Now that the Year is Ending…Be Thankful

Be grateful

Now that the year is ending…You might have had many unfulfilled goals. But you have to be grateful for the ones you were able to achieve.

You might have had many unanswered prayers. But the thankful for the ones that were answered.

Even if you still have many questions on your mind, do not give in to despair. Keep searching, answers will come.

At least you are alive. That means your hope is not dead yet. Think about that, and you will have a good reason to be thankful.

You may not be where you wish to be yet, but remember that you are no longer where you used to be.

As you take stock for the passing year, do yourself a favour: Find a reason to be thankful.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

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Echoes From My Heart 3

Inspiration

1. There is a message in the mess you might have found yourself in. Do not miss it.

2. Visit the past to learn from it. But do not settle there.

3. You need to throw up some expectations in order to catch some manifestations. You know what they, “expectation precedes manifestation.”

4. It is no use trying to please everybody. You will never be perfect at doing it.

5. Whatever you do, always try to focus well. By so doing, you will not even notice some distractions.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Echoes From My Heart 1

  1. Give your best to whatever your hands find to do.

  2. Find your purpose in life, pursue it, fulfil it.

  3. Love is the best living environment, create it.

  4. Hatred is toxic, you won’t survive for long living on it.

  5. Someone needs your help, give it.

  6. You will need someone’s help too, ask for it.

  7. The beginning is fine, but the end should be better.

  8. Happiness is inside you, stop looking in the wrong directions.

  9. Have a large heart, you need it to accommodate some people.

  10. Make plans for the future, especially for the hereafter.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

The Spotlight Is On You

Every day, you watch other people do their thing. They get the applause. They get rewarded or awarded…

They are the cynosure of all eyes. No one seems to have  noticed you. And you wonder –

When am I going to be on the centre stage?

The truth is that right now, you are already on the centre stage of life. Believe it!

The Spotlight is on you, now –  whether you realise it or not.

And even if no one seems to be watching you, remember God is watching.

All eyes may not be on you, but God’s eyes are on you

Act well…

This life is your one chance to leave a positive mark. You cannot live it twice.

Make the most of it.

No compromises. Do your best and be your best.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, the spotlight is always on you because God is always watching you.

 

©Copyright 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Should You Always Reckon With Public Opinion?

Public pulse, what people say about you

Public opinion might be a very powerful force but you should not let it shape who you are or what you become in life. In other words, you should live your life independent of public opinion.

You will experience avoidable levels of frustration if you always rely on public opinion to run your life.

I read of a Chinese proverb which says that a wise man makes his own decisions whereas an ignorant man follows public opinion. You have the right to agree or disagree with that statement but I believe there is a point in those words.

There will always be public opinion. But the choice is yours whether or not to follow it.

People will talk about you no matter what you do. So make sure you do the right things so that you will not have cause to be ashamed of yourself later.

Remember the saying “Vox populi, vox Dei” (The voice of the people is the voice of God).  Have you ever given a serious thought to that maxim? Or have you believed it completely simply because it is a popular saying?

Take another look at that philosophy and you will see that it cannot always be correct. The voice of the people most times is not the voice of God. So why let your life be guided by public opinion?

As you probably know, public opinion is not always correct. Much of what constitutes public opinion is born either out of the ignorance of the majority of the public or the deliberate acts of misinformation orchestrated by the people that have the power or the means to do so.

There are people that control or influence public opinion. If you are not one of such people, be sure that public opinion will not always be in your overall best interest.

You will be ruining your life if you completely pattern it after the opinions of the public. That is not to say that there is no time you can learn something from feeling the public pulse. But be sure to know where and when to draw the line.

Public opinion changes frequently. And you can not even change as fast as it does, so why fall for it?

How then should you handle public opinion?

If you know you are in the right just continue being right. Don’t shift ground to the wrong side on the strength of public opinion.

Public opinion may count but doing the right thing should count more for you.

Pursue your purpose in life and firmly resist the temptation to have sleepless nights over what people say about you. Those who live by purpose will not follow public opinion, neither will they be bothered by it. Be one of such people!

Even when public opinion favours you, as it sometimes will, you still have need to ride on its’ tide very carefully, so that you do not get drown by any means.

Those who praise you today will turn against you tomorrow. Thread cautiously.  Whatever you do, do not let public opinion control how you live your life.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Every One Has A Story And Yours Is Not The Worst

Everyone has challenges, yours is not the worst.

You look around you and it appears everyone you see are wearing smiling faces, except you.

That may not always be true, because just like you, the people out there have challenges too.

Therefore, no matter what you face in your life, just remember this: Everyone has a story, and yours is not the worst.

Everyone has challenges



©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

3 Simple Reasons You Should Not Judge Someone

Judge not

Some times you meet someone for the first time and all you feel tempted to do is to judge him or her, without realising that you do not even have the complete information about the person. But how correct can  your judgement be?

Just like you, the other person is not perfect. So what makes you think you are in a perfect place to judge the other person?

Here are 3 simple reasons you should resist the temptation to be judgemental:

1. You do not know where the person is coming from

A man is a product of many things in his life. One of it is his experiences…

How he behaves now is somewhat a reflection of what he has been through in the past. So if you judge him by only what you see now, you are most likely to misjudge him.

2. You do not understand what the person is going through right now

Apart from what a man might have been through in the past, what he is going through right now also affects his disposition to life.

Granted, you may see that he is going through stuff but you will never understand it in and out. So don’t judge him by what you see because there is so much more happening behind the scene that you do not see.

3. You do not know the person’s future.

What you see about any body is not all there is to him or her. So don’t judge him because he or she does not fit into your mould or expectations.

A man may be down today but do not judge him as out. Being a fellow human being, you are grossly limited by your senses. What the future holds for the person may be far beyond what your natural eyes can perceive.

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged” Matthew 7:1-2, NLT.

 

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

20 Simple Idea Topics To Write Open Letters On

Ideas topics to write open letters on

The last post I made here saw me ask the question: Have you ever written an open letter? The following suggestions were given in that post:

“Identify a specific group of people you have never met before to whom you feel you have a word for. Through the avenue of an open letter, send them your words of encouragement, hope, rebuke or advice as the case may be.
If you have an issue you feel you have a strong position for, to which you would like to draw public attention to, why don’t you air your view via an open letter? I assure you it will not go unnoticed.”

In addition to the referenced suggestions, here are some possible idea topics to write open letters on, to get you started:

1. The Families of victims of terrorist attacks.

The recent Manchester and London City terrorist attacks are still very fresh on our minds. One way or another, the reports about these ugly incidents must have filtered into your ears. You do not have to bemoan the situation only in your room. You can reach out by the means of an open letter to the friends and families of the victims of these unfortunate attacks.

Reach out by speaking up against acts of terrorism. Reach out by sending out your love to the survivors of the attacks…

Just reach out. You may not know the victims personally but send their families and friends your words of sympathy, emphathy, condolences, and assurances that justice would be found for their lost loved ones.

2. The victims of the Boko Haram Insurgence in Nigeria.

Many people in the northern part of Nigeria have been severely affected by the rapacious activities of the Boko Haram insurgents. Thousands of people have been rendered homeless, and many children orphaned.

Do you feel like you have some words of encouragement for this sect of endangered humans? The issues of the internally displaced people… whatever you have to say, an open letter can do it for you.

3. Those who are suffering from mental health issues, insomnia, depression etc

If you are a survivor or a therapist on mental health problems, you may take up this one. Share your experiences and suggestions that will help those who are presently having such issues.

Life is already difficult on its own. To suffer any of the mentioned conditions is another huge burden.

Sometimes sufferers may be languishing in their little corner on the false belief that nobody loves or cares about them. And that’s often far from the truth. Your open letter to them could be the love letter that may assuage their pains.

4. Atheists in (your location).

You believe that God exists. That’s great. But as you already know, not everyone that lives in your state or country share that same belief with you.

You may not know such people personally but you are convinced that if you ever meet them, you will have something to say to them or questions to ask them. You can do that via an open letter.

By so doing, you are not forcing them to believe in God (although it would be nice to have them believe). Rather you are bearing an open testimony to them about the fact that God exists whether they believe in Him and the need for them to get to know Him, personally.

5. Widows (and widowers?)

Widows are often neglected in some societies. Are you a widow or some one close enough to know, who wants to draw attention to the pains or frustrations of being a widow? Are there some possible joys (seriously?) in widowhood that you would like to share with the public?

