But I was able to rectify the improperly set-up blog-twitter link because the error was pointed out through the comment section by one of my faithful readers.

So check your blog comments, you will see fresh blog topics directly suggested by your readers. Although most of them will not be so direct, you will still be able to pick up some fresh ideas that can help improve your entire blogging experience.

5. Gives me a lead on to new blogs to follow or fresh posts to read.

There are many ways to discover new blogs to follow or interesting new posts to read. One simple way I have found is to follow through the channel of the comment section of my posts.

I do check my WordPress Reader from time to time for new posts and I also do receive daily email notifications from blogs I follow in numbers more than I can handle on a given day. But I make sure that no day passes without responding to my blog comments, which in turn lures me to the commentator’s blog.

Why people follow your blog

Once someone leaves a comment on any of my posts, I am most likely to head to the person’s blog – after responding to the comment – to see what the person has to offer on his or her blog. This way, I have discovered interesting new blogs to follow and great articles to read.

I have also observed that some readers do recommend posts for me to check out on their site by dropping the link via the comment section. (To guard against being spammed, I have set up the blog to allow for maximum of two links at a time from anyone comment section).

By and large, the comment section of my blog has become the easiest way for me to reciprocate comments and actively follow up with the conversations on my commenters’ blogs.

If you have followed​ this blog closely by commenting on my posts, you will have observed that I seem to pay a visit to your blog once you have left me a comment. I don’t intend to stop doing that because it is a strategy that has been working for me.

6. Gives me further insight on a post.

Your post is essentially your perspective on an issue. And no one person has it all. By reading your readers’ comments, you can gain some more perspectives on the issue in discourse.

On any given posts, there are readers that will give you a very interesting perspective to your post, different from the one you wrote about. So you will miss out on them if you do not reckon with your blog comments.

When I wrote 8 reasons I do not follow your blog, I was simply sharing my own perspectives based on my limited experiences on why I am unable to follow some blogs. But as I took a good look at the various comments generated by that post, I could see other reasons adduced by my readers on the principles that guide them in determining which blogs to follow or not to follow.

Of course some of their guiding principles tallied with mine. But there were some that didn’t, which kind of gave me some more insights on why some people may not follow a blog.

So if you do not mind receiving a different view to your post, allow your readers to engage you through their comments on your posts. The feedback might pleasantly surprise you.

7. Avenue to throw more light on a post or correct a wrong impression.

On more than one occasions, some readers have misunderstood my posts, as seen through their comments. By responding to their comments, I was able to throw more light on the post and also (hopefully) corrected the wrong impression that might have been formed from reading them.

I have also had to do some rejoinder posts after following the direction of the comments that followed the earlier posts. That was what happened when I wrote 5 reasons I could not have been single and satisfied.

You could take the post as an open response to some readers’ comments precipitated by an earlier post on singleness. And I must tell you it helped to assuage some feelings precipitated by the referenced earlier post.

Blog comments

My dear friend, it is important you read and respond to your readers comments. It is a huge disservice to both you and your readers if you do not read and respond to your blog comments.

For instance, how can you provide an answer to a reader’s question in the comment section if you didn’t check it out in the first place? You can be sure that you will lose a reader’s loyalty if he or she feels repeatedly ignored by you.

8. A source of some motivation

I will not end this post without adding this point: I get some motivations (no matter how little) from looking at my blog comments.

When I started this blog, I did not so much imagine that so many people around the world would appreciate the thoughts I share. Now that I am aware that people are reading and giving positive feedback through their comments, I get encouraged to keep writing.

That does not mean that I would stop writing if the comments stop coming. But sincerely I am glad that people do read and comment on my posts. So that’s a source of motivation for me to keep the colourful blogging flag flying.

What benefits have you enjoyed reading comments on your blog?

Like this post? Don’t forget to share it.

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

A Blank Cheque From Jesus To You

 

During a private discussion with His Disciples, Jesus Christ specifically said to them, “If you ask Me anything in My name [as My representative], I will do it” John 14:14 AMP.

This sounds like a blank cheque from Jesus to you as well!

wp-image--587097977.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

3 Kinds of Communication That Destroy Marriages

Silence communication, negative Communication and Inadequate Communication.

Good communication is a vital ingredient in building a happy and healthy marriage. Without it, unhappiness and conflict in the home will be a common experience.

As someone said, communication is the lifeblood of any marriage. But it must added that such communication has to be positive, constructive and productive.

Truth be told, some communications can drain the life out of any healthy relationship. In this post, we will examine some forms of such communication that are not so healthy to engage in marriage.

If good communication improves the health of marriage, then obviously, bad communication destroys it. Nothing less than wholesome, intentional, positive and productive communication should be promoted within a loving marriage relationship.

All the same, there are spouses who may be inadvertently  involved in improper communications with each other. It is my belief that being aware of these kinds of communication that destroy marriages will help you not to engage in them so that the happiness and health of your marriage will be protected.

To that extent, I present to you 3 kinds of communication that may destroy your marriage, with the hope that you will learn not to engage in them:

  • Silence communication
  • Inadequatee communication
  • Negative communication

Let us now take a closer​ look at each of the stated types of communications:

1. Silence communication

On the surface, it would appear that “silence communication” as being used here is an oxymoron, contradicting in terms. But it is not – especially if you think of it in terms of nonverbal communications.

Silence in itself is not the total absence of communication. But it is a form of communication as well.

Through the use of words, you do communicate in any relationship. But you can sometimes do the same without necessarily using words – by the use of silence. That’s why they say, for instance, that “silence means consent.”

In marriage however, silence may not always mean consent, pleasure or happiness; it can mean discontentment, unhappiness, disapproval, indifference, ignorance, bruised ego, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, displeasure, concealed anger, etc.

But the fact still remains that even when you keep silent, you are still communicating something. The question then will be whether or not your silence is serving the proper purpose.

Sadly, “silence communication” can result in miscommunication and misunderstanding.

3 types of Communication that destroy Marriage

It is true that silence may be desirable at times, especially when you need to douse some apparent tensions. But do not allow prolonged silence communication to fester between you and your spouse, neither should you subject your partner to the so-called “silent treatment.” Such will not augur well for the health of your beautiful marriage.

Whenever you notice unwholesome silence communication in your relationship, be the one to break the ice  (in a positive way). This is because continuous silence communication between you and your spouse will have a negative effect on the health of your marriage. Therefore, use “silence communication” wisely.

2. Inadequate communications

Understand that inadequate communication is poor communication whether in marriage or outside of it. Poor communication will in turn result in poor understanding and ultimately in conflict and misunderstanding. And persistent conflict between you and your spouse is not good for the health of your marriage.

Have you ever felt that your partner is not open to discussing​ all issues with you? Or you know he or she is deliberately withholding vital information from you? If your answer is yes,  then you may be experiencing inadequate communication in your marriage.

It is also inadequate communication if your spouse can use more information than you are willing and open to communicate with him or her. What that means is that you are withholding information from your partner without his or her consent. And that’s not right. If your spouse is the one withholding information from you, it is also not right.

More often than not, inadequate communication can result in serious misunderstanding​ between you both, and consequently to unhealthy conflict that puts the union at risk.

In marriage you should be free to talk about anything and everything with your spouse. Such communication should be proactive, intentional, regular and adequate.

3. Negative communication

Ever heard​ the saying that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing?” That shows that it may be more beneficial sometimes to maintain silence than to say unpalatable things – to your spouse, for example.

Well, while not encouraging silence communication in marriage, it is better to avoid negative communication all together. Negative communications will produce negative effects.

Negative communication such as uncomplimentary remarks about your spouse and unending doses of unconstructive criticisms will not improve the good-health of your marriage. Your spouse may feel disrespected or unvalued if your communication always come across to them as negative. On the other hand, you will come across as caring, loving, friendly and considerate if your communications are always positive.

If you communicate negatively with your spouse long enough, he or she will begin to resent you, leading to emotional disconnection between you both. There is no future for any marriage where the partners do not share a strong intimate emotional bonding.

We will then conclude that silence communication is not good. Inadequate communication is not good enough. And negative communication is not good at all.

Your marriage will be negatively affected if you engage in any of the above communications long enough. Therefore, it is better to avoid these kinds of communication that destroy marriages.

What other kinds of communications do you think can destroy a marriage?


©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne