So You Are A Life Coach?

Are you a life coach?
What does a life coach do?

Just like everyone else, I have encountered many kinds of coaches in my lifetime. And they come in different colours and shades towards a given end.

I am sure you remember your math coach, dance coach, music coach, swimming coach, basketball coach, football coach, chess coach, business coach and any other kind of coach you might have come across in your life.

As far as I know, people who answer to any of the coaches above possess some identifiable, specific, special skills and experiences with which they impart other people who learn from them.

I do understand those ones…But I am a bit curious about those who call themselves a life coach. Those are the people this post seeks to understand better.

A life coach!

So you are a life coach? That sounds too enormous a title to me, and I am making some efforts to wrap my mind around it. That’s why I am asking these questions.

Are you a life coach? Can anyone, including you, fill that shoe properly?

Coaches are experts in something. Are you an expert in life? Have you mastered all about life itself in all areas to qualify as a life coach?

Can you give impeccably useful direction, guidance, instruction, training, support, to anyone and everyone in life that comes to you for help? Do you have the global picture?

Life coach…

Are you really comfortable using that term to refer to who you are and what you do? Can you let me into your world please?

Just how did you come about being refered to as a life coach? Is it a divine calling or a training, or both?

So you are a life coach, or is it just a nomenclature? Are you well rounded in all areas of life? Or shouldn’t you be?

Who certified you as a life coach? Is it God? If it is not Him, then who is the mortal that can take up that responsibility?

Speak to me! What exactly do you mean when you call yourself a life coach? I ask because I do not want to misunderstand you anymore.

You are a life coach? Is that not what they call you? Or am I the one that did not hear well?

Have you known, seen, experienced and understood life in all its ramifications? Have you been to the highest heights or descended to the lowest depths, and covered all the breadths of life?

Please don’t say I am pushing it too hard on you. I am not… I just want to know about you.

Can you help people in all areas of their lives? Can you meet people’s needs at the “spirit, soul and body” levels?

Can you excellently direct people in business, in politics, in religious, in sports, in health, in education, in entertainment, in aviation, in construction, in computing, in communication, in relationships, etc? Doesn’t being a life coach entail all of the above?

I just don’t understand you when you say you are a life coach. Should I say you might be a coach in an aspect of life and not life as a whole?

May be you should come to my aid and explain to me exactly what you mean when you say you are a life coach.

I am waiting…

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

What Is Your Greatest Joy In Life?

Reason to glory on earth
Greatest joy in life

What is your greatest joy in life? Would you mind giving an honest answer to that question right now?

Before you continue reading this article, pause for a moment. And with your eyes closed, ponder a bit on the above question.

Once you have come up with an answer you are convinced about, hold it up against the brilliant light of the Scripture quoted below. (The purpose of doing that is to ensure that what you hold as your greatest joy on earth properly aligns with what God says should be your greatest joy).

Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches:

But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.
Jeremiah 9:23-24.

From the above passage of the Scriptures, you can see at least three reasons to glory in life:

  • Intelligence – The wise man glories in his wisdom;
  • Strength – The mighty one glories in his might;
  • Wealth – The rich man glories in his riches.

But God wants the reason for your joy to be beyond the fact that you possess some high level of wisdom, intellectual power, physical strength, wealth or achievements in life.

He wants you to rejoice in the fact that you know Him as “the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth.”

If your greatest joy is based on the things of the world, then your joy will be temporary. But a joy based on your knowing God will have no ending.

I first began to perceive the truths of Jeremiah 9:23-24 at a crucial point in time during my undergraduate days.

One mid-morning like that while reading my Bible, the scripture quoted above literally leapt off the pages of the Bible right into my heart with a force so meaningful that I was left without any iota of doubt on the fundamental reason I should glory in life.

I was doing relatively well in school then, despite the harsh academic environment of that time. My grades were moving up against all odds. I thought that was a good reason to praise God.

“Yes, it was,” you might want to agree with me. But God had to put things in better perspectives for me. He graciously showed me that there was a greater reason I had to rejoice than academic progress.

Now I know better… so I am sharing it with you, with the hope that you will see some light in it too.

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, your greatest joy in life should not be based on the fact that you passed your exams, you got promoted at work, you bought a dream car, moved into your dream home, married your dream spouse, or had some other great goals you have accomplished.

Those are not bad reasons to be joyful. But your joy has to be based on something of eternal significance and not on things of ephemeral value. It has to be based on your relationship with God, not on things of the world.

For emphasis sake, l will have to say it again:

  • Your greatest joy should be that you know the Lord.
  • Your greatest joy should be the joy of your salvation.
  • Your greatest joy should be that your name is written in the Book of Life.

Jesus validated this position during one of the feedback conversations He had with His disciples as recorded in the Gospels.

According to the account in Luke chapter 10, Jesus had sent out seventy-two of His followers to go preach the gospel of the Kingdom around the neighbouring towns and villages. These specially appointed men went out and accomplished the evangelistic mandate given to them by their Master.

More so, they returned with joyful testimonies, declaring that demons were subjected to them in the name of Jesus.

The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

You would have thought that the identified reason these rookie evangelists were filled with joy was good enough for them to rejoice as they did. But Jesus raised the bar when He responded to them saying, “…do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

“That your name is written in Heaven should be your greatest joy,” Jesus says.

Therefore, whatever you are able to accomplish on earth – whether in spiritual or secular things – should not be your greatest joy. Neither should your joy be in what this world can offer you. Rather your greatest joy should be that your name is written in the book of life in Heaven.

If you are not sure your name is there already in the book of life, you can get it in by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour now. There is no other way to achieve that.

What is your greatest joy in life? Share your views.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Learn, Always Learn 2

Learn, always learn by Victor Uyanwanne
Things to learn from 2

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your friends.
Learn from your enemies.
Learn from everyone in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your failures.
Learn from your Successes.
Learn from the processes in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from those who rejoice.
Learn from those who mourn.
Learn from other people in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from those who celebrate you.
Learn from those who criticise you.
Learn from the indifferent ones in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn when on the mountain top.
Learn when in the valley below.
Learn when anywhere in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from your weakness.
Learn from your strength.
Learn from anything in-between.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from males and females.
Learn from babies and adults.
Learn from everyone in-between.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

Learn, Always Learn!

Learn, always learn.
Things to learn from

Learn, always learn.
Learn from people.
Learn from things.
Learn from books.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from places.
Learn from events.
Learn from history.

Learn, always learn.
Learn from nature.
Learn from animals.
Learn from all creatures.

Learn, always learn
Learn from every experience.
Learn from the good or the bad.
Learn, everytime, everywhere.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

6 Simple Reasons You Should Be Doing What You Love

Following your passion

It is a brand new year. A new beginning. How about spending the whole year following your passion or doing what you love? It is not impossible to do so! And this post will show you why.

I was going through a blog recently when I  came across what I would consider a brutally honest statement that got me thinking deeply. “I have never done anything that I truly loved, except for mommyhood,” said the author of that blog.

The curious part to me is that the author said she possesses three academic degrees. So I took it that her statement quoted above couldn’t have been because she didn’t have any good opportunities at all. But rather because, she probably had not found one that sufficiently fit her love and passion at the “right price.”

“As far as getting paid to do something [is concerned],” she explained, “it has been hard to find a truly good fit for me.” While pondering on the issue, it didn’t take too long for me to see that many people have been caught up in the same job quagmire – against their innermost desires.

If you are one of such persons, maybe it’s time to have a rethink! By that I mean, it is either you find a way to love what you do, or you find what you love and begin to do it.

If you are for the latter option, then make a change! Take the risk…Branch out!  Or how long are you going to continue doing what you don’t love?

“As long as it pays my bills,” you might want to say. That’s a familiar answer, I know. But if that matters to you more than self-actualisation or personal fulfilment, then the choice is entirely yours to maintain the status quo. Nothing more to worry about!

In that case, you may want to take my first suggestion: find a way to love what you do. But there are people who will argue that it is better to follow your passion than being stuck in a job you don’t like just because of the economic reward it offers – money!

But then, the question will be, “Is making good money and following your passion mutually exclusive in the long run?” Maybe not…

But who says you can’t possibly find a job that you love that pays your bills too? Who says more money will not follow you if you follow your passion?

Why then are you feeling stuck doing the job you don’t love? Could it be because you are afraid of making the necessary changes in your personal goals? Or is it that you don’t want to leave your comfort zone? Or vacate certainty for uncertainty?

Overall, it could be very frustrating spending your valuable time (life) doing what you hate. On the other hand, doing what you love in the long run can:

1. Make you happier in life;

2. Boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm at the job;

3. Bring you some level of personal fulfilment you might not find doing something else;

4. Mean less frustration  for you on the job;

5. Enable you to make more impact in your sphere of influence; and hopefully,

6. Bring you more reward (financial and/or otherwise).

Are you already doing what you love? And are you getting paid handsomely for doing it? I believe that’s what the author I cited earlier was angling for.

You too should get to the point of doing what you love and making money through it as well. It is possible. That’s where the ultimate fun and fulfilment are.

If you are already there, please enjoy it and don’t forget to share your story so that millions of people out there can learn from you. But it has to be said that everything is not about doing what you love and making much money through it. Adding value to people’s lives also matters.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. Share yours in the comment section.

©CopyRight 2017 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Simple Ways A Christian Youth Can Build His or Her Self Confidence

the righteous are as bold as a lion.

Every body needs to have self-confidence – that “feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.” Not much progress can be made by a life ravaged by self-doubt, especially if you are a young person.

Earlier in the year, I had the privilege of being invited to speak to a group of Christian youths. The talk centred on building self-confidence as a Christian youth. This post presents an excerpt from the things I shared with those beautiful young minds.

5 simple ways you can consistently build up your self-confidence.

1. Live righteously

As a Christian youth, don’t be a law-breaker. Live righteously and you will have no course to bury your head in shame. Provide 28:1 tells us that “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.”

There is a kind of self-confidence that comes from living a righteous life that you can’t get by any other means. In other words, living righteously makes you bold.  You cannot afford to live your life anyhow. The word of God should be your ultimate guide in life.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. Psalm 119:9.

Obedience to the word of God will help you build your self-esteem. David boldly said, “… I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands,” Psalm 119:6.

2. Have a good image about yourself.

As a Christian youth, how do you see yourself? How you see yourself will affect your level of confidence.

Remember that you are a son or a daughter of the most-high God. Do not harbour thoughts that undermine this lofty position of yours.

You know what the Bible says: As a man thinks in his heart, so is he  (Prov. 23:7). We can paraphrase this to read, “As a youth thinks in his heart so is he.”

When it comes to building your self-confidence as a Christian youth, it matters how you see yourself. If you see yourself as a nonentity, you will carry yourself as one. If you see yourself as a beloved child of God, you naturally feel that way.

You should have a positive image of who you are. If you always think negatively about yourself, your self-esteem will be low and your confidence level will be low too.

Focus on who you are in Christ. That’s your most important identity. Don’t let anything else define you. Irrespective of your socioeconomic status, remember that Christ in you is the hope of glory.

3. Dress well

As a Christian youth, you can’t feel confident about yourself dressing in a sloppy way. Let your dressing be always on point and you will have one more reason to feel confident. As the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa once advised, “Dress the way you want to be addressed.”

You don’t have to dress outlandishly to prove a point. Dress neatly and smartly. Even the Bible says, “wash your clothes,” (Numb 21:24), so personal cleanliness should be taken seriously.

4. Be very good at what you do.

This is a challenge to be excellent in whatever you do. Excel in your studies, in your career or vocation. Whatever your hands find to do as a Christian youth, do them well. Don’t find an excuse to be lazy or be mediocre.

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean [men]. Proverbs 22:29

You have what it takes to excel in life.  The Spirit of God is in you. The wisdom of God is accessible to you. The power of God is available to you.

5. Be knowledgeable.

The wheel of progress is largely driven by knowledge. As a Christian youth in this information age, do not be left behind in the quest for relevant knowledge.

Know your scriptures and know more than the scriptures too. Whether it is history or sciences, know more than the average person. Refuse to be a pushover…

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2Timothy 2:15.

As much as you can, gather knowledge; read voraciously, study widely, research deeply and attend relevant seminars. Do everything within your power to be knowledgeable in at least one or two areas of endeavour.

Always be in the know. You have heard that knowledge is power. Knowledge gives you an edge. Let me add that knowledge boosts confidence too.

How else can a Christian youth build self-confidence? Please share and leave a comment.

 

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

​3 Things You Do That Show What Matters To You.

3 things you do that show what matter to you

You will often do what matters to you. In other words, the traceable patterns of what you do over a long period of time paint a vivid picture of your most dominant inner inclinations.

Let me share with you three simple things you do that show what you consider important to you.

1. What you spend your time on.

What you regularly spend your time on indicates what interests you or matters more to you. Where you often spend your time tells alot about where your heart is. How you spend your time demonstrates something about your dominant passion.

You can’t control time but you can control what you use it for. You can use your time to your advantage or to your disadvantage.

You use it to advantage if you use it on things you value. Because time is not available to you in unlimited quantity, it is imperative that you use it wisely. One of the best ways of doing that is to use your time for things that matter in the long run.

Take a proper look at the things you spend your time doing. Ask yourself, “Are they really worth it?” If not, then you will have to make some changes that will involve reordering your priorities.

2. What you spend your money on.

You will not spend your hard-earned money on sh*t except you value it. Just like time, you do not have unlimited amount of money. Therefore, you will often want to spend your money on the things that give you the most value. (Of course, I assume you are a wise spender).

Even if I don’t know you before, if you show me your bank statement and/or your expense records, it will not take long for me to figure out the things that matter to you. Except you spend your money under duress, most often than not, your expenses will flow in the same direction as your interests and aspirations. In order words, what you spend money on often is an indication of what matters to you.

Now is the time to review your expense records to see if you have been spending money on things that do not matter to you. You know what to do after the check!

3. The company you keep.

Just like everyone else, you like to be in the company of the people you love and people that love you  or people that share your values. As they say,  “Birds of a feather always flock together.

Only a few people will consistently hang out with the wrong crowd. If you are in any crowd, it should not take long to figure out whether you are a ‘misfit’ or not. This realisation will either prompt you to blend in or to retrace your steps.

The people you are willing and glad to hang out with are pointers to your interests and aspirations. If you have interest in music, I will not be surprised to see you hang around ‘musical’ people both online and physically. I often find myself ‘following’ bloggers and other writers because of interest.

Are the people you hang out with leading you in the direction of your goals? If your answer is ‘no’, then you are in the wrong company.

Conclusion

What you frequently spend your money on, what you regularly do with your time and the kind of company you keep are good indicators of what matters to you. You may want to retrace your steps if you find that where you are presently on these three patterns do not represent your long term values or objectives.

What do you think?

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

You Are Not Too Old To Be Happy

Nobody is too old to be happy, Victor Uyanwanne

No matter who or how old you are
Know that you are surely a shining star.
No matter what you have been told.
Be happy, you are not yet too old.

Do not let your perceived old age
Make you feel like a bird in a cage.
That you have been around for a while
Is enough reason to make you smile.

You have seen many life’s seasons
That have given you multiple reasons
Which we see have made you wise
In yours, and in our youthful eyes.

Try and forget the pain of yester years
And your many treacherous days of tears.
Rejoice in the moments you have and now.
Please find out if you don’t know how.

To you Facebook may look like magic.
Without it doesn’t mean your life is tragic.
Even if all you ever knew was a real ‘picture book’.
Smile as your grandsons splash your pictures on Facebook.

You may not have known how to tweet
But hasn’t your life been very sweet?
Even if yours hasn’t been a life of ease
Be you not bitter to your grave, please.

Before you ultimately return to your Maker.
Or become an item for the undertaker
Endeavour to heal all known sores.
And seek not to settle old scores.

It is true you have come of age.
But don’t quit being happy at this stage.
Even though your journey has been bumpy
You are never too old to be happy.

 

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

Beautiful and Talented: Who, Me?

Talented, beautiful, handsome

If you are asked to mention #talented people, don’t count yourself out.

If you are asked to mention #beautiful / #handsome people, don’t count yourself out.

You are beautiful / handsome and you are talented .

You may not feel like it sometimes, but you are still talented.

You may not feel like it all the time, but you are still beautiful / handsome.

No matter who you are and where you are from, take it from me: You are beautiful / handsome and talented!

I know this because I know you were fearfully and wonderfully made.

Have you ever had that feeling of not being talented or  beautiful / handsome enough? How did you handle it?
©2016 CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

2 Missing Treasures Found in The Midst of Chaos

Lost but Found

It’s been my desire to build a private library in my bedroom for a while now. To that effect, I have been acquiring scores of books covering many areas of interest such as leadership, productivity, parenting, character and talent development, faith, prayer, prosperity, evangelism, business, public speaking, and so on.

But as I am yet to build the appropriate shelf to arrange the books away as nicely as they should be, I have them temporarily stacked up on an average sized table placed at a far corner of my bedroom.

From there I can always take any book to read as often as I am able to do so. One obvious constraint I have with this arrangement is that the retrieval of any specific book is always difficult.

Most often than not, the title I want to read is always tucked in the middle of the others, or so it seems. Therefore, I always have to scatter a few others in order to get to the one I want.

This was the situation I found myself during the penultimate week of June 2016. I had scurried through the stack to fish out a nice book to read during the few days I took off work. In the process, I had inadvertently strewn a few other unneeded books here and there on the floor around the table, with the hope that I would rearrange them back later.

Little did I know that this was a sufficient invitation for my energetic 2 and 4-year old boys to help do further unsolicited scattering. I came back to the room several hours later only to find all the books scattered everywhere on the floor. Instead of the usual stack, what I saw was an empty table with all the books sprung everywhere on the floor.

I stood there dumbfounded. “What type of chaos is this?” I asked myself, without expecting any meaningful explanation from the two toddlers who obviously had a nice time scattering the books on the carpeted floor.

I quickly drove them out of the room and called my wife to see what these boys had done in the bedroom. She too could not believe her sight….

Chaotic mess of books

I was obviously not happy with the chaotic situation I met on the bedroom floor. But I would not ‘kill’ the children for it. I simply abandoned the room partly for a few days… I had more important things to do… It wasn’t until the third day before I returned to arrange the books back on the temporary ‘shelf’. And it took me almost three hours to get the job neatly done.

But I discovered to my utmost surprise that I had tremendous fun doing it. I skimmed through all the titles and had the books sorted according to their authors (I read authors as much as I read titles). In the end, I had all the books back and stacked neatly on the table till when the proper bookshelf would be provided.

Here was the most interesting part of the exercise of bringing order out of the chaos: I found two precious items that made me so grateful.

One was a diary I had kept about 8 years ago, which I didn’t know its whereabouts. As I flipped through its pages, I found poems, songs and other thoughts I had personally written down previously, which I had never shared with anyone. I came to realise that many of them would be suitable for posts on this blog in the weeks to come. Honestly, it will be my joy to share them with you.

The second thing I found was the last updated manuscript of a book I had written over 10 years ago which I am yet to publish. Our home computer then had crashed and unfortunately I couldn’t  recover the soft copy. So the surviving print out meant everything to me. But I couldn’t trace it until that day, due to a change in our accommodation then.

All I had before I found this one was an older version of the manuscript. Now I am grateful that I can now revisit the newest version, have it reviewed again and then hopefully have it published someday.

Although I was initially annoyed that my children scattered my books into a chaotic mess, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. And out of what I perceived to be a disorderly situation, I found two treasures I thought I had previously lost. All things worked out together for my good, I might say!

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Please leave a word or two in the comment section.

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

6 Simple Reasons To Forgive Offences

Benefits of forgiveness

Everyone needs forgiveness.  On the other hand, everyone needs to offer forgiveness too. And as you well know,  ‘everyone’ here includes you!