No body will feel the pain of widowhood as much you do. That is to say, you are in a better position to tell your stories like they are. Write an open letter as you deem fit.

6. The president of your country.

You stay in your corner complaining that your president is not doing some things right. Given the chance, you could pass him some good pieces of advice that may help him, you console yourself.

Sorry to disappoint you: your president’s handlers may never come to you for advice. But you can get their attention through an open letter. Irrespective of your country, you can write “an open letter to my president.”

Victor Uyanwanne: 20 Simple Ideas For Writing Open Letters

7. Aspiring bloggers

You have been blogging for a while now, so you know some things new bloggers don’t know. But no aspiring blogger has come to you for guidance.

You do not have to wait for that; you can write an open letter to all aspiring bloggers, giving them insights that can help them in their journey. As I am now, if I could see “An open letter to all bloggers in Africa,” I will read every bit of it.

8. Stay-at-home moms

The idea of being a full time housewife is unthinkable for some people. Yet many women have found it very fulfilling.

What knowledge do you possess​ that can be of assistance to stay-at-home moms, to help them make the most of their status? To all stay-at-home moms, how about writing an open letter highlighting your experiences – fulfilling or frustrating?

How I wish someone will be bold enough to write an open letter to the husbands of stay-at-home moms! You will agree with me that not many a husband truly appreciate the sacrifices and labour of love of their housewives at home.

9. Those preparing for a professional examination

You are a successful professional. To get to where you are right now, you have had to write your profession’s rigourous exams. Congratulations!

But you know what? Many People have been struggling with the same exams for years. Why don’t you write them an open letter sharing some insights on how to pass the exam.

10. Pregnant teenage girls contemplating abortion

This happens alot: when teenagers get pregnant, the next thing many of them would think of will be how to abort the foetus. If many of them knew better, they might not have taken that option.

You can write an open letter to pregnant teenage girls who are contemplating abortion, giving them helpful reasons why they must not abort their unborn children. Who knows, one of them could read your letter and have a positive change of mind.

The Mirror, UK once reported that “Cristiano Ronaldo’s mother has admitted she considered having an abortion when she was pregnant with him.”

Just look at the hugely successful soccer star Ronaldo had become today! The world would have been robbed of this football prodigy had his mum gone ahead to abort his pregnancy. I hope the picture is getting clearer to you now?

11. Child prostitution

As much as we may want to shy away from it, child prostitution is a problem in many parts of the world. The problem can be reduced with greater awareness and sensitisation.

As a victim or survivor of that evil, you can raise public consciousness by writing about it in an open letter. Make it anonymous if you like, but draw attention to the issues, and recommend possible solutions.

12. LGBT Community in America

I know that a lot of stuff exists in the public space on the issue of LGBT rights. I also know that in your own little corner, depending on the foundation of your value system, you have your own opinion on this LGBT discourse.

What exactly is your own position? Are you for or against it? An open letter is a veritable avenue to let us know where you stand on the issue, without fear or favour.

13. Sit-tight Presidents of some countries

In my own opinion, any nation’s president who has spent more than 10 years (or more than two terms) in office is a sit-tight leader. African leaders are particularly guilty of that behaviour.

For such people, you cannot contribute your vote to send them packing if you are not a citizen of their country. But such a limitation cannot prevent you from writing an open letter to such president.

Irrespective of your country of residence, you can air your view in favour or against the sit-tight tendencies of some of these world leaders.

14. Facebook Founder.

Not too long ago, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg was in my country Nigeria, on a working visit. During that visit, some young Nigerians were able to interact with him and got to hear him speak to them face to face. But some of us did not have that rare privilege.

Let’s say you were amongst those that did not get to see Mark Z on one on one basis, but in your heart you feel you have something to say to him for the benefit of the public. Just do “An open letter to the founder of Facebook.” Trust me, it will not take many hours before he or his aids will get wind of the message.

Why you should write an open letter

15. Adult Children who do not care about their parents.

Our aged parents need care and support for the rest of their lives. But more often and not, the children of these sages are now grown, living and working in different parts of the world, with little or no time for their parents back at home.

Even if the aged parents are put in convalescent homes, regular phone calls or visit from their children will make them happier human beings.

If you had the chance to talk to such people who have abandoned their parents, what would you tell them? Please don’t keep silent forever. If I were you, I would use the medium of an open letter to write, “Ten things I would say to adult children that do not care for or support their aged parents.”

May be you are the parent who feels abandoned by your children, you can think of writing “5 things I would like to tell my children who have abandoned me.” Even though your children never call home, such an open letter will get to them wherever they might be. With full disclosure of their identities, they can not escape seeing the letter, not with the power of the internet still holding sway.

16. Immigrants in your country

Immigration is a knotty issue in many developed countries of the world. As a citizen, if you feel you have some contributions to make to the discussions​ on immigration matters in your country, you can write an open letter to the government of the day​.

Similarly, you might have some things you would like to share with the immigrants in your community to foster harmonious relationship amongst them and citizens. It would be impracticable to go to them one by one to pass your advise across. But you can write an open letter in a local medium to that effect.

17. Your future Spouse

You have hopes of getting married some day. Right now, you do not know who your future partner would be. But it doesn’t stop you from thinking about him or her every morning as you wake up.

Long before I got married, I can recall writing down “Three things I expect from my wife.” I never got to publish it, but I had the privilege of showing it to my then-would-be wife when we eventually met. If it were now, I would not have missed publishing it on my blog.

Why don’t you articulate your expectations (or your fears) in an open letter? What you are feeling in your heart for your future spouse will make an interesting read for the young people out there.

18. The good friend you’ve lost contact with

Thanks to the power of social media, many of us have reconnected with our friends from the past that we have not been in contact with for multiple of years gone by. There might still be someone from your past that you would like to renew your relationship with, but you have had no way of contacting him.

Try writing an open letter giving the necessary details about the friend. The feedback might surprise you.

19. Those who want to publish a book

It is the dream of many people to publish a book in their names before they leave this world. But many of such people do not yet have a handle on what to do.

As an experienced publisher you can write an open letter to aspiring first time publishers. I am sure your ideas will prove invaluable to them.

20. Be the one to add this one…

What would you like to centre your open letter on, apart from the area’s I covered in the post? Please share your comments…

P.S. If you decide to write an open letter on your blog following this article, kindly link this post to it to enable my readers and I join in the conversations too.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Have You Ever Written An Open Letter?

Have you ever written an open letter about anything to anybody or group of people? If your answer is “yes” I would be glad to have you share your experience with us here. But if your answer is “no,” I will suggest you give it a try. The experience may be worthwhile for you.

As I read the first epistle of Peter recently, I came to realise something I considered new to me: Peter wrote the letter to people he had never met before:

Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, 1Peter 1:1.

Although Peter stated the locations of the target àudience of his letter, the fact that he called them strangers indicates that he had no previous personal acquaintances with them. Yet he had to write to them to pass across the messages he had for them. In a sense, you can say that Peter wrote those people an open letter.

Have you ever felt that you have something to say to somebody, some group of people, an advice to give, a commendation to offer, a correction or rebuke to hand down, but never got to do it till now? Is there a silent issue you want to draw public attention to?

Whatever you know you could tell someone if given the opportunity, but the opportunity never came, (and you want public awareness on that issue?) you can pass the same message across via an open letter. You will be shocked to know that the message will get across faster than you ever imagined.

In the context of this discussion, you do not have to worry if your open letter does not get published in mainstream media. Your WordPress account is a sufficient platform for you to publish it. So publish it on your blog.

I can recall trying out something like that here on this blog. There was a time I began to feel that I had a message for atheists – those who do not believe that God exists. The message was nothing new really except that I put the words together after an innocous realisation that I had never physically met an atheist before.

God loves everybody including Atheists

Our experiences may differ; I grew up in an environment where everyone believes – mentally at least – that God exists. Therefore, for me and many other people then, it had never been a question of whether God exists or not. We all agreed that God exists; we only differed on the approach to Him.

However, as I began to face the larger world, it baffled me to hear some people claim that they do not believe God exists. They deny any and everything that suggest the possibility of the existence of God.

Therefore, in my own little attempt to reachout to the unknown atheists, I published the post, To those who say there is no God. The response was relatively massive, affording me the opportunity of having some online engagements with many of the atheists that responded.

Even though I could not force anyone to believe in God, the fact that my message got across to the target audience was very fulfilling to me. So in expanding the discussion, I followed up with 16 sobering things every atheist should know. That post too was very successful, further deepening my online conversations with the atheists.

Why don’t you try something similar?

Identify a specific group of people you have never met before to whom you feel you have a word for. Through the avenue of an open letter, send them your words of encouragement, hope, rebuke or advice as the case may be.

If you have an issue you feel you have a strong position for, to which you would like to draw public attention to, why don’t you air your view via an open letter? I assure you it will not go unnoticed.

Let the conversation begin…

Still Ahead: 20 Idea Topics for Open Letters.

P.S. If you decide to write an open letter following this post, kindly link to it to enable me and other readers join in the Conversations on your blog too.


©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

The Only Book That May Never Be Read

The need to write a book.

I believe that books are some of the most wonderful things on earth. And reading them is one of the most productive use of time ever – far better than sitting in front of the television for hours.

As you know, to read a book it has to be written first. Thanks to everyone who has written some thing and made it available for reading.

Writers are awesome people. They impact our worlds and experiences in greater ways than may be imagined. You too can make your own contribution to the writing experience.

When it comes to writing, there is always room for more participants. If you are not already a full fledged writer, you should accept you are a potential one; You have the potential in you. Develop it by putting it to use.

To be a writer you have to write. You might not be the best yet, but you have to start from somewhere – where you are right now.

Great writers became great by writing. And so can you…

Explore your sense of imagination… Write down your thoughts as they filter into your mind. Share your unique (or not so unique) experiences in life by putting pen to paper or hands on your keyboard.

Just write…

Writing is what writers do. So why are you not writing? Do not worry if you will have readers or not. Do the writing first, readers will come along.

The best time to get started with it is now. The world is waiting for you; you should not be waiting for the world.

That book idea you have in your mind, put flesh to it and make it a physical reality. What’s the use of a book that never got written?

Whatever you write and made available will be read by someone. The only book that may never be read is the one you failed to write.

Share your views.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

So You Are A Life Coach?

Are you a life coach?
What does a life coach do?

Just like everyone else, I have encountered many kinds of coaches in my lifetime. And they come in different colours and shades towards a given end.

I am sure you remember your math coach, dance coach, music coach, swimming coach, basketball coach, football coach, chess coach, business coach and any other kind of coach you might have come across in your life.

As far as I know, people who answer to any of the coaches above possess some identifiable, specific, special skills and experiences with which they impart other people who learn from them.

I do understand those ones…But I am a bit curious about those who call themselves a life coach. Those are the people this post seeks to understand better.

A life coach!

So you are a life coach? That sounds too enormous a title to me, and I am making some efforts to wrap my mind around it. That’s why I am asking these questions.

Are you a life coach? Can anyone, including you, fill that shoe properly?

Coaches are experts in something. Are you an expert in life? Have you mastered all about life itself in all areas to qualify as a life coach?

Can you give impeccably useful direction, guidance, instruction, training, support, to anyone and everyone in life that comes to you for help? Do you have the global picture?

Life coach…

Are you really comfortable using that term to refer to who you are and what you do? Can you let me into your world please?

Just how did you come about being refered to as a life coach? Is it a divine calling or a training, or both?

So you are a life coach, or is it just a nomenclature? Are you well rounded in all areas of life? Or shouldn’t you be?

Who certified you as a life coach? Is it God? If it is not Him, then who is the mortal that can take up that responsibility?

Speak to me! What exactly do you mean when you call yourself a life coach? I ask because I do not want to misunderstand you anymore.

You are a life coach? Is that not what they call you? Or am I the one that did not hear well?

Have you known, seen, experienced and understood life in all its ramifications? Have you been to the highest heights or descended to the lowest depths, and covered all the breadths of life?

Please don’t say I am pushing it too hard on you. I am not… I just want to know about you.

Can you help people in all areas of their lives? Can you meet people’s needs at the “spirit, soul and body” levels?

Can you excellently direct people in business, in politics, in religious, in sports, in health, in education, in entertainment, in aviation, in construction, in computing, in communication, in relationships, etc? Doesn’t being a life coach entail all of the above?

I just don’t understand you when you say you are a life coach. Should I say you might be a coach in an aspect of life and not life as a whole?

May be you should come to my aid and explain to me exactly what you mean when you say you are a life coach.

I am waiting…

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

What Is Your Greatest Joy In Life?

Reason to glory on earth
Greatest joy in life

What is your greatest joy in life? Would you mind giving an honest answer to that question right now?

Before you continue reading this article, pause for a moment. And with your eyes closed, ponder a bit on the above question.

Once you have come up with an answer you are convinced about, hold it up against the brilliant light of the Scripture quoted below. (The purpose of doing that is to ensure that what you hold as your greatest joy on earth properly aligns with what God says should be your greatest joy).

Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches:

But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.
Jeremiah 9:23-24.

From the above passage of the Scriptures, you can see at least three reasons to glory in life:

  • Intelligence – The wise man glories in his wisdom;
  • Strength – The mighty one glories in his might;
  • Wealth – The rich man glories in his riches.

But God wants the reason for your joy to be beyond the fact that you possess some high level of wisdom, intellectual power, physical strength, wealth or achievements in life.

He wants you to rejoice in the fact that you know Him as “the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth.”

If your greatest joy is based on the things of the world, then your joy will be temporary. But a joy based on your knowing God will have no ending.

I first began to perceive the truths of Jeremiah 9:23-24 at a crucial point in time during my undergraduate days.

One mid-morning like that while reading my Bible, the scripture quoted above literally leapt off the pages of the Bible right into my heart with a force so meaningful that I was left without any iota of doubt on the fundamental reason I should glory in life.

I was doing relatively well in school then, despite the harsh academic environment of that time. My grades were moving up against all odds. I thought that was a good reason to praise God.

“Yes, it was,” you might want to agree with me. But God had to put things in better perspectives for me. He graciously showed me that there was a greater reason I had to rejoice than academic progress.

Now I know better… so I am sharing it with you, with the hope that you will see some light in it too.

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, your greatest joy in life should not be based on the fact that you passed your exams, you got promoted at work, you bought a dream car, moved into your dream home, married your dream spouse, or had some other great goals you have accomplished.

Those are not bad reasons to be joyful. But your joy has to be based on something of eternal significance and not on things of ephemeral value. It has to be based on your relationship with God, not on things of the world.

For emphasis sake, l will have to say it again:

  • Your greatest joy should be that you know the Lord.
  • Your greatest joy should be the joy of your salvation.
  • Your greatest joy should be that your name is written in the Book of Life.

Jesus validated this position during one of the feedback conversations He had with His disciples as recorded in the Gospels.

According to the account in Luke chapter 10, Jesus had sent out seventy-two of His followers to go preach the gospel of the Kingdom around the neighbouring towns and villages. These specially appointed men went out and accomplished the evangelistic mandate given to them by their Master.

More so, they returned with joyful testimonies, declaring that demons were subjected to them in the name of Jesus.

The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

You would have thought that the identified reason these rookie evangelists were filled with joy was good enough for them to rejoice as they did. But Jesus raised the bar when He responded to them saying, “…do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

“That your name is written in Heaven should be your greatest joy,” Jesus says.

Therefore, whatever you are able to accomplish on earth – whether in spiritual or secular things – should not be your greatest joy. Neither should your joy be in what this world can offer you. Rather your greatest joy should be that your name is written in the book of life in Heaven.

If you are not sure your name is there already in the book of life, you can get it in by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour now. There is no other way to achieve that.

What is your greatest joy in life? Share your views.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Learn, Always Learn 2

Learn, always learn by Victor Uyanwanne
Things to learn from 2

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your friends.
Learn from your enemies.
Learn from everyone in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your failures.
Learn from your Successes.
Learn from the processes in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from those who rejoice.
Learn from those who mourn.
Learn from other people in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from those who celebrate you.
Learn from those who criticise you.
Learn from the indifferent ones in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn when on the mountain top.
Learn when in the valley below.
Learn when anywhere in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your weakness.
Learn from your strength.
Learn from anything in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from males and females.
Learn from babies and adults.
Learn from everyone in-between.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Learn, Always Learn!

Learn, always learn.
Things to learn from

Learn, always learn.
Learn from people.
Learn from things.
Learn from books.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from places.
Learn from events.
Learn from history.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from nature.
Learn from animals.
Learn from all creatures.

Learn, always learn
Learn from every experience.
Learn from the good or the bad.
Learn, everytime, everywhere.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

6 Simple Reasons You Should Be Doing What You Love

Following your passion

It is a brand new year. A new beginning. How about spending the whole year following your passion or doing what you love? It is not impossible to do so! And this post will show you why.

I was going through a blog recently when I  came across what I would consider a brutally honest statement that got me thinking deeply. “I have never done anything that I truly loved, except for mommyhood,” said the author of that blog.

The curious part to me is that the author said she possesses three academic degrees. So I took it that her statement quoted above couldn’t have been because she didn’t have any good opportunities at all. But rather because, she probably had not found one that sufficiently fit her love and passion at the “right price.”

“As far as getting paid to do something [is concerned],” she explained, “it has been hard to find a truly good fit for me.” While pondering on the issue, it didn’t take too long for me to see that many people have been caught up in the same job quagmire – against their innermost desires.

If you are one of such persons, maybe it’s time to have a rethink! By that I mean, it is either you find a way to love what you do, or you find what you love and begin to do it.

If you are for the latter option, then make a change! Take the risk…Branch out!  Or how long are you going to continue doing what you don’t love?

“As long as it pays my bills,” you might want to say. That’s a familiar answer, I know. But if that matters to you more than self-actualisation or personal fulfilment, then the choice is entirely yours to maintain the status quo. Nothing more to worry about!

In that case, you may want to take my first suggestion: find a way to love what you do. But there are people who will argue that it is better to follow your passion than being stuck in a job you don’t like just because of the economic reward it offers – money!

But then, the question will be, “Is making good money and following your passion mutually exclusive in the long run?” Maybe not…

But who says you can’t possibly find a job that you love that pays your bills too? Who says more money will not follow you if you follow your passion?

Why then are you feeling stuck doing the job you don’t love? Could it be because you are afraid of making the necessary changes in your personal goals? Or is it that you don’t want to leave your comfort zone? Or vacate certainty for uncertainty?

Overall, it could be very frustrating spending your valuable time (life) doing what you hate. On the other hand, doing what you love in the long run can:

1. Make you happier in life;

2. Boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm at the job;

3. Bring you some level of personal fulfilment you might not find doing something else;

4. Mean less frustration  for you on the job;

5. Enable you to make more impact in your sphere of influence; and hopefully,

6. Bring you more reward (financial and/or otherwise).

Are you already doing what you love? And are you getting paid handsomely for doing it? I believe that’s what the author I cited earlier was angling for.

You too should get to the point of doing what you love and making money through it as well. It is possible. That’s where the ultimate fun and fulfilment are.

If you are already there, please enjoy it and don’t forget to share your story so that millions of people out there can learn from you. But it has to be said that everything is not about doing what you love and making much money through it. Adding value to people’s lives also matters.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. Share yours in the comment section.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Simple Ways A Christian Youth Can Build His or Her Self Confidence

the righteous are as bold as a lion.

Every body needs to have self-confidence – that “feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.” Not much progress can be made by a life ravaged by self-doubt, especially if you are a young person.

Earlier in the year, I had the privilege of being invited to speak to a group of Christian youths. The talk centred on building self-confidence as a Christian youth. This post presents an excerpt from the things I shared with those beautiful young minds.

5 simple ways you can consistently build up your self-confidence.

1. Live righteously

As a Christian youth, don’t be a law-breaker. Live righteously and you will have no course to bury your head in shame. Provide 28:1 tells us that “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.”

There is a kind of self-confidence that comes from living a righteous life that you can’t get by any other means. In other words, living righteously makes you bold.  You cannot afford to live your life anyhow. The word of God should be your ultimate guide in life.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. Psalm 119:9.

Obedience to the word of God will help you build your self-esteem. David boldly said, “… I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands,” Psalm 119:6.

2. Have a good image about yourself.

As a Christian youth, how do you see yourself? How you see yourself will affect your level of confidence.

Remember that you are a son or a daughter of the most-high God. Do not harbour thoughts that undermine this lofty position of yours.

You know what the Bible says: As a man thinks in his heart, so is he  (Prov. 23:7). We can paraphrase this to read, “As a youth thinks in his heart so is he.”

When it comes to building your self-confidence as a Christian youth, it matters how you see yourself. If you see yourself as a nonentity, you will carry yourself as one. If you see yourself as a beloved child of God, you naturally feel that way.

You should have a positive image of who you are. If you always think negatively about yourself, your self-esteem will be low and your confidence level will be low too.

Focus on who you are in Christ. That’s your most important identity. Don’t let anything else define you. Irrespective of your socioeconomic status, remember that Christ in you is the hope of glory.

3. Dress well

As a Christian youth, you can’t feel confident about yourself dressing in a sloppy way. Let your dressing be always on point and you will have one more reason to feel confident. As the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa once advised, “Dress the way you want to be addressed.”

You don’t have to dress outlandishly to prove a point. Dress neatly and smartly. Even the Bible says, “wash your clothes,” (Numb 21:24), so personal cleanliness should be taken seriously.

4. Be very good at what you do.

This is a challenge to be excellent in whatever you do. Excel in your studies, in your career or vocation. Whatever your hands find to do as a Christian youth, do them well. Don’t find an excuse to be lazy or be mediocre.

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean [men]. Proverbs 22:29

You have what it takes to excel in life.  The Spirit of God is in you. The wisdom of God is accessible to you. The power of God is available to you.

5. Be knowledgeable.

The wheel of progress is largely driven by knowledge. As a Christian youth in this information age, do not be left behind in the quest for relevant knowledge.

Know your scriptures and know more than the scriptures too. Whether it is history or sciences, know more than the average person. Refuse to be a pushover…

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2Timothy 2:15.

As much as you can, gather knowledge; read voraciously, study widely, research deeply and attend relevant seminars. Do everything within your power to be knowledgeable in at least one or two areas of endeavour.

Always be in the know. You have heard that knowledge is power. Knowledge gives you an edge. Let me add that knowledge boosts confidence too.

How else can a Christian youth build self-confidence? Please share and leave a comment.

 

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

​3 Things You Do That Show What Matters To You.

3 things you do that show what matter to you

You will often do what matters to you. In other words, the traceable patterns of what you do over a long period of time paint a vivid picture of your most dominant inner inclinations.

Let me share with you three simple things you do that show what you consider important to you.

1. What you spend your time on.

What you regularly spend your time on indicates what interests you or matters more to you. Where you often spend your time tells alot about where your heart is. How you spend your time demonstrates something about your dominant passion.

You can’t control time but you can control what you use it for. You can use your time to your advantage or to your disadvantage.

You use it to advantage if you use it on things you value. Because time is not available to you in unlimited quantity, it is imperative that you use it wisely. One of the best ways of doing that is to use your time for things that matter in the long run.

Take a proper look at the things you spend your time doing. Ask yourself, “Are they really worth it?” If not, then you will have to make some changes that will involve reordering your priorities.

2. What you spend your money on.

You will not spend your hard-earned money on sh*t except you value it. Just like time, you do not have unlimited amount of money. Therefore, you will often want to spend your money on the things that give you the most value. (Of course, I assume you are a wise spender).

Even if I don’t know you before, if you show me your bank statement and/or your expense records, it will not take long for me to figure out the things that matter to you. Except you spend your money under duress, most often than not, your expenses will flow in the same direction as your interests and aspirations. In order words, what you spend money on often is an indication of what matters to you.

Now is the time to review your expense records to see if you have been spending money on things that do not matter to you. You know what to do after the check!

3. The company you keep.

Just like everyone else, you like to be in the company of the people you love and people that love you  or people that share your values. As they say,  “Birds of a feather always flock together.

Only a few people will consistently hang out with the wrong crowd. If you are in any crowd, it should not take long to figure out whether you are a ‘misfit’ or not. This realisation will either prompt you to blend in or to retrace your steps.

The people you are willing and glad to hang out with are pointers to your interests and aspirations. If you have interest in music, I will not be surprised to see you hang around ‘musical’ people both online and physically. I often find myself ‘following’ bloggers and other writers because of interest.

Are the people you hang out with leading you in the direction of your goals? If your answer is ‘no’, then you are in the wrong company.

Conclusion

What you frequently spend your money on, what you regularly do with your time and the kind of company you keep are good indicators of what matters to you. You may want to retrace your steps if you find that where you are presently on these three patterns do not represent your long term values or objectives.

What do you think?

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

You Are Not Too Old To Be Happy

Nobody is too old to be happy, Victor Uyanwanne

No matter who or how old you are
Know that you are surely a shining star.
No matter what you have been told.
Be happy, you are not yet too old.

Do not let your perceived old age
Make you feel like a bird in a cage.
That you have been around for a while
Is enough reason to make you smile.

You have seen many life’s seasons
That have given you multiple reasons
Which we see have made you wise
In yours, and in our youthful eyes.

Try and forget the pain of yester years
And your many treacherous days of tears.
Rejoice in the moments you have and now.
Please find out if you don’t know how.

To you Facebook may look like magic.
Without it doesn’t mean your life is tragic.
Even if all you ever knew was a real ‘picture book’.
Smile as your grandsons splash your pictures on Facebook.

You may not have known how to tweet
But hasn’t your life been very sweet?
Even if yours hasn’t been a life of ease
Be you not bitter to your grave, please.

Before you ultimately return to your Maker.
Or become an item for the undertaker
Endeavour to heal all known sores.
And seek not to settle old scores.

It is true you have come of age.
But don’t quit being happy at this stage.
Even though your journey has been bumpy
You are never too old to be happy.

 

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

Beautiful and Talented: Who, Me?

Talented, beautiful, handsome

If you are asked to mention #talented people, don’t count yourself out.

If you are asked to mention #beautiful / #handsome people, don’t count yourself out.

You are beautiful / handsome and you are talented .

You may not feel like it sometimes, but you are still talented.

You may not feel like it all the time, but you are still beautiful / handsome.

No matter who you are and where you are from, take it from me: You are beautiful / handsome and talented!

I know this because I know you were fearfully and wonderfully made.

Have you ever had that feeling of not being talented or  beautiful / handsome enough? How did you handle it?
©2016 CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

2 Missing Treasures Found in The Midst of Chaos

Lost but Found

It’s been my desire to build a private library in my bedroom for a while now. To that effect, I have been acquiring scores of books covering many areas of interest such as leadership, productivity, parenting, character and talent development, faith, prayer, prosperity, evangelism, business, public speaking, and so on.

But as I am yet to build the appropriate shelf to arrange the books away as nicely as they should be, I have them temporarily stacked up on an average sized table placed at a far corner of my bedroom.

From there I can always take any book to read as often as I am able to do so. One obvious constraint I have with this arrangement is that the retrieval of any specific book is always difficult.

Most often than not, the title I want to read is always tucked in the middle of the others, or so it seems. Therefore, I always have to scatter a few others in order to get to the one I want.

This was the situation I found myself during the penultimate week of June 2016. I had scurried through the stack to fish out a nice book to read during the few days I took off work. In the process, I had inadvertently strewn a few other unneeded books here and there on the floor around the table, with the hope that I would rearrange them back later.

Little did I know that this was a sufficient invitation for my energetic 2 and 4-year old boys to help do further unsolicited scattering. I came back to the room several hours later only to find all the books scattered everywhere on the floor. Instead of the usual stack, what I saw was an empty table with all the books sprung everywhere on the floor.

I stood there dumbfounded. “What type of chaos is this?” I asked myself, without expecting any meaningful explanation from the two toddlers who obviously had a nice time scattering the books on the carpeted floor.

I quickly drove them out of the room and called my wife to see what these boys had done in the bedroom. She too could not believe her sight….

Chaotic mess of books

I was obviously not happy with the chaotic situation I met on the bedroom floor. But I would not ‘kill’ the children for it. I simply abandoned the room partly for a few days… I had more important things to do… It wasn’t until the third day before I returned to arrange the books back on the temporary ‘shelf’. And it took me almost three hours to get the job neatly done.

But I discovered to my utmost surprise that I had tremendous fun doing it. I skimmed through all the titles and had the books sorted according to their authors (I read authors as much as I read titles). In the end, I had all the books back and stacked neatly on the table till when the proper bookshelf would be provided.

Here was the most interesting part of the exercise of bringing order out of the chaos: I found two precious items that made me so grateful.

One was a diary I had kept about 8 years ago, which I didn’t know its whereabouts. As I flipped through its pages, I found poems, songs and other thoughts I had personally written down previously, which I had never shared with anyone. I came to realise that many of them would be suitable for posts on this blog in the weeks to come. Honestly, it will be my joy to share them with you.

The second thing I found was the last updated manuscript of a book I had written over 10 years ago which I am yet to publish. Our home computer then had crashed and unfortunately I couldn’t  recover the soft copy. So the surviving print out meant everything to me. But I couldn’t trace it until that day, due to a change in our accommodation then.

All I had before I found this one was an older version of the manuscript. Now I am grateful that I can now revisit the newest version, have it reviewed again and then hopefully have it published someday.

Although I was initially annoyed that my children scattered my books into a chaotic mess, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. And out of what I perceived to be a disorderly situation, I found two treasures I thought I had previously lost. All things worked out together for my good, I might say!

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Please leave a word or two in the comment section.

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

6 Simple Reasons To Forgive Offences

Benefits of forgiveness

Everyone needs forgiveness.  On the other hand, everyone needs to offer forgiveness too. And as you well know,  ‘everyone’ here includes you!

“If there is no offence, there will be no forgiveness,” they say. And if someone offends you, you have the choice to either forgive or hold a grudge. Either way, there is always at least a benefit or a consequence.

Giving forgiveness to your offender may not be easy, but it is worth your while to extend it wherever it is needed.  Other wise, you would be shooting yourself in the leg if you hold on to the offence, without forgiving.

Here are 5 simple reasons you should learn to forgive others and let go of that vengeful feeling you may have against anyone who offended you:

  1. God has forgiven your offences and He expects you to forgive others too.

We have all fallen below God’s standards. But by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, He is no longer holding our sins against us; we have been forgiven.

By the same token, you should no longer hold anyone’s offence against them: forgive them! It is more beneficial to give forgiveness than to hold it back.

  1. Unforgiveness is a big weight, free yourself from it.

Some offences against you may appear too terrible and hard to forgive. But guess who suffers more when you refuse to forgive others? You! That’s right, you!

I once heard someone say that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting another person to be hurt by it. That’s absurd. Isn’t it?

You may choose to disagree with me but it is in your best interest to forgive anyone that offends you. The burden is too heavy to bear if you don’t forgive.

  1. Don’t you expect others to forgive you too?

No one is perfect – and that includes you! It is self-deception to think that you have never needed or will ever need forgiveness from anyone.

Meaning that if you ever expect to be forgiven when you do wrong to others, (which I know you will, because you are still human), then you must show the same gesture to others who wronged  or offended you.

  1. Happiness and unforgiveness don’t mix.

Personal happiness is one of the most pursued goals in life. But a heart that refuses to forgive will never find true personal happiness and fulfillment; You reduce your chances of finding happiness if you deliberately fail to show forgiveness to others.

Offering forgiveness is a veritable avenue to let off some toxins impeding your emotional health. Just as tobacco smoking is injurious to your health so is unforgiveness unhealthy for your emotional well-being.

I AM FORGIVEN

  1. You have the capacity to forgive, no need pretending otherwise. 

“I am unable to forgive,” you might say. That’s not true my dear. No matter how deeply you might have been hurt, you can still forgive if you chose to do so.

It is even easier if you allow God to work through, and in, you. By the power of forgiveness God has put in you, you can forgive any offence against you.

Use that power of love that is already in you to forgive others their offences. You will be happier for it.

  1. Forgive yourself to be able to forgive others.

Forgiving others entails forgiving yourself. If you can’t forgive yourself, neither will you be able to extent forgiveness to other people.

Do you love yourself? Then you must forgive yourself so that you can forgive others or even receive forgiveness  from other people too.

 

Is there any offence against you that you are yet to forgive? You would continue to be hurt if you choose not to forgive. But you will enjoy a sense of release and peace if you will decide to forgive that offence today. It might be a tough decision but you can take it.

Those who say revenge is sweet have not tasted the power of forgiveness. Has  giving or receiving forgiveness ever benefited you? Please leave a comment.

 

 

©CopyRight 2016| Victor Uyanwanne

6 Startling Questions I Would Love To Ask You

Written by Victor Uyanwanne

talent, book, spirual

Have you ever asked yourself some serious questions? Has anyone ever dared to ask you any question that unnerved you? Are you making the best sense of your life now?

Are you satisfied with the status quo you found yourself in? Can the answers you get by asking yourself some unusual questions help improve your lot in life? Has any question ever challenged you to seeking better ways of leading a happier, healthier and even wealthier life?

You will agree with me that asking appropriate questions is good. That is exactly what I felt like doing in this post: ask you a few surprising questions.

You are free to ask your own questions as well. But first please spare a few minutes more and read to the end of this discourse. Then you can release your own repertoire of questions: to me, to yourself and to any other person you deem fit.

That’s why we are here: to inspire one another to live a better and happier life.

I will begin by holding up my own end; I am going to ask you a few fundamental questions. You don’t owe me any answers. But you do owe it to yourself to sincerely resolve the questions I am putting across in this post.

Here are 6 startling questions I would like to ask you. I hope that the answer you will give to at least one of them will spur you to living a more meaningful life:

1. Do you know the purpose of your existence in life?

You are not in this world for nothing. Just as everything in life exists for a purpose, you were created for a purpose.

The greatest joy in life comes from doing what you were created to do. Your greatest value to humanity is embedded in fulfilling your life’s purpose. Therein also lies your greatest eternal reward.

Your reward doesn’t come from running other people’s races, but in running yours. If you want to hear the Master say, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” you must be sure to find out what the Master wants you to do in your lifetime and seek to get it done.

2. Are you satisfied with where you are in life right now?

If you are not, are you doing anything to change your position? Remember that popular cliche, “You can achieve anything you set your mind on.” That’s something to think about!

No matter where you are or have achieved, there is still room for more.

  • You desire spiritual growth? Work at it.
  • You want a fitter body? Be given to regular physical exercise and mind your diet as well.
  • You feel ignorant in some fields? Take up reading in those areas.
  • You desire to have quality time with your family? Create it.

The point here is that, if you are not satisfied with where you are, do something to improve on it.

Biography

3. What talent do you have that you haven’t really explored yet?

It is generally believed that most people never fully harness all their potentials in their lifetime. But you can be a different statistic.

Look at yourself very well and also elicit the opinions of friends and family. You will come up with an idea of any latent talent you have that you can further explore.

I have been involved in other professions for most of my working life. Now I am beginning to exploring my writing skills. That was what gave birth to this blog. You would probably not have known that I existed if not for this step.

My humble advice would be for you to find out what talent you have that you have not really explored. Begin to use it and be a blessing to the world around you and afar off.

4. Are you regularly doing the same thing in the same way while expecting a different result?

That, we are told, is another definition of insanity. I once heard a popular American international televangelist say, “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got”.

That’s simple, isn’t it? Like they say in elementary computing, “garbage in garbage out.” So if you want a different result, do things differently. You might be surprised at what you will get.

Take a different route to the destination you have always visited. At least the different scenery you will see along the new route will be a needed fresh breath.

5. Have you ever considered writing a book?

You should be doing that if you haven’t done it by now. One of my greatest desires in life is to write books that will positively impact peoples’ lives. You shouldn’t leave this world without at least one book to your name.

When your life passes away your voice will cease. But through your books, you could still be speaking from the grave. If nothing else, the world could use your (auto)biography. There are unique things about your life history and experiences that posterity will learn from.

No one can tell your story like you would do. Write a book, tell the world your story.

6. Are you one of those who believe that there is no God?

If yes, be aware that you have believed a lie that has an eternal consequence if not remedied. I will be frank with you on this: God exists whether you believe it or not. The earlier you can find out about Him for yourself the better for you both in time and in eternity.

God exists

Permit me to use this medium to tell you that right now God is calling you into a relationship with Him through His only Son Jesus Christ. Forget about what you were told, dismantle your previous mindset on this and seek God yourself with an open mind. Give Jesus an invitation into your heart and I can assure you He will honor it.

Where you touched by any of the above questions? What are the answers you have for any of the questions, or do you feel like asking more questions? Let’s share with one another.

©Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

16 Powerful Benefits of Asking Questions You Should Know

Written by Victor Uyanwanne

16 powerful benefits of asking questions

Leaders ask questions. Followers too need to ask the right questions to move ahead.

Whoever you are, everyone should develop the habit of asking the right questions. Whatever position or occupation you may find yourself in, there are appropriate questions you should ask to get the clearest pictures of things or about people.

The essence of asking questions is to get answers. If you don’t have the answers you need, then you should ask the questions you have. There are some things you may never know or understand, except you ask the right questions.

Let me ask you: Are you ashamed or afraid to ask questions? You shouldn’t be!

A Chinese proverb I came across reads: He who asks questions remains a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask questions remains a fool forever.

There are many things you stand to gain if you will dare to ask the right questions.

Here are 16 powerful benefits of asking questions you should know:

  1. Assists to clarify your thoughts – Asking questions will help you to clarify your thoughts and those of others too. If someone says something to you and you don’t understand it, it is more honourable to ask questions for more clarifications than to make unsafe assumptions.
  1. Helps to elicit interest from your audience – Don’t you know a few people who won’t talk to you until you ask them questions? You can use questions to break the ice! On many occasions, I have used questions to start conversations with people I met for the first time. It works with me!
  1. Demonstrates your interest in other people/things – who/what you ask questions about reveals whom/what you are interested in. The questions you ask reveal what matters to you. The questions you don’t ask but you should ask also communicate some things about you.
  1. Clears or reduces your doubts – You can sometimes deal with your suspicions and doubts by asking the right questions. If you get the right answers to your questions, they will either dispel or validate your doubts.
  1. Improves your knowledge – Naturally, questions can be used in the quest for knowledge. What you don’t know that you should have known is probably what you haven’t asked about. You can ask Google if you are afraid to ask people.
  1. Enhances your understanding – If you don’t understand something, ask questions until you grasp it well enough. I used to have a very funny teacher that would tell the class: If you don’t ask any question, that means you understood everything I thought you today. Otherwise, ask now!
  1. Enhances your communication skills – communication is not complete until there is an understanding and feedback. Asking relevant questions will help you to achieve better understanding of any subject matter in discourse.
  1. Enhances trust – Asking the right questions and getting appropriate responses may promote good communication and friendly communication builds trust. You need trust to build any meaningful relationships.

Are you asking the right questions?

  1. Helps you to solidify relationships – As trust level increases through the good answers you get to your questions, the cord of good relationship toughens.
  1. Tool for sifting information – Asking the right questions helps you separate relevant information from irrelevant ones. Not all information you get are useable. You can use questions to separate the grains from the chaff.
  1. Promotes better decision making – Good information is the heart of a good decision making process. The answers you get from asking questions will affect the quality of the decisions you make.
  1. Saves time and other resources. Have you ever tried to locate something or some place on your own for hours without finding it? And then you decided to ask someone about it and you got immediate help that showed you what you were looking for? Imagine the amount of time you would have saved if you had asked the question ab ni tio!
  1. Removes or reduces prejudices – If you ask the right questions and you get the right answers, you will soon get to discover that there is no need to hang on to some previously held misconceptions about some things and especially about some people.
  1. Promotes personal confidence – Believe it or not, your ability to ask the right questions is a kind of pointer to your level of confidence. Confident people ask questions. Don’t wait to boost your confidence before you begin to ask questions. Boost your level of confidence by asking questions.
  1. Clarifies direction – “He who asks questions never misses his way,” so says an African proverb. If you don’t know where you are going, ask questions to get the needed direction.
  1. Enhances your personal effectiveness – Knowing what to do and achieving results thereon could partly be a function of the questions you ask and the answers you get. What you don’t know, ask! Once you know, act!

Have you ever gained any benefits from asking questions? Please share your experience in the comment section.

P.S. Adapted from a previous post on this blog: YOU NEED TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, THIS IS WHY

Who Should You Blame When You Are Unhappy?


YOUR HAPPINESS

 

 

 

 

When you feel unhappy, are you ever tempted to blame someone else for it? Well, it happens…

But it doesn’t make it right.

How would you feel if someone else blamed you for his/her unhappiness? Your happiness is in your hands.

So…..

1.      If you are not happy as an employee, don’t blame it on your employer.

2.      If you are not happy as a citizen of your country, don’t blame it on your Government.

3.      If you are not happy as a teacher, don’t blame it on your students.

4.      If you are not happy as a student, don’t blame it on your teacher.

5.      If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse.

6.      If you are not happy as a child, don’t blame it on your parents.

7.      If you are not happy as a parent, don’t blame it on your children.

8.      If you are not happy as a player, don’t blame it on your coach.

9.      If you are not happy as a team member, don’t blame it on your other team members.

10.  If you are not happy as a pastor, don’t blame it on your congregation.

11.  If you are not happy as a member of your congregation, don’t blame it on your pastor.

12.  Most importantly if you are not happy with your life, don’t blame it on God.

 

Have you ever been tempted to blame someone else when unhappy? How did you handle it? Please share a word….

 

Excerpt from a previous post  “WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

 

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Written By Victor Uyanwanne

Negative thinking stifles creative energy

“Happy new year” to you. If you are reading this post, it means you made it into the much awaited new year, 2016. To that extent, I would heartily say to you ‘congratulations’.

Many people begin a new year loaded with what is popularly known as ‘new year resolution’. Fortunate are you if you are one of those very few people who are always able to follow through with their new year resolution. As you are well aware of, it is widely acknowledged that a high percentage of people who make new year resolutions are unable to carry on with it till the end of the set goal.

Failure to achieve the set goal may often lead to unhappiness, regrets and even depression. For you to really have a happy new year, I have the following suggestions to put forth:

Consider what goes on in your mind. The battle of life will often being won or lost in your mind. Cultivate positive thoughts. Negative thinking stifles creative energy. “Think about what you are thinking”, someone once advised me. If any of your thoughts do not contribute to your happiness, health and wealth and that of those around you, there should be no use accommodating such thoughts. Consider your thoughts.

Your words will make or mar you. One suggestion I will give you for the new year is that you should not say negative things about you, your life or your circumstances. Your words will naturally flow from your thoughts. If you are able to cultivate only positive thoughts in your heart, speaking positive words will not be a herculean task. Consider your words because they will either speak in your favour or stand against you.

Have a clear idea of what you want to do/achieve. You can call it goal-setting if you like but it’s important you do it in this new year. It is often said that if you don’t know where you are going, you may not know when you get there. Knowing what to do and how to do it are a powerful combination that will enable you to win out during the year.

All your actions are important. Do things that tend toward the attainment of your goals. By the end of 2016, what you become or fail to become will be a sum total of what you did or failed to do in the course of the year. Therefore, it is wisdom to start watching your actions from day one, week one and month one of the new year. I am not suggesting you should be hard on yourself. But you have to try your best to do your best from the outset. That way you would be sure of getting greater value out of the new year.

Try something new. I know you like your comfort zone – most people do. But you will never experience the kind of joy that comes only from conquering new ‘territories’ if you remain in your comfort zone. As you go through the new year, try out new things; do something different from what you are used to. Expand your experience, broaden your horizon. I must add that this is not an advice to clutter your schedule unnecessarily. I know you know how far to go.

By the end of 2016, what you become or fail to become will be a sum total of what you did or failed to do in the course of the year.

HAVE A REALLY HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

©Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP WISHING

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP WISHING

By Victor Uyanwanne

NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER

If we continue to live in the past, we will not enjoy the present and we will mess up the future. This is why we should leave the unpleasant past where it belongs and cease from regretting over some things we cannot change in our lives.

“Stop wishing and start living” should be the appropriate advice here!

In the light of this, I have come up with the list of a few things we should grow up beyond and stop regretting over:

1.  I wish I was younger!

It’s obvious you are older now, so why still cry over spilt milk? You missed some good opportunities when you were younger, but you also had some good memories. Now that you are older, you can’t get them back any more.

Grow up and make the most of your older age now. Otherwise, the older you get, the wider your margin of regrets becomes.

If you spend today regretting about yesterday, you will spend tomorrow regretting about today.

2.  I wish I had more time!

Excuse me please! Hasn’t God given all of us 24 hours in a day? How come your neighbour had enough time to do what he had to do and you didn’t? How come your colleague was able to deliver that time-bound report and you weren’t?

Plan well, prioritize, do what you have to do when you have to do it and you will see you have all the time in the world to do the things that matter to you.

There is always enough time to do anything we really want to do. Someone once said, “It is the thing you really don’t want to do that you don’t have time for.”

3.  I wish I married a different person than my spouse!

Come off it please! What if your spouse too has the same thoughts about you? You were so dumb to propose to the person you got married to and she too was so dumb to scream “Yes, yes. I will marry you.” That’s your decision, it’s too late to change that now.

Whomever you got married to has become the right person to be married to. Do away with all regrets about whom you got married to. Make that relationship work now. Shut the door on the divorce option and you will see that no unhappy marriage is irredeemable.

Enjoy the present
Leave the past behind

4.  I wish I had more education.

Formal education is good but that’s not the greatest ticket to success and happiness in life. If you think you need more education than you currently have, go get it. But if it’s no longer possible for you to do so, get over it and stop regretting.

True education could come from other places besides the four walls of a university. In any case, never stop learning.

5.  I wish I was a billionaire!

I am not being pessimistic if I say that some wishes will never come through. But that doesn’t have to be yours. Just that as a 16th century English Language proverb says, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”. Simply put, people don’t always have everything they wish for.

If you want to become a billionaire, work towards it. You are neither too young nor too old to become a billionaire. The last time I checked on the Forbes list of world’s richest men, it had both young and old people on it.

In any case, if you have found out how to become a billionaire, please  let me in on it because I am searching too.

6.   I wish I was born into a rich family!

Thank you for letting me know that your father is neither a Bill Gates (the richest man on Earth) nor an Aliko Dangote (the richest black man on Earth). But that’s as far as it should go. Never blame your parents for not being as rich as you wished they should be.

It is neither yours nor their fault. But know one thing, your life can be better than those of your parents. You can be richer than your parents if you properly take your good chances in life. That’s what you should be doing and not regretting over the economy of your parents.

7.  I wish I chose a different career path!

Fortunate are those who made the right choices as far as their career is concerned. If you are not one of such people, there is no need to keep regretting over it. It’s either you make the most of the career path you are on now or you make a career switch.

I once read the story of a Nigerian school teacher who later went on to become a medical doctor at the age of 50 years. When a journalist asked him about it, he responded, “I have always wanted to be a doctor.”

I thought that was fantastic until I heard about Genevie Kocourek who achieved similar fit at the age of 59 years.

8.  I wish I was created with a different gender!

Why can’t you accept who you are? Are you a man wishing you were a woman or a woman wishing you were a man?. That’s of no use! You are good enough as either a man or woman you were created to be.

What about those who are transgender (oops, I have finally used that word)? I wished you wouldn’t ask, because I don’t have an opinion now.

Please share what you think.

© Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

By Victor Uyanwanne

Everyone wants to be happy in life but not everyone is happy. You don’t need to look hard enough around you in your family, workplace, church and neighbourhoods to find huge evidences to support that assertion.

I once rode on a public bus in Lagos, Nigeria, with someone who claimed she didn’t want to be wealthy in life. Of course she stated her reasons, even though I felt differently about her position after listening to her. But I am yet to meet anyone who doesn’t want to be happy in life.

In this article, I do not mean to explain why people are not as happy as they should. But it is my objective to point out who people should not blame if they find that they are not as happy as can be.

Who to blame if you are not happy

Have you not noticed that most people who are not happy blame other people but themselves for not being happy? I don’t know about you, as for me, I know that I would not feel nice if someone blamed me for his unhappiness.

Please be honest with me now, how would you feel if other people blamed their unhappiness on you? I am sure you would not like it too! So if you don’t like other people blaming their unhappiness on you, never feel justified to blame your own unhappiness on other people.

If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse. 

That has to be said because it seems to be natural to blame someone else once anything goes wrong.

“Whatever you do with your life don’t blame me,” an angry mum once said to her wayward teenager. That sounds like a familiar tune in some families.

Right or wrong, even you may have someone you may readily feel is responsible for your unhappiness. But blaming someone else for your unhappiness will not cause you to be truly happy.

Here now is the big question: If you are not happy in life, who should you blame? The answer is……………  NO ONE!

Actually, a better advice would be that you should take responsibility for your perceived unhappiness and snap yourself out of it.  I am not saying it’s easy but it can be done. No one can do it for you except you.

Looking for Happiness
Looking for Happiness

In a previous post on this blog, it was asserted that the key to your happiness is in your hands – not in the hands of another person. As everyone is responsible for his own destiny, so is everyone responsible for his own happiness. That is to say, if you are not happy, don’t blame another person.

But what do we see in people who are not happy? They blame others for their unhappiness! Unhappy mothers blame their children. Unhappy children blame their parents. An unhappy spouse blames the other half, and so on and so forth.

Should it always be so? My candid answer would be a huge NO. Here are my summarized takes on it:

    1. If you are not happy as an employee, don’t blame it on your employer.

    2. If you are not happy as a citizen of your country, don’t blame it on your Government.
    3. If you are not happy as a teacher, don’t blame it on your students.
    4. If you are not happy as a student, don’t blame it on your teacher.
    5. If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse.
    6. If you are not happy as a child, don’t blame it on your parents.

    7. If you are not happy as a parent, don’t blame it on your children.
    8. If you are not happy as a player, don’t blame it on your coach.
    9. If you are not happy as a team member, don’t blame it on your other team members.
    10. If you are not happy as a pastor, don’t blame it on your congregation.
    11. If you are not happy as a member of your congregation, don’t blame it on your pastor.
    12. Most importantly if you are not happy with your life, don’t blame it on God.

You have read my thoughts. Please feel free to share yours. I will be glad to read your comments.

© Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

11 Hard Lessons For Personal Happiness You Should Know

By Victor Uyanwanne
To be happy, make others happy.

The responsibility to be happy and stay happy lies with you. That is to say that if you leave yourself at the mercy of others to make you happy, you will often be disappointed because no one person can make you happy all the time – not even your spouse.
You have the right to be happy and you have the freedom to seek happiness.  But don’t put yourself in a situation where your personal happiness is 100% dependent on other people.

When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour.

No one but you can make you happy. This was well addressed on this blog in the post before this one.

Who to blame if you are not happy.

Let your happiness depend on YOU. In other words, you can choose whether or not to be happy. It is entirely up to you, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances around you.

To achieve this, there are some interrelated hard lessons on the responsibility for personal happiness you should know:

  1. You are responsible for your own happiness.  This sounds hard but it is true. If you can’t make yourself happy always, no one else will.
  1. Except you are still an infant, no one owes it to you to make you happy. Infants can’t take the responsibility for their own happiness. The burden is naturally that of their caregivers, parents or guardians.
  1. Although no one owes it to you to make you happy, you owe it to other people to contribute to their own happiness. Even the Bible says, “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.” So next time you see someone, remember that you owe him love.
  1. When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour. While it is expected of you to contribute to someone’s happiness, it is only an act of favour if someone contributes to make you happy.
  1. You can’t truly be happy without making someone else happy. If you are seeking happiness, give it first. In The Wisdom Keys, Mike Murdock said, “what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you.” Those who make happiness happen for others will have happiness made happen for them.

want happiness

  1. Happiness is inside you, not outside. Those who seek happiness outside of their core being will never be fully satisfied. Most often than not, what you look for on the outside of you is already in the inside of you. Happiness is not an exception to this.
  1. If you are not happy, don’t blame anybody. Take full responsibility for your (un)happiness. If you don’t take the responsibility for your personal happiness, no one will.
  1. It is not bad to want personal happiness, but any attempt to rub other people of their own happiness in order to fuel yours will ultimately rob you of true happiness. So rather than concentrate on seeking happiness for yourself alone, you should also make room in your life to be a part of the happiness of other people. Someone once said, “It makes me happy to make other people happy.”
  1. If you sow happiness as a seed into the life of another person, it will ultimately come back to you as a fruit. An infallible law of nature states, “We reap what we sow.” If you are not reaping happiness where you are, you may have to cross-check the seed you have been sowing all along. Another definition of happiness is loving other people and being loved.
  1. You can hardly make other people happy if you are not happy yourself. To love others you have to first love yourself. Those who don’t love themselves are incapable of loving others. Even Jesus Christ said “love your neighbour as yourself”. This command to love others is premised on the natural assumption that you love yourself. It is not too late to start if you haven’t started already.
  1. Ultimately happiness is a choice. You can chose whether or not to be happy. It is not about what I say or what happens around you. It is largely up to you. So the next time you blame someone for your unhappiness, you know you blame the wrong person.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts in the comment section.

 

© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

No One But You Can Make You Happy

Everyone wants to be happy but not everyone is looking in the right direction to find happiness. Whether or not one finds happiness is largely dependent on where one is looking.

The key to your happiness
Key to happiness

When it comes to finding personal happiness, if you are not looking within you, you are looking in the wrong direction. The truth remains that one cannot find long-lasting personal happiness outside of one’s self.

The good news is that you can find happiness in life irrespective of your social status and irrespective of your geographical location.

For instance, some years ago, a BBC report based on a ‘happiness survey’ emerged which stated that “A new study of more than 65 countries published in the UK’s New Scientist magazine suggests that the happiest people in the world live in Nigeria – and the least happy, in Romania.” 

Various reactions trailed the publication of the findings of the report. But then similar sentiment had a long time ago been expressed by the late Nigerian Afrobeat musican, Fela Anikulapo Kuti  when he described the experience of living in Nigeria as “suffering and smiling” in one of his hit songs. That was Fela’s way of saying that Nigerians remain happy people even in the midst of obvious hardship.

I was born in Nigeria and I still live here with my beautiful family. I know first-hand what it means to live here.

I am not so much abreast with the underpinning situations in Romania to merit being named in that report as the abode of the least happy people in the world. But if people who live in Nigeria could be named  amongst the happiest people in the world, despite the enormous economic and socio-political challenges we experience on a regular basis, it goes further to show that anyone can be happy wherever he may live.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

— Martha Washington

It has to be said that your real happiness does not reside in things or in objects, but in you. Any happiness derived from external sources such as money, sex, drugs, fame, position, achievement etc will only last for a while.  You don’t have to look too far around you to see examples that corroborate this assertion.

Finding Personal happiness

If you are looking for happiness, look inwards. If you fail to find real happiness within you, you may not be able to find it outside.  Real happiness comes from within, not from things, not from other people.

Having all the wealth in the world does not even guarantee happiness. The richest people on earth are not necessarily the happiest people; neither are the poorest the unhappiest. It all boils down to one’s inner ‘possessions’, core attitude, disposition to, and, focus in life.

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.”

Zig Ziglar

The seed of happiness is already in you. Nurture it; let it grow and it will produce its fruit. This is particularly true if you are a spirit-filled Christian.

Spirit-filled Christians have the seed of happiness already planted on their inside. In the book of Galatians, ‘joy’ is listed as one of the nine fruit of the Spirit.

As Christians we already have joy on our inside, even though not all of us demonstrate it as we should. In the words of Apostle Paul, “the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” This is the meaning of real happiness.

You may not know it, but when you gave your life to Jesus, all the fruit of the Spirit were planted inside you in seed form. Through the Spirit you can experience joy and peace in every circumstance, no matter how difficult or painful.

– Joyce Meyer

Just like everyone else, I know you are looking for happiness in life. But the question is “where have you been looking?”

Often times you probably make the mistake of looking up to other people to make you happy. When they fail to meet the expectation, you become very unhappy, resentful and even suffer mild depression.

But should that be the case? Should you leave a part of your destiny – the decision for your own happiness – in the hands of other people?

Interest in Happiness

My friend, you should not leave your happiness in the hands of other people. Therefore, my simple advice is that if no one puts a smile on your face, do it yourself.  If no one makes you happy, do it yourself.

Those who wait for others to make them happy may never be eventually.

Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone that power over your life  Mandy Hale

Where is the Key to Your Happiness?

The key to your happiness is in your hand. Yes, you heard me right! It’s in your hand! If you allow other people to determine whether or not you are happy, it means you have turned the control of your life over to them.

Someone once advised, “Don’t put the key to your happiness into some else’s pocket.” No one can truly control you if he can’t control your happiness.

What makes you think everyone would cooperate to make you happy, anyway? Don’t you know that people are more interested in their own happiness than they are in yours? Don’t you realize also that you will be left miserable if you hang your entire hope of happiness on earth on other people?

Truth be told, there are more people on earth who are looking for other people to make them happy than people who are looking for other people to make happy. Chances are that every day of the week, the people you come across belong to the former category.

Does that mean that you will go through the whole week wearing a long face, because no one made you happy? I hope not!

Next to come: 11 HARD LESSONS FOR PERSONAL HAPPINESS YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne