Coronavirus Pandemic: In Times Like This

It is no longer news that coronavirus has become a global pandemic. And it has significantly impacted the way we do things at home, at work, at play and even at our worship places.

Owing to this ravaging disease, many deaths have been reported across the world. And the number is increasing daily.

Some other people are suffering in various ways: fear of infection, food shortages, lockdowns and restrictions in movements.

These are difficult times for the people of the world, to say the least. May be we are in ‘perilous times’ as the Bible calls it (see 2 Timothy 3:1).

Perilous time is a time “full of danger and risk.” In other words, this is a dangerous time around the world.

That danger and risk are occasioned by the outbreak of coronavirus also known as covid 19. Everyone is now faced with the risk of infestation and the danger of death.

People are living in palpable fear as the situation continues to go out of hand around the nations of the world, stretching medical services to the last limit.

As one commentator on an online forum puts it, “This is no ordinary – humans, nations, organisations and industries, the high and mighty are being humbled…”

But what can you do to be safe in a time like this? I will give you two suggestions in this post.

1. Follow the advice of your government or health authorities

Make it a point of duty to adhere to the safety measures proffered by your government or appropriate health authorities.

I know quite a lot has been said about this across many media but it can never be over-emphasised:

  • Practice social distancing.
  • Stay at home.
  • Maintain very strict hygienic procedures – wash and sanitise your hands regularly.
  • Properly cover your nose when you sneeze.
  • Wear nose masks especially when in public.
  • Avoid touching your face.
  • Self-isolate, where necessary.
  • Etc

These recommendations are good and should be properly upheld. But if you are a believer in Christ, I’m going to add one more thing: you should keep up your faith in God.

Dealing with coronavirus as a believer in Christ
Source: Sinach’s Instagram handle

2. Keep up your faith in God

As a believer in Christ, the outbreak of coronavirus pandemic should not make your faith waver. In fact, it should be strengthened in times like this.

And if you are not yet a believer, you might want to consider becoming one at this time. As you can see, the world is no longer the same just because of one “little plague” known as covid 19.

Effect of coronavirus on nations of the world
Source: Nairaland

Let your faith in God swallow up your fear of coronavirus or any other disease for that matter. “The just shall live by faith” says the Bible in Galatians 3:11.

In times like this, remember God’s promises of divine protection, healing and deliverance. Believe them, confess them and live my them.


Let me know what you think in the comment section.

Coronavirus : Reshaping The Way We Do Things

Spread rate of Corona virus
Source: worldometer.info

The coronavirus was reported to have broken out in Wuhan, China in 2019. But nothing much changed around the world because of it untill this year.

From that Chinese city where the virus started, it has spread to many places around the world. From Italy to Germany, UK, US, France, etc it has spread in alarming proportions.

Even my beloved country Nigeria is not spared. From just one case a month ago, a total of 50 has now been officially recorded.

If that is not alarming, the global statistics is. With over 382,000 cases and over 16,500 deaths so far around the world, the picture is really very bad.

Thankfully, over 102,500 recoveries have been reported. But the scourge has not been fully tamed.

Corona virus - global statistics
Source: worldometer.info

The result of all this is that there is fear in the land. Movements have been restricted, lifestyles altered in immense proportions, reshaping the way we do things.

In effect, life is no longer the same. Everything as we used to know it has changed, sadly not for the better yet.

Apart from the loss of lives, world economy has taken the worse hit. Most stock markets have lost a huge chunk of their value in the last few weeks.

Crude oil price is at its lowest ebb in the last five years. This is not good for Nigeria my country that depends on the sale of crude oil for 90 percent of her annual foreign exchange earnings.

Beyond that, we have seen the government take some radical decisions. Our international borders have now been shut: no going out and no coming in.

Airlines are grounded. Interstate travels also restricted.

Hand washing with soap and water or health sanitizer is one culture everyone is practicing.

People are afraid to mingle. This is the era of social distancing. For some people it is self-isolation.

The year of 2020 will surely go down in history as the year of social distancing. Everyone is trying to stay safe from Corona virus.

Federal and State government workers have been ordered to stay at home to prevent further spread of the virus. “Don’t worry, your salaries will still paid in full” assured the government.

Even the private sector employers are not left out. Many of them have ordered their staff to work from home until further notice.

Except for a few instances, working from home has not been part of our experience in this part of the world. But now the by-word has become, if you must, work from home, stay at home and stay safe.

As I am typing this I am at home, with a view to staying safe from the pandemic. Thanks to our employer, some of us don’t have to go to work this week. Yet our salaries will be paid in full.

By implication, while it is already given that most companies incomes for the year might take a deep due to coronavirus pandemic, their costs will certainly rise. It is hoped the situation doesn’t get worse.

Coronavirus scare has also affected the way we worship. By Government order, no church or mosque can gather 20 people in one place in the name of worship.

For most mega churches here, services have always been streamed online but we still preferred to attend physical fellowship.

All that has now changed. More of my fellow citizens have bought into the idea of attending online church services.

Schools around the nation have since been shut down. Scheduled weddings have been postponed. Sports, entertainment and other social events have been put on hold.

Let me stop here for now. The point has already been made. Coronavirus pandemic has reshaped the way we do things. How long this forced lifestyle change will last is something no one is yet sure of.

Global consequences of Corona virus.

In what way has the coronavirus scare reshaped your life?

How Correct Is The Claim That Atheism Is Not A Choice?

When I published The problems of atheists finally figured out on this blog, it generated many comments from my readers, especially from the so-called atheists.

As I responded to the comments one after another, I saw one that picked my interest: Atheism is not a choice. This post is a further attempt of mine to address that notion.

Is the claim that atheism is not a choice correct? I believe it is not.

In my own opinion, atheism is definitely a choice. I will like to hear what you think, but I have my own reasons for saying so.

First and foremost, believing that God exists is a choice some of us had to make. If the act of believing that God exists is a choice, the act of not believing is also a choice – whether active or passive.

Remember the saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Either way, there is a plan.

At some point, Jesus made a remarkable statement that adds credence to what we are saying here:

Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me” Matthew 12:30.

You see, it’s either you have declared for Jesus or you have declared against Him.

Simply put, there is no middle ground; it’s either you have chosen to be with Jesus or you have chosen not to be with Him.

And if you have chosen not to be with Him, it means you have chosen to be against Him. Either way there is a choice and that choice is yours.

That is to say, if you believe God exists, it’s a choice you have made. If you believe He doesn’t exist, it’s also a choice you have made.

In conclusion, it is incorrect to claim that atheism is not a choice. This is because, we are all responsible for our individual choices.

What we believe is our choice, what we don’t believe is our choice.

We believe God exists, it’s our choice. We believe He doesn’t exist, it’s our choice.

So when next you hear someone say, “atheism is not a choice,” please recognise that statement for what is: a deception.


Do you agree that atheism is a choice?

3 Simple Ways To Start Empowering The Writer In You

In our previous post, we established the fact that there is a writer in you. We also added that you should be intentional about doing things that will empower that writer in you.

There are things you can begin to do right now to begin empowering the writer in you. If you are interested in finding out what they are, today is your lucky day because that’s why I’m writing this post.

Read on…

3 things you can do to start empowering the writer in you

begin to re more than before

1. Begin to read more books than you have ever done before

If your dream of becoming a writer means anything worthwhile to you, then you have to be a reader first. It is true that writers write, but it is also true that writers read a lot.

If you cannot bring yourself to the discipline of reading, you cannot subject yourself to the discipline of writing. Apart from the vast information you gain from reading, it also helps you learn the style of writing from other writers.

Read voraciously. Read wide. Don’t be intimidated by the block of texts you come across on the pages of books or on posts online.

Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write” –Annie Proulx

Read regularly every day. Don’t go to bed any day without having read something. Yes, it is that serious!

When I was studying accounting at the undergraduate level, my mantra was, “any day without studying accounting is no day.” (Thanks to a friend who gave me that idea). With that, I was able to motivate myself to study the course until I got the proper handle on it.

You may as well adopt that philosophy, so that no day will pass without you reading something. After all, you want to empower the writer in you.

2. Begin to train on the art of writing

One of the side benefits of reading is that you get to see firsthand how other writers present their works and to learn from them.

Ways to bring out the writer in you.a

To begin empowering the writer in you, apart from committing yourself to continuous reading, another thing you should do is to get trained on the art of writing.

I am not suggesting that you should go back to school for a degree in communication arts. Well if you are still very young, that might not be a bad option. But I want to believe you are eager to birth your writing career so you don’t want to waste more time!

If that is so, you can go through the quicker route. Take condensed trainings on writing. Register and attend writing workshops – both terrestrial and online.

Seek opportunities to interact with writers you admire and learn from them. After all, you want to empower the writer in you.

If learning via video is your thing, do so by any means. Thanks to Youtube, you can find numerous materials on writing to watch and learn from.

3. Start writing now

After all said and done, what is the next practical thing to start doing? You guessed right! Start writing!

If you read all the books there are to read and you attend all writing workshops possible, and you don’t get down to actually start writing, you haven’t helped yourself enough and you will still be very far from achieving your goal of becoming a writer.

Start putting pen to paper and begin to write or get your hands on your computer keyboard and start punching away. You know the computer is an obedient tool. It will record whatever you type in, and it’s not going to tell you to stop writing. So why the waste of time?

If you want to become a writer, you must start writing something. Write stories (real or imagined). One quick way to achieve that is to start blogging. So start a personal blog where you can practice writing for others to read.

Write poems, write anything that comes to your mind. Write about your experiences. Be creative, be imaginative. Just write.

At this point don’t worry about whether someone will like your write-up or not. Just write! The only book that may not be read is the one you fail to write.

In conclusion,

Don’t wait until you have become a writer to start writing. It doesn’t work that way! You can’t put the cart before the horse and expect to go anywhere.

Your dream of becoming a writer is achievable! While you wait for that to come through, start doing what you can do now: start empowering the writer in you. Read more, learn more and write more. You will get there!


What else are doing to empower the writer in you?

Empowering The Writer In You

Bring out the writer in you

There is a writer in you. And the things you do will empower or disempower him or her.

Needless to say, if you truly want to become a writer, you should be doing things that empower the writer in you. And you should be intentional in doing so.

Many people want to become writers (which is good), but only a few will actualise that dream in their lifetime.

Why?

Presumably because good writing is not an easy task to accomplish. And because it’s not that easy, many people get discouraged along the way; they give up on their dream of becoming a writer. And that’s sad!

That should not be your own story. I mean, you should not give up on your writing dream.

Giving up a dream may lead to regrets.

For the sake of emphasis, let me say it again: the fact that writing is not a cup of tea should not discourage you from pursuing your writing goals. There is no worthwhile goal in life that is not difficult to achieve.

You of all people should know that to accomplish anything great in life, you have to work hard and work smart at it. Writing is not different from that.

Benjamin Franklin's quote on writing

I know you don’t mind doing something great that is worth writing about. But don’t you also want to write something that is worth reading? I bet you do because I know you can!

I am convinced there is a writer in you. And I want to encourage you to do all you can to reveal him or her to the world.

In other words, you can actualise your dream of becoming a writer. Start preparing your mindset now.

First you have to believe that it is achievable. Then focus on it. Pursue it.

Apply yourself to writing. Be committed to it. You will achieve it sooner than you think.

Whether you like it or not, let me say it again: there is a writer inside everyone of us. Don’t let him or her die.

Start doing things that empower that writer in you. Soonest, your dream of becoming a writer will become an awesome reality.

In the next post, I will show you three simple things you can begin to do right now to start empowering the writer in you.


Do you believe there is a writer in you?

300 Posts On This Blog And Still Counting

Blogging milestone

If you are reading this now, it means you are reading the 300th post here on Victors’ Corner. And I feel really grateful for how far I have come writing the blog.

I hope you will appreciate what I mean when I say the blog was started without much serious consideration. It was just a simple step I took to share my thoughts and views to the world…

On the journey to the 300th post, I’ve grown and I’m still growing. I have had my highs and lows, a fair share of negative criticisms and thankfully some positive feedback. So now there is no looking back anymore.

What I started five years ago like a child’s play has now metamorphosed into something bigger and far significant than I had anticipated. And I’m loving the experience all together.

As at the time I published my first post, I had no idea that as many people as are reading my blog presently would be interested in whatever I had to share to the world. The only thing I was sure of was that I had something to share…

Secondly, I thought that I had found an outlet to not only share my thoughts with the world but also to hone by writing skills. And to a good extent, I am achieving those objectives already.

My sincere appreciation goes to everyone of my followers and the over forty thousand readers who have spent their valuable time reading my blog and also to all those who thought it wise to give a feedback in forms of likes for my posts and comments on the blog.

I thank you all immensely for always reading and commenting.

All time highest view.

Having come this far, I don’t intend to give up now or anytime soon; I’m promising you that I’m not going to stop writing, neither will I quit on the blogging mission. And I would count on you to continue reading and sending in as much feedback as possible.

As we begin a new journey towards the next 300 posts, let’s do it together. And also, feel free to invite your friends and family along.

Give or take, there will be something for everyone who stops by on the blog. More than ever before, my blogging mission has been strengthened and enlarged for the benefits of you my readers.

It doesn’t matter if you agree with all my views or not, your perspective is very important to me. Just let me what you think in the comment section. As always, I promise to reply all your comments.

Thank you for being there!

How Do You Spell Valentine?

What Valentine's Day means
What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

Saint Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to celebrate love. So they say, but I have observed that too much emphasis is usually placed on romantic love at the expense of love as a virtue.

I would like to ask you: how do you spell Valentine? In other words, what does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

Some people say it’s Lovers’ Day. So if you are not married or not in a romantic relationship, you shouldn’t celebrate it?

Well, your answer to that question depends on what you believe. As you know your beliefs affect the things you do and how you do them.

If you are a believer in Christ like me, you know the word of God should guide you – whatever do. For instance, if you are not married and you are open to observing the Valentine’s Day celebration, you should know that sex should not be on the table as part of the activities to mark the day.

Don’t you know the reason? Sex is permissible by God only within the confines of marriage. So if you are not married yet, you have no business with sex – whether it is Valentine’s Day or not.

As unpopular as that opinion may sound today, it is part of what is required of us as followers of Jesus Christ. You are in disobedience if you think otherwise.

Who should be your Valentine?

I’m not suggesting you should or should not celebrate the Saint Valentine’s Day. The choice is entirely up to you. But if your desire is to please God with your life, you will agree with me that you will not celebrate with reckless abandon.

Until recently, I didn’t reckon with Saint Valentine’s Day celebration. The reason was that it was modelled around me in a way that went contrary to my ‘moral’ upbringing (forgive me if that sounds like pride).

While growing up, Valentine’s Day was about hooking up with a boy/girl friend, attending parties and even having sex. But none of those activities appealed to some of us young believers in Christ, so we thought Saint Valentine’s Day was not worth celebrating.

But then later in life, I met my wife and discovered that unlike me, she cared a little about Valentine’s Day; not in any odious way, but in a way of sharing thoughts of love with people that mattered to you, giving them gifts or being with them. So I keyed in a bit.

Since then every Valentine’s Day I get her a little gift to ‘show’ my thought of love towards her, without any elaborate celebrations. And that’s all there is for me.

I remember there was a year all I could get her was a strand of rose I bought off the shelf in a supermarket. The most important thing was that I showed her I cared (and I still do).

You may say I could do better than that. Yes, you are probably right, but please let’s leave that discussion for another day.

May be your experience is different from mine, that’s fine! That’s why I’m writing this post: to hear from you what Valentine’s Day means to you.

I will like to conclude this way: If they say Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, then we should not make it all about romance and sex. It should be about love in the truest sense of it: loving God with all your heart and loving your neighbour as yourselves.


Why You Should Make Jesus Your Valentine

Make Jesus your Valentine

Every February 14th, the Saint Valentine’s Day is celebrated in many places around the world. On that day, people want to be with those they love or with those that love them, expressing their love to one another either in words or in action or both as the case may be.

Irrespective of whatever form the Valentine’s day is celebrated, the bottom line is the individual quest to satisfy the need to love and be loved. Unfortunately, many of such quests for love end up in disappointments.

What if you found the Love that never fails? What if I told you there is a kind of love you can bank on every time and not just on Valentine’s Day?

What if I told you Jesus is the most special One you need to be with? What if I told you, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose if you made Jesus your Valentine?

Jesus is ready to be your Valentine for life if you would let Him. He is ready to be the most special person in your life.

Why should you make Jesus your Valentine? This post gives you three fundamental reasons.

Valentine's Day celebration

Three Reasons You Should Make Jesus Your Valentine – Your Most Special One

1. Jesus loves you completely and unconditionally

You will never find a lover like Jesus, who loves you 100% and over. And He loves you irrespective of your estate in life, your racial background or your religious affiliation.

Jesus loves you without reservations, and without limits. His love for you is not tied to your performance – whatever you do, He loves you anyway.

His love is already freely given and it’s yours for the taking. So make Him your Valentine and accept His love into your heart. This will make a whole lot of difference in your life.

i love you illustration

2. Jesus forgives your sins completely

Jesus loves you so much He gave His life to earn forgiveness for all your sins.

Every human being alive has the question of sin to grapple with. The Bible says, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” But you see, you don’t have to remain a sinner for the rest of your life.

The simple advice I will give you is this: even though you were born a sinner, don’t die a sinner. The only way not to die a sinner is to consciously, willingly and wholeheartedly identify with Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour.

Make Him your Valentine – your special One. Begin to love Him back because, as we noted earlier, He already loves unconditionally and completely.

3. Jesus protects your interest eternally

When you accept the unconditional love of God into your heart and also receives forgiveness for all your sins, you enter into a special relationship with God that extends beyond your lifetime. He will be with you while you are alive on earth and you will be with Him when you pass on to the other side of this life.

In other words, if you would identify with Jesus here on earth, He will protect your interest in this world and in the world to come. You may have heard some people say that this life is all there is; that there is no life after death.

That position is in correct because the Bible clearly shows that there is life after death. And that life after death can only be spent with God in Heaven or with Satan in hell.


You can make Jesus the most special in your life. He loves you more than anyone else. He paid the price for the forgiveness of your sins and He is the only One that guarantees your future eternally.

The choice is yours to make and your lifetime is your only chance to make it. So would you like to make Jesus your Valentine for life? Leave a comment.


Top 5 Posts In 2019

I have previously written about my favourite post in 2019. The choice of that post was based entirely on what I liked about it and the effect it had on me.

Victor Uyanwanne

I’m going further by presenting to you the top 5 posts on this blog for the year 2019. But this time, the choice is based solely on the posts with the highest number of likes by my wordpress readers.

Thanks to the blog’s analytics, the ranking has already been done for me automatically and it is my pleasure to run through it with you:

I hope you will find some new gems as you review the five most liked posts in 2019 with me:

1. Blogging for personal development

This post ranked at no. 2 in 2018, but it climbed to the first position in 2019.

In that post, I shared my personal experience regarding how blogging has contributed to my personal development in several ways. I’m convinced that anyone who has blogged for at least a year could identify with some of the points highlighted in the post.

And if you are someone that has been dragging your feet on starting a blog, reading that post might motivate you to launch your blog without further delay.

2. Racism in America Vs Tribalism in Nigeria

This post was at the top of the ladder a year ago in 2018 before being displaced to the second place in the year under review. It compared the issue of racism in America with that of tribalism in Nigeria.

America has the biggest economy in the world and Nigeria holds the ace in Africa. Beyond that comparison, there is another parallel that can be drawn between the two giants.

While racism exists [in America  and everywhere else] as a result of differences in colour of the skin, tribalism [in Nigeria and in other places] hinges on differences in birth-roots. The post recognised that both racism and tribalism are common societal evils that must be dealt a decisive blow in order for us to have a better world.

3. Dear new blogger: 7 things I would like you to know

This post became a new entrant into the top 5 hall of fame during the just outgone year. You will find the tips in the post to be very helpful in your blogging experience, most especially if you are a new kid on the block of personal blogging.

You can learn from those ahead of you in the blogging world without having to repeat the inevitable mistakes they had to make while they were just starting off. For instance, I found that having a blog is like having a baby; you have to nurture it, feed it regularly and ensure that it remains healthy. 

4. Eight simple reasons I do not follow your blog

This 2018 third-position-ranked post remained popular in 2019 (although a little less than it was in the year before). I want to believe that no blogger hates having followers. And you don’t want to be the author of a blog that no-one wants to follow.

So if people are not following your blog, there must be some reasons they are not doing so and they are worth finding out. The post is my personal take on why I don’t follow some blogs.

5. Six simple reasons to forgive offences

From no. 4 position in 2018, this post moved a step down to no. 5 in 2019. But that does not undermine the importance of the central message of the post: we should find reasons to forgive offences because they will surely come.

Those who have not known how to forgive offences have not known how to be happy. You erode your capacity to be happy if you refuse to forgive those and anyone who offend you.

Revenge

In conclusion

I hope you enjoyed going through the review of some of my most liked posts in 2019, like I did?

However, you would appreciate the fact that the purpose of the review is not to give myself a pat on the back or to blow my trumpet. Rather, I just want to highlight some of the most liked posts in order to expose them to more readership.

I must add that doing the review has done me a personal good. I could see that most of the these top posts under review were published in the year 2018 and none of my posts in 2019 made it to that hall of fame.

More so, from my little beginning in 2015, this blog has done progressively better each year till 2018. But the onward trend was not sustained in 2019.

And that’s a humbling realisation for me because it shows that I will have to up the game in the nascent year by publishing more posts that enrich the reading experience of my wordpress audience.

Let’s stop here and look forward to what lies ahead for us in the blogging journey of 2020. Thank you for reading and don’t forget to leave a comment.

What’s Your Favourite Post This Year?

Best post in 2019

I hope you enjoyed yourself writing posts on your blog this year? If yes, then consider the subject question as part of the review of your blogging activities for the outgoing calender year.

Looking back now, which one of your posts written in 2019 would you consider your most favourite?

In this post is my simple answer to that same question, and it is in response to a SlimJim’s A question for bloggers: What is your favourite post that you wrote for 2019?

As he rightly pointed out in his short post, your favourite post for the year doesn’t necessarily mean the most popular post on your blog. But rather, the one you really like yourself or you enjoyed writing most or that challenged you or inspired you the most –  whether or not it gathered many views, likes and comments.

For me, I think my favourite post for 2019 will be one of my midyear posts entitled The problem of atheists finally figured out. It was the second post I published after I carefully studied one of the hottest interactions between Jesus and some of the pretentious religious leaders of the day – the Pharisees.

In a way, I came to realise that there is a similarity between the attitude of the then Pharisees and the modern day atheists, especially the ones online.

As someone who frequently engages in online conversations with atheists visiting this blog, I have often wondered why most of them say the (foolish) things they say about God and the notion of His existence.

“Why can’t they just get it?” I have often asked under my breath.

However my bewilderment got relieved when I heard Jesus vehemently point out the mistakes of the Pharisees as recorded in the Gospels: “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God” – Matthew 22:29 (emphasis mine).

Those words were an eye-opener for me because I could surmise that atheists have the same problems too; they neither understand the scriptures nor know the power of God.

My second most favourite post for the year

Let me also use this medium to talk about my second most favourite post for the outgoing year. The post was inspired by my study of the book of Malachi in the course of 2019.

In the Two Antidotes To Divorce Hidden Away in Malachi, I talked about the fact God intends for our marriages to be a lifelong union. And that to prevent divorce, we must guard our hearts against it and be faithful to our spouses. That’s so simple yet many people miss it. How sad!

You can check out the two posts and let me know what you think.

Thank you.

Now That Christmas Is Over

You looked forward to Christmas all year long. Now the celebration for this year is over.

It will be another 360 something days before you will have another chance to celebrate it again. That is if you are still alive.

Please don’t get me wrong there. I’m not suggesting that you would die before next year’s Christmas. But I’m not denying that the possibility exists for all of us.

Come to think of it, not everyone who celebrated Christmas last year’s Christmas was around to join in this year’s celebration. And as sure as the as the rising sun tomorrow, not everyone who celebrated this year’s Christmas will be alive to celebrate the coming year’s.

You know I’m not being a prophet of doom here. It is the sad reality of the life we found ourselves in: after all said and done, death is inevitable.

The Bible says, “There’s time for everything under the Sun.”

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance… Ecclesiastes 3:1-11.

Let’s take further exploration of the first part of the above quote:

A time to be born, a time to die

Jesus had the time He was born to this earth. He had the time He had to die as well. Gratefully He had the time to resurrect as well.

If you are reading this now, I know you had the time you were born; you had a beginning. Or don’t you have a birthday?

And if you had a beginning on this earth, you are also going to have an ending. It is called death – the way of all mankind.

Unlike when you were born when everyone jubilated, when you die, people will cry. I mean if you are not Adolf Hitler or anyone else in his mould, I don’t see why anyone should be glad when you die.

But whether anyone is sad or happy when you die, it would not really matter to you. What would matter would be how you have used your short life on earth to prepare for the eternity that death would be the doorway to.

If you have prepared well for eternity, death will be a gain to you. But if you have not, death will be a great loss to you. Regrettably, it will be too late by then to make amends.

But how can you prepare well for eternity?

To be honest, the answer is simpler than you think. It requires simple faith in Jesus Christ, the birth of whom we just celebrated and will continue to celebrate in the years ahead.

Think back a little to the Christmas story: a virgin gave birth to Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the whole world. (See Matthew 1:20-21).

You see, that’s why we celebrate Christmas every year: a Saviour was born to save us from our sins. In this Saviour lies the hope of all humanity. But it is sad that many are not seeing it that way.

Now that Christmas is over, the question I would like to ask you is this: do you have a personal relationship by faith with the Celebrant? By that I mean, have you accepted Jesus to be your Lord and Saviour?

If your answer is yes, I will advise you to nurture that relationship so closely that nothing will come between you and Him. You have His assurance that nothing can separate you from His love till you will get to meet Him face to face on the other side of this life.

On the other hand, if you have not put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour, you have between now and the next Christmas to do so. Actually, no one can guarantee that you will be alive till the next Christmas. So that means NOW is the best chance you have to invite Jesus into your life.

Please wait no further, “For God says, “At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you.” Indeed, the “right time” is now. Today is the day of salvation” 2 Corrinthians 6:2.


What do you say?

Beyond the Fanfare, What is Christmas About?

In many places around the world, people celebrate Christmas for various reasons. And the celebration is usually done with a lot of fanfare.

But beyond the fanfare with which it is celebrated, we must not lose sight of the fact that the essence of Christmas is Jesus Christ Himself. Without Jesus as the centre of focus, every celebration of Christmas is an empty celebration.

That brings us to the question:

Beyond the fanfare, what is Christmas about?

1. It is about the birth of a Saviour

Jesus was born to be the Saviour of the world. He was born with the grandest mission ever: To save us from our sins.

Before Jesus Christ was born to the earth, an Angel had said to Joseph about Mary, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins” Matthew 1:21.

His name Jesus literally means Saviour. In other words, his name encapsulates His mission.

He was born the Messiah, “the promised deliverer of the Jewish nation prophesied in the Hebrew Bible.”

But not just to His people alone, His saving grace extends to all mankind. “So that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life (John 3:15).

2. It is about the coming of divinity to earth.

One of the core doctrines in Christianity is the belief that Jesus Christ is God in the flesh. When Jesus was born, He brought divinity to humanity.

Jesus is also called Immauel, meaning God with us. The second person of the Trinity stepped into time and be born on earth as a baby.

The incarnation is that event where the second person of the Trinity, the Word, became flesh and dwelt among us – Matt Slick

And throughout His life on Earth, Jesus never suffered any identity crisis: He knew who He is: God in the flesh.

At one point in Jesus’ ministry, Philip, one of the twelve disciples of Jesus said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

Jesus’ response to him was most unequivocal: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? John 14:8-9.

3. It is the birth of the soon-coming King

The birth of Jesus was His first coming to earth. His second coming is still a future event, but it is going to be a sure event.

His first birth by a virgin was foretold and it did happened as prophesied. There is no doubt in my mind that His second-coming which has also been prophesied, will sooner or later take place.

Why not under-estimating Christmas we should not lose sight of the fact that Jesus will come back again – not as a baby, but as a King.

At the ascension of Jesus, His disciples received an angelic assurance that the same way they saw their Master taken up in the clouds into Heaven is the same way He would come back to the earth.

“Men of Galilee,” said the two Angels who accosted the disciples, “why are you standing here staring into heaven? Jesus has been taken from you into heaven, but someday he will return from heaven in the same way you saw him go!” Acts 1: 11.

4. It is the birth of the One who will judge the world

Guess who will be the Judge of the world? Jesus! That’s right, Jesus will be the one to judge the people of the world.

“The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son” – John 5:22.

Here is how the Bible further paints the picture of the judgement:

When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all his angels are with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. The people of every nation will be gathered in front of him. He will separate them as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right but the goats on his left – Matthew 25:31-33.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad – 2 Corrinthians 5:10.


When we celebrate Christmas, we should remember that we are not just celebrating the birth of an ordinary baby. We are celebrating the birth of our Saviour, God in the flesh, the soon-coming King and the future Judge of the world.

What do you say?

Some Advice To A Christian Lady Waiting For Mr. Right – Part 2

Where on earth is the man I am supposed to marry? I am tired of waiting and I don’t want to make a mistake. I am in my late 20’s slowly approaching 30 soon and would like to settle [down in marriage] within the next one year. My family is putting a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of having to remain sane while waiting for my own [man].

That was from a christian sister expressing her frustrations over her desire to get married but which had not come through.

If you found yourself on this page without having read the first part of the post, please go and read it before you continue with this one. That way, you will have a solid background of the issue in discourse.

Right now, instead of worrying about hooking up with the right man, you concentrate on being the right lady and the right man will find you at the right time.

We will continue from where we stopped by looking at some more advice given to the sister in question by some concerned people. (Again, please read the part one of the post – if you haven’t done so. Thank you).

Let’s us take a look at more advice:

You have painted a picture of the kind of man you are waiting for: a God fearing Man… that’s good. Every woman wants the guy of their dreams to be ready made. But very few are willing to work to make the “man of their dreams.”

Some times, from in the midst of dirt comes true lasting diamonds… Jesus Christ promised a thief paradise at his death – not the best of his disciples, nor the perfect of men, but a “thief”.

Maybe your “man” would not come the way you expect. Just as the way the Israelites expected the Messiah to be born in the palace not in a manger… My dear be open-minded… good Christians are not born, they are made… the most devout of Christians most often times were not born Christians…

What I am saying is that you should keep an open mind and don’t restrict your heart to finding him in your church or among the young pastors in your Church…

God would bring not the best person for you, but the right person for you… please I would advise you [not to] take all relationship decisions to your pastor. Better talk to your parents than your pastor… just my advise o! I’m not saying your pastor is not good in such issues.

You would be fine… live and be happy… don’t let the pressure overwhelm you.

And this one really broke it down:

does it mean all the good men are already taken

Stop being too conservative; you said you’re an indoor person. If you keep staying indoors WHO would see you? Come out of the shell and let ‘’the product’’ be seen and heard.

Your appearance matters a lot – you need to look good 24/7 but in a generally accepted way. (Neither too holy looking nor too sinful looking). If you are fat – loose the weight. Most guys (like me) ABHORE FAT GIRLS as wife beacause they look lazy, dirty and sexually unattractive.

Your character too; carrying Bible and going to church everyday DOES NOT MEAN you are good natured. Even satan goes to church these days and calls himself ‘’pastor’’. BE SINCERELY GOOD NATURED. BE OPEN MINDED. BE SIMPLE NATURED.

When a joke is funny laugh – be yourself in a good mannered way. Let people see that you are humble. Be accommodating with ALL classes of people. When you come across ‘’drunkards, party freaks’’ and poor/ christian men, DON’T CARRY YOUR NOSE UP; their brother might just be Mr Perfect or Mr Perfect might just be watching you.

Be perfect in courtesy. Learn to greet anyone/everyone politely. Greeting alone has given thousands of girls husbands.

Be positive minded – imagine good things and smile and pray for them to come.

Let’s conclude  with this one who gave her own advice/suggestions by telling her experience with her own sister:

I have an elder sister who will be 30 years next year. She’s unmarried too, and she’s a good  christian but she’s very judgemental.

I say it without an iota of doubt that she’s been single this long because of her judgemental nature. And I have noticed that is one thing many self-acclaimed “good  christians” have in common.

So if before now you have maintained a self-righteous attitude, madam, I tell you today that you have a long way to go because no one will ever be good enough for you. Please, I will advise you to maintain your virtues as a woman, but embrace the quality of open mindedness.

Learn to relate with people and learn from them instead of judging them before they even come close. People will always have excesses. It’s not yours to write them off, but to live peaceably with all men as much as you can.

By becoming more  accommodating and open-minded concerning people, you will understand that we are all different because of our cultures, upbringing, orientation and even religious beliefs and this will help you have a better approach towards people and things.

However, do not mistake my post to mean that I am accusing you decisively of being judgemental or narrow minded. I’m just saying that if you are, please make an attempt to change; it could be holding you back more than you know. I am emphasizing this because I live with someone who is and I know how much it has affected her.

May God direct your path, I can’t say anything outside this because I’m just 21 yrs, very single and I don’t have too much I about all these marriage issues. I will also like to tell you to do something because you want to, not because of pressure [from other people]. That has helped me in a lot of my doings. I leave you with this. May God be your guide.


What would be your advice to a Christian lady waiting for the right man to marry? Let the conservation continue in the comment section.

Some Advice To A Christian Sister Waiting For Mr. Right – Part 1

does it mean all the good men are already taken

In 2013, a Nigerian Christian lady published an online post on the frustrations she was facing waiting for the right man to get married to. According to her, she was under immense pressure from her family to get married.

The good part was that she was ready to get married and two she knew the kind of husband she wanted: a godly man who is filled with the word of God, a lover of God and a man fit to be a minister of the gospel.

But the bad part was that such a man was not forth coming her way (yet). And she was getting tired waiting…

“Where on earth is this man?” she had asked in utter frustration. “And does it mean all the good men are already taken?”

Let’s take a deeper peep into her situation as she narrated in her own words:

I never thought I’d be the lady staying calm and waiting almost endlessly for the one I would spend the rest of my life with; the one who would one day become my husband and the father of my children, my best friend and love.

I am a christian and have noticed that I have a thing for Christian men who are filled with the word of God. Needless to say that I would eventually be getting into ministry in my older years, and every prophetic word I have heard about my marriage has pointed to the fact that the man God has prepared for me would also most likely be in ministry and a huge God lover.

Now the thing is where on earth is this man? I am tired of waiting and I don’t want to make a mistake.

I am in my late 20’s slowly approaching 30 soon and would like to settle [down in marriage] within the next one year.

My family is putting a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of having to remain sane while waiting for my own [man].

I have indeed met a lot of other men who I dare not settle with. eg party rockers, drinkers, womanizers and the rest. Does it mean that all the good men are taken?

Aside waiting, I also want to feel loved, wanted and appreciated. I want him so much already.

I am a professional lady, I am yoruba, I am gentle, kind hearted and want to continue serving God. What can I do to remain calm? (Source: Nairaland )


I felt touched by the sister’s post, hence I decided to offer my two cents in response. (Bear in mind this was way back in 2013).

You sound like a decent girl, so I would say there is no need to become desperate…. And don’t let anyone, family members inclusive, unduly pressure you into Marriage. The danger in that is that you might end up with the wrong guy.

Bear in mind that 28 is not too old [to get married]. I understand your anxiety but be careful not to descend into desperation….

Right now, instead of worrying about hooking up with the right man, you concentrate on being the right lady and the right man will find you at the right time.

Trust in God to give you the right man. In the midst of wolves parading as men, God knows the right man for the right woman.

Be convinced that God loves you enough to give you the best husband. There are still some good men, husband material, out there, looking for someone like you.

But like they say, if you don’t define, you won’t find. So Please take time to list out the things you want in your husband. Everyday, look at the list, be positive about it; envision him come to you. It may sound funny but it works.

With that frame of mind, you can now pray: Oh Lord, wherever my husband is, let him locate me. Bring him to me or take me to where he is so we can meet each other.

It worked for me that way. And today, my wife and I are happily married. You will soon testify too.


As you would rightly expect, there was a barrage of other advice or suggestions in response to that post. Some of them are not worth your time, so I won’t bother to share them here.

However, there were some I considered very useful, and I will share a few of them here with the hope that someone in similar situation may learn from it.

Check out this one first:

woman praying

I understand your frustration and exhaustive patience. However, He makes all things beautiful in His time and not our time. A lot of single ladies have made terrible and life threatening mistakes because of impatience.

While waiting for the right man, keep adding values to yourself, study good and bad marriages to learn how a home should be, read books and enjoy your singlehood to the maximum in a godly way.

“The vision may tarry, wait for it, it shall speak…” You need to exercise patience and trust God with all your heart. Need I add that this is the time you should draw closer to God – not for what He can give but pleasing and doing His will.

So my sister, do not let your age or pressure from any source push you to do what is not right. Do not mind people talking about you closing in to 30. I wonder the importance of the age if one lives a useless life.

And this one:

…All I can say is that He is preparing you for the task ahead in your ministry and in your home. See this waiting period as an opportunity for you to develop yourself spiritually as it would come in handy when you get married. You will agree with me that staying married is more important than getting married.

And then this:

You are just 28 so its not yet time to press the panic button and please do not let anyone pressure you yet. You say you love Christian men so at least you know what you want. So the question is where are you likely to get Christian men?

Church is the simple answer! Again not all men in Church are Christians but I believe you have the Spirit of God and you will be able to tell the difference.

I also encourage you to get more involved in Church activities, Bible study, mid-week service, become a worker and put yourself in a position where you will meet Christian men. Again be careful because lots of bad boys are in church these days; but you have the Spirit of God in you and you will know the difference.

I can even suggest you try to get close to your Pastor or his wife. Lots of Pastors actually do hook-ups with Church members these days and if your pastor is nice, he could hook you up with a nice gentleman in church.

Again, tell your friends and their husbands too that they could hook you up with their friends or cousins etc. You just can’t stay at home and expect Mr. Right to come around. Some people don’t like hook-ups but I see nothing wrong in it.

Lastly you say you are a professional, do you have friends where you work? Try to be accommodating more and go for Christmas parties and office parties, you could meet someone there as well.

But please make sure you know what you want in a man because there are devils out there who are just waiting to prey on young innocent girls like you so be careful. You are a Christian and remember the virtues of Christianity. God help you.


What would be your own advice to the lady in question?

On You, Stress And Trust In God

Stress and trust

Have you ever had that feeling of being emotionally overloaded and you are struggling to cope with demands of life? If your answer is yes, I’m afraid you might be experiencing what is called “stress.”

And if you are experiencing stress, what is the implication to you? I mean what does your stress level reveal to you if you are a believer in Jesus Christ?

Generally speaking, what do you understand by the word ‘stress’?

“Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension. It can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Stress is your body’s reaction to a challenge or demand. In short bursts, stress can be positive, such as when it helps you avoid danger or meet a deadline” (MedlinePlus).

If stress can be positive, it means there is negative stress as well. According to those who should know, “Stress becomes negative when a person faces continuous challenges without relief or relaxation between stressors. As a result, the person becomes overworked, and stress-related tension builds.”

As a believer in Christ, beyond the common understanding of stress as a ” feeling of emotional or physical tension,” you should also note that stress has some far-reaching implications for you; it reveals your spiritual condition (the centre of your focus) at the point you are being stressed.

So what does stress reveal about you?

How stress affects your trust in God
Drs. Dennis & Jennifer Clark with Dr. Sid Roth (Source: Youtube)

In an episode of Sid Roth’s It’s Supernatural on youtube, I watched the host interview Drs. Dennis and Jennifer Clark. The couple are pastors in ministry and are involved in helping people overcome toxic emotional feelings and setting them free from emotional bondage, no matter how long those negative feelings have been held.

Towards the middle of that interview, Dr. Roth asked the following question, “Doctors tell us that stress is really bad; it causes lots of problems. What do do you say?”

Dr. Dennis Clark’s response to that question was really an eye-opener for me. That’s why I’m sharing it with you here, with the hope that it benefits you too:

“I say stress can be a friend. It can tell you that Jesus isn’t ruling at that point in time. By definition, stress means you’re emotionally controlled by people or circumstances. And you cannot be stressed and trust God at the same time. It’s a physiological and spiritual impossibility.”

I was like wow; this is fantastic! I never saw stress in that light before. Did you see what I meant when I said it was an eye-opener?

Now let’s break it down further:

1. Stress can be your friend as a believer in Christ. In other words, it lets you know that Jesus is not ruling in your heart at that time; you are not walking in the spirit or you have (temporarily) shifted your heart away from God.

2. Stress means that you are emotionally being controlled by people or circumstances. In other words, you are not the one in control of the situations in your life. And if you are not in control, something or someone is controlling you (and it’s not God!). What is that thing or who is that person controlling you?

3. You can not be stressed and trust God at the same time. According to Dr Clark, it is not physiologically and spiritually possible to do so. So it means that as a believer, the more you are stressed the more you will found it difficult to trust God.

***

I believe you have seen a fresh perspective of what stress reveals about you as a believer in Christ: If you are stressed, it means you are not trusting God. I hope you will take appropriate measures to refocus your heart and your trust.

Thank you for reading and what do you think?

The Implication Of Worrying (As A Believer In Christ)

Why do christians worry?

What does it mean to worry?

It means to “feel or cause to feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems.” So when you worry, it means you are in a state of anxiety and trouble “over actual or potential problems.”

Broadly speaking, “Worry refers to the thoughts, images, emotions, and actions of a negative nature in a repetitive, uncontrollable manner that results from a proactive cognitive risk analysis made to avoid or solve anticipated potential threats and their potential consequences” (Wikipedia).

As a believer in Christ, you know you are not supposed to worry so much. But you worry all the same. Why?

You worry to the point that stress overwhelms you, emotionally or otherwise. That’s not the situation you should put yourself in.

Jesus said in Matthew chapter 6 (NLT):

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? … 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? …

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[e] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Lack of faith

As Jesus said we should not worry, it means it is within our control not to worry. So that tells me you are not speaking the truth if you say, “I can’t help worrying.”

Of course you can help it if you make up your mind to do so. Worrying does not grip you without your consent.

You play an active role whenever you are worrying, How? By being actively involved in a pattern of negative thinking over real or imagined situations.

As a believer in Christ, can you deal with worrying? I would say yes! If you can refocus, you can deal with it. But a lot will depend on your answer to the following question:

What’s Your Priority?

Before Jesus said we should not worry about tomorrow, He emphasized the need for us to make seeking the Kingdom of God the greatest priority of our lives. In His words:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33, NLT

As believers in Christ, seeking the Kingdom of God should be our main focus – our priority. The purpose of doing that is to enable us embed our trust in God and not on the daily pursuits of life.

The truth is that if the daily pursuits of life become your main focus and topmost priority (at the expense of kingdom focus) worrying will become a natural consequence.

The Implication

When you worry, it should be a sign to you that you have shifted your focus from God to other things. And worrying has its consequences; it causes emotional stress, even physical ailments.

So let your mind’s main focus be on God and your worries will be a lot less. As Prophet Isaiah says, God keeps you in perfect peace (worry-free) if your mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3).

What do you think?

International Men’s Day: What For?

Every one of us have men in our lives. We have them as our fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, cousins, pastors, colleagues, friends, neighbours, employers, employees, doctors, to name but a few.

These people influence our lives and positively impact the society as well. Sometimes we celebrate them (like on father’s day), sometimes we don’t. But each one of us should have at least one reason to celebrate the men in our lives.

What for? The work hard to make our lives and society better. They provide leadership, provision, protection and so on so forth for us.

I’m not suggesting that men should become the object of our collective worship. But I’m saying there is nothing wrong with celebrating men for their immense contribution to the well-being of the society.

Today is that day set aside around the world for such celebration; every year, the 19th day of November is observed as International Men’s Day (IMD). And by extension, November is sometimes referred to as International Men’s month.

Now, the question is, “What is the purpose of having an International Men’s Day?” It is generally understood as an “occasion to celebrate boys and men’s achievements and contributions, in particular for their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care. The broader and ultimate aim of the event is to promote basic humanitarian values” (Wikipedia).

Did you notice that boys were included alongside men to be celebrated? That is to say, it is a day earmarked to celebrate the male gender’s contribution to society. (Sorry ladies, you can wait till the 20th day of the month of March when the next International Women’s Day will be celebrated).

Objectives of international men's day

In pursuing the objective of celebrating men’s and boy’s positive contribution to society, special focus is made on some specific areas of boy’s and men’s lives. These are encapsulated in what is referred to as:

The 6 Pillars of International Men’s Day

According to the IMD’s website, the objectives of the International Men’s Day are as listed below:

  1. To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men but every day, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.
  2. To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment.
  3. To focus on men’s health and well-being; social, emotional, physical and spiritual.
  4. To highlight discrimination against men; in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law.
  5. To improve gender relations and promote gender equality
  6. To create a safer, better world; where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

These are noble objectives you might say. But to which extent are they being achieved? That’s a question for another day!

Meanwhile, if you are a male reading this, don’t just read and walk away indifferently. I would like you to take another look at the six objectives listed above as a form of self evaluation to enable you identify areas for possible personal improvement.

If you are like me, we know we have not been the best we could be or did the best we could do in those stated cardinal areas. That’s to say, there is still room for improvement for all of us boys and men.

On the other hand, if you are a non-male, you may also want to evaluate the six objectives to identify the ones that appeal to you most. You can then help the men and boys around you improve in those areas of their lives or simply suggest to them as specific areas of improvement.

Happy International Men’s Day!

Let the conversation continue in the comment section.

Applying Future Review Questions To Someone You Just Met (and Want a Relationship With)

Victor Uyanwanne

Let’s assume you know where you are going, or what you want in life. That’s great and commendable on your part because many people you will find around you have not yet figured that out.

If you happen to meet someone like that whom you are interested in or whom who desire a relationship with, but you are not sure exactly where they are in their lives or what they want in future, one way you can find out is to ask them the right questions. With the right questions about their future plans, you will be able to gain an insight into the kind of  future such people envisage for themselves.

That brings us to the point where we can talk about what is known as future review questions.

Future review questions are the questions you ask so “you can help other people (and yourself) to clarify what’s important for their future” (R. J Adams). For instance, “How do you see yourself in the next five years” is a future review question.

Future review questions help people to describe a preferred future; help them to paint a “portrait of their life as they desire it to be.” It is about articulating the things that are important to you, without which you would not consider life to be satisfying.

It makes sense to find out where your would-be ‘relationship partner’ stand on this. Right? Continue reading…

The Possible Scenarios

There are at least three possibilities that will unfold once you begin to ask future review questions to someone you just met and with whom you are interested in establishing a warm relationship with:

  1. He or she will be willing and is able to respond to your questions by clearly painting the portrait of the future that he or she desires. In other words, he or she will readily answer your future review questions;
  • He or she is willing but unable to clearly describe the kind of the future he or she desires. In other words, he or she has some difficulties answering your future review questions;
  • He or she is not willing to go into that kind of discussion with you. In other words, he or she refuses to answer your future review questions.

What ever response you might get from any of the three situations described above will give you a huge insight into the kind of person you are dealing with and how to further relate with him or her going forward. Please stay with me, you will find some useful hints on how to go about it.

Further Explanations

In his online book, How To Find A Good Christian Wife, And Keep Her, R. J. Adams gives us a detailed explanation or suggestions on how to handle any of those three scenarios. Although his explanations were given chiefly in the context of a single man seeking for relationship with a woman, I believe the underlining principles could also be applied to other forms of mutually beneficial relationships of interest to you.

Please hear him:

With those people who readily answer your question, you will likely have an interesting conversation about what is most important to them and what would make them satisfied. In those cases where you can add something to their preferred future, or where you can help them achieve their desired results, you have the basis for a long and satisfying friendship or relationship. In cases where you cannot help them, perhaps you can recommend a resource who can.

With people who have difficulty answering your future review question, help them by asking a series of smaller questions. Help them articulate the things that are important to them. Ask what they would like to do, where they would like to go, what they would like to have. Ask how they would prefer spending their time, what kind of people they want to be with, and so on. This can be a very creative and stimulating discussion.

…One of the greatest services you can perform for these people is to coach them to think through and talk about their desired outcomes. And, here again, if you can help make their future come true for them, you have just established the foundation for a great relationship.

What about the people who refuse to answer your future review question? Their unwillingness to answer likely means one of two things. First, their commitment may be to the past, not the future. They may not have thought about their future as something where they have any influence.

Secondly, their unwillingness to share their desired future with you may indicate a lack of trust. In either case, you have no basis for a relationship. Some people don’t have the courage or desire to dream, or they don’t trust you enough to share their thoughts with you. Don’t waste your time. Move on to someone else…”
(emphasis mine).

***

What do you think?

7 Simple Ways Of Dealing With Your Spouse’s Imperfections

“No body is perfect,” goes the popular saying. The truth of that statement is particularly obvious in a committed marital union between a man and woman.

Except you want to deceive yourself, you will gladly own up to the fact that the person you married is not a spotless angel. But this is no time to begin pointing accusing fingers at your spouse as the one with the most imperfections, because as you know, you yourself are not without some blemishes.

In other words, you often fall below each other’s expectations. Despite these imperfections, both of you can still be at peace with each other and hopefully be happier too.

If that is part of your marital goal, then you will allow me to proffer a few suggestions that will be helpful to you in that respect:

Here are seven simple ways you can deal with the imperfections of your spouse:

1. Accept that your spouse is not perfect

Your spouse is not an angel, so don’t expect that he or she will not make mistakes sometimes. And when that happens, please do show some understanding.

Truth be told, neither you nor your spouse is perfect. Perhaps you should let this guide your expectations so that you suffer less frustrations when your spouse’s behaviour falls below your esteemed expectations.

2. Be patient with your spouse

If you have come to terms with the fact that your spouse is not perfect and you are committed to loving him or her despite that, I am going to add that you should be patient with him or her.

I will not promise you that your spouse will grow into a faultless angel someday. But I can at least opine that if he or she is committed to your marriage as you are, there will be remarkable positive change of behaviour over time when you exercise the due patience with.

person sitting in front of table with plant

3. Maintain your sanity

Your spouse will ‘lose it’ sometimes and when that happens be sure to keep your own sanity and be at your best behaviours. Things will go downhill in your marriage if both of you decide to vent and and get mad at each other at the same time.

A wise spouse once told the better-half, “If you spit fire, I will vomit water.” The point here is, you and your spouse should not be spitting fire at the same time.

4. Talk things over with your spouse

In as much as I want you to cut some slack for your spouse, there will be times when it is important you talk things over with him or her. But you have to be gentle and nice over it, else you might trigger a volcanic eruption in the process.

In talking things over with your spouse, be humble, loving and considerate. Resist the temptation of pointing accusing fingers at each other.  Instead of looking for who is wrong, focus on what is wrong and deal with it.

If your spouse raises his or voice in the process, keep yours low. Apologise where necessary and accept responsibility as appropriate.

Engage in the conversation in such a away that it strengthens your marriage and not in a way that tears it apart.

5. Avoid the silent treatment

There are times silence may be golden, but at times too, it can be a time-bomb waiting to explode. I trust that you know the difference. While it is not okay to shout at your spouse, on the other hand, don’t use the silent treatment as a tool for affliction in marriage.

It is good to keep silent sometimes in order not to offend in words or as part of your anger management strategy. But if your spouse desires commmunication with you, do not give him or her the silent treatment to punish him or her for what they did to you.

6. Celebrate your spouse’s strength

Despite your spouse’s so-called imperfections, he or she must have some strengths as well. Identify those strengths and celebrate them.

I am totally convinced that your spouse is not a good-for-nothing fellow, otherwise you would not have married him or her. So I am telling you for free that you can manage your spouse’s imperfections better by focusing on his or her strengths and celebrating them.

Compliment your spouse’s good behaviours and be less critical of the bad ones. It is not easy to do, but it is worth the try.

woman praying beside tree

7. Pray regularly for your spouse

It is not enough for you to talk to your spouse. You should also talk to God about spouse – not in form of endless bitter complaints but in form of regular loving prayers.

Trying to force a change in behaviour on your spouse may be counter-productive. But when you pray, you invite God to handle the situation in the best possible way.

Don’t say you don’t know what to pray about concerning your spouse. Are there things you like about your spouse? I believe the answer is yes. Begin your prayers by thanking God for those things.

Also, the things that annoy you about him or her should be part of the things you should pray about. Your dreams for her, the things she cares about, her personal goals are some of the things you can pray for your wife about.

***

You have read my views. Let’s hear yours in the comment section.


©Copyright 2019 | Victor Uyanwanne

3 Ways You Can Capture Coachable Moments With Your Kids

Parenting

As a parent, how much do you even realise that you are your children’s number one life coach? When it comes to coaching your kids, do not underestimate your role as a parent, and please do not be lazy playing that role in your children’s lives.

You may assume that your kids will know some things on their own, but then you get to find out they don’t. You may also assume that they should be taught everything in school, but at last you get to discover they weren’t. That means there is a learning gap between what they are supposed to know and what they actually do know.

In what little ways can you bridge that gap with your kids in a way that engenders good rapport between you and them? Of course, there might be many ways to that end. But in this post, I will suggest capturing the coachable moments with them.

Coachable or teachable moments’ refer to those unplanned or informal opportunities for you as a parent to have conversations with your kids or wards with the aim of helping them to solve problems or learn a good lesson they could use in life. It is about impacting valuable lessons to your kids while life is at play.

Here are 3 ways you capture the coachable moments with your kids

1. Don’t be an absentee parent

One good advice I can give you as a parent is this: be there for your kids. And I know being there for your kids can take many forms. For instance, it can be about providing for them or paying their school fees. Any average parent would score high on those.

But how about being physically available for them as their life coauch? Certainly life will throw up coachable moments, but if you are not there for them, how can you take up that little responsibitlity?

2. Look out for coachable moments

When you are there for your kids, you will often find some coachable moments to explore. They abound in  your everyday relationship or activities with them. Train your eyes (and your other senses) to recognise coachable moments with your kids and you will surely find some.

Whether you are at the dining table with them,or watching television together or you are driving them to school, always look out for coachable moments. If you are not looking for, you may pass the opportunities when they present themselves.

3. Utilise the coachable moments

When life hands you a coachable moment with your kids, please don’t flunk it. The coachable moment may come in two ways: an opportunity for you to reinforce an observed positive behaviour or correct a bad behaviour.

In either case, utilising the coachable moments enables you as parent mould your kids or wards into better version of themselves.

***

As a parent, if you are there for your kids or wards, life will definitely hand you some coachable moments. Look out for such moments in your every day activities with your kids. And when you do find them, take advantage of those moments and impart lessons that will help your kids or wards become better versions of themselves


Have you had any coachable moments with your kids? Please share your experience in the comment section.

Is The Bible Creating Atheists?

How are atheists made? Does the Bible contribute in creating atheists? Instead of revealing God to us, is the Bible now taking people away from God?

I asked those questions not because I don’t believe in the Bible anymore, neither is it because I do not know the purpose of the Bible. But because I want to frontally address a wrong notion a reader has about the Bible and atheism.

One atheist who commented on one of my posts has alleged that “the Bible is the best book for creating atheists.” I would not let that pass just like that because it’s possible there are some other people with that same kind of erroneous thinking.

First and foremost, any Christian worth the name will not dispute the divine inspiration of the Bible, neither will he or she agree with the suggestion that the Bible creates atheists. But in the interest of those who may not be so grounded, further examination may be necessary.

To examine the claim that the Bible is the best book for creating atheists, we would just take a quick look at what purpose the Bible serves.

In his second letter to Timothy, apostle Paul categorically stated the inspiration behind, and the purpose of, the (Bible) Scriptures:

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, fully equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

From that verse, we can see that the Bible scripture was inspired by God and is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” and “to equip us for every good work.”

Purpose of the Bible

As one source puts it, “The Bible is great literature and the all-time number-one best-seller. It contains history, entertaining stories, poetry, philosophy, and personal letters. But, more than that, the Bible is God’s Word. If we have to speak of a single purpose of the Bible, it would be to reveal God to us. There are many things that we could never know about God unless He told them to us. The Bible is God’s self-revelation to humanity. The Bible also tells us who we are. It tells us of our sin and of God’s plan of salvation in Jesus Christ.”

Despite the reality described above, there are people who have a complete misunderstanding of what the Bible is about. And that’s rather unfortunate.

Recently on this blog, I had an extended interaction with an atheist who read and commented on one of my posts. At some point during the online conversation, the atheist made the following comment about the Bible and God:

The bible has numerous books filled with violence and much of this violence is by your god. It sounds like he has no idea how to be a god of peace. Doesn’t he have an anger management problem, if he exists? No wonder that the bible is the best book for creating atheists. You need to read it properly.

My response to him went as follows:

If you believe that God has an anger issue, it means you are admitting that He exists in the first place. When you are honest about that, we can begin to explore the nature of God, which obviously you have misunderstood. Your claim about the Bible being a book for creating atheists is malicious. You know it’s not true. You became an atheist by your choice… so stop blaming it on the Bible.

Conclusions

I don’t know what everyone else think. But in my own opinion, the Bible is not a book for creating atheists. So it could not have been the best book for doing so as claimed by that reader.

Anyone that chooses to become an atheist, does so out of his or her own volition. So it will be wrong to blame it on the Bible.

The Bible is a book about God and His people. It tells the story of man from creation till when the world will end and beyond. It is a book for conviction, instruction, correction in righteousness and it prepares us for good works.

The Bible serves to bring us closer to God; not to take us away from Him. To that effect, anyone who claims to have read the Bible back to back without discovering God in it has either read a different Bible or has read it with the wrong mindset.

What do you think say?

Dear Parents, Forgive Your Erring Children

The account of the ever popular story of the prodigal son in the Bible is one of the greatest stories of forgiveness ever written. Jesus told the story to demonstrate the unconditional love of God for us mankind.

No matter how much we think we have erred against God, He will always forgive and accept us if we come back home to Him. As Jesus Himself assured us, “…he that comes to me, I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37).

As parents, can we learn and apply that principle in the way we treat our erring children? I will like to answer ‘yes’ to that question.

The prodigal son’s father forgave his betrayal, disloyalty, rebellion, foolishness, greed, recklessness, haughtiness, impatience and extravagance. There is no reason we should not extend same kind of forgiveness to our erring children – irrespective of the offences they have committed, or will ever commit against us.

We do not easily give up on those we love – whatever they do to us. And we love our children. So why shouldn’t we always forgive them when they err against us?

As humble parents, we will admit that our children constantly do things that annoy us. Blame it on the effect of hormones or peer pressure or whatever reasons that may be adduced, our children may not always be at their best behaviours towards us. That’s the reality of the life we live in as the earthly custodians of those precious souls.

A humble parent forgives his/her children all their wrongs because he/she too needs forgiveness from the Father above.

So when our children fall below our expectations (they will definitely do), should we continue to hold it against them? I think we should forgive them!

Should we ostracize them when their behaviours embarrass us? I think we shouldn’t!

First and foremost, we owe forgiveness to our children for whatever offences they have committed or will ever commit against us. Forgiveness is good for our overall mental and emotional well-being. Besides, God Himself does not expect any less from us.

Secondly, we should never cut-off from our children because they broke our hearts. Whether we like it or not, we are bound to them forever by our blood relationship. So as parent’s we cannot should not disown our children when they err.

Just like the loving father forgave the biblical prodigal son, we should always forgive our erring children. No matter how grave the offences might be, let us find it in our hearts to forgive them. It is part of our calling as parents.

How do you think parents should handle their erring children?

The Mistakes Of The Sadducees

You have probably heard about the over-zealous group of people in the Bible known as the Sadducees. But if you are not sure who they are, the Gospel of Matthew has it that they are a group of religious leaders who did not believe in resurrection from the dead.

That same day Jesus was approached by some Sadducees—religious leaders who say there is no resurrection from the dead – Matthew 22:3, NIV.

These same arrogant people came to Jesus and began to ask him an impossible question about marriage after resurrection. Relying on the provisions of the laws of Moses on the responsibility of a man to his deceased childless brother, they contrived a theoretical case of seven brothers who had died childless and who had in turn been married to the same woman.

Let us read the encounter with the Sadducees together:

Matthew 22, NIV: 23…They posed this question: 24 “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies without children, his brother should marry the widow and have a child who will carry on the brother’s name.’ 25 Well, suppose there were seven brothers. The oldest one married and then died without children, so his brother married the widow. 26 But the second brother also died, and the third brother married her. This continued with all seven of them. 27 Last of all, the woman also died. 28 So tell us, whose wife will she be in the resurrection? For all seven were married to her.”

Wait a minute, I thought the Sadducees didn’t believe in resurrection from the dead? How come they were asking Jesus about “who will marry who” in the resurrection?

Obviously, they must have had an ulterior motive just like their counterpart, the Pharisees, who wanted to “trap Jesus into saying something for which he could be arrested” by asking Him the question of whether or not tax should be paid to the government authority of the day (see Matthew 22:15-22).

Gratefully, Jesus caught them in the act and He gave them the profound answers that inspired this post.

29 Jesus replied, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God30 For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven (emphasis mine).

How I love the wisdom of Jesus in tackling knotty situations!

There you have it. According to Jesus, the mistakes of the Sadducees are in two folds: Not knowing the Scriptures and not knowing the power of God.

What do you think?

Why Share Your Testimonies?

Has God ever done anything great for you? If nothing (which I doubt), what about the testimony of your salvation?

That’s assuming that you have given the lordship of your life over to Jesus Christ. And even if you have not, it doesn’t mean God never been good to you.

The truth is that if you think well enough, you will find something in your life that you are immensely grateful for, that you should be thanking God for and also be sharing with people around you.

It is a good thing to stand before people and testify of the goodness of God in your life. David once declared, “I will praise you to all my brothers; I will stand up before the congregation and testify of the wonderful things you have done” (Psalm 22:22, TLB)

So why don’t you want to share your testimonies?

Is it fear or shame or pride that is hindering you  from talkingt about the Lord’s goodness in your life? Aren’t you grateful God came through for you when you needed His help?

Whatever is it, let nothing stop you from sharing your testimonies of what God has done for you.

Sharing your your testimonies will bring the following benefits:

sharing your testimonies

1. Sharing your testimonies brings glory to God

The purpose of your testimony is to draw attention to God, not to put you on a pedestal of some sort. It is to exalt the name of the Lord before your audience.

Provided that you do not lie or exaggerate your testimonies, you bring glory to God whenever you share or testify of what God has done for you.

When you hoard your testimonies (and that’s what you do when you refuse to share them with people), you deny God the opportunity to be glorified or exalted before the people around you.

Don’t hold back any more; Share your testimonies with people, because doing so brings immense glory to God and shame to the devil.

2. Sharing your testimonies strengthen your faith in God

It is a thing of joy for you to openly talk about what God has done for you. Apart from the emotional relief or satisfaction it brings to you, it also empowers your faith in God.

It gives you that feeling that the God who delivered you now will do so for you again next time.

In the dialogue between King Saul and the shepherd boy David before the latter when to fight Goliath, David testified,

“The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” Saul said to David, “Go, and the LORD be with you” (2 Samuel 17:37).

It was this testimony that inspired David to confront and completely defeat the war veteran known as Goliath

Testimonies are part of your spiritual weapons. Remember the following words in Revelation, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…” (12:11).

3. Sharing your testimonies encourages other people to trust God more

Apart from strengthening your own faith in God, sharing your testimonies can also encourage your hearers.

Let’s say you were in a pit and God delivered you from it. Right now many people are in the same pit you once were. Sharing the testimony of how God delivered you will inspire hope in them and strengthen their faith in God for possible deliverance as well.

Your testimony has the potential of revealing God to people or pointing to them to God. So it is a great disservice to people around you if you fail to share your God-given testimonies with them.

4. Sharing your testimonies slaps the devil big time

If sharing your God-given testimonies brings glory to God, it automatically has the opposite effect on the devil. It shames him and beats him up big time.

Understand this: if your pride stops you from sharing the testimonies of what God has done for you, you are in effect giving the devil opportunity to smile. I will assume that’s not what you want to keep doing.

***

It is a good thing to share with people the testimony of what God has done for you. When you do so, you bring glory to God, you strengthen your faith in God, you encourage other people to trust in God more and you bring shame to the devil.

Do you find it easy or feel ashamed to share your testimonies? Leave us a comment or two.


©Copyright 2019 | Victor Uyanwanne

Has God Heard From You In a While?

prayer

I recently watched a movie that inspired the title of this post. It was about a best–selling author who suddenly began to face unexpected personal and financial challenges.

Missed writing deadlines, tax issues, relationship break downs, debts, etc. were some of the pressing issues she was seen to be grappling with. All these made her insensitive, irritable, rude, cold-hearted and unproductive – to the dismay of her friends and family.

The good part was that she knew things weren’t going on so well with her. she tried to concoct various plans as quick-fixes for her nagging problems.

At one point she seriously contemplated ‘relocating’ to another continent (from America to Africa) to have more time for herself. But she never went through with the plan.

In another occasion, she tried selling off her father’s restaurant business in order to raise the needed funds to settle her outstanding tax and other financial obligations that threatened to have her being put behind prison bars. But her parents opposed this idea very strongly, assuring her that there must be better ways of handling the issues.

Now this is where I am going…

In the heat of her crisis and rejection, this protagonist knelt down in her room and began to sob and to pray saying, “Oh Lord, I know You have not heard from me in a while…”

In what seemed like a short but a heartfelt prayer to God, she poured out her confusion, fears, and problems before God. Although all her problems didn’t varnish all at once, it seemed that things began to work out better for her from then onward.

“Oh Lord, I know You have not heard from me in a while…” That opening line alone got me giggling aloud.

God hasn’t heard from her, or rather, she hadn’t talked to Him in weeks, in months or possibly in years. But now in her predicaments, she remembered she could still talk to God.

You see, it reminds me about people who once had a relationship with God but are now estranged from Him. God hasn’t heard from them in a while too!

May be you are even one of such people. If only you would get back to God like this woman in our discourse or like the prodigal son got back to the waiting embrace of his father. Things would be better for you again.

***

Do you have any comment about this post? Let’s have your opinion in the comment section.


©Copyright 2019 | Victor Uyanwanne

Another Look At The Meaning Of Tolerance

What does “tolerance” mean to you?

I know the word is not new to you as people frequently use it. What I don’t know is how much of its real meaning you have understood and applied in your own sphere of influence.

You may probably have been tempted to think that tolerance strictly means to put up with something or someone with very nasty, horrible, terrible or poignant attributes. Not really!