“If there is no offence, there will be no forgiveness,” they say. And if someone offends you, you have the choice to either forgive or hold a grudge. Either way, there is always at least a benefit or a consequence.

Giving forgiveness to your offender may not be easy, but it is worth your while to extend it wherever it is needed.  Other wise, you would be shooting yourself in the leg if you hold on to the offence, without forgiving.

Here are 5 simple reasons you should learn to forgive others and let go of that vengeful feeling you may have against anyone who offended you:

  1. God has forgiven your offences and He expects you to forgive others too.

We have all fallen below God’s standards. But by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, He is no longer holding our sins against us; we have been forgiven.

By the same token, you should no longer hold anyone’s offence against them: forgive them! It is more beneficial to give forgiveness than to hold it back.

  1. Unforgiveness is a big weight, free yourself from it.

Some offences against you may appear too terrible and hard to forgive. But guess who suffers more when you refuse to forgive others? You! That’s right, you!

I once heard someone say that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting another person to be hurt by it. That’s absurd. Isn’t it?

You may choose to disagree with me but it is in your best interest to forgive anyone that offends you. The burden is too heavy to bear if you don’t forgive.

  1. Don’t you expect others to forgive you too?

No one is perfect – and that includes you! It is self-deception to think that you have never needed or will ever need forgiveness from anyone.

Meaning that if you ever expect to be forgiven when you do wrong to others, (which I know you will, because you are still human), then you must show the same gesture to others who wronged  or offended you.

  1. Happiness and unforgiveness don’t mix.

Personal happiness is one of the most pursued goals in life. But a heart that refuses to forgive will never find true personal happiness and fulfillment; You reduce your chances of finding happiness if you deliberately fail to show forgiveness to others.

Offering forgiveness is a veritable avenue to let off some toxins impeding your emotional health. Just as tobacco smoking is injurious to your health so is unforgiveness unhealthy for your emotional well-being.

I AM FORGIVEN

  1. You have the capacity to forgive, no need pretending otherwise. 

“I am unable to forgive,” you might say. That’s not true my dear. No matter how deeply you might have been hurt, you can still forgive if you chose to do so.

It is even easier if you allow God to work through, and in, you. By the power of forgiveness God has put in you, you can forgive any offence against you.

Use that power of love that is already in you to forgive others their offences. You will be happier for it.

  1. Forgive yourself to be able to forgive others.

Forgiving others entails forgiving yourself. If you can’t forgive yourself, neither will you be able to extent forgiveness to other people.

Do you love yourself? Then you must forgive yourself so that you can forgive others or even receive forgiveness  from other people too.

 

Is there any offence against you that you are yet to forgive? You would continue to be hurt if you choose not to forgive. But you will enjoy a sense of release and peace if you will decide to forgive that offence today. It might be a tough decision but you can take it.

Those who say revenge is sweet have not tasted the power of forgiveness. Has  giving or receiving forgiveness ever benefited you? Please leave a comment.

 

 

©CopyRight 2016| Victor Uyanwanne

6 Startling Questions I Would Love To Ask You

Written by Victor Uyanwanne

talent, book, spirual

Have you ever asked yourself some serious questions? Has anyone ever dared to ask you any question that unnerved you? Are you making the best sense of your life now?

Are you satisfied with the status quo you found yourself in? Can the answers you get by asking yourself some unusual questions help improve your lot in life? Has any question ever challenged you to seeking better ways of leading a happier, healthier and even wealthier life?

You will agree with me that asking appropriate questions is good. That is exactly what I felt like doing in this post: ask you a few surprising questions.

You are free to ask your own questions as well. But first please spare a few minutes more and read to the end of this discourse. Then you can release your own repertoire of questions: to me, to yourself and to any other person you deem fit.

That’s why we are here: to inspire one another to live a better and happier life.

I will begin by holding up my own end; I am going to ask you a few fundamental questions. You don’t owe me any answers. But you do owe it to yourself to sincerely resolve the questions I am putting across in this post.

Here are 6 startling questions I would like to ask you. I hope that the answer you will give to at least one of them will spur you to living a more meaningful life:

1. Do you know the purpose of your existence in life?

You are not in this world for nothing. Just as everything in life exists for a purpose, you were created for a purpose.

The greatest joy in life comes from doing what you were created to do. Your greatest value to humanity is embedded in fulfilling your life’s purpose. Therein also lies your greatest eternal reward.

Your reward doesn’t come from running other people’s races, but in running yours. If you want to hear the Master say, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” you must be sure to find out what the Master wants you to do in your lifetime and seek to get it done.

2. Are you satisfied with where you are in life right now?

If you are not, are you doing anything to change your position? Remember that popular cliche, “You can achieve anything you set your mind on.” That’s something to think about!

No matter where you are or have achieved, there is still room for more.

  • You desire spiritual growth? Work at it.
  • You want a fitter body? Be given to regular physical exercise and mind your diet as well.
  • You feel ignorant in some fields? Take up reading in those areas.
  • You desire to have quality time with your family? Create it.

The point here is that, if you are not satisfied with where you are, do something to improve on it.

Biography

3. What talent do you have that you haven’t really explored yet?

It is generally believed that most people never fully harness all their potentials in their lifetime. But you can be a different statistic.

Look at yourself very well and also elicit the opinions of friends and family. You will come up with an idea of any latent talent you have that you can further explore.

I have been involved in other professions for most of my working life. Now I am beginning to exploring my writing skills. That was what gave birth to this blog. You would probably not have known that I existed if not for this step.

My humble advice would be for you to find out what talent you have that you have not really explored. Begin to use it and be a blessing to the world around you and afar off.

4. Are you regularly doing the same thing in the same way while expecting a different result?

That, we are told, is another definition of insanity. I once heard a popular American international televangelist say, “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got”.

That’s simple, isn’t it? Like they say in elementary computing, “garbage in garbage out.” So if you want a different result, do things differently. You might be surprised at what you will get.

Take a different route to the destination you have always visited. At least the different scenery you will see along the new route will be a needed fresh breath.

5. Have you ever considered writing a book?

You should be doing that if you haven’t done it by now. One of my greatest desires in life is to write books that will positively impact peoples’ lives. You shouldn’t leave this world without at least one book to your name.

When your life passes away your voice will cease. But through your books, you could still be speaking from the grave. If nothing else, the world could use your (auto)biography. There are unique things about your life history and experiences that posterity will learn from.

No one can tell your story like you would do. Write a book, tell the world your story.

6. Are you one of those who believe that there is no God?

If yes, be aware that you have believed a lie that has an eternal consequence if not remedied. I will be frank with you on this: God exists whether you believe it or not. The earlier you can find out about Him for yourself the better for you both in time and in eternity.

God exists

Permit me to use this medium to tell you that right now God is calling you into a relationship with Him through His only Son Jesus Christ. Forget about what you were told, dismantle your previous mindset on this and seek God yourself with an open mind. Give Jesus an invitation into your heart and I can assure you He will honor it.

Where you touched by any of the above questions? What are the answers you have for any of the questions, or do you feel like asking more questions? Let’s share with one another.

©Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

16 Powerful Benefits of Asking Questions You Should Know

Written by Victor Uyanwanne

16 powerful benefits of asking questions

Leaders ask questions. Followers too need to ask the right questions to move ahead.

Whoever you are, everyone should develop the habit of asking the right questions. Whatever position or occupation you may find yourself in, there are appropriate questions you should ask to get the clearest pictures of things or about people.

The essence of asking questions is to get answers. If you don’t have the answers you need, then you should ask the questions you have. There are some things you may never know or understand, except you ask the right questions.

Let me ask you: Are you ashamed or afraid to ask questions? You shouldn’t be!

A Chinese proverb I came across reads: He who asks questions remains a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask questions remains a fool forever.

There are many things you stand to gain if you will dare to ask the right questions.

Here are 16 powerful benefits of asking questions you should know:

  1. Assists to clarify your thoughts – Asking questions will help you to clarify your thoughts and those of others too. If someone says something to you and you don’t understand it, it is more honourable to ask questions for more clarifications than to make unsafe assumptions.
  1. Helps to elicit interest from your audience – Don’t you know a few people who won’t talk to you until you ask them questions? You can use questions to break the ice! On many occasions, I have used questions to start conversations with people I met for the first time. It works with me!
  1. Demonstrates your interest in other people/things – who/what you ask questions about reveals whom/what you are interested in. The questions you ask reveal what matters to you. The questions you don’t ask but you should ask also communicate some things about you.
  1. Clears or reduces your doubts – You can sometimes deal with your suspicions and doubts by asking the right questions. If you get the right answers to your questions, they will either dispel or validate your doubts.
  1. Improves your knowledge – Naturally, questions can be used in the quest for knowledge. What you don’t know that you should have known is probably what you haven’t asked about. You can ask Google if you are afraid to ask people.
  1. Enhances your understanding – If you don’t understand something, ask questions until you grasp it well enough. I used to have a very funny teacher that would tell the class: If you don’t ask any question, that means you understood everything I thought you today. Otherwise, ask now!
  1. Enhances your communication skills – communication is not complete until there is an understanding and feedback. Asking relevant questions will help you to achieve better understanding of any subject matter in discourse.
  1. Enhances trust – Asking the right questions and getting appropriate responses may promote good communication and friendly communication builds trust. You need trust to build any meaningful relationships.
  1. Helps you to solidify relationships – As trust level increases through the good answers you get to your questions, the cord of good relationship toughens.
  1. Tool for sifting information – Asking the right questions helps you separate relevant information from irrelevant ones. Not all information you get are useable. You can use questions to separate the grains from the chaff.
  1. Promotes better decision making – Good information is the heart of a good decision making process. The answers you get from asking questions will affect the quality of the decisions you make.
  1. Saves time and other resources. Have you ever tried to locate something or some place on your own for hours without finding it? And then you decided to ask someone about it and you got immediate help that showed you what you were looking for? Imagine the amount of time you would have saved if you had asked the question ab ni tio!
  1. Removes or reduces prejudices – If you ask the right questions and you get the right answers, you will soon get to discover that there is no need to hang on to some previously held misconceptions about some things and especially about some people.
  1. Promotes personal confidence – Believe it or not, your ability to ask the right questions is a kind of pointer to your level of confidence. Confident people ask questions. Don’t wait to boost your confidence before you begin to ask questions. Boost your level of confidence by asking questions.
  1. Clarifies direction – “He who asks questions never misses his way,” so says an African proverb. If you don’t know where you are going, ask questions to get the needed direction.
  1. Enhances your personal effectiveness – Knowing what to do and achieving results thereon could partly be a function of the questions you ask and the answers you get. What you don’t know, ask! Once you know, act!

Have you ever gained any benefits from asking questions? Please share your experience.

 

P.S. Adapted from a previous post on this blog: YOU NEED TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, THIS IS WHY

Who Should You Blame When You Are Unhappy?


YOUR HAPPINESS

 

 

 

 

When you feel unhappy, are you ever tempted to blame someone else for it? Well, it happens…

But it doesn’t make it right.

How would you feel if someone else blamed you for his/her unhappiness? Your happiness is in your hands.

So…..

1.      If you are not happy as an employee, don’t blame it on your employer.

2.      If you are not happy as a citizen of your country, don’t blame it on your Government.

3.      If you are not happy as a teacher, don’t blame it on your students.

4.      If you are not happy as a student, don’t blame it on your teacher.

5.      If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse.

6.      If you are not happy as a child, don’t blame it on your parents.

7.      If you are not happy as a parent, don’t blame it on your children.

8.      If you are not happy as a player, don’t blame it on your coach.

9.      If you are not happy as a team member, don’t blame it on your other team members.

10.  If you are not happy as a pastor, don’t blame it on your congregation.

11.  If you are not happy as a member of your congregation, don’t blame it on your pastor.

12.  Most importantly if you are not happy with your life, don’t blame it on God.

 

Have you ever been tempted to blame someone else when unhappy? How did you handle it? Please share a word….

 

Excerpt from a previous post  “WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

 

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Written By Victor Uyanwanne

Negative thinking stifles creative energy

“Happy new year” to you. If you are reading this post, it means you made it into the much awaited new year, 2016. To that extent, I would heartily say to you ‘congratulations’.

Many people begin a new year loaded with what is popularly known as ‘new year resolution’. Fortunate are you if you are one of those very few people who are always able to follow through with their new year resolution. As you are well aware of, it is widely acknowledged that a high percentage of people who make new year resolutions are unable to carry on with it till the end of the set goal.

Failure to achieve the set goal may often lead to unhappiness, regrets and even depression. For you to really have a happy new year, I have the following suggestions to put forth:

Consider what goes on in your mind. The battle of life will often being won or lost in your mind. Cultivate positive thoughts. Negative thinking stifles creative energy. “Think about what you are thinking”, someone once advised me. If any of your thoughts do not contribute to your happiness, health and wealth and that of those around you, there should be no use accommodating such thoughts. Consider your thoughts.

Your words will make or mar you. One suggestion I will give you for the new year is that you should not say negative things about you, your life or your circumstances. Your words will naturally flow from your thoughts. If you are able to cultivate only positive thoughts in your heart, speaking positive words will not be a herculean task. Consider your words because they will either speak in your favour or stand against you.

Have a clear idea of what you want to do/achieve. You can call it goal-setting if you like but it’s important you do it in this new year. It is often said that if you don’t know where you are going, you may not know when you get there. Knowing what to do and how to do it are a powerful combination that will enable you to win out during the year.

All your actions are important. Do things that tend toward the attainment of your goals. By the end of 2016, what you become or fail to become will be a sum total of what you did or failed to do in the course of the year. Therefore, it is wisdom to start watching your actions from day one, week one and month one of the new year. I am not suggesting you should be hard on yourself. But you have to try your best to do your best from the outset. That way you would be sure of getting greater value out of the new year.

Try something new. I know you like your comfort zone – most people do. But you will never experience the kind of joy that comes only from conquering new ‘territories’ if you remain in your comfort zone. As you go through the new year, try out new things; do something different from what you are used to. Expand your experience, broaden your horizon. I must add that this is not an advice to clutter your schedule unnecessarily. I know you know how far to go.

By the end of 2016, what you become or fail to become will be a sum total of what you did or failed to do in the course of the year.

HAVE A REALLY HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

©Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP WISHING

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP WISHING

By Victor Uyanwanne

NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER

If we continue to live in the past, we will not enjoy the present and we will mess up the future. This is why we should leave the unpleasant past where it belongs and cease from regretting over some things we cannot change in our lives.

“Stop wishing and start living” should be the appropriate advice here!

In the light of this, I have come up with the list of a few things we should grow up beyond and stop regretting over:

1.  I wish I was younger!

It’s obvious you are older now, so why still cry over spilt milk? You missed some good opportunities when you were younger, but you also had some good memories. Now that you are older, you can’t get them back any more.

Grow up and make the most of your older age now. Otherwise, the older you get, the wider your margin of regrets becomes.

If you spend today regretting about yesterday, you will spend tomorrow regretting about today.

2.  I wish I had more time!

Excuse me please! Hasn’t God given all of us 24 hours in a day? How come your neighbour had enough time to do what he had to do and you didn’t? How come your colleague was able to deliver that time-bound report and you weren’t?

Plan well, prioritize, do what you have to do when you have to do it and you will see you have all the time in the world to do the things that matter to you.

There is always enough time to do anything we really want to do. Someone once said, “It is the thing you really don’t want to do that you don’t have time for.”

3.  I wish I married a different person than my spouse!

Come off it please! What if your spouse too has the same thoughts about you? You were so dumb to propose to the person you got married to and she too was so dumb to scream “Yes, yes. I will marry you.” That’s your decision, it’s too late to change that now.

Whomever you got married to has become the right person to be married to. Do away with all regrets about whom you got married to. Make that relationship work now. Shut the door on the divorce option and you will see that no unhappy marriage is irredeemable.

Enjoy the present
Leave the past behind

4.  I wish I had more education.

Formal education is good but that’s not the greatest ticket to success and happiness in life. If you think you need more education than you currently have, go get it. But if it’s no longer possible for you to do so, get over it and stop regretting.

True education could come from other places besides the four walls of a university. In any case, never stop learning.

5.  I wish I was a billionaire!

I am not being pessimistic if I say that some wishes will never come through. But that doesn’t have to be yours. Just that as a 16th century English Language proverb says, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”. Simply put, people don’t always have everything they wish for.

If you want to become a billionaire, work towards it. You are neither too young nor too old to become a billionaire. The last time I checked on the Forbes list of world’s richest men, it had both young and old people on it.

In any case, if you have found out how to become a billionaire, please  let me in on it because I am searching too.

6.   I wish I was born into a rich family!

Thank you for letting me know that your father is neither a Bill Gates (the richest man on Earth) nor an Aliko Dangote (the richest black man on Earth). But that’s as far as it should go. Never blame your parents for not being as rich as you wished they should be.

It is neither yours nor their fault. But know one thing, your life can be better than those of your parents. You can be richer than your parents if you properly take your good chances in life. That’s what you should be doing and not regretting over the economy of your parents.

7.  I wish I chose a different career path!

Fortunate are those who made the right choices as far as their career is concerned. If you are not one of such people, there is no need to keep regretting over it. It’s either you make the most of the career path you are on now or you make a career switch.

I once read the story of a Nigerian school teacher who later went on to become a medical doctor at the age of 50 years. When a journalist asked him about it, he responded, “I have always wanted to be a doctor.”

I thought that was fantastic until I heard about Genevie Kocourek who achieved similar fit at the age of 59 years.

8.  I wish I was created with a different gender!

Why can’t you accept who you are? Are you a man wishing you were a woman or a woman wishing you were a man?. That’s of no use! You are good enough as either a man or woman you were created to be.

What about those who are transgender (oops, I have finally used that word)? I wished you wouldn’t ask, because I don’t have an opinion now.

Please share what you think.

© Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, BLAME THIS GUY

By Victor Uyanwanne

Everyone wants to be happy in life but not everyone is happy. You don’t need to look hard enough around you in your family, workplace, church and neighbourhoods to find huge evidences to support that assertion.

I once rode on a public bus in Lagos, Nigeria, with someone who claimed she didn’t want to be wealthy in life. Of course she stated her reasons, even though I felt differently about her position after listening to her. But I am yet to meet anyone who doesn’t want to be happy in life.

In this article, I do not mean to explain why people are not as happy as they should. But it is my objective to point out who people should not blame if they find that they are not as happy as can be.

Who to blame if you are not happy

Have you not noticed that most people who are not happy blame other people but themselves for not being happy? I don’t know about you, as for me, I know that I would not feel nice if someone blamed me for his unhappiness.

Please be honest with me now, how would you feel if other people blamed their unhappiness on you? I am sure you would not like it too! So if you don’t like other people blaming their unhappiness on you, never feel justified to blame your own unhappiness on other people.

If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse. 

That has to be said because it seems to be natural to blame someone else once anything goes wrong.

“Whatever you do with your life don’t blame me,” an angry mum once said to her wayward teenager. That sounds like a familiar tune in some families.

Right or wrong, even you may have someone you may readily feel is responsible for your unhappiness. But blaming someone else for your unhappiness will not cause you to be truly happy.

Here now is the big question: If you are not happy in life, who should you blame? The answer is……………  NO ONE!

Actually, a better advice would be that you should take responsibility for your perceived unhappiness and snap yourself out of it.  I am not saying it’s easy but it can be done. No one can do it for you except you.

Looking for Happiness
Looking for Happiness

In a previous post on this blog, it was asserted that the key to your happiness is in your hands – not in the hands of another person. As everyone is responsible for his own destiny, so is everyone responsible for his own happiness. That is to say, if you are not happy, don’t blame another person.

But what do we see in people who are not happy? They blame others for their unhappiness! Unhappy mothers blame their children. Unhappy children blame their parents. An unhappy spouse blames the other half, and so on and so forth.

Should it always be so? My candid answer would be a huge NO. Here are my summarized takes on it:

    1. If you are not happy as an employee, don’t blame it on your employer.

    2. If you are not happy as a citizen of your country, don’t blame it on your Government.
    3. If you are not happy as a teacher, don’t blame it on your students.
    4. If you are not happy as a student, don’t blame it on your teacher.
    5. If you are not happy as a husband/wife, don’t blame it on your spouse.
    6. If you are not happy as a child, don’t blame it on your parents.

    7. If you are not happy as a parent, don’t blame it on your children.
    8. If you are not happy as a player, don’t blame it on your coach.
    9. If you are not happy as a team member, don’t blame it on your other team members.
    10. If you are not happy as a pastor, don’t blame it on your congregation.
    11. If you are not happy as a member of your congregation, don’t blame it on your pastor.
    12. Most importantly if you are not happy with your life, don’t blame it on God.

You have read my thoughts. Please feel free to share yours. I will be glad to read your comments.

© Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

11 Hard Lessons For Personal Happiness You Should Know

By Victor Uyanwanne
To be happy, make others happy.

The responsibility to be happy and stay happy lies with you. That is to say that if you leave yourself at the mercy of others to make you happy, you will often be disappointed because no one person can make you happy all the time – not even your spouse.
You have the right to be happy and you have the freedom to seek happiness.  But don’t put yourself in a situation where your personal happiness is 100% dependent on other people.

When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour.

No one but you can make you happy. This was well addressed on this blog in the post before this one.

Who to blame if you are not happy.

Let your happiness depend on YOU. In other words, you can choose whether or not to be happy. It is entirely up to you, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances around you.

To achieve this, there are some interrelated hard lessons on the responsibility for personal happiness you should know:

  1. You are responsible for your own happiness.  This sounds hard but it is true. If you can’t make yourself happy always, no one else will.
  1. Except you are still an infant, no one owes it to you to make you happy. Infants can’t take the responsibility for their own happiness. The burden is naturally that of their caregivers, parents or guardians.
  1. Although no one owes it to you to make you happy, you owe it to other people to contribute to their own happiness. Even the Bible says, “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.” So next time you see someone, remember that you owe him love.
  1. When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour. While it is expected of you to contribute to someone’s happiness, it is only an act of favour if someone contributes to make you happy.
  1. You can’t truly be happy without making someone else happy. If you are seeking happiness, give it first. In The Wisdom Keys, Mike Murdock said, “what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you.” Those who make happiness happen for others will have happiness made happen for them.

want happiness

  1. Happiness is inside you, not outside. Those who seek happiness outside of their core being will never be fully satisfied. Most often than not, what you look for on the outside of you is already in the inside of you. Happiness is not an exception to this.
  1. If you are not happy, don’t blame anybody. Take full responsibility for your (un)happiness. If you don’t take the responsibility for your personal happiness, no one will.
  1. It is not bad to want personal happiness, but any attempt to rub other people of their own happiness in order to fuel yours will ultimately rob you of true happiness. So rather than concentrate on seeking happiness for yourself alone, you should also make room in your life to be a part of the happiness of other people. Someone once said, “It makes me happy to make other people happy.”
  1. If you sow happiness as a seed into the life of another person, it will ultimately come back to you as a fruit. An infallible law of nature states, “We reap what we sow.” If you are not reaping happiness where you are, you may have to cross-check the seed you have been sowing all along. Another definition of happiness is loving other people and being loved.
  1. You can hardly make other people happy if you are not happy yourself. To love others you have to first love yourself. Those who don’t love themselves are incapable of loving others. Even Jesus Christ said “love your neighbour as yourself”. This command to love others is premised on the natural assumption that you love yourself. It is not too late to start if you haven’t started already.
  1. Ultimately happiness is a choice. You can chose whether or not to be happy. It is not about what I say or what happens around you. It is largely up to you. So the next time you blame someone for your unhappiness, you know you blame the wrong person.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts in the comment section.

 

© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

No One But You Can Make You Happy

Everyone wants to be happy but not everyone is looking in the right direction to find happiness. Whether or not one finds happiness is largely dependent on where one is looking.

The key to your happiness
Key to happiness

When it comes to finding personal happiness, if you are not looking within you, you are looking in the wrong direction. The truth remains that one cannot find long-lasting personal happiness outside of one’s self.

The good news is that you can find happiness in life irrespective of your social status and irrespective of your geographical location.

For instance, some years ago, a BBC report based on a ‘happiness survey’ emerged which stated that “A new study of more than 65 countries published in the UK’s New Scientist magazine suggests that the happiest people in the world live in Nigeria – and the least happy, in Romania.” 

Various reactions trailed the publication of the findings of the report. But then similar sentiment had a long time ago been expressed by the late Nigerian Afrobeat musican, Fela Anikulapo Kuti  when he described the experience of living in Nigeria as “suffering and smiling” in one of his hit songs. That was Fela’s way of saying that Nigerians remain happy people even in the midst of obvious hardship.

I was born in Nigeria and I still live here with my beautiful family. I know first-hand what it means to live here.

I am not so much abreast with the underpinning situations in Romania to merit being named in that report as the abode of the least happy people in the world. But if people who live in Nigeria could be named  amongst the happiest people in the world, despite the enormous economic and socio-political challenges we experience on a regular basis, it goes further to show that anyone can be happy wherever he may live.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

— Martha Washington

It has to be said that your real happiness does not reside in things or in objects, but in you. Any happiness derived from external sources such as money, sex, drugs, fame, position, achievement etc will only last for a while.  You don’t have to look too far around you to see examples that corroborate this assertion.

Finding Personal happiness

If you are looking for happiness, look inwards. If you fail to find real happiness within you, you may not be able to find it outside.  Real happiness comes from within, not from things, not from other people.

Having all the wealth in the world does not even guarantee happiness. The richest people on earth are not necessarily the happiest people; neither are the poorest the unhappiest. It all boils down to one’s inner ‘possessions’, core attitude, disposition to, and, focus in life.

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.”

Zig Ziglar

The seed of happiness is already in you. Nurture it; let it grow and it will produce its fruit. This is particularly true if you are a spirit-filled Christian.

Spirit-filled Christians have the seed of happiness already planted on their inside. In the book of Galatians, ‘joy’ is listed as one of the nine fruit of the Spirit.

As Christians we already have joy on our inside, even though not all of us demonstrate it as we should. In the words of Apostle Paul, “the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” This is the meaning of real happiness.

You may not know it, but when you gave your life to Jesus, all the fruit of the Spirit were planted inside you in seed form. Through the Spirit you can experience joy and peace in every circumstance, no matter how difficult or painful.

– Joyce Meyer

Just like everyone else, I know you are looking for happiness in life. But the question is “where have you been looking?”

Often times you probably make the mistake of looking up to other people to make you happy. When they fail to meet the expectation, you become very unhappy, resentful and even suffer mild depression.

But should that be the case? Should you leave a part of your destiny – the decision for your own happiness – in the hands of other people?

Interest in Happiness

My friend, you should not leave your happiness in the hands of other people. Therefore, my simple advice is that if no one puts a smile on your face, do it yourself.  If no one makes you happy, do it yourself.

Those who wait for others to make them happy may never be eventually.

Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone that power over your life  Mandy Hale

Where is the Key to Your Happiness?

The key to your happiness is in your hand. Yes, you heard me right! It’s in your hand! If you allow other people to determine whether or not you are happy, it means you have turned the control of your life over to them.

Someone once advised, “Don’t put the key to your happiness into some else’s pocket.” No one can truly control you if he can’t control your happiness.

What makes you think everyone would cooperate to make you happy, anyway? Don’t you know that people are more interested in their own happiness than they are in yours? Don’t you realize also that you will be left miserable if you hang your entire hope of happiness on earth on other people?

Truth be told, there are more people on earth who are looking for other people to make them happy than people who are looking for other people to make happy. Chances are that every day of the week, the people you come across belong to the former category.

Does that mean that you will go through the whole week wearing a long face, because no one made you happy? I hope not!

Next to come: 11 HARD LESSONS FOR PERSONAL HAPPINESS YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

YOU NEED TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, THIS IS WHY

YOU NEED TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, THIS IS WHY

By Victor Uyanwanne

 

Asking The Right Questions

This post is about asking questions. So why don’t I begin by asking you these questions? All right? Thank you!

“Are you asking questions as you should?” Secondly, “Are you asking the right questions?” Furthermore, “Are you asking the right people?” Are you satisfied with status quo? Don’t you wish for a positive change?

Somebody somewhere has the right answer to the question you might have on your mind. Just ask! I believe that if you ask the right kinds of questions, you will get the right kinds of answers provided you ask the right kinds of people.

I may probably not know how you feel about asking questions. But if you are like me, asking the right questions at the right time should not be considered an out-of-place thing.

Excuse Me Please! Cure Your ignorance, Ask Questions

As someone rightly observed, “questions are one of the most powerful methods for gaining real insight and understanding…” 

The questions you ask reveal what matters to you. The questions you don’t ask which you are supposed to ask also speak volumes about you.

A notable French historian and philosopher, Voltaire, once said “judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” Therefore my candid suggestion is that if you don’t want to wallow in ignorance, please imbibe the good habit of asking relevant questions.

Ignorance is temporary affliction
Cure for ignorance

Some people desire answers but somehow loathe asking questions. You should know better! Sincerely speaking I learn by questions, so I asked a lot of them as appropriate. That’s me!

I am not saying that I have fully arrived on the habit of asking perfect questions and getting perfect answers. But my experiences so far have shown me that the knowledge and insights gained in the process of asking needful questions have placed me on a veritable pedestal I could not have otherwise attained if I didn’t ask relevant questions at the right times.

When it comes to asking questions, there is always room for improvement!

There is only one way to get started on the path of asking questions. Begin now!

Well, I concede that it may not always be smooth sailing when it comes to asking questions; some people may feel slightly inconvenienced by your perceived probing questions. But thankfully, I know (and many people will get to understand too) that you ask questions in order to learn, not to cause mischief or be unnecessarily intrusive.

Quite frankly, when you ask questions, it should be that you are genuinely interested in knowing more about the object of the question, or for some other unprejudiced or beneficial reasons. So if you are not disposed to asking needful questions, you are seriously missing out on the derivable benefits of doing so.

It Helps To Ask Questions, I am a Witness!

Looking back in the chequered history of my life, I can recall instances where I have missed a few things (including opportunities) because I failed to ask relevant questions at those points in time. I like to think that you can identify with that too! Right?

Asking questions
Are you asking the right questions?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are a lot of things about you and around you that will change if you will ask the right questions. Just muster up a little courage and begin!

If you ever feel the need to know more, achieve more, learn more, and to improve on the status quo, then asking questions is an appropriate habit you should well imbibe.

Let me make this sweeping statement: It is not in your best interest to stop asking questions when circumstances actually prove it is right for you to ask. I mean you should not stop asking questions altogether simply because of the negative feed backs that may sometimes stem from them. Rather you should learn better ways of doing the asking.

The issue really should not be whether you should be asking questions or not; but rather it should be whether you are asking the right questions. When it comes to asking questions, there is always room for improvement!

Expand Your Frontiers, Ask Questions

If you ever feel the need to know more, achieve more, learn more, and to improve on the status quo, then asking questions is an appropriate habit you should well imbibe.

Questions help your imagination and hence your creativity. I make bold to say that it is not possible to expand the frontiers of your knowledge base or improve the standard of the lives you live if you don’t ask the right questions as the need arises!

The essence of asking questions is to get answers. Questions give birth to answers and answers may in turn give rise to more questions and then more answers.

When it comes to asking questions, it doesn’t matter your age or status or position in life; whether as a student, a professional, a parent, a child, a politician, a sportsman, an artisan, a blogger, etc, everyone, whoever, wants to be anything worthwhile should be able to ask relevant questions as the need arises.

My dear friend, the questions you ask tell a lot about you! Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”

In my own limited experiences I have known that asking questions have helped me know better, achieve more, behave better, live healthier, live happier and hopefully live wealthier.

One of Forbes once listed richest persons in the world, the CEO of Google from 2001 to 2011, Eric Schmidt,  was once quoted as saying, (speaking about Google) “We run this company on questions, not [on] answers.”

I think the sublime wisdom in the quoted Schmidt’s statement is pretty clear. But someone may ask, “Are questions now considered more important than answers”?

Let’s say it depends on individual perception, so to that effect I could leave that for you to decide. On the other hand, I could refer you to the quote of Voltaire earlier cited for further insight: “judge a man by his questions rather than his answers”.

You Want Knowledge? Apply ASK!

I came across a very short acronym that lends voice to the point being made here:
ASK >> Always Seek Knowledge.

Seek knowledge
Always Seek Knowledge Acronym

The essence of asking questions is to get answers. Questions give birth to answers and answers may in turn give rise to more questions and then more answers.

It is this cycle of questions and answers, answers and more questions and then more answers that helps to expand the frontiers of your knowledge base that in turn enhances the quality of the life you live.

We are where we are today in development because some people dared to ask relevant questions at appropriate times in history.

For further advancement in life to be attained, status quo must be positively challenged. Questions provide the veritable media for doing that. So Always Seek Knowledge: ASK questions.

Asking Questions Will Help You In These Areas

At this juncture, you will probably agree with me that it is very beneficial to ask relevant questions when you feel the need to do so. In my own limited experiences I have known that asking questions have helped me know better, achieve more, behave better, live healthier, live happier and hopefully live wealthier.

Here are 16 areas questions can help you too:

1. Clarify your thoughts – and those of others too.
2. Elicit interest from your audience – don’t you know a few people who won’t talk to you until you ask them questions? Questions break the ice!
3. Demonstrate your interest in other people/things – who/what you ask questions about reveals whom/what you are interested in.
4. Clear / reduce your doubts – you can sometimes deal with your suspicions by asking the right questions.

Asking the right questions promotes communication and good communication builds trust

5. Improve your knowledge – naturally, questions can be used in the quest for knowledge. What you don’t know that you should have known is probably what you haven’t asked about.
6. Enhance your understanding – if you don’t understand something, ask questions until you grasp it well enough.

Six most commonly asked questions
Concept image of the six most common questions and answers on a signpost.

7. Enhance your communication with people – communication is not complete until there is an understanding/feedback. Asking relevant questions helps will help you to achieve this.
8. Enhance trust – asking the right questions promotes communication and good communication builds trust.

Asking the right questions helps you separate relevant information from irrelevant ones.

9. Help you to solidify relationships – as trust level increases through the good answers you get to your questions, the cord of good relationship toughens.
10. Sift information – asking the right questions helps you separate relevant information from irrelevant ones.
11. Promote better decision making – information clarified via asking relevant questions do promote better decision making.
12. Save time and other resources due to better decisions being made; this happens in the long run mostly.

“He who asks questions never misses his way” so says an African proverb.

13. Removes/reduces prejudices – if you ask the right questions and you get the right answers, you will soon get to discover that there is no need to hang on to some previously held misconceptions about things and especially about people.
14. Promote personal confidence – believe it or not, your ability to ask the right questions is a kind of pointer to your level of confidence. Confident people ask questions.
15. Clarify your direction – “He who asks questions never misses his way” so says an African proverb. If you don’t know where you are going, ask questions.
16. Enhance your effectiveness – knowing what to do and achieving results thereon sometimes is a function of the questions you have asked.

Your comments are always welcome.

 

 

 

©Copy Right 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

THERE IS ROOM FOR MORE, THIS IS WHY!

There is room for more, this is why!
By Victor Uyanwanne

There is always room for more
Seek it and you will find it
The room of improvement is never filled

There is always room for more
Your life can be happier
You can live healthier
Trust me, you can be wealthier too

Quotation-Genise-M-Patterson-funny-inspiration-improvement-Meetville-Quotes-84185

Be you, but be the best you
Check where you stand, you can stand taller
Check where you have been in life, you can go further
Evaluate your achievement, you can achieve more

improvement

Yes you know much, but there is much you don’t know
You have learned a lot, but then there is still much to learn
Don’t close your mind, so you don’t imprison yourself
Live free, but not without limits

Smile, it doesn’t hurt anyone
Forgive more than you want to be forgiven
Love better than you are doing now
Give more than you have ever done before

Improve your life
There is always room for more…….

Copyright | Victor Uyanwanne

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER
By Victor Uyanwanne

First and foremost, let me be frank with you. As the title clearly portrays, this article is not about me. But I had to begin with a short narrative of a personal history to be able to put things in the best perspective. Kindly indulge me as you read on.

My mother, Victoria Ofunim Uyanwanne Bakwunye (nee Okwuedei) went home recently to be with the Lord at a very ripe age estimated at 90 years. Needless to say, it was our greatest honour and privilege as her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to gather from far and wide in June 2015 in our home state of Delta, Nigeria, to give her a very befitting burial. Before her death on April 18, 2015, she had been all my siblings and I had since our father passed on twenty one years ago at an equally ripe age.

Despite her being advanced in age, I am glad that she didn’t die until her wish came through.

As at the time our father, Uyanwanne Bakwunye, passed away in the morning of June 13, 1994, I had hardly fully understood the meaning of death because I was probably too naive – an innocent teenager I was – to have fully comprehended the full import of death as it were. It was shortly later in life after his death that I came to the full realisation that I would never see my dad again in this life. Poor me!

I missed my dad (especially his love and friendship) since his passing on. But I am not complaining; all has been well with me and I have many reasons to be very grateful to God for everything. Thanks to my recently departed mum and my older siblings who ensured that I was well taken care of from then on.

I was the baby of the house. My parents gave birth to me when they were already advanced in age. This realisation often reminds me of something similar from the story of Joseph in the Bible. It was recorded of him in the book of Genesis (37:3) that “Joseph was a son born to [Jacob] in his old age.” I guess I could easily identify with that depiction! (Incidentally, for many reasons other than this, Joseph has become my favourite Bible character).

As a child, I wasn’t so sure of the number of years between my parents’ ages but one thing was very clear to me then: my dad was much older than my mum. I grew up knowing both of them as “Baba” and “Mama”. In those days in the Nigerian environment (a small town known as Owerre Olubor in the present Delta State) where I was born, (and I believe in many other parts of the world), that was how children called their parents – especially if they were advanced in age as mine were.

We didn’t live in any remarkable luxury, but we were happy and contented

Being the fifth and the last child of my parents, I would say things were relatively easier for me than it was for my older siblings. While growing up, I was never under any kind of pressure. I was much loved by my parents and my siblings and I knew it. They protected me and shielded me from any ‘bad weather’.

They met my needs to the best of their abilities. They shouldered most my responsibilities, leaving me with lots of time to play and to read my books. (To be sincere, I played more that I read then. Smiles! Let’s leave that topic for another day!)

Suffice to say, to a very large extent, I could aver that I was the object of the love of my parents as well as those of my siblings who were much older than I was. We didn’t live in any remarkable luxury, but we were happy and contented. I couldn’t have asked for a better family than mine, as I was convinced that the best family to be born into was this one I was born into.

I hardly wanted people to know I was the last child of my parents. But somehow, some people were always able to figure that out.

My family members had some pet names for me. For instance, my mother called me “Ugochukwu” (meaning God’s honour), while my eldest sister Caroline Onumuzor fondly called me ‘Lastborn.” That’s what she and some other people from my home town still call me till date!

To be honest, I didn’t mind them calling me “Lastborn” anywhere, provided no ‘outsider’ was around to hear them call me that. Smiles! To me the reason was simple: most people thought that all “lastborns” were spoilt brats. And that’s not a compliment! So as much as possible, I hardly wanted people to know I was the last child of my parents. But somehow, some people were always able to figure that out.

Back then, most people knew me as “Okem” for short (which simply means “my bequest” or “my gift”; the name in its fullest form being “Okechukwuyem”, meaning “God’s bequest/gift to me”). I later became known as “Victor” before the age of six years when my mum took me for infant baptism in her church, St. Barnabas Anglican Owerre Olubor, Delta State. She remained a member of this church until her glorious exit from the earth earlier this year.

Thanks to mama, she was the light we saw that pointed us the way to Christ!

About sixteen years after I underwent the said infant baptism, at which time I had become an undergraduate, I had to undergo what in Pentecostal cycles is referred to as “baptism by immersion” ; that was after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Saviour. This didn’t require a change of name, but a change of heart. Thanks to mama, she was the light we saw that pointed us the way to Christ!

Now fast forward to the present year, 2015. Baba and mama’s lastborn has become a man. I am now a full grown adult, married to a beautiful lady from heaven and blessed with two wonderful boys (Best and Newman) as children.

Needless to say, I have not only increased in stature, I have also increased in wisdom in all ramifications. So when in the morning of Saturday April 18, 2015 I was informed via a telephone conversation with my eldest sister, Onumuzor, that my mum had “just passed on to be with the Lord”, I was already well abreast with the real meaning of death, the death of an aged parent.

To be honest, I had always been scared of losing my mum.

I heaved a deep sigh…. Mama is gone? Instantly, emotions welled up like a flowing river from within me and my eyes were filled with tears as I managed to end the telephone call. I found myself sobbing my eyes wet, with a nagging thought in my heart like “the day I feared most had finally come: mama was no more.”

To be honest, I had always been scared of losing my mum. I mean I knew she would die someday, but I didn’t expect it would be that very day. I also knew mama was well advanced in age, yet I had the secret wish that she would stay on earth a bit longer. After all, despite her old age, she was still relatively strong in her body and she always had the love and care she needed from her children and grandchildren. Her health had also remained relatively stable until she suddenly had a relapse two weeks before her demise.

Mama came, she saw and she conquered! That’s the feeling all of us her children share.

There I was standing in my sitting room on that fateful Saturday morning when the news of her death filtered into my ear drums. At first, I had tried not to cry aloud but I couldn’t. I then walked from the sitting room towards the kitchen to tell my wife, Jennifer, about the sad news I just received. I sobbed for a while in her warm embrace as she tried to console me. I then regained my composure, but not fast enough as not to allow my first son notice that everything didn’t seem well with his daddy.

“Mummy, why is daddy crying,” he asked, “did he fall down?”

“No Best, he didn’t fall down. Don’t worry, he will be fine,” my wife tried to explain to the boy.

I wouldn’t blame him; he had never seen me cry since he was born three years ago. Besides, he is only a child and would not even understand the full meaning of death. How would we have explained to him that his paternal grandmother was no more? The last time mama saw him, she was very fond of him; they bonded well together.

I was still a bachelor when mama told me she would be ready to go ‘home’ only when I had given her a grandchild.

I remember then, Mama heart’s was really glad that she had seen a grandson from her last born child – Me! Some years back, I was still a bachelor when mama told me she would be ready to go ‘home’ only when I had given her a grandchild. Over the years that followed, I never forgot those words!

Despite her being advanced in age, I am glad that she didn’t die until her wish came through. In fact, I would say she had more than her wish because she had two grandchildren through my wife and I – in addition to several others from my older siblings and their respective spouses. In all respect, she died a happy woman, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. Fulfilled!

I wept on hearing the news of mum’s passing. But moments later that same day, the negative emotions I felt about her passing began to wane and positive stimulations about her life and times began to well up from my spirit.

Mama came, she saw and she conquered! That’s the feeling all of us her children share. I for one, her exit made me cry. But at the same time, I felt relieved when I began to put things in the proper perspective. I am convinced that she had gone to be with the Lord, because till her death, she maintained an unwavering faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, as her Lord and Saviour. It was this realisation that gave my siblings and I the greatest consolation of heart we needed.

I know I would not be able to describe all things my mother represented, but I know I wrote from my heart.

As I very well recall, naturally, I wept on hearing the news of mum’s passing. But moments later that same day, the negative emotions I felt about her passing began to wane and positive stimulations about her life and times began to well up from my spirit. Suddenly, I thought about her strict love, fearlessness, self-discipline, self-control, contentment, patience, courage, independent mindedness, industry, smiling face, generosity, strong faith in God, fidelity, sense of loyalty and many other sublime qualities too numerous to mention in this space.

In response to the positive thoughts overflow, I pulled by tablet device and began to type as fast as I could and as the words flowed. In the end I came up with these verses of poetic expression below that informed that title of this discourse. I know I would not be able to describe all things my mother represented, but I know I wrote from my heart.

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

Mama, today you are gone from our midst
But you are not gone from our hearts
Cos we will always remember you
Though you are no more here
Your legacies remain alive with us
You were a mother like no other
You were unique in your own ways.

You lived your life the best way you could

You lived your life the best way you could
You ran the race God set before you
Now you have gone the way of all men
We are sad that you are gone,
But we will always celebrate you.

You found the gospel light at a tender age
And you followed it till you breathe your last
You did not only find the way of Christ
You pointed it out for us your children to follow
You told us you knew no other way, but the way of Christ.

You were a mother like no other

You told us to follow Jesus Christ
Till our days on earth are gone
Now that you are no more here
God will help us to follow through
You taught us how to give the tithe to God
Since the time we were kids
Now that we are grown men and women
We have not forgotten this lesson of yours.

You were a mother like no other
You proved that love and discipline can go together
You never spared the rod to spoil the child
You never feared any man, except God
You showed courage even in danger
You stood for what you believed in
Even when no one else stood with you

You are a shining example of faithfulness, loyalty and discipline

You never went back on your words
You always did what you promised
Your face always carried a cheerful smile
That radiated to those around you
The daughters of men testify of your generosity
Your love was strict, but it was also true
We are glad we had the chance to know this.

You are a shining example of faithfulness, loyalty and discipline
You stayed faithful to God until your last breath
You were loyal to our father even in death
And you disciplined us in love unto maturity
You may be gone from our eyes
But you will never be gone from our hearts.
Adieu Mama, a woman of faith and focus.

 

Copyright| Victor Uyanwanne

THERE IS ROOM FOR MORE

There is room for more
By Victor Uyanwanne

There is always room for more
Seek it and you will find it
The room of improvement is never filled

There is always room for more
Your life can be happier
You can live healthier
Trust me, you can be wealthier too

Be you, but be the best you
Check where you stand, you can stand taller
Check where you have been in life, you can go further
Evaluate your achievement, you can achieve more

Yes you know much, but there is much you don’t know
You have learned a lot, but then there is still much to learn
Don’t close your mind, so you don’t imprison yourself
Live free, but not without limits

Smile, it doesn’t hurt anyone
Forgive more than you want to be forgiven
Love better than you are doing now
Give more than you have ever done before

Improve your life
There is always room for more…….

THE BEST FAMILY TO BE BORN INTO

THE BEST FAMILY TO BE BORN INTO

What family would you love to have been born into? Given a second chance would you be okay to still be born into your current family?

Contrary to what you may think, the best family to be born into is the very one you were born into – irrespective of its social status. It is the best because it was divinely arranged, whether you like it or not.

To question being born into the family you were born into is to question God.

BE KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW

BE KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW
By Victor Uyanwanne

Some people think they don’t know so much about anything to be able to teach it to other people. But that’s probably not true. I believe there is always something you know that someone else close-by or afar off may not know, which he may need to know in order to lead a better, healthier and happier life.

Don’t wait until you become an expert before you can begin to share what you know with other people who may need your knowledge. What we often don’t realise, is that no matter how little we know, there is always someone we know much better than who will be interested in what we know. So sharing your so-called ‘little’ knowledge will no doubt be of help to such people.

Nobody will know much if everybody waited to become certified experts before they began to share what they knew . It will not be kind to withhold useful information that someone might need simply because you think you are not an expert yet. So I am of the opinion that sharing what you know with people that need it will not be a bad idea. You will be surprised how much it will improve the quality of lives of people around you.

If we relate with the right kind of people, we will get the right kind of information at relatively no cost.

Sharing what you know can enable people make better decisions that will improve their lives. As I began to think about writing this article, I mentioned to a colleague in the office that during the break hour I would go see an ophthalmologist whose eye clinic was on retainership with our company. The place is located about 3 kilometres away from our upscale office location.

“Why go all that distance,” asked the colleague, “when there is a good one right on our street here”?

“Really? I didn’t I know that!” I enthused. Following my colleague’s suggestion, I simply walked only about 100 meters to get to the eye-clinic he mentioned. As it turned out, and to my pleasant surprise, I got an excellent service from there. That little information volunteered by my colleague saved me the stress of having to drive down a farther distance along a vehicular traffic prone area on that hot afternoon.

When I returned to my desk in the office, I thanked my colleague for the information and also quipped, “The quality of decision one makes depends on the quality of information available to one.” Without wasting time my colleague replied me, “The quality of information one gets depends on the quality of questions one asks”. A third colleague overheard our discussion and also added his voice, “Good quality information costs money, so you have to pay for this one….” We all shared a good laugh over all this.

Besides helping you in clarifying or improving your own knowledge, sharing your knowledge and experiences in life can make life better for someone else, near or afar off.

Well, to be honest, it is true that getting good quality information might cost money, but not necessarily all the time. If we relate with the right kind of people, we will get the right kind of information at relatively no cost. That’s the reason it will be appropriate to commit to sharing what you know so that others can benefit from you.

I don’t know about you, but as for me, I enjoy sharing useful information with people that need it. However I must admit that it is not always as easy as it may seem, especially when I don’t get the kind of positive feedback as I might rightly expect. I don’t mean to scare you here, but I believe getting you reminded that you might be criticized for sharing what you know may help you handle the challenges whenever they begin to come.

What you know now that you refuse to share may be what someone needs to hear to open his eyes to a brighter world than he is right now.

I am sure your background, education, training and experiences in life have afforded you the opportunity of knowing some things that someone else around may not necessarily know. Besides helping you in clarifying or improving your own knowledge, sharing your knowledge and experiences in life can make life better for someone else, near or afar off. Sometimes, you may not be able to go all out to do that, but giving little tips here and there as the need arises could be of immense help to someone.

“How do I start?”, you may ask. Here are a few suggestions to assist you:

• Be willing to be a teacher – you don’t have to be in a classroom setting to do that. Anywhere you find yourself where someone lacks a particular kind of useful knowledge you possess is a good point to begin. People can do things better if they have better tips made available to them. What you know now that you refuse to share may be what someone needs to hear to open his eyes to a brighter world than he is right now.

• Answer useful questions – when someone asks you to explain a concept you know or give information that may be of help to them, be kind and humble enough to do it. A local proverb in Nigeria says that “He who asks questions will never miss his way.” So if someone is humble enough to seek your knowledge by asking you appropriate questions, please be kind enough to answer them.

• Be ready to guide people – there are many people who want to know how you got where you are right now, or how you achieved what you have achieved. If such people want to be like you, please show them the way. “We see farther when we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us.” More so sharing what you know does not decrease your knowledge stock. Isn’t that good pretty obvious?

Use any other strategy that works for you in sharing what you know. It is a world of no limits. Just don’t hoard your knowledge.

• Document your useful experiences in life. Don’t carry your wealth of experience to the great beyond just like that. Write a useful book so others can read about it. Long after you are gone, you will still be speaking via your books.
• Start a blog. Write about what you know. Share your experiences, unique or not so unique, it matters less. Your blog will reach people even in other climes that you might never meet face to face.

Create appropriate videos and post them on youtube for others to see. A number of times, I found some “how to…” videos on youtube to be very helpful. I remain grateful to all those who posted such knowledge sharing videos I have had course to access at one time or another.

Use other social media like Facebook, twitter etc to reach out to people in your cycle and beyond. Share useful tips there. Write useful articles and post them. A number of times, some people have told me that my posts on my Facebook page really helped, inspired or encouraged them. I can say the same thing about what some people posted on their facebook walls that I accessed.

Start a column in a local newspaper of your choice. Have you not noticed that people still read the traditional newspaper despite the internet revolution? Sharing what you know through this medium will sure reach people.

Organize seminar or workshop if you can. This may cost you a bit, but the impact will surprise you.

• If necessary, prepare relevant audio CDs and distribute them. This way, people can gain knowledge listening to you.

Do podcasting too if you can. Someone will be interested.

Use any other strategy that works for you in sharing what you know. It is a world of no limits. Just don’t hoard your knowledge.

ON TOP OF MY GAME

ON TOP OF MY GAME
By Victor Uyanwanne

I have to be on top of my game
You can call me by my name
It doesn’t mean I am proud
You know I just have to keep aflame
Like you, I prefer to have fortune and fame
Than live in abject penury and shame

Please don’t leave your game to chance
In every show, put in your best dance

Yes, I want to lead the good pack
And I don’t want to live in a shack
Please don’t blame me at all
It is neither yours, nor my fault
You know Life is very difficult
Not by chance but by default

Please don’t leave your game to chance
In every show, put in your best dance
Always be the best you can be
Live your life to the very full
But try not to be so boastful
And whatever you are, be grateful

Be determined to have your needs met
But never undermine the needs of others

You should mean life like business
That doesn’t mean you should play ruthless
Say what you mean and mean what you say
You know the going is already getting rough
To keep going, you got to really get tough
Be thorough, but no unnecessary show off

Spread out your tentacles, widen your dragnet
Be determined to have your needs met
But never undermine the needs of others
Always put in your very best labour
Do it with all your heart and fervor
Hopefully, you will be met with uncommon favour.

 

©Copyright 2015│Victor Uyanwanne

USE YOUR IMAGINATION

USE YOUR IMAGINATION
By Victor Uyanwanne

Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com
Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com

Use your imagination
It is the world of no limitation
When you get your thoughts limited
You get yourself really cheated.

Use your imagination
It’s a free world of no nation
You don’t need a visa to get in
Neither a permit to work therein.

 
 
 

LOGIC will get you from A to B. IMAGINATION will take you EVERYWHERE – Albert Einstein

Use your imagination
Subject all negatives to incineration
In your mind begin to form the picture
Of your earnestly desired future.

Use your imagination
Let it be your decision
To think better of yourself
Than an old book on a shelf.

Live out of your life imagination, not your history – Steve Covey

Use your imagination
To the point of combustion
So you can produce the energy
That gives you life’s synergy.

Use your imagination
Clear out all the confusion
Reach for the happiness of life
Eliminate all manner of strife.

Use your imagination
Don’t be under compulsion
Learn to use it willingly
You’ll get the benefits steadily.

…If we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless –Jamie Paolinetti

Use your imagination
Change your life beyond comprehension
It doesn’t happen overnight
But it is the beginning of the good fight.

Use your imagination
See yourself, in life, change position
You know you can hardly feature
In the future you don’t picture.

The man who has no imagination has no wings – Mohammed Ali

Use your imagination
You may experience some interruption
But don’t give up
Do your best to stay up.

Use your imagination
Bring yourself out of seclusion
Experience the world called ‘wonderful’
And begin to live life to the full.

Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com

 

 

©Copyright 2015│Victor Uyanwanne

DAD, YOU CAN’T DISOWN YOUR SON; SON NEITHER CAN YOU!

DAD, YOU CAN’T DISOWN YOUR SON; SON NEITHER CAN YOU!

By Victor Uyanwanne

Some parents often use unkind words on their children, without caring much about the negative effects such words have on them. Researches have shown that yelling at children or speaking harshly to them negatively affects their self-esteem.

Apart from speaking unkind words and yelling at their children, some parents go as far issuing unnecessary threats too. For example, imagine a dad who lashed at his son in a very strong voice, “….I will disown you.”

That’s really unfair to the child! Forget whether the dad meant it or not, that’s not the issue here now. We know that many angry parents who threaten to disown their children never get to do so. But why use such a threat?

 Truth be told, when a parent threatens to disown a child over some irregular behaviour, or for whatever reason, what comes to the fore more is the lack of a good sense of responsibility on the part of the parent than the foolishness of the child.

Apart from the negative psychological effects such words have on the child, such threats also cast some doubts on the level of maturity of the man as a father. I say this because a mature, patient and responsible parent should know better ways to handle his child’s misdeeds than to issue a threat to disown him or her over such behaviour.

An average teenager does not like to be threatened; parents ought to know better.

Truth be told, when a parent threatens to disown a child over some irregular behaviour, or for whatever reason, what comes to the fore more is the lack of a good sense of responsibility on the part of the parent than the foolishness of the child. Why would a parent contemplate disowning his own biological child, under any circumstance? Bring up any reason and I will tell you that it is not acceptable.

 Whether your dad lives up to your expectation or not, he is still your dad. You don’t even have the right to disrespect him, let alone repudiate his fatherhood.

Let me be frank with you, it is a mark of parental irresponsibility for a parent to disown his child over some unruly behaviour of the child. Parents should take full responsibility for a child’s behaviour. One way or another, parents contribute to whatever behaviour their children put up in life.

To the father, whether it appears so to you or not, your kid is yours forever; you are his dad and he is your son. Whether he behaves well or not, you belong to him and he belongs to you. I mean, he didn’t ask to be brought into the world; it was your choice and your decision. So as long as those words are true, you could not really disown him.

To the child, your dad is yours forever. It doesn’t matter that you were not consulted before he and your mum took the decision to birth you into the world. Do you realise at all that your dad was also not consulted before his own parents gave birth to him? So show some understanding with your dad, please. Whether your dad lives up to your expectation or not, he is still your dad. You don’t even have the right to disrespect him, let alone repudiate his fatherhood.

 It should go without saying that no matter happens, a father should not disown his own biological child, and neither should a child disown his dad.

Several years ago, I watched on TV as ace Nigerian comedian, Tariah Basorge Jnr, told the joke of two kinds of dads who threatened their boys that they would be disowned if they continued with some certain unacceptable behaviour. I can’t recap the story with the exact words he used, but the joke sounded something like this:

The first Dad, wealthy and elitist by all means, threatened his son, “James, if you continue with this type of behaviour, I will disown you.”

James, realizing he had done wrong, replies in an apologetic tone, “Dad, I am sorry. Please don’t disown me. I promise to behave better going forward.”

Second Dad, poor and struggling to earn a living, said to his own son, “John, if you continue with this type of behaviour, I will disown you.”

John, feeling his father’s threat was inconsequential responded, “Disown me? Of what use is it being your son anyway? In fact, I have ‘defathered’ you already. When, my teacher asked us to invite our parents to the school the other day for PTA meeting, did I invite you?”

No parent has any sufficiently justifiable basis to use the words, “I disown you” on his child.

Even though the story was meant to be a joke, the implication is very serious. It is really sad how a dad and a son’s relationship degenerated to the extent like that between John and his dad. The two scenarios paint different pictures worthy of further consideration.

First, James’s response may be considered good enough whereas his father’s threat was as inappropriate as that of John’s father. But John’s response is condemnable by all means. That’s irresponsibility on his part!

All the same, it should go without saying that no matter happens, a father should not disown his own biological child, and neither should a child disown his dad. While I am not trying to say that parents should condone unruly behaviour of their children, it must be stated that parents should not use some kind of negative words on their kids.

When it comes to addressing the misdeeds of a child, a parent should never use “I disown you” on the child. Similarly, when a child comes face to face with the shortcomings of his parent, he should never use “I disown you” on the old block. No parent has a sufficiently justifiable basis to use such words. And no child should say that to any of his parents either.

 

 

©Copyright 2015 – Victor Uyanwanne

WRITE IT DOWN

WRITE IT DOWN
By Victor Uyanwanne

Pen & Paper

 

You have an idea, write it down.
When you write down your idea, it makes it clearer.
As your ideas become clearer, you can make reference to them.
When you refer to them you can improve on them.
Your improved idea can motivate you.
As they motivate you, go ahead and execute them.

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