Where on earth is the man I am supposed to marry? I am tired of waiting and I don’t want to make a mistake. I am in my late 20’s slowly approaching 30 soon and would like to settle [down in marriage] within the next one year. My family is putting a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of having to remain sane while waiting for my own [man].
That was from a christian sister expressing her frustrations over her desire to get married but which had not come through.
If you found yourself on this page without having read the first part of the post, please go and read it before you continue with this one. That way, you will have a solid background of the issue in discourse.
Right now, instead of worrying about hooking up with the right man, you concentrate on being the right lady and the right man will find you at the right time.
We will continue from where we stopped by looking at some more advice given to the sister in question by some concerned people. (Again, please read the part one of the post – if you haven’t done so. Thank you).
Let’s us take a look at more advice:
You have painted a picture of the kind of man you are waiting for: a God fearing Man… that’s good. Every woman wants the guy of their dreams to be ready made. But very few are willing to work to make the “man of their dreams.”
Some times, from in the midst of dirt comes true lasting diamonds… Jesus Christ promised a thief paradise at his death – not the best of his disciples, nor the perfect of men, but a “thief”.
Maybe your “man” would not come the way you expect. Just as the way the Israelites expected the Messiah to be born in the palace not in a manger… My dear be open-minded… good Christians are not born, they are made… the most devout of Christians most often times were not born Christians…
What I am saying is that you should keep an open mind and don’t restrict your heart to finding him in your church or among the young pastors in your Church…
God would bring not the best person for you, but the right person for you… please I would advise you [not to] take all relationship decisions to your pastor. Better talk to your parents than your pastor… just my advise o! I’m not saying your pastor is not good in such issues.
You would be fine… live and be happy… don’t let the pressure overwhelm you.
And this one really broke it down:
Stop being too conservative; you said you’re an indoor person. If you keep staying indoors WHO would see you? Come out of the shell and let ‘’the product’’ be seen and heard.
Your appearance matters a lot – you need to look good 24/7 but in a generally accepted way. (Neither too holy looking nor too sinful looking). If you are fat – loose the weight. Most guys (like me) ABHORE FAT GIRLS as wife beacause they look lazy, dirty and sexually unattractive.
Your character too; carrying Bible and going to church everyday DOES NOT MEAN you are good natured. Even satan goes to church these days and calls himself ‘’pastor’’. BE SINCERELY GOOD NATURED. BE OPEN MINDED. BE SIMPLE NATURED.
When a joke is funny laugh – be yourself in a good mannered way. Let people see that you are humble. Be accommodating with ALL classes of people. When you come across ‘’drunkards, party freaks’’ and poor/ christian men, DON’T CARRY YOUR NOSE UP; their brother might just be Mr Perfect or Mr Perfect might just be watching you.
Be perfect in courtesy. Learn to greet anyone/everyone politely. Greeting alone has given thousands of girls husbands.
Be positive minded – imagine good things and smile and pray for them to come.
Let’s conclude with this one who gave her own advice/suggestions by telling her experience with her own sister:
I have an elder sister who will be 30 years next year. She’s unmarried too, and she’s a good christian but she’s very judgemental.
I say it without an iota of doubt that she’s been single this long because of her judgemental nature. And I have noticed that is one thing many self-acclaimed “good christians” have in common.
So if before now you have maintained a self-righteous attitude, madam, I tell you today that you have a long way to go because no one will ever be good enough for you. Please, I will advise you to maintain your virtues as a woman, but embrace the quality of open mindedness.
Learn to relate with people and learn from them instead of judging them before they even come close. People will always have excesses. It’s not yours to write them off, but to live peaceably with all men as much as you can.
By becoming more accommodating and open-minded concerning people, you will understand that we are all different because of our cultures, upbringing, orientation and even religious beliefs and this will help you have a better approach towards people and things.
However, do not mistake my post to mean that I am accusing you decisively of being judgemental or narrow minded. I’m just saying that if you are, please make an attempt to change; it could be holding you back more than you know. I am emphasizing this because I live with someone who is and I know how much it has affected her.
May God direct your path, I can’t say anything outside this because I’m just 21 yrs, very single and I don’t have too much I about all these marriage issues. I will also like to tell you to do something because you want to, not because of pressure [from other people]. That has helped me in a lot of my doings. I leave you with this. May God be your guide.
What would be your advice to a Christian lady waiting for the right man to marry? Let the conservation continue in the comment section.