Please take a good look at the definition below and compare it with what you already know about the meaning of the word:

Tolerance:

“Willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs which are different from your own.”

 

I don’t know about you, but the definition above opened up an entirely new vista to me, of which I am glad.

It shows for instance that tolerance doesn’t say we should put up with evil or bad things or bad people. But it clearly portrays “willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs which are different from [our] own.”

Now let’s take a closer look at the key aspects of the said definition:

• Willingness to accept…
• Behaviour and beliefs…
• Different from your own…

Tolerance would be required wherever there are inter-human relationships because you will always meet people whose behaviour and beliefs are different from yours.

That’s why tolerance may also be understood as “the ability or willingness to tolerate the existence or opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with.

That means you can disagree with someone without going to war with him or her.

It means you should have an open mind towards someone even when he or she has an opinion that is completely different from yours.

Due to a number of varied factors such as genetic make-up, family background, religion, education, geography, exposure, life experiences etc, all of us believe different things and behave differently from one another.

That means that at any point in time in your chequered life, you will always see people who behave or believe differently from you; whose opinions about issues are not like yours. 

The question would then be, “how would you deal with such people?”

group of people standing on dock beside body of water

In order to coexist harmoniously with such people, you should be willing to tolerate them if you cannot change them.

Talking about changing people, experience has shown that many people are aware that some other people do not share their opinions, behaviour or beliefs.

But some times, they are unwilling to accept such other people who do not share their outlook. This is often the beginning of unnecessary conflicts in human interactions.

However, you may only try to effect some changes on peoples’ behaviour or beliefs if possible to suite yours; but you shouldn’t try to use force.

By the way, you can’t change anyone who doesn’t really want to be changed. You can only influence such person.

When it comes to changing someone’s behaviour or beliefs, influence should be the operating word, not force.

Otherwise, you must bring to bare the willingness to accept their behaviour and beliefs which you perceive to be different from your own and which you cannot change.

That, my friend, is the real meaning of tolerance.

Bear in mind that tolerance is a seed; as you sow it, you will reap the sweet harvest.

Don’t you realise that other people would have to tolerate you too?

I believe you know that not all your opinions, behaviour and beliefs are acceptable to everyone you come in contact with!

Although, I cannot guarantee it, other people too ought to be willing to accept your opinions, behaviour and beliefs which are different from their own. That is if they know what it means to practice tolerance.

There is no worthwhile relationships with people that do notnot requ tolerance in between.

Like all good habits, tolerance doesn’t just happen to us; it has to be cultivated deliberately and ‘open-heartedly’.

It is very important to cultivate it because you will need it if you desire to build a meaningful, harmonious and long-lasting relationship of any kind.

Here are a few areas where we can apply the principle of tolerance:

At home, between spouses , amongst siblings or other family members;
At work, between you and your boss, colleagues or direct reports;
In your neighbourhood, amongst co-tenants, etc
Amongst your friends, classmates in schools etc
In churches, with members and leaders alike;
In other organisations /relationships, etc

In fact, anywhere you come in contact with humans, tolerance is needed. As you well know, no body is perfect.

People are different. You are not everyone and everyone is not you. Therefore, there will always be differences in opinion, behaviour and beliefs between you and others.

There would be conflicts all the time in all kinds of human relationships if the principle of tolerance is not imbibed.

The extent to which you realise this differences and how well you are willing to accept and manage them depict your level of tolerance at any given period.

What does tolerance mean to you? Let’s hear from you in the comment section.

******

Previously published on this blog in 2015 as “What tolerance really means.”

Mr. Know All

Because he is so bright.
He thinks all his ways are right.
So he went only his way.
But, alas, he went astray!

He feels he knows everything
He doesn’t want to be taught anything
But indeed he is truly short-sighted
He who doesn’t want to be guided

Whether in his aggressive action
Or in his cool but calculated inaction
If he doesn’t want to hear out any body
He might end up becoming a nobody

Portraits of Mr Know All

“It’s my life; this is my world”
Will always be his word
But he forgets to remember
That one alone is too small a number.

He’s been planting the seed of loneliness
Sure he will meet with shameful ugliness.
If he doesn’t change now his ways
He’s heading for the way that never pays.

If he never learns from the rest
His abode will soon turn into a forest.
Cos he’s standing on the sand that sinks
He’ll end up in a hole that stinks.

Already, he’s heading towards destruction
Because he completely abhors instruction.
Soonest will be his day of reckoning
Clearly, to him the devil is beckoning.

Had he loved good instruction
He wouldn’t go in the wrong direction.
Could we then say all is well?
He’s gone farther than we can tell.

There might still be a way out
If for help he’ll open his mouth to shout
But his pride reaches the imposing sky
Like the Everest standing so high.


First published in two parts as “Mr Know All 1&2” on my Wise Poems blog.

©Copyright 2019 | Victor Uyanwanne

Three Lifelong Useful Skills You Should Start Developing Right Now

men's black suit jacket

The following is an outline of a 15-minute pep-talk I delivered at a breakfast meeting held by a small group of professional friends. I thought I should share it with you. Who knows, you might pick up one or two things from it.

1. Oratorial Skill 

Meaning

Ability to speak properly and eloquently.

Benefits:

  • Helps you to create the right impression
  • Enables you to be more persuasive
  • Enhances your leadership skill

Cautions:

  • Don’t talk too much.
  • Don’t say what you don’t mean.
  • Don’t manipulate people.

2. Negotiation Skill

Meaning

The process by which compromise or agreement is reached while avoiding argument and dispute: a method by which people settle differences.

Benefits:

  • Makes you less confrontational.
  • Helps you to save cost.
  • Increases your sense of satisfaction in any deal.

Cautions:

  • Don’t take advantage of people.
  • Don’t be mean.
  • Be fair; seek win-win outcomes.

caution wet floor signage on gray rocks in seashore

 

3. Selling Skill

Meaning

Ability to hand over or give something in exchange for money.

Benefits:

  • Boosts your self confidence.
  • Helps you to market your ideas, service or product better.
  • Increases your income or earning power.

Cautions:

  • Overcome the temptation to lie.
  • Don’t sell what is against your conscience.
  • Sell only what has value.

Ways to develop your oratorial, negotiation and selling skills

  • Desire
  • Observation
  • Learning
  • Preparation
  • Practice
  • More Practice

Ending Quote:

“I really believe that everyone has a talent, ability or skill that they can mine to support themselves and to succeed in life.” ~ Dean Koontz


©Copyright 2019| Victor Uyanwanne

New Year Musings

Learn. grow

This is a new year. I know you know that already, but I said it anyway. So what are you going to do about that? Lash me? No way… Just humble yourself a little and read on…

This new year has come just like any other one before it. And it is already rolling away just like the ones before it had done. What you make out of it is your choice.

Last year, you had some plans, and made some new resolutions. How far did you go with them? How far did you run with those plans?

Are the plans still with you or they have left you? Or is it you that have left your plans and resolutions?

Either ways, last year is gone. This year is your chance to start again.

You are free to open a new chapter or continue from where you left-off earlier. Again the choice is yours.

It is not time to throw in the towel…

But if you want a different result, be sure to do things differently from the ways you have been doing them.

Remember Albert Einstein’s classic definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” You don’t want that to be your story this year!

Your goals are still within reach if you strongly set your mind on them. In case you have not made any plans at all for the new year, you can do that right away. Don’t say it is too late to plan. No, it is not!

Set your goals. Work out the strategies to achieve them.

The point is this: have an idea of what you want to achieve this year and write out what you will need to do to achieve them. And then get to work. Nothing will work until you work at them.

“If you don’t have any plans, it means you have planned to fail.” That’s not a new statement to you. But why have you been falling victim of its’ implication every time?

Forget about the previous years and let this year be different. Truly, this year can be remarkably different for you if you commit to doing things differently.

There are many areas of your life that you can do things differently. In your thought-life for instance. Stop the “stinking thinking” that has bedeviled you all these years. Think empowering thoughts this new year…

If you don’t want to end up the same way you ended up last year and the year before, stop thinking the same way you thought last year and the year before. You know what they say, “To change your life, change your thinking.”

That’s right! The outward change you desire has to start from within you first. Once that change revolution starts from within you, it is a matter of time, it will manifest around you.

Learn new things. Unlearn somethings. Relearn some others. Grow.

Knock on more doors than you did in the year before. Reach out to other people. Don’t be a recluse.

You know this is a new year. Don’t let it roll by just like that. By all means, make the most of it.


©Copyright 2019 | Victor Uyanwanne

3 Kinds Of People To Make Peace With This Christmas

Christmas is the season we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the baby that changed the world. As we celebrate, we should not lose sight of the real essence of it, chief of which was to restore the broken relationship between God and mankind.

Remember that at the birth of Jesus, some angels proclaimed to the shepherds saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests” Luke 2:14. Because of Christmas, peace was proclaimed to those who would come into a relationship with God.

So let us celebrate Christmas with a heart of peace towards God and an attitude of peace towards fellowmen. Towards that end, here are my simple suggestions on the

Three Kinds of people you should make peace with this Christmas:

Making peace with God

1. Make peace with God

When God sent Jesus Christ to be born on earth and also gave Him up to die for the ultimate redemption of mankind, He made peace with the world. You can say the war between God and the world is now over.

On a personal level, God has made peace with you by the atonement of Jesus Christ for your sins. He is no longer at war with you over your sinful nature.

But the question now is, “Are you at peace with God?” Being at peace with God means that you have spiritual peace. It means that you have been reconciled to God through Jesus Christ.

If that is not your story yet, let this Christmas season be that opportunity you have been waiting for to be connected back to God. Without having spiritual peace, or simply put, without being reconciled to God, peace in other areas of your life may continue to elude you.  Therefore, “Yield now and be at peace with Him; Thereby good will come to you” Job 22:1.

2. Make peace with yourself

Once you have made peace with God, the next natural experience you should have is peace within yourself. Being at peace with yourself means that you have emotional peace – inner peace.

The main reason you are not at peace with yourself is because you are not at peace with God. But if you have made peace with God, it is high time you allowed the peace of God to rule your heart.

Be at peace with yourself because God is at peace with you now. Forgive yourself of your shortcomings because God has already forgiven you.

Peace at Christmas

3. Make peace with other people

If you make peace with God and you are at peace with yourself, there is no reason you should not seek to be at peace with other people around you. Seize this special season to forgive the people who might have offended you. 

I know you cannot force other people to be at peace with you. But you can at least ensure that you are at peace with other people, within your own capacity.

Free yourself! Free your mind of grudges towards people around you!

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” Romans 12:18. That’s the extent of your responsibility.

“As far as it depends on you…” – that’s the pivotal phrase – live at peace with people this Christmas and beyond.

Above that, you can trust in the promise of God for relational peace which assures us that “When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” Proverbs 16:7.


© Copyright 2018| Victor Uyanwanne

If You Are Blind, But Can You Hear?

Lessons from Blind Bartimaeus

You are not perfect – no one is. What you lack in one area of your life, you gain in another.

Just as all men do, you have some strengths and some weaknesses. But which ones do you focus more on?

Often times, you focus mostly on your weaknesses rather than on your strengths. By so doing, you fail to celebrate or properly harness your strengths to your fullest advantage.

How do I know you are not focusing on your strength?

  • You constantly think of what you don’t have instead of what you have.
  • You always bemoan what you can’t do instead of doing what you can.
  • You intentionally begrudge other people’s talent instead of harnessing yours.
  • You are regularly unhappy about the places you haven’t visited instead of celebrating the places you have visited.
  • You complain that you can’t ‘see’, but you forgot that you can ‘hear’.

While you are doing all that, you forget that time is not waiting for you. Opportunities are passing by that you could have harnessed to make your life a little better.

If that is you, then you have something to learn from the blind Bartimaeus in the Bible.

An account in the Gospel of Mark chapter 10 verse 46-47 has it that:


… and as [Jesus Christ] went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.

And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.


And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth…

Did you see that?

When he heard…

That’s the pivotal phrase.

Victor Uyanwanne writes on lessons from blind Bartimaeus

This story wasn’t about Jesus Himself per se. It was the story of Bartimaeus, a beggarly blind man, who could hear, who had faith, had courage, had focus, had a voice, who proved to be unstoppable, and who got his desired miracle: restoration of sight.

As you can see, there are many good things about our man Bartimaeus. But for many years, he failed to harness his strength, dwelling on his weakness (blindness).

Consequently, he became a despised roadside beggar until this documented encounter with Jesus Christ that completely turned his life around for the better.

In the mean time, I will chip in the following counsel:

  • Focus on your strength. If you use it very well, the resultant gains may cover your weakness.
  • Focus on doing what you can do and stop being so unhappy about what is beyond your capabilities.
  • Use the talent you have, and don’t kill yourself over the ones you don’t have.

Bartimaeus was blind but he could hear. He didn’t have the sight to see Jesus, but he had the ear to hear that Jesus was passing his way.

With that information, he activated his faith and his voice. And He called out to Jesus, “Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.” And he got his sight back.

So I will ask you, if you can’t see, can you hear? Harness the power of your hearing first. Who knows, like Bartimaeus you will have your sight back in the process.


Picture Credits: 1. Photo by novia wu on Unsplash. 2. Photo by Stephen Arnold on Unsplash.


Have you ever let opportunities pass you by because you were focusing on your weakness rather than on your strength?


© Copyright 2018| Victor Uyanwanne

6 Good Things About The Negative Criticisms You Get On Your Blog

Negative criticisms of your blog
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

You will get criticised whatever you do. Blogging is not an exception to that fact of life.

You cannot stop people from criticising you in your blogging journey. But while constructive criticisms are good and welcome, negative criticisms are bitter pills to swallow.

And no matter how bitter the pill of criticisms can be, there are times you have to accept and swallow them as they are, even if it means frowning your face doing it.

The truth is, there is always room for improvement. That’s why you should assess every criticism to extract whatever might be good in it, with a view to improving your life.

As much as you love what you do, not everyone will love you for it. While some people may be indifferent  about your blogging activities, there are some other people that will come against you with harsh criticisms as feedback. But that you face some negative feedback doesn’t mean you should quit on your blog’s mission.

It certainly means you should find the best ways to handle the negative criticisms that confront you in such a way that they become beneficial to you.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Charles R. Swindoll

The question is, can there be anything beneficial in negative criticisms? I will say yes!

In this post, I will show you six good things about the negative criticisms you get on your blog:

1. Criticisms show you are being noticed.

There are millions of blogs out there. So if someone takes the time to pass a critical comment on your blog, it shows that you are gaining some visibility. Or would you rather be ignored?

2. There is some thing to learn from every criticism.

No matter how cantankerous your readers get while commenting on your blog, try not to be offended. Put a positive construction on whatever criticisms you get, because you will learn something good from it if you handle it properly.

Criticisms may cause your emotions to flare up. Learn to avoid that trap and you will be better positioned to learn something from the criticism that will make your blogging experience better.

3. Criticisms are part of your personal growth process.

You have heard the saying that if people throw stones at you, you should gather them to build a monument. You can apply that principle in blogging too.

When people throw the stones of negative criticisms at you, use them to build up yourself. In order words, don’t allow criticisms to tear you down. And specifically, do not quit on your blogging mission simply because you are being criticised.

4. Criticisms give you opportunity to be nice.

Some people have never been kind in their lives. So don’t expect them to start with your blog. When they attack you with harsh words on your blog, don’t respond to them fire for fire. Show them you are made of better stuff by responding to them as lovingly and as nicely as you can be.

Some bloggers will go the easy way of deleting negative comments on their blog, but if you do so, you would lose the opportunity of responding to someone in a way that might influence his or her life positively.

5. Criticisms make you not to rest on your oars.

Complacency may set in if you never get criticised in what you do or if all you get are only praise words.

The points of criticism you receive, if properly evaluated can be helpful to you in attaining higher grounds.

6. Some critics come as friends in disguise

Ultimately, you will get to realise that not everyone who criticises you are against you. Some are friends who wanted to help but didn’t know to frame their words better.

In dealing properly with negative criticisms, you will get to learn that some people who oppose you might turn out to become your allies.


So don’t scare people off when they leave comments you don’t like on your blog. Try your best to follow them to their own blogs. Read their posts and make valuable comments. Sooner or later, you will earn their respect.


Do you think the criticisms you receive on your blog are beneficial?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

You Don’t Care If No One Reads Your Blog, Really?

getting people to read your blog

I’m certainly not the only one who has come across a few blogs whose authors claim they write for only themselves, that they don’t care if no one reads their blogs.

Really? How is that so? And I hope you are not like that?

If you don’t expect to be read, why do you have a blog? Or better still, why did you index your blog as ‘public’ instead of as “private”?

Doesn’t it sound unbelievable to say that you write a blog and you don’t care if people read it or not?

Just think about it for a minute. You don’t want something to be found, yet you display it in the open sunshine, publicly?

I know you are not like that, so let’s get it straight.

You should expect your blog to be read. That’s the minimum you deserve once you have taken the pain to increase the number of blogs on the blogosphere by setting up one and publishing on it.

It does not make common sense to say that you started your blog without caring if anyone reads it or not. Enough of that self-deception!

The mere fact that you published something online is proof enough that you would want it read.

Cristian Mihai of The Art of Blogging avers that it is a false statement for anyone to say that, “I write for myself. I don’t care if anyone reads my blog.”

His argument is that “If you weren’t interested in [having] readers, then you would write all your stuff on your computer, in a notepad, [and] keep it all under your bed or in a closet.”

That sounds funny but it is true. The moment you publish something online, you can be sure that some people will find it to read it.

So stop saying you don’t care if people read your posts or not because we know you care. If you don’t really care, then you should shut down your blog.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

How Blogging Helps Your Personal Development

Benefits of blogging

One of the many side-benefits of blogging is that it will lead to your personal growth. I say that because I have experienced personal development in many areas of my life since I took up blogging as a hobby and an avenue to interact with the rest of the world in written form.

Apart from being a veritable platform to share my thoughts and experiences with the world, I have also now realised that blogging is for personal development.

In this post, I will show you several ways blogging has helped me in personal development. If you have been blogging for a while, I am sure you will identify with some of the benefits on the list.

Otherwise, feel free to extend the conversation by sharing your own experience in the comment section.

8 ways blogging has helped me in personal development


1. Blogging has made me wiser and more knowledgeable.

As a blogger, you don’t only write posts, you read other peoples posts as well. You also find yourself researching on areas of your interest. As you do all that you will pick up plenty of wisdom and knowledge.

Apart from sharing your own thoughts, a huge part of blogging involves learning from other people through what they have written.

A reader of this blog agrees with that when he stated that “… blogging is strongest in the realm of knowledge and understanding. You can gain a great deal of insight into how people think from the vast number of personalities spread across the many forums.”

2. Blogging has made me a better writer

Writing is not blogging. But blogging is writing and more. And the more I blog, the more I write and the better I become at it.

I have not arrived yet, but I know I have improved on my written communication skill since I took up blogging. For someone whose first language is not English, blogging has definitely paid-off in helping to hone my writing talent.

So if you consider yourself an aspiring writer, blogging is one step you should take in that direction.

As one commenter on this blog once stated, “I believe that blogging can definitely be helpful in achieving personal development goals. Not only with getting to develop yourself by writing out your thoughts and beliefs and helping yourself grow from laying it all there. But, you also get thousands and thousands of examples and lessons to learn from other bloggers in the community.”

Blog mission

3. Blogging has strengthened my ability to handle negative criticisms.

Believe it or not you will have fun blogging. But at the same time, you will face some negative backlashes. The fact that you are getting criticised shows that you getting noticed. Or would you rather be ignored?

I don’t know about you, but as for me, I have never faced as much criticisms and negative attacks in life as much as I have faced in my short blogging journey. I am okay with the fact that not everyone will agree with my points of view. But it degenerates to a negative experience when some people become abusive or unnecessarily annoying with their comments on my blog.

That doesn’t mean I should shut down the blog. But it certainly means I should find the best ways to handle the negative criticisms.

And I do that by learning from the criticisms,  responding in love rather than with hate, trying not to be offended and by staying focused on the bigger picture  – refusing to give up.

I already talked about that when I advised that despite the challenges you might face along your blogging journey, you should not quit on your blog’s mission.

4. Blogging has improved my interpersonal relationship skills.

I am sure you have encountered some internet trolls whose stock-in-trade is to post “inflammatory and digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages” on your blog. To be honest, they are not fun to deal with, and I have encountered a couple of them! But I would say I am doing better now in handling such people than when I started blogging.

I have learnt the hard way! I am not saying I have arrived. But both online and offline, I have improved on the way I relate with people on the blogosphere.

Blogging has taught me to be more patient, more gracious, and more understanding with people.

Some people may behave nasty to you, that’s their cup of tea.  You have to be nice. It may not be easy, but don’t give up before trying.

5. Blogging increased my discipline with time management.

Just like many people, I have many times been guilty of wasting my free (valuable) time doing not-so-productive things (eg watching TV) and procrastinating on doing worthwhile things. But blogging has  helped me use my spare time more productively.

As blogger, you write a lot. And you need to read wide as well. You need to discipline yourself more with the time at your disposal to achieve these two goals.

6. Blogging has enriched me spiritually.

In a way, blogging has assisted in my spiritual growth. As some one whose opinions are largely based on Biblical worldview, I read several Christian blogs whose authors have continued to impress me with their deep insights and teaching of God’s word.

In that process, I have been fed with the truths of God’s word in ways that have left me spiritually uplifted. So if you are keen on your spiritual growth, be aware that blogging can help you in that area.

7. Blogging has taught me Web-designing

If you had any web-designing skill before starting your blog, could you raise your hand please?

Well, congratulations if that’s you! As for me, I had zippo idea about web designing prior to when my blog was set up.

Setting up my blog was my first experience. Thanks to WordPress’s menu-driven processes, I can set up a functional blog for you if you want.

Before I started blogging, I had thought web development was not my thing; that it was meant for only programmers or those who have a working knowledge of markup languages such as HTML and CSS.

But now having successfully designed my own blogs and a few for other people, I am convinced I would not have known web designing if not for blogging? So you see what I mean?

8. Blogging has increased my creativity

I have found that there is an improvement in my mental creativity  as a result of blogging. That’s hardly surprising because, you find that in writing blog posts, you have to be imaginative, you brain-storm on topics to blog about, you engage in meaningful conversations and so on.

That’s because creativity involves “the use of imagination or original ideas to create something.” And both imagination and originality are familiar concepts in blogging.


You have read my experience. And hopefully, you were able to observe that beyond being a form of self-expression, blogging has become an avenue for personal development for me in many ways.

My knowledge in many fields, places and people has increased through blogging. I hone my writing skills as I write posts after posts. I am being more productive with my spare time,  and I am now more self-confident than ever with blogging.

Over all, blogging is helping me become a better version of myself. I am not saying all this to draw attention to myself. Rather I am just trying to show you how blogging can help you in your personal development journey using my own experience as a case study.

I will like to hear your own story in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

On Forgiveness

Revenge

1. God has forgiven your offences. He expects you to forgive other people too.

2. Unforgiveness is a big weight. Free yourself from it or else you may get crushed under it.

3. Happiness and unforgiveness don’t mix. Between the two, you have the power to choose the one you prefer.

4. You have the capacity to forgive anyone who offends you. No need pretending otherwise.

5. Forgive yourself. If you cannot forgive yourself hardly can you forgive others.

6. No matter what anyone has done against you, find a reason to forgive.

7. Forgiveness is a gift. You can give it even when someone doesn’t deserve it.

8. In the long run, forgiveness is sweeter than revenge.


Any comment?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

In the Dead of the Night

In the dead of the night

In the dead of one rainy night
He crept into my room uninvited
Pinning me down to the bed very tight
He began to do what his body wanted.

This has become a regular ritual
That I’ve come to endure every night
The act has never been consensual
Utterly bruised, I’ve lost the will to fight

One night I wanted to run away and shout
But he threatened to kill me if I dare
Or have me immediately thrown out
Unless I yielded to him with my body bare.

He forced his hard-self deep inside of me
Just as he….

Read the complete poem on my Living Poems Blog

See also the successor poem: In the dead of the night, again

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Blogging For Personal Development

A few people have had cause to ask me, “Victor, are you making money from your blog?” The simple answer I always gave is “No.”

When I started this blog, money making was never part of the objective. And it isn’t till this point in time.

But that does not in any way suggest that I am totally against monetising the blog. I am simply saying it is not part of the plan, at least not yet.

You may be a professional blogger, but I am not. So how you see blogging may not be exactly how I see it.

Writing this blog is a hobby I engage in outside my full time job. And like I already stated, I am not making any income from it.

My bills and those of my family are taken care of from income from paid employment. So what is in it for me in this blogging journey?

I would say a lot: more than I had initially anticipated and definitely much more than time and space would allow me delve into in this short post.

From the outset of my blogging journey, I wanted to share my thoughts on the issues of life with anyone who would care to read. I was convinced that what I had to share could make life better for someone out there – one way or another.

To a large extent, that objective is being achieved. The feedback I get from my readers and critics alike convince me of that.

And for that I’m very grateful and also very encouraged to keep the blogging flag flying higher. As you can see, I am not about to quit on my blog mission.

However, beyond sharing my thoughts and being a blessing to my readers, blogging has become a journey of personal development for me. By that I mean my life has been improved in many ways since I took up blogging as a hobby.

I have learnt new things, improved on my writing skills, acquired new skills, met and interacted with different kinds of people from different places around the world – including avowed atheists.

I have inspired some people and I have also been inspired by many other people. I have defended my faith, read several insightful posts, gained vast knowledge in many areas of life and so on and so forth.

And I am still developing!

Now you have an idea of what I have been talking about!

Right? Yes, thank you.

In a subsequent post, I will expasiate on some of the many ways blogging has helped my personal development. Thank you for reading.


Do you agree that blogging is helpful in achieving personal development goals?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

When You Are Interviewed By A Parenting Blog

I recently got featured as a blog’s Parent of the Month. That happens to be the first real interview I would ever grant to any website.

I have the permission of the blog author to share the interview with you here. Enjoy it.


Aspiring Writer, Husband, Father… Parent of the Month

Welcome to our Parentinggist parent of the month. Let’s meet our guest.

My name is Victor Uyanwanne, husband to Jennifer, father of two energetic boys and an aspiring writer.

Great, can you throw more light on your writing.

For the past three years, I have been publishing posts bothering on life and living, family issues, blogging tips, poetry and many other things that tickle my fancy. My purpose is to inspire people and equip them with the right knowledge that will help them live happier.

Being a follower of Jesus Christ, the thoughts on my blogs are presented from a Christian worldview. If you want to read my writings first hand, they can be accessed via Victors’ Corner

Awesome blog, you’ve got, how do you combine your regular job, writing and family?

Thanks for the compliment. I will say, I am combining effectively well. I take my job seriously and I put in my best all the time.

Reading and writing are my top hobbies so I have fun doing both, especially at night after work and on weekends. Except because of Lagos traffic bottlenecks, anyone here should have plenty of time after work (from the close of work at 5pm daily to whenever he or she goes to bed) to do some personal things. That’s how I find time to hone my writing skills.

As for the family, I will give all the credit to my beautiful wife for holding forth strongly at the home front. She is really a gift from heaven to me; a helpmeet indeed.

Having said that, I will add that as much as possible I try to spend much time with my family whenever I’m not at work. And I usually cut out unnecessary outings. I don’t know about you, for me, family time is fun time and best time. I have two very inquisitive boys. Answering their numerous questions and bonding with them through mutual interactions have been one of my greatest pleasures as a dad.

We would like you to share some of the numerous questions from your boys, I’m sure we would benefit from them too or laugh it out.

I have had my boys asking me scores of questions. And many of those questions I answered correctly without much ado. Yet there were ones I had to think twice before answering.

For instance, one of them once asked me, “Daddy, why do we have ten fingers?” How does one answer that? Please help me out (smiles).

When they asked, “Daddy, what is the baby of a horse called?” I am ashamed to say that I had to quickly check “Google” on my smartphone before I could tell them it’s called “a foal.”

Of all the questions my boys have ever asked me, the one that impressed me most was when the older boy (then 4years plus) asked me how he could be able to make it to Heaven at the end of this life. I must say it was my privilege to lead him to Christ that Christmas morning.

Oh this is wonderful, I must say, so what advice do you have for parents who are reading this; how can we lead our kids to make Heaven?

Parents should share the simple truths of the gospel with their children and allow them to make up their mind about receiving Jesus Christ into their lives. It is not something that can be forced.

In addition, parents should always pray for their children, that they receive the Lord and follow His way. In my boy’s case, I had prayed for him even before he turned 2 years old that he would get to be born again before the age of eight. Fortunately for me, it happened much earlier than expected.

One other thing I will add is that parents should by their conducts show good examples to their children. Children are good observers and they learn alot from their parents. If we want our children to be candidates of heaven, we should not live our lives as candidates of hell.

Thank you so much for honouring our invitation.

You are welcome. The pleasure is mine.

P.S: The interview was originally published on ParentingGist blog.


What do you think?

Introducing My Living Poems Blog

Christian poems

In case you have not yet noticed, I have started another blog called, Living Poems. It is a blog I am dedicating to exploring the poetic side of me.

In other words, the blog will center squarely on poetry or inspired lines as I would like to call them. It promises to be very inspiring…

The blog will document my poems in one place. Before now, my contributions to poetry on the blogosphere were posted in the poems sub category here on Victors’ Corner.

However, the poems train has now moved to my Living Poems blog. Some of my latest poems have been published there already and more are still loading…

So if you have been following me here on Victors’ Corner, kindly join me on Living Poems as well. New followers are welcomed too! Let us explore our poetic gifts together.

However, the Poetry corner of Victors’ Corner will continue to exist; the poems there will not be deleted. But the news ones will first be posted on Living Poems before they would be mirrored here (if need be).

Right now, the living poems blog is beginning to gaining some tractions already. Thanks to all the first visitors to the blog.

As I am writing this post, a notification for the first five likes has dropped in. Let’s just say I am heralding that little beginning here.

Living poems

The poems posted on the new blog will be a blessing to you. Some of them will make you laugh, others will make you want to cry and angry at the same time.

But they will leave you inspired in the end. They are nary ordinary poems because they are inspired lines from Above.

As  you read them, feel free to share them with your friends, like them or drop your comments. Apart from sharing the value with someone else, you would also make my day by doing so.

And if you have any good poetry blog to recommend to me, feel free to do so. It will be my pleasure to check them out.

Thank you for your time. You may now follow me to Living Poems blogs .

Victors' Uyanwanne's poem site

 

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

 

2 Simple Reasons You Should Continue To Be A Good Boy (or Girl)

What does it mean to be a good boy (or girl)?

Being a good boy (or girl) involves obeying rules, treating other people with respect, not being lazy, helping out around the house, maintaining healthy habits, being studious, volunteering, not doing drugs, and so on and so forth.

Cast your mind back to when you were growing up. Your parents would always say to you to be a good boy (or girl) whenever they were concerned about your behaviours.

And in most cases you cooperated with them, even though there were times you fell short of their expectations.

You know how proud you made them feel whenever you made the right choices! They felt honoured!

That is to say, being a good boy (or girl) is one of the ways you can show that you hold your parents in high esteem.

As you well know, your parents don’t want you doing things that may embarrass your family. They are genuinely interested in you having good conducts, protecting you from harming yourself and others.

Apart from the pain your misbehaviours may cause to your parents, to you and to other people around you, you dishonour your parents (and your family) each time you engage in unwholesome activities.

Bearing that in mind, I assume you tried your best to be a good boy (or girl) when you were growing up. Now that you are fully grown and independent, do you think you should stop being a good boy (or girl)?

Honouring your parents

I bet you don’t want to do that – for two reasons:

You don’t want to break your parents’ hearts at old age.

No matter how old your parents might have become, they still want you to keep being a good kid.

And no matter how fully grown or independent you might have become, your parents still don’t you to be involved in activities that may hurt you. They love you that much!

If you don’t honour them by making right choices in your life, their hearts will ache over you and you may end up sending them to an early grave.

Even if your parents, like mine, have gone to the great beyond, still honour their memories by continuing to be a good kid in their absence.

Remember this also: besides our earthly parents, we are also accountable to a heavenly Father. So you don’t want to do anything that will impede your relationship with Him.

You want to leave a good legacy for yourself.

Come to think of it: it’s your life, you can live it the way you want. But remember that whatever you do with it is the legacy you will leave for yourself, for your children and for posterity.

That makes it imperative for you to continue to behave well, making the right choices and being a good boy (or girl).

Don’t wait for someone to force it on you. Be intentional about it. Show some commitment to making the right choices in life. And continue to be a good boy or girl.


What does being a good boy (or girl) mean to you? Share your view in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Simple Ways Being Grateful For Your Parents Can Influence Your Attitude Towards Them

 

Gratitude

A recent little survey on Facebook revealed (amongst other things) many christians are most grateful for two things:

  • Their salvation in Christ; and
  • Their parents.

In a previous post, I suggested five ways being grateful for your salvation can impact your life. Let’s go a step further by having a look at:

Some of the ways your attitude towards your parents can be influenced if you are truly grateful for them:

1. You will have time for them

Never say, “I don’t have time for my parents.” Create the time for them…

Your parents spent their life, health and wealth caring for you. Now that you are independent, don’t abandon them.

No matter how busy you might have become in your life, make out time for your parents. Call them regularly. Visit with them, with your spouse and grandchildren.

As you know, grandparents always adore their grandchildren. So give them that pleasure before they leave this earth.

2. You will give them gifts.

When was the last time you ever gave any gifts to your parents? They don’t have to be in need before you can buy anything of value for them.

Within your capacity, you can present beautiful gifts to your parents – no matter how little. That’s one way you can show them you love and appreciate them.

Gifts have a way of communicating some lovely things from you to the recipient: “You mean alot to me”. “I appreciate you so much.” “You are always on my mind.” “I’ve not forgotten you.” “I celebrate you.”

If you are truly grateful for your parents, learn to give them gifts. You will experience a fresh dose of happiness by do doing so.

3. Provide for their needs

Aside giving gifts to your parents, be actively involved in meeting their pressing needs.

As your parents’ age, they might gradually become unable to meet their basic needs without help. Whatever they lack, you can provide it for them to the best of your ability.

Their daily supplies. Medical care etc, whatever their needs might be, you should find a way of being of assistance to them.

Even if they are very okay – not needing any help – still find a way to be part of their lives. You owe them that honour.

Remember what the Bible says, “”Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise”” (Ephesians 6:2).

4. You will forgive their offences against you

Your parents are not perfect. They might have made choices in the past that affected you negatively. But that doesn’t mean you should hold it against them forever.

My simple advice is that you have to forgive whatever wrong your parents might have done against you in the past,. Apart from improving the relationship between you and them, it is good for your health too.

One sure way to deprive yourself of happiness is to hold grudges against your parents – refusing to forgive them.

5. You will continue to “be a good boy”

Your parents would always say to you to be a good boy (or girl) whenever they were concerned about your behaviours. And in most cases you always cooperated with them.

Now that you are grown, do you think you should stop being a good boy (or girl)? I bet you don’t want to do that – for two reasons:

  • You don’t want to break your parents heart at old age.
  • You want to leave a good legacy for yourself.

I hope that with those few points of mine, I have been able to show you some simple ways you can show your parents that you love and appreciate them.

In what other ways do you think you can demonstrate that you are grateful to your parents for the role they played in your life? Leave a comment.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Good Ways Being Grateful For Your Salvation Will Impact Your Life

Everyone alive has something he or she should be grateful for. From the mundane to the sublime, there is always a reason to be thankful.

As followers of Jesus Christ, let’s relate that to our attitude towards the free gift of salvation we received from Above.

Many of us would say that our salvation is what we are most grateful for in this life. And that’s a great thing!

Jesus Himself taught that our greatest joy should be that our names are written in Heaven (See Luke 10:20). So it is well in order to feel immensely grateful to God for our salvation and also allow that joyful attitude to reflect in our daily living.

But do we really live our lives daily in a way that demonstrates that we truly appreciate our salvation? Are we as joyful as we should be?

Probably not! That’s why I am writing this post, because I’m convinced some of us are falling behind expectation in that regard.

Sometimes we are immensely grateful we are saved. Some other times we don’t even seem to remember we are saved. So we go about our lives not reflecting the attitude of gratitude both before God and our fellow man or woman.

It is my believe that if we are constantly thankful to God for the free gift of salvation we received in Christ, it will positively impact on the way we respond to God and the way we treat other people.

In this post, I will highlight five ways being grateful for your salvation will impact your life positively.

5 ways you will be positively impacted if you constantly feel grateful for your salvation

1. You will find it easier to live a life of gratitude, irrespective of your estate in life.

You have the capacity for gratitude that does not depend on your external circumstances. But the question is, “Are you using it towards God and your fellow humans?”

The Bible tells us that “In all things, we should give thanks to God.” That’s a way of saying you should always maintain a heart of gratitude.

I am not saying it will be easy to do. But it is something that can be done, even when life doesn’t go the way you want it.

As someone pointed out, “It is not everything that happens that is the will of God. But it is the will of God that you should give thanks to God no matter what happens.”

Being grateful for our salvation

2. You will live to please God rather than yourself or anyone else.

When you appreciate your salvation as something you could never achieve by your best efforts, but which God delivered to you undeservedly, it becomes imperative that you focus on pleasing the One Who got you saved in the first place.

God paid the highest price for your salvation so He deserves to get your highest love, greatest pleasure and deepest loyalty.

Before you were saved, you were living for yourself and for the devil.

Once you have been saved, you should begin to live your life to the glory of God. Always being grateful for your salvation will help you in that regard.

3. You will love other people more

When you love God with all your heart, loving other people becomes a less difficult challenge.

At salvation, you received the love of God in your heart. This love that has been shared abroad in your heart is what enables you to love other people, whether they are lovely or unlovely.

If you don’t value your salvation, you will underestimate the need to love other people with the same love God has loved you with.

4. You will not live a hopeless life

Hopelessness is a consequence of not having any expectation for a future good. But in Christ, you are guaranteed of a good future.

God has promised to bring you to an expected end. A glorious one!

Our salvation is not an end in itself. It is the restoration of our relationship with God here on earth and it points us to a more glorious future.

As a saved person you have hope in this world and in the world to come. You will not lose sight of that if you are someone that always appreciates your salvation.

Apostle Paul argues that, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable” 1 Corrinthians 15:19.

Because of your salvation in Christ, you have been born into a living hope that extends beyond this world into a glorious eternity.

5. Your faith will be strengthened

Ingratitude will drain your strength! But gratitude will empower you.

The greatest thing God did for mankind is sending Jesus to die for the salvation of the world. This singular act coupled with your positive response to it by faith is what afforded you the benefit/hope of eternal salvation.

If you appreciate this on a personal level, it will strengthen your faith in God and in the belief in His willingness to answer your prayers.

Just like Apostle Paul, you will reason that , “He [God] who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” Romans 8:32, NASB


In what other ways do you feel being grateful for your salvation in Christ will positively impact your life?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

What Are You Grateful For?

There is a saying in Nigeria that if you look carefully within or around you, you will definitely find something to be thankful for.

In other words, everyone has one reason or another to feel some sense of gratitude.

Look within you or around you.  Look back over the course of your life… l believe you should find some reasons to be grateful.

I dare say that it would not be correct for you to say there is nothing about you to be grateful for. So please don’t even go there…

Recently on my Facebook page, I asked this simple question:

Victor Uyanwanne asks a question on gratitude

The responses I received to that question are what I present to you in this post, with the hope that you too will join in the conservation aimed at identifying the things you are most grateful for in your life.

Interestingly, I didn’t have this post in mind when I asked that question. But as I examined the feedback I received, I began to feel the need to use them as basis to write this post.

The following points are the feedback I received from 4 respondents as the things they are grateful for:

1. My salvation. My parents for being there in my formative years. And many other things;

2. For God’s elaborate salvation plan that included me.

3. My salvation, and other priceless gifts too numerous to mention!

4. The legacy bequeathed me by my dad and mom.

All the responses came from very mature people (all of them over 50 years of age each). I would take that to mean that they know what they were talking about.

From the responses of these friends on Facebook, I was able to see that there are majorly two things they are grateful for:

1. For the salvation they have;

2. For the roles their parents played in their lives.

If necessary, I will explore this two reasons in subsequent blog posts. But here, let us just continue the conversation by having you identify what you are grateful for in life.


See also: What is your greatest joy in life?


Are you ready? Let me set the ball rolling.

Just like the above respondents, I am grateful to God for the salvation of my soul. But I’m more grateful that it happened early enough in life for me.

I gave my heart to God before my fourtheenth birthday. This has helped me in so many ways…

It helped me to form my values based on the word of God, shapened and steered my character – as a teenager then – in the right directions.

With my heart already dedicated to God, I found it easier to overcome peer pressure and other teenage vices that would have certainly led me in the wrong direction in life – away from God.

The core values that were instilled in me at that stage of life, have continually proved very useful in my adult life. For that I’m very grateful.

Let me not make this post about me only. It should be about all of us. So permit me to ask you the same question:

Looking back over your life these past years, what are the things you are most grateful for?

Kindly provide your answer in the comment section and thank you in advance for participating.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Has Your Blog Post Ever Spoken To You Personally?

You can learn from your own post too!

Many of us bloggers sometimes make the mistake of thinking that we are writing only to people other than ourselves; that our posts help our readers more than they help us the writers.

But that may not always be the case. The posts we publish can be a blessing to us as much as it is to our readers. They can address our needs as much as they address the needs of other people.

Your blog posts should interest you. They should minister to you if you want them to minister to other people too.

That’s why I’m asking you: have you ever had your blog speaking to you personally?

In other words, have you ever learnt any lesson reading your own blog post?

That seems a fair question to ask, because if you are not learning anything from your own blog post, how are your readers supposed to learn from it?

I know from my own experience that most of the things I write on this blog often speak to me directly before they speak to my readers.

Apart from what I learn from other people’s posts, I learn from my own posts too!

The interesting part is that even months down the line, I could still find some of those posts addressing a particular need in my own life.

That was the experience I had recently. I am ashamed to say it now but I had a heated conversation with my wife.

“Over what” you may ask? Finances, aka money!

So that was it? Yea, yea…

Is money ever enough? Well, may be when we become billionaires. Smiles 😀

Just kidding…

But seriously, we had some issues at hand: Our combined income for the month would barely be enough to accommodate ‘everything’ we wanted. No extras…

Futhermore, we couldn’t quite agree with the direction of our expenses for the following month. Our budget has to be a bit tightened due to some midyear obligations that needed to be settled.

But in a bid to have them resolved, our individual tempers flared up… Between each of us, we knew we raised our voices louder than normal.

You can hold me responsible for that. But I’m grateful to God we are both calmer now.

Just like many new couples would have experienced, this was not the first time finance and budgeting issues have come between us. And even though we always navigated our ways out of it, how come this kind of reality sometimes heat us hard in the face?

I mean, I love my wife and she loves me too. We both know it… We are eternally committed to each other. But how come we still disagree?

We are humans, imperfect humans. We are different in many ways.

We are still learning…Don’t you know that already?

Okay. That’s right!

Married couples do face challenges. Is there anyone here who doesn’t know that by now?

Well, there are bound to be issues in any relationship – be it marriage or not. But it is how we handle those issues that matters.

This was where echoes from a previous post of mine – Towards a better marriage: your spouse is not the problemreverberated loudly in my ears:

A problem is a problem and your spouse is your spouse. Please don’t mistake one for another.

I had advised my readers in that post:

“Next time you have any marital issue, be sure to remind yourself that your spouse is not the problem. Identify what the issue is and focus on tackling it. That way you will achieve a healthier method of resolution than blaming your spouse.”

In this case, I knew exactly what the problem was. And it was not my wife!

During marital problems, identify what the issue is and focus on tackling it. Don’t trade blames [with your spouse. It will backfire].

It finally felt like I was talking to my point of need as well. And I was…

As I said before, ministry to self before ministry to others! I get it: my blog post has spoken to me personally once again!

Here is an excerpt from the post that came back hunting me:

Your Spouse Is Not The Problem

Just like every married couple might have come to realise, I am sure you already know that marriage is not a bed full of roses only. It is full of plenty challenges as well.

Isn’t that pretty obvious?

More often than not, it is how you handle these challenges that will go to a large extent to determine the success and happiness or otherwise of your marital experience.

The common saying that as you make your bed, so you will lie on it holds true in marriage relationships too.

Except you are married to the devil personified, I am free to say that your spouse is not the problem. So resist the temptation to see him or her as one.

Put in proper perspective, you will realise that the challenges you have in marriage are things or issues, not a person – and definitely not your spouse!

For instance, the problem could be the manner your spouse is handling an issue at hand, or it may also be the manner you are reacting to it. Either way, you must [realise] that the problem is not a person.

A vital key to amicably resolving the challenges is to learn to focus on tackling the issue at hand rather than putting the blame on a person – your partner. You may have been hurt by what your spouse said or did at some point, but the problem is still not your spouse.

“I love you but I hate how you treat me sometimes,” a thoughtful wife once said to her husband.

You’ve got the point? Identify what the issue is and deal with it [accordingly].

A problem is a problem and your spouse is your spouse. Please don’t mistake one for another.


Which of your blog post has ever spoken to you personally? You can paste the link in the comment section. I promise to check it out and leave you a feedback.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Don’t Quit On Your Blog’s Mission

Don't quit on your blog

When I started this blog, it was clear in my mind that I had something in me I could share that would be a blessing to someone out there.

I did not claim to be an expert in anything but I knew without doubts that many people would benefit from reading my printed thoughts.

With that mindset, I began writing and publishing articles on the blog…

But I made the mistake of underestimating the negative backlashes that would come from starting the blog.

Initially, I felt really hurt by the unkind things some people said to me.

“There are too many blogs out there,” I was told. “Nobody will notice yours. You are just wasting your time.”

Someone opined that he was sure I would run out of ideas within three months of starting the blog.

Another person even said he wished the blog was dead already…

Such were some of the unkind things that were said to me when I started blogging.

The painful part was that these people that said those hurtful things were not people I wasn’t acquainted with.

Despite their negative criticisms, I refused to be discouraged. So instead of the blog dieing in three months as they predicted, it is still waxing stronger three years after.

The fact that you are reading this right now is an evidence that the blog has survived the negative onslaughts.

I have not arrived yet, but I have left! Looking back now, I have every course to smile…

In the midst of the harsh criticisms I received, there have also been many positive feedbacks.

These encouraging feedbacks I received coupled with the firm belief in my blogging mission has encouraged me to keep writing the blog.

And I don’t have any plan of giving up…

By not quitting, I have gained alot in terms of knowledge and wisdom. I have grown and I’m still growing.

I have sharpened my writing skills and learning new things. I have expanded my online network and networth.

I have touched a few lives with my posts. And I have been touched as well by posts from other people.

Now I look back on the blogging journey with a broad smile. And it promises to be better…

I have overcome the hurts that would have weighed me down. I have more positive energy now.

Just like me, you might be facing negative criticisms and other challenges with your blog. But you will rise above them…

One little advice I will give to you for free is this:

If you truly believe in your blog’s mission, please don’t quit on it!

 

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

4 Simple Benefits Of Having A Firm Belief In Your Blog’s Mission

Belief and blog mission

Why are you blogging? Is it simply to wile away time, or to make some impacts in the world?

Are you on a mission with your blog? How much do you believe in this mission? Do you even believe in it at all?

Hardly would you succeed at anything you do – including blogging – if you don’t believe in it.

In the world of blogging, you may have a few things going for you. There are also many odds that may be against you.

And except you have a firm belief in what you are doing, you would give up before you know it.

According to John Maxwell, “Only with a belief in yourself will you be able to reach your potential.” And having a belief in your mission will empower, encourage and enlarge you (paraphrased).

I believe that you can enjoy the same benefits – and more – if you would have confidence in what you are doing as a blogger.

With a belief in your blog’s mission you can achieve many benefits…

In this post, I will offer you four simple benefits you will enjoy if you have a firm belief in your blogging mission:

#1. You will be empowered

Having a firm belief in your blogging mission, will strengthen your ability to achieve the goals you have set for your blog.

Your first task is to specify your blog’s mission. Your second is to believe in it and then you have to run with it.

If you don’t believe in your blog’s mission, you will not be empowered to achieve it.

Lack of belief is one of the reasons people fail in life.

Similarly, many blogs have failed because their writers did not believe firmly in what they were doing. As a result they became incapacitated, felt hollow and gave up.

Empower yourself, show a firm belief in the reason you are blogging.

#2. You will be encouraged

In your blogging journey, you will face discouragement at some points. When that happens, quitting becomes a beckoning alternative.

But you don’t have to take that option, if you have a firm belief in your blog’s mission. You can overcome the challenges and achieve your goals…

You may not gain wide readership at the beginning. You will be negatively criticised to a breaking point.

Internet trolls will come after you in the comment section of your posts. You may even experience the so-called writer’s block…

And friends and family may not give you the kind of support you would expect.

If any of these things happen to you, the only thing that will encourage you not to take down the blog will be your firm belief in your blog’s mission.

Without that, you may have lost the battle before it got started. So my friend, be encouraged by believing strongly in your blog’s mission.

Your belief empowers you

#3. You will be enlarged

Having a firm belief in your blog’s mission has a way of enlarging you.

By that I don’t mean that your body mass will increase. But that it will enable you to accomplish more.

There are many possibilities that may never be unlocked to you if you are not in your mind fully committed to your blog’s mission.

Belief in your blog and explore the opportunities it brings. That’s one way you grow and enlarge.

Sooner or later, you would find yourself accomplishing things you once thought impossible.

#4. Your expectations will be deepened.

If your blog has a purpose you so much believe in, it will rub off on your expectations for the blog.

Don’t run a blog without a propose. It doesn’t make sense to do so.

For example, some people say they started their blog because they just wanted to write, not caring whether someone reads it or not. I am not like that and I hope you are not too.

I am not saying starting a blog as a writing outlet is not okay. I am saying you should expect to be be read as well.

If you belief you have something to offer on your blog, then it is normal to expect people to discover your blog, read it and give you feedback.

A good blog without readers is like a beautiful girl in the dark: no one knows she is there.

I cannot begin to explain here what you should expect in your blog. Let your heart and your blog mission guide you.

What I can assure you is that the more confidence you have in what you are doing, the more you are psychologically empowered and encouraged to continue doing it…

The more you grow and enlarge in the process, the more your expectations are deepened. And hopefully the more positive results you will achieve.


Having a belief in your blog’s mission will help you accomplish more. It will empower you, encourage you, enlarge you and even deepen your expectations.

In what other ways has your belief in your blog’s mission been of help to you?

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

On Truth And What You Believe

Belief and morality

One of the eternal words that Jesus ever uttered includes this one: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32).

Knowing the truth is the way to true freedom. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

But first, here is the question:

What is the truth?

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” John 14:6.

There goes another audacious claim of Jesus’:

  • He is the Way;
  • He is the Truth;
  • He is the Life.

With all these assertions, was Jesus just posturing or He is who He claims to be? I choose to believe the latter.

Therefore:

  • As Jesus is the Way, if you are following anyone other than Jesus alone, you are on the wrong path;
  • As Jesus is the Truth, if you have not believed Jesus as the full revelation of God’s truth to mankind, you have believed wrongly;
  • As Jesus is the Life, you will not have eternal life except you receive the life that only Jesus offers.

I know these are the kinds of statements that make some people mad. But Jesus did not offer any apologies when He made those audacious claims, neither would I.

a) Jesus is the Truth

First and foremost, truth is a person; Jesus is the Truth and He is unchanging…

So He can be trusted. You accept the truth to your eternal benefits and you reject it to your eternal peril.

There can be no meaningful “commitment to the authority of God” without a firm personal acceptance of Jesus Christ as the Truth.

b) The word of God is truth.

Jesus is the Word and the Word is truth, absolute truth. So the question of relative truth doesn’t apply…

All contemplations of truth must be hinged on God (through Jesus) and on His Word. You rise or fall to the truth you receive or reject.

That brings us to the question of morality.

The Standard for our morality

The word of God is truth. Therefore, more than anything else, the word of God must be the standard for our lives and the basis of our morality.

More than anything else, our morality should be based on what God thinks. Everything else is sinking sand…

But the choice is ours whether to base our morality on God’s thinking or not.

Our world today gives us three options for how to discover truth: We can choose to base our morality on what we think, on what other people think, or on what God thinks. We really have no other options. Our choice will dictate how we live, how we love, and, someday, how we die. But it’s our choice. What will you choose? – Rick Warren, in the devotional article, “You can know the truth by looking at God.”

The best foundation for our morality should be on God’s truth. Atheists may think otherwise, but I reckon that any question on morality cannot but have God in the picture.

Without God, the source of truth, there can be no a proper sense of right or wrong.

Any philosophy of life not backed by the word of God, irrespective of whoever might have propounded it, cannot be the truth.

The absolute truth as we should know it is the word of God only; whether in part or as a whole, the word of God is truth. I didn’t say so, Jesus did.

Jesus once prayed for His disciples, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17, emphasis mine).

Yes, the word of God is truth!

But there is a tragedy

Instead of choosing to knowing and living by the truth of God’s word, many people today have chosen to embrace some philosophies that are now destroying the moral fabric of the society.

Many people now believe what they want to believe. And feel they can live their lives how they want it, with or little considerations for the issues of morality.

Writing along that line in a recent devotional article, author of the best-seller The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren, reminds us that What You Believe Shapes Your Life.

As he puts it, “What you believe determines your behavior. Your behavior then determines what you become, and that has a direct effect on the direction of your life.”

So you see why the behaviour of the world is going haywire? They have rejected the truth, living a lie and heading in godless directions.

If you think godless thoughts, you will believe godless things and make godless choices!

Knowing Jesus and accepting God’s word as the truth will help shapen correctly what you believe and how you live.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Being A Loving Leader Doesn’t Mean You Shouldn’t Hold Your Team Accountable

Holding your team accountable

If you are leading anything of significance then you will regularly run into many uncertainties, obstacles, and failures. And it is the way you deal with these situations, how you handle things going wrong, that truly defines your leadership.”

Those were the words of Paul Hughes in the post, “Your leadership is defined by how you handle things going wrong.”

Paul is someone who believes that leadership should be founded on love.

According to him, “When a culture has its foundation in love, then it is safe to fail. People start to come out of their comfort zones because they know that even if they make a mistake they are still going to be valued. Instead of being blamed, they know they will be supported and assisted to grow.”

What that means in a way is that a leader who loves his or her team will not take pleasure in dishing out blames to the team if failure occurs along the line; neither will he or she be judgemental.

Rather the leader focuses “…on discovering and truly understanding the cause of the failure, while at the same time being attuned to the feelings of the people involved.”

Paul calls that the Empathetic Discovery Approach. The principle requires that in any situation of failure, you the leader should build shared understanding of the root-cause of the problem through exploration conversations without demoralising any member of your team.

If you jump into conclusions without this empathetic exploration, you are more likely to get your team feeling hurt and getting blamed. And as you know, no one enjoys being blamed all the time.

I agreed with that position when I read it in the original post. But I was also left with the following questions:

Does this approach (of focusing on the root-cause of failure and having respect for the team members’ feelings) preclude a leader from holding people accountable for their actions?

Or is this another way of saying, “Ask what went wrong, not who was wrong?”

Leadership and accountability
Paul Hughes-LoveYourTeam

Here was Paul’s response to that question. (I have his permission to reproduce it here):

This approach doesn’t preclude a leader from holding people accountable for their actions. In fact, it is the opposite.

If you don’t hold people accountable then you aren’t really being a loving leader.

To give an analogy of how the approach I’m describing fits in with accountability, imagine the situation when someone is speeding in their car and a police officer pulls them over.

There is a consequence for exceeding the speed limit, which is getting fined. It is the police officer’s duty to issue that fine.

But the police officer has a decision to make about how they are going to perceive the speeding driver.

One approach is to make an assumption that the driver doesn’t care about the road laws, and then to look down on the driver for this lack of care.

Another approach is to hold back from jumping to conclusions or forming a judgement.

I guarantee that the driver will know the difference, even if the police officer did not say anything. They would sense in a lot of subtle ways whether the officer was holding that judgement or not.

Now, the officer could just issue the fine and walk away. And there is nothing wrong with that.

But think about the possibilities of approaching the situation from a standpoint of unconditional love.

The police officer might want to do the best they can to help make the chance of speeding lower in future, to protect people from preventable accidents. In his case, the loving officer would be navigating the table in my article.

The system first. What if it turns out that the speed signs had fallen down and it was impossible for drivers to know the speed limit.

If this turned out to be the case, the officer would want to arrange for the signs to be fixed to help all drivers.

But let’s say the speed signs were fine. What caused the driver to be speeding?

May be they were stressed out with many different things, and weren’t concentrating while driving.

The loving officer could listen and empathise with this, while at the same time still giving the person the fine. And who knows, maybe just taking the time to listen and to offer an encouraging word letting the person know there is hope amidst their many problems, ends up being a moment that really changes that person.

And then maybe that person is able to sort out some challenges they have that help them in many ways, only one of which is not getting distracted while driving and causing them to speed.

How much better of an outcome is this than just the person stopping speeding out of fear that they’ll get another ticket?

Or let’s say it turns out that the driver really doesn’t care and is disrespectful to the officer. At that point the officer obviously still gives them the fine, which is the consequence of their behaviour. But the officer still has a choice whether to love the person.

The unloving path is to hold the innate worth of the person lower because of the attitude they expressed. Following that path, what is the chance of this interaction actually helping that person?

It’s most likely going to re-enforce the poor attitude they have.

But on the other hand, what if the officer was loving? In this case they would not diminish the worth of the person. They would feel sorry for person, knowing the expressed attitude will lead to pain for them and others.

They would look the person in the eye, and out of genuine love say something like, “I really don’t want to see you get hurt or others get hurt. I need to give you this fine today because you have broken the law and done something dangerous. But I truly hope you value yourself as much as I value you, and stop speeding”.

Now the person may snarl and dismiss the comment. But you never know what kind of seed that moment of genuine unconditional love will plant.

The authenticity of that interaction could play some small part in really helping that person change. And even if that is only the remotest of possibilities, then it is worth it.

Screenshot_20180606-015213~2

What do you think?

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

4 Admirable Things In One Of The Most Smiling Faces on Instagram

The most smiling face on Instagram

Linda Ikeji is one of the few Nigerian celebrities I follow on Instagram. In my own reckoning, she is one of the most smiling faces on Instagram.

For those who don’t know her, Linda is Nigeria’s most successful blogger by all ramifications.

According to some sources, her blog lindaikejisblog dot com is one of the most visited sites in Nigeria. And that’s no mean achievement.

From writing the blog as a hobby to becoming a strong media entrepreneur, Linda has broken many barriers and blazed the trails for many aspiring bloggers in the country and in Africa as a whole.

This post is not about her blog but about the woman behind it, especially about her ever smiling face on Instagram.

I will be upfront in informing you that I have never met Linda in person. Just like many other celebrities like her, all I know about her are things she shared about herself and from other media sources as well.

That is to say that there are many things I don’t know about her and there are many things about her I would never know.

What then is my interest about her in this post? I will answer that question in a few minutes…

Ever since I began following Linda on Instagram, there have been many things about her that I have found to be very admirable. Some of those things are worth-sharing and that my friend is the reason for this post.

Four admirable things about Linda Ikeji’s face on Instagram:

1. Linda’s posts are always inspiring.

Linda always posts her personal pictures on her Instagram page (that’s the purpose of the platform in the first place). But the notes and the anecdotes on many of her posts there are always very inspirational and full of lessons, especially for young people who want to be successful.

Without being carried away by her fashion sense or her expensive cars which she proudly displays in her posts, you will definitely learn something if you would put some thoughts to the notes that accompany her picture posts.

She encourages her followers to follow their passion, work hard and be focused.

I know firsthand the difference between reading a Linda Ikeji’s post on Instagram compared to those of a few other Nigerian celebrities on Instagram or other social media platforms.

Apart from Linda’s, another celebrity I like seeing/reading his Instagram post is Ali Baba, who is widely acclaimed as Nigeria’s king of comedy. His posts too are always filled with lessons for his teeming followers (May be I will write about that some day as well).

Back to Linda Ikeji.

2. Linda comes across to me as a humble person.

Linda is said to be a self-made multi-millionaire but I can’t say she is proud and pompous like some other celebrity millionaires on the block.

I have heard her say thinks that bespeak humility.

Like I already stated, I don’t know Linda in person. But as a distant observer of hers, I have many reasons to believe that she is more homely and more humble than some of her critics may want to admit.

Although, sometimes, she displays a facade that portrays her as proud, in the end her humility always shines through. So I tend not to believe when I hear some people say she is very arrogant.

The social media is replete with huge evidence to show that there are more arrogant Nigerian celebrities on the platform than there are humble ones. To me, Linda is remarkably different from them all.

You may disagree with me if you like, but don’t forget that, just like you, I am entitled to my own opinion.

3. Linda wears a genuine smile alot.

You can’t be a fan of Linda’s on Instagram without noticing her infectious smiles most of the time. I always see her smile in all her pictures and I like it alot.

A peep into some of her throwback pictures did not fail to reveal that this blogging queen has been smiling from way back, even before she became rich and famous.

Therefore, one can safely conclude that her ever-smiling face as we see on Instagram today is no fluke. It is a genuine part of her.

I can recall one time I didn’t see her smile in one of her pictures and I had to ask, “Whatever happened to the smiles we are used to?”

Although I didn’t get an answer (I understand she doesn’t have to respond to me), I wanted to pass the message across to her that she should keep on smiling. It is one of the reasons some of us admire her.

Some of my friends are aware that I follow Linda on Instagram.(I had remarked that I like the fact that she always wears a beautiful smile on her face).

One of them was quick to say, “Victor, with the kind of millions (of Naira) Linda has, any woman can’t but smile.”

Really?

I didn’t want to dispute so much but I quickly pointed out, “How come not every woman with millions out there are smiling like her?” End of discussion!

4. Linda believes in God

In an age when it has become acceptable to have celebrities who openly deny the existence of God, we still find a few exceptions. Linda Ikeji is one of such.

I do not know the depth of her relationship with God. But as a follower of hers on Instagram, I have observed that she always expresses her faith in God in her posts.

She often recognises that it was God who has made it possible for her to achieve fame and fortune beyond her imaginations.

Linda has shown that she is wise by acknowledging the existence and help of God in her life.

Youknow, as the Bible says, “A fool says in his heart there is no God. “In other words, only fools say God doesn’t exist.

In conclusion,

There are many things about Linda Ikeji that would be so admirable to anyone who follows her on Instagram as I do. A post like this is definitely not enough to cover everything.

But as far as I am concerned, Linda would top the list of Instagram’s most smiling celebrity faces in Nigeria, and all I can say to her, is please keep the flag flying.

What do you admire most in some faces on Instagram?

Pictures Credit: Linda Ikeji’s official Instagram handle.

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Sad Truth: Many People Who Should Be Reading Your Blog Don’t Even Know It Exists

Why do you have a blog? Do you want to be read far and wide?

How visible is your blog?

I’m sorry to tell you that many people who should be reading your blog are not even aware that it exists in the the first place!

Well, let me clarify that this post is not for those who claim that they don’t care whether someone reads their blogs or not.

If that includes you, I think you should move on to another post right now, because there is no use you continue reading this piece.

But if you think the world should read your blog, because you have something valuable to share, I think it is worth it for you to find out how more and more people can discover yourself blog to read it.

A few times I have stumbled on some blogs with great contents (by my own reckoning that is) but with very few readers or followers.

Why is that so? I believe many people are not yet aware that such a fantastic blog exists.

Granted, some of those blogs are new on the block hence I concede that it will take some time for them to gain due popularity.

What about those blogs that have been existing for a while, have great content but not much viewership? I would say there must be something missing…

It is one thing to have a blog that publishes great contents and another thing to have people visiting the blog consistently. The good part is that the two are not mutually exclusive.

Good content should attract great readership. I wish it’s that simple!

If your blog’s content is great, then readers should be swarming in. But is that your reality?

Let’s face it, your blog is just a tiny part of the hundreds of millions of blogs existing on the blogosphere and many more millions of posts churned out week in week out.

In fact, within the next 24 hours after you have read this post, another fifty thousand new blogs would have been created around the world and over two million new posts published.

So my friend, you see, it will take some efforts on your part for your blog to be discovered, read and followed. Like me, I believe you would want your blog to have visibility.

Or don’t you want your blog to be noticed?

Four ways to make your blog noticeable

1. Is your blog private or public?

The first advice I would give you here is for you to index your blog as “public.” By so doing, it will be discoverable when people do word searches on search engines such as Google.

Only those people who don’t want their blogs to be read by just anyone should be indexed “private.” That way, their blogs will not show up in Google searches, but will be available to only those they choose to invite in.

2. Write great contents

I have heard it said over and over again that when it comes to gaining traction for your blog, content is king. The argument is that if your posts are relevant and helpful to your readers, they will keep coming back for more.

I am not saying it is foolproof but it helps to have great contents on your blog.

Generally, people are searching for solutions to something. Your post might as well be the ‘miracle meal’ that satisfies their hunger.

Don’t forget that people desire to live happier. They want to live healthier. And they want to live wealthier…

Chances are that if your content consistently provides answers in any of the three areas, more and more people will be interested in your blog.

3. Promote your posts on social media

After you have published that fantastic post on your blog, don’t call it a day yet; spread the word around about your new post.

We are in the age of social media. Take a good advantage of it to promote (I don’t want to say ‘advertise’) your posts.

Just “Share your work with the world through Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks” is the best advice in this regard.

That way you will make your article available to a wider audience. Sooner or later those who so reads your article on social networks will follow you home to your blog.

You don’t have to employ all of the social media platforms out there to be able to achieve this. One or two is enough.

In my own case, Facebook and Twitter have been useful in helping people discover this blog.

With the help of Publicize, I have linked my WordPress blog to my Facebook and Twitter Accounts.

Any post I publish on the blog is automatically publicised through the two social media handles for my followers to see, read and possibly share with their own followers. You can do the same if you have not already done so.

4. Reach out to other blogs

This is about getting out of your comfort zone and connecting with other bloggers; engaging with the blogging community.

If you want your blog to be noticed, you cannot afford to stay in your cozy corner of WordPress and expect it to happen just like that. You have to deliberately interact with other blogs.

There are many ways you can achieve that: visit and read other blogs, like the posts, share a comment, link to other posts, follow other blogs you like, join a blogging community. Guest post.

When you do any or all of the above, you leave a link-trail through which people may be ‘lured’ to your blog.

If you do not make any deliberate effort to promote the posts on your blog, chances are that not everyone who should be reading your blog would be able to find it.

How do you get your blog noticed? Leave a comment.

 
©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne