Have You Read My About Page Before?

Victor Uyanwanne
Victors’ Corner

Have you ever checked out my About page? I thought I should ask you that question and then offer you a veritable opportunity to do it if you haven’t already done so. But even if you have read it before, you still have something to gain by reading it again.

For most blogs, the about page is usually one of the most frequently checked-out pages. This blog is not an exception to that behavioural pattern.

Over the past several months that I have been writing on this blog, there have been concrete evidence that my about page has been frequently visited, read, liked or commented on. This is your chance to read it (again).

My About Page

My name is Victor Uyanwanne. I live in Lagos, Nigeria with my wife and two kids.

You are warmly welcome to my blog, Victors’ Corner – a blog dedicated to providing wholesome inspiration for the family, life, and living – from a Christian worldview.

The name, Victors’ Corner, has a little history behind it. But here it suffices to say that it serves as a reminder that YOU ARE A VICTOR.

Yes, you are a victor, not a victim! So am I, and every one of us here. Why did I say that? Because God has never made a failure! You are definitely not a failure! Take that from me.

Here on this blog, you will find items on Inspiration, Christian living, lively Poems, Family, blogging matters and any other thing that tickles my fancy packaged to enrich your life, with a view to inspiring you to living like a victor that you are.

Let us enjoy the victorious journey together. Feel free to explore the blog as you like. I am sure you will find something beneficial to you, your friends and family.

We are VICTORS together in this CORNER. Let’s continue to inspire each other unto greater things. Your feedback is important to me, so leave me a comment or two as you read my thoughts.

You don’t have to agree with me if my views on this blog differ from yours. But if you ever disagree with me, let me know too. We have a lot to learn from each other.

On the other hand, if you like any of my posts, let me know by hitting the like button below every post. I am sure your friends will like it too, so don’t forget to share it with them.

Do have a rewarding experience here on  Victors’ Corner!

Much love!

Victor.

Uyanwanne Victor
Victor Uyanwanne

Your comments and suggestion are welcome.

 

This post was inspired by Tikeetha’s Welcome to my world

From Me To You: Thank You For Being There.

Thank you, Victor Uyanwanne

As we round off the year 2016, I wish to use this opportunity to appreciate every one of you for being there for me throughout the year. Without you, this blog would not have been a success so far in any way.

That you spend your valuable time to read my posts and the feedbacks you have given me till now have greatly encouraged me to keep on writing. So from the deepest enclave of my heart, I want to express my profound appreciations to:

  • Every one of you that visited the blog and read any of my posts.

Your time here means a lot to me. Now I know that I am not writing for myself alone. Thank you for visiting and reading. I am glad that the experience has been rewarding to you as some of you were kind enough to let me know.

  • Every one of you that showed you appreciated my articles by hitting that delightful button ‘Like.’

You put smiles on my face each time you clicked the ‘like’ button at the end of my posts. I would not know you liked my written thoughts without this recorded kind gesture.

You can only imagine how grateful I am to have you show that you liked any of my posts through that sublime button. Please keep the flag flying.

  • Every one of you that went the extra mile of commenting on my posts.

Not only did you read my thoughts, you also let me know yours through your comments in my posts. It doesn’t matter whether you agreed with my opinions or not, your comments are always welcome. I made sure I read all of them.

To me, your comments are like a goldmine; there are always some treasures to pick from there. In the coming year, I will be sharing some of the things I gained from reading your comments on my posts.

Victor Uyanwanne's Facebook book followers in 2016

  • Every one of you that lent your voices to my posts by reblogging them on your sites or sharing them through any of your social media handles.

Considering the huge volume of posts churned out by bloggers on daily basis, it is privilege enough for me that you read my posts. That you went the extra mile to sharing them with your own followers or audiences, friends and families, was really fantastic. Thank you so much for the kind gesture.

  • Every one of you that follows the blog either through your WordPress accounts or through email subscriptions.

I greatly appreciate your interest in my posts and the awesome privilege you have given me to continuously share my thoughts with you. Thank you for the immense trust and loyalty reposed on me. The relationship has been mutually beneficial, I must say.

  • Every one of you that gave one suggestion or another that helped improved the readers’ experiences on this site.

I thank you all for sticking out your necks for me. I am not tired of taking your suggestions. So keep them coming. Smiles.

Thank You

  • Every one of you that I followed your blogs, read your posts, commented on your posts, liked your posts or shared your posts.

Thank you for being a source of encouragement, information, education, inspiration, and even entertainment. One way or another, your blog was a blessing in the outgoing year. I look forward to reading from you again in the coming year.

I appreciate you all very much for all your immense support. The outgoing year 2016 has been great and the coming one, 2017, promises to be even greater.

I will be here for you. Please be there for me, as we continue joyously on this journey of inspiring one another to higher heights.

  • Everyone else not mentioned in any of the above categories.

Thank you and thank you again.

Remain blessed as always.

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER
By Victor Uyanwanne

First and foremost, let me be frank with you. As the title clearly portrays, this article is not about me. But I had to begin with a short narrative of a personal history to be able to put things in the best perspective. Kindly indulge me as you read on.

My mother, Victoria Ofunim Uyanwanne Bakwunye (nee Okwuedei) went home recently to be with the Lord at a very ripe age estimated at 90 years. Needless to say, it was our greatest honour and privilege as her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to gather from far and wide in June 2015 in our home state of Delta, Nigeria, to give her a very befitting burial. Before her death on April 18, 2015, she had been all my siblings and I had since our father passed on twenty one years ago at an equally ripe age.

Despite her being advanced in age, I am glad that she didn’t die until her wish came through.

As at the time our father, Uyanwanne Bakwunye, passed away in the morning of June 13, 1994, I had hardly fully understood the meaning of death because I was probably too naive – an innocent teenager I was – to have fully comprehended the full import of death as it were. It was shortly later in life after his death that I came to the full realisation that I would never see my dad again in this life. Poor me!

I missed my dad (especially his love and friendship) since his passing on. But I am not complaining; all has been well with me and I have many reasons to be very grateful to God for everything. Thanks to my recently departed mum and my older siblings who ensured that I was well taken care of from then on.

I was the baby of the house. My parents gave birth to me when they were already advanced in age. This realisation often reminds me of something similar from the story of Joseph in the Bible. It was recorded of him in the book of Genesis (37:3) that “Joseph was a son born to [Jacob] in his old age.” I guess I could easily identify with that depiction! (Incidentally, for many reasons other than this, Joseph has become my favourite Bible character).

As a child, I wasn’t so sure of the number of years between my parents’ ages but one thing was very clear to me then: my dad was much older than my mum. I grew up knowing both of them as “Baba” and “Mama”. In those days in the Nigerian environment (a small town known as Owerre Olubor in the present Delta State) where I was born, (and I believe in many other parts of the world), that was how children called their parents – especially if they were advanced in age as mine were.

We didn’t live in any remarkable luxury, but we were happy and contented

Being the fifth and the last child of my parents, I would say things were relatively easier for me than it was for my older siblings. While growing up, I was never under any kind of pressure. I was much loved by my parents and my siblings and I knew it. They protected me and shielded me from any ‘bad weather’.

They met my needs to the best of their abilities. They shouldered most my responsibilities, leaving me with lots of time to play and to read my books. (To be sincere, I played more that I read then. Smiles! Let’s leave that topic for another day!)

Suffice to say, to a very large extent, I could aver that I was the object of the love of my parents as well as those of my siblings who were much older than I was. We didn’t live in any remarkable luxury, but we were happy and contented. I couldn’t have asked for a better family than mine, as I was convinced that the best family to be born into was this one I was born into.

I hardly wanted people to know I was the last child of my parents. But somehow, some people were always able to figure that out.

My family members had some pet names for me. For instance, my mother called me “Ugochukwu” (meaning God’s honour), while my eldest sister Caroline Onumuzor fondly called me ‘Lastborn.” That’s what she and some other people from my home town still call me till date!

To be honest, I didn’t mind them calling me “Lastborn” anywhere, provided no ‘outsider’ was around to hear them call me that. Smiles! To me the reason was simple: most people thought that all “lastborns” were spoilt brats. And that’s not a compliment! So as much as possible, I hardly wanted people to know I was the last child of my parents. But somehow, some people were always able to figure that out.

Back then, most people knew me as “Okem” for short (which simply means “my bequest” or “my gift”; the name in its fullest form being “Okechukwuyem”, meaning “God’s bequest/gift to me”). I later became known as “Victor” before the age of six years when my mum took me for infant baptism in her church, St. Barnabas Anglican Owerre Olubor, Delta State. She remained a member of this church until her glorious exit from the earth earlier this year.

Thanks to mama, she was the light we saw that pointed us the way to Christ!

About sixteen years after I underwent the said infant baptism, at which time I had become an undergraduate, I had to undergo what in Pentecostal cycles is referred to as “baptism by immersion” ; that was after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Saviour. This didn’t require a change of name, but a change of heart. Thanks to mama, she was the light we saw that pointed us the way to Christ!

Now fast forward to the present year, 2015. Baba and mama’s lastborn has become a man. I am now a full grown adult, married to a beautiful lady from heaven and blessed with two wonderful boys (Best and Newman) as children.

Needless to say, I have not only increased in stature, I have also increased in wisdom in all ramifications. So when in the morning of Saturday April 18, 2015 I was informed via a telephone conversation with my eldest sister, Onumuzor, that my mum had “just passed on to be with the Lord”, I was already well abreast with the real meaning of death, the death of an aged parent.

To be honest, I had always been scared of losing my mum.

I heaved a deep sigh…. Mama is gone? Instantly, emotions welled up like a flowing river from within me and my eyes were filled with tears as I managed to end the telephone call. I found myself sobbing my eyes wet, with a nagging thought in my heart like “the day I feared most had finally come: mama was no more.”

To be honest, I had always been scared of losing my mum. I mean I knew she would die someday, but I didn’t expect it would be that very day. I also knew mama was well advanced in age, yet I had the secret wish that she would stay on earth a bit longer. After all, despite her old age, she was still relatively strong in her body and she always had the love and care she needed from her children and grandchildren. Her health had also remained relatively stable until she suddenly had a relapse two weeks before her demise.

Mama came, she saw and she conquered! That’s the feeling all of us her children share.

There I was standing in my sitting room on that fateful Saturday morning when the news of her death filtered into my ear drums. At first, I had tried not to cry aloud but I couldn’t. I then walked from the sitting room towards the kitchen to tell my wife, Jennifer, about the sad news I just received. I sobbed for a while in her warm embrace as she tried to console me. I then regained my composure, but not fast enough as not to allow my first son notice that everything didn’t seem well with his daddy.

“Mummy, why is daddy crying,” he asked, “did he fall down?”

“No Best, he didn’t fall down. Don’t worry, he will be fine,” my wife tried to explain to the boy.

I wouldn’t blame him; he had never seen me cry since he was born three years ago. Besides, he is only a child and would not even understand the full meaning of death. How would we have explained to him that his paternal grandmother was no more? The last time mama saw him, she was very fond of him; they bonded well together.

I was still a bachelor when mama told me she would be ready to go ‘home’ only when I had given her a grandchild.

I remember then, Mama heart’s was really glad that she had seen a grandson from her last born child – Me! Some years back, I was still a bachelor when mama told me she would be ready to go ‘home’ only when I had given her a grandchild. Over the years that followed, I never forgot those words!

Despite her being advanced in age, I am glad that she didn’t die until her wish came through. In fact, I would say she had more than her wish because she had two grandchildren through my wife and I – in addition to several others from my older siblings and their respective spouses. In all respect, she died a happy woman, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. Fulfilled!

I wept on hearing the news of mum’s passing. But moments later that same day, the negative emotions I felt about her passing began to wane and positive stimulations about her life and times began to well up from my spirit.

Mama came, she saw and she conquered! That’s the feeling all of us her children share. I for one, her exit made me cry. But at the same time, I felt relieved when I began to put things in the proper perspective. I am convinced that she had gone to be with the Lord, because till her death, she maintained an unwavering faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, as her Lord and Saviour. It was this realisation that gave my siblings and I the greatest consolation of heart we needed.

I know I would not be able to describe all things my mother represented, but I know I wrote from my heart.

As I very well recall, naturally, I wept on hearing the news of mum’s passing. But moments later that same day, the negative emotions I felt about her passing began to wane and positive stimulations about her life and times began to well up from my spirit. Suddenly, I thought about her strict love, fearlessness, self-discipline, self-control, contentment, patience, courage, independent mindedness, industry, smiling face, generosity, strong faith in God, fidelity, sense of loyalty and many other sublime qualities too numerous to mention in this space.

In response to the positive thoughts overflow, I pulled by tablet device and began to type as fast as I could and as the words flowed. In the end I came up with these verses of poetic expression below that informed that title of this discourse. I know I would not be able to describe all things my mother represented, but I know I wrote from my heart.

TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

Mama, today you are gone from our midst
But you are not gone from our hearts
Cos we will always remember you
Though you are no more here
Your legacies remain alive with us
You were a mother like no other
You were unique in your own ways.

You lived your life the best way you could

You lived your life the best way you could
You ran the race God set before you
Now you have gone the way of all men
We are sad that you are gone,
But we will always celebrate you.

You found the gospel light at a tender age
And you followed it till you breathe your last
You did not only find the way of Christ
You pointed it out for us your children to follow
You told us you knew no other way, but the way of Christ.

You were a mother like no other

You told us to follow Jesus Christ
Till our days on earth are gone
Now that you are no more here
God will help us to follow through
You taught us how to give the tithe to God
Since the time we were kids
Now that we are grown men and women
We have not forgotten this lesson of yours.

You were a mother like no other
You proved that love and discipline can go together
You never spared the rod to spoil the child
You never feared any man, except God
You showed courage even in danger
You stood for what you believed in
Even when no one else stood with you

You are a shining example of faithfulness, loyalty and discipline

You never went back on your words
You always did what you promised
Your face always carried a cheerful smile
That radiated to those around you
The daughters of men testify of your generosity
Your love was strict, but it was also true
We are glad we had the chance to know this.

You are a shining example of faithfulness, loyalty and discipline
You stayed faithful to God until your last breath
You were loyal to our father even in death
And you disciplined us in love unto maturity
You may be gone from our eyes
But you will never be gone from our hearts.
Adieu Mama, a woman of faith and focus.

 

Copyright| Victor Uyanwanne

BE KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW

BE KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW
By Victor Uyanwanne

Some people think they don’t know so much about anything to be able to teach it to other people. But that’s probably not true. I believe there is always something you know that someone else close-by or afar off may not know, which he may need to know in order to lead a better, healthier and happier life.

Don’t wait until you become an expert before you can begin to share what you know with other people who may need your knowledge. What we often don’t realise, is that no matter how little we know, there is always someone we know much better than who will be interested in what we know. So sharing your so-called ‘little’ knowledge will no doubt be of help to such people.

Nobody will know much if everybody waited to become certified experts before they began to share what they knew . It will not be kind to withhold useful information that someone might need simply because you think you are not an expert yet. So I am of the opinion that sharing what you know with people that need it will not be a bad idea. You will be surprised how much it will improve the quality of lives of people around you.

If we relate with the right kind of people, we will get the right kind of information at relatively no cost.

Sharing what you know can enable people make better decisions that will improve their lives. As I began to think about writing this article, I mentioned to a colleague in the office that during the break hour I would go see an ophthalmologist whose eye clinic was on retainership with our company. The place is located about 3 kilometres away from our upscale office location.

“Why go all that distance,” asked the colleague, “when there is a good one right on our street here”?

“Really? I didn’t I know that!” I enthused. Following my colleague’s suggestion, I simply walked only about 100 meters to get to the eye-clinic he mentioned. As it turned out, and to my pleasant surprise, I got an excellent service from there. That little information volunteered by my colleague saved me the stress of having to drive down a farther distance along a vehicular traffic prone area on that hot afternoon.

When I returned to my desk in the office, I thanked my colleague for the information and also quipped, “The quality of decision one makes depends on the quality of information available to one.” Without wasting time my colleague replied me, “The quality of information one gets depends on the quality of questions one asks”. A third colleague overheard our discussion and also added his voice, “Good quality information costs money, so you have to pay for this one….” We all shared a good laugh over all this.

Besides helping you in clarifying or improving your own knowledge, sharing your knowledge and experiences in life can make life better for someone else, near or afar off.

Well, to be honest, it is true that getting good quality information might cost money, but not necessarily all the time. If we relate with the right kind of people, we will get the right kind of information at relatively no cost. That’s the reason it will be appropriate to commit to sharing what you know so that others can benefit from you.

I don’t know about you, but as for me, I enjoy sharing useful information with people that need it. However I must admit that it is not always as easy as it may seem, especially when I don’t get the kind of positive feedback as I might rightly expect. I don’t mean to scare you here, but I believe getting you reminded that you might be criticized for sharing what you know may help you handle the challenges whenever they begin to come.

What you know now that you refuse to share may be what someone needs to hear to open his eyes to a brighter world than he is right now.

I am sure your background, education, training and experiences in life have afforded you the opportunity of knowing some things that someone else around may not necessarily know. Besides helping you in clarifying or improving your own knowledge, sharing your knowledge and experiences in life can make life better for someone else, near or afar off. Sometimes, you may not be able to go all out to do that, but giving little tips here and there as the need arises could be of immense help to someone.

“How do I start?”, you may ask. Here are a few suggestions to assist you:

• Be willing to be a teacher – you don’t have to be in a classroom setting to do that. Anywhere you find yourself where someone lacks a particular kind of useful knowledge you possess is a good point to begin. People can do things better if they have better tips made available to them. What you know now that you refuse to share may be what someone needs to hear to open his eyes to a brighter world than he is right now.

• Answer useful questions – when someone asks you to explain a concept you know or give information that may be of help to them, be kind and humble enough to do it. A local proverb in Nigeria says that “He who asks questions will never miss his way.” So if someone is humble enough to seek your knowledge by asking you appropriate questions, please be kind enough to answer them.

• Be ready to guide people – there are many people who want to know how you got where you are right now, or how you achieved what you have achieved. If such people want to be like you, please show them the way. “We see farther when we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us.” More so sharing what you know does not decrease your knowledge stock. Isn’t that good pretty obvious?

Use any other strategy that works for you in sharing what you know. It is a world of no limits. Just don’t hoard your knowledge.

• Document your useful experiences in life. Don’t carry your wealth of experience to the great beyond just like that. Write a useful book so others can read about it. Long after you are gone, you will still be speaking via your books.
• Start a blog. Write about what you know. Share your experiences, unique or not so unique, it matters less. Your blog will reach people even in other climes that you might never meet face to face.

Create appropriate videos and post them on youtube for others to see. A number of times, I found some “how to…” videos on youtube to be very helpful. I remain grateful to all those who posted such knowledge sharing videos I have had course to access at one time or another.

Use other social media like Facebook, twitter etc to reach out to people in your cycle and beyond. Share useful tips there. Write useful articles and post them. A number of times, some people have told me that my posts on my Facebook page really helped, inspired or encouraged them. I can say the same thing about what some people posted on their facebook walls that I accessed.

Start a column in a local newspaper of your choice. Have you not noticed that people still read the traditional newspaper despite the internet revolution? Sharing what you know through this medium will sure reach people.

Organize seminar or workshop if you can. This may cost you a bit, but the impact will surprise you.

• If necessary, prepare relevant audio CDs and distribute them. This way, people can gain knowledge listening to you.

Do podcasting too if you can. Someone will be interested.

Use any other strategy that works for you in sharing what you know. It is a world of no limits. Just don’t hoard your knowledge.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE UNPARDONABLE SIN?

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE UNPARDONABLE SIN?

By Victor Uyanwanne

The answer to the question may surprise you. Why did I say so? Because, it probably may not be what you think. Please read on.…

The word “blaspheme” means “to speak evil of; defame; or revile.

For us as Christians, we believe, and rightly so too, that there is no sin that is too much for God to forgive. We believe it, we talk about it and we even sing about it.

In one of the verses in Fanny Crosby’s evergreen hymn “To God Be the Glory,” we normally echo with all assurances that “The vilest offender who truly believes, That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.” That’s a great promise from a great song.

Yet, during his earthly ministry, Jesus Christ, at one point in time stated that “All manner of sin and blasphemy shalt be forgiven unto men: but blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.”

ANDREW

What does Jesus mean by “blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men”? Was He really saying that not all sins can be forgiven? Is the promise of forgiveness not for everyone? Is there any sin the blood of Jesus is incapable of cleansing? What is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit? Who can commit the unpardonable sin? Can an unbeliever commit the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit?

“Therefore, the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost that Jesus warns about must be the willful reviling of the Holy Ghost with knowledge of what is being done

A quick search on google.com along these lines produced several explanations by different people on the issue of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. But I found the one given by Andrew Wommack in his daily devotional article, The Unpardonable Sin, to be of most relevance to my quest. The text of the said article is reproduced below for your further reading.

Over to Andrew……
—————————————————————————————-

THE UNPARDONABLE SIN

MATTHEW 12:31, “Wherefore I say unto you, “All manner of sin and blasphemy shalt be forgiven unto men: but blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.”

LUKE 12:10; MATTHEW 12:24-31; MARK 3:22-30

The word “blaspheme” means “to speak evil of; defame; or revile.” In context, Jesus is saying that blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is attributing the working of the Holy Spirit to the devil. Many people in the Bible did this, including Saul, who became the Apostle Paul. However, we see in 1 Timothy 1:13, that Paul said he received mercy concerning his blasphemy because he had done it “ignorantly in unbelief.” Therefore, the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost that Jesus warns about must be the willful reviling of the Holy Ghost with knowledge of what is being done.

This parallels Hebrews 6:4-6, where qualifications are placed on those who can fall away from grace. This passage indicates that only a mature Christian can commit such a thing. Likewise, with blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, rash statements spoken against the Holy Spirit in ignorance or unbelief by those who don’t really know what they are doing can be forgiven.

From our human perspective, no clear line can be drawn as to when someone becomes accountable for blasphemies and has committed this unpardonable sin. We can be assured that God knows the hearts of all men and that He will judge righteously concerning this. However, God’s Word does show us that when anyone becomes a “reprobate,” they lose all conviction from God (Rom. 1:28).

Therefore, anyone who is convicted and repentant over having possibly blasphemed the Holy Ghost has not yet reached the place where it is unpardonable or they wouldn’t care. Keep your heart tender and sensitive to Him. Listen to His voice speak to you through His Word today.

—————————————————————————————-

©Copyright 2015│Victor Uyanwanne

ON TOP OF MY GAME

ON TOP OF MY GAME
By Victor Uyanwanne

I have to be on top of my game
You can call me by my name
It doesn’t mean I am proud
You know I just have to keep aflame
Like you, I prefer to have fortune and fame
Than live in abject penury and shame

Please don’t leave your game to chance
In every show, put in your best dance

Yes, I want to lead the good pack
And I don’t want to live in a shack
Please don’t blame me at all
It is neither yours, nor my fault
You know Life is very difficult
Not by chance but by default

Please don’t leave your game to chance
In every show, put in your best dance
Always be the best you can be
Live your life to the very full
But try not to be so boastful
And whatever you are, be grateful

Be determined to have your needs met
But never undermine the needs of others

You should mean life like business
That doesn’t mean you should play ruthless
Say what you mean and mean what you say
You know the going is already getting rough
To keep going, you got to really get tough
Be thorough, but no unnecessary show off

Spread out your tentacles, widen your dragnet
Be determined to have your needs met
But never undermine the needs of others
Always put in your very best labour
Do it with all your heart and fervor
Hopefully, you will be met with uncommon favour.

 

©Copyright 2015│Victor Uyanwanne

USE YOUR IMAGINATION

USE YOUR IMAGINATION
By Victor Uyanwanne

Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com
Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com

Use your imagination
It is the world of no limitation
When you get your thoughts limited
You get yourself really cheated.

Use your imagination
It’s a free world of no nation
You don’t need a visa to get in
Neither a permit to work therein.

 
 
 

LOGIC will get you from A to B. IMAGINATION will take you EVERYWHERE – Albert Einstein

Use your imagination
Subject all negatives to incineration
In your mind begin to form the picture
Of your earnestly desired future.

Use your imagination
Let it be your decision
To think better of yourself
Than an old book on a shelf.

Live out of your life imagination, not your history – Steve Covey

Use your imagination
To the point of combustion
So you can produce the energy
That gives you life’s synergy.

Use your imagination
Clear out all the confusion
Reach for the happiness of life
Eliminate all manner of strife.

Use your imagination
Don’t be under compulsion
Learn to use it willingly
You’ll get the benefits steadily.

…If we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless –Jamie Paolinetti

Use your imagination
Change your life beyond comprehension
It doesn’t happen overnight
But it is the beginning of the good fight.

Use your imagination
See yourself, in life, change position
You know you can hardly feature
In the future you don’t picture.

The man who has no imagination has no wings – Mohammed Ali

Use your imagination
You may experience some interruption
But don’t give up
Do your best to stay up.

Use your imagination
Bring yourself out of seclusion
Experience the world called ‘wonderful’
And begin to live life to the full.

Albert Einstein. Photo:LinkedIn.com

 

 

©Copyright 2015│Victor Uyanwanne

Dad, You Can’t Disown Your Son; Son Neither Can You!

Why a father and a son should not disown each other.

Some parents often use unkind words on their children, without caring much about the negative effects such words have on them. Researches have shown that yelling at children or speaking harshly to them negatively affects their self-esteem.

Apart from speaking unkind words and yelling at their children, some parents go as far issuing unnecessary threats too. For example, imagine a dad who lashed at his son in a very strong voice, “….I will disown you.”

That’s really unfair to the child! Forget whether the dad meant it or not, that’s not the issue here now. We know that many angry parents who threaten to disown their children never get to do so. But why use such a threat?

 Truth be told, when a parent threatens to disown a child over some irregular behaviour, or for whatever reason, what comes to the fore more is the lack of a good sense of responsibility on the part of the parent than the foolishness of the child.

Apart from the negative psychological effects such words have on the child, such threats also cast some doubts on the level of maturity of the man as a father. I say this because a mature, patient and responsible parent should know better ways to handle his child’s misdeeds than to issue a threat to disown him or her over such behaviour.

An average teenager does not like to be threatened; parents ought to know better.

Truth be told, when a parent threatens to disown a child over some irregular behaviour, or for whatever reason, what comes to the fore more is the lack of a good sense of responsibility on the part of the parent than the foolishness of the child. Why would a parent contemplate disowning his own biological child, under any circumstance? Bring up any reason and I will tell you that it is not acceptable.

 Whether your dad lives up to your expectation or not, he is still your dad. You don’t even have the right to disrespect him, let alone repudiate his fatherhood.

Let me be frank with you, it is a mark of parental irresponsibility for a parent to disown his child over some unruly behaviour of the child. Parents should take full responsibility for a child’s behaviour. One way or another, parents contribute to whatever behaviour their children put up in life.

To the father, whether it appears so to you or not, your kid is yours forever; you are his dad and he is your son. Whether he behaves well or not, you belong to him and he belongs to you. I mean, he didn’t ask to be brought into the world; it was your choice and your decision. So as long as those words are true, you could not really disown him.

To the child, your dad is yours forever. It doesn’t matter that you were not consulted before he and your mum took the decision to birth you into the world. Do you realise at all that your dad was also not consulted before his own parents gave birth to him? So show some understanding with your dad, please. Whether your dad lives up to your expectation or not, he is still your dad. You don’t even have the right to disrespect him, let alone repudiate his fatherhood.

 It should go without saying that no matter happens, a father should not disown his own biological child, and neither should a child disown his dad.

Several years ago, I watched on TV as ace Nigerian comedian, Tariah Basorge Jnr, told the joke of two kinds of dads who threatened their boys that they would be disowned if they continued with some certain unacceptable behaviour. I can’t recap the story with the exact words he used, but the joke sounded something like this:

The first Dad, wealthy and elitist by all means, threatened his son, “James, if you continue with this type of behaviour, I will disown you.”

James, realizing he had done wrong, replies in an apologetic tone, “Dad, I am sorry. Please don’t disown me. I promise to behave better going forward.”

Second Dad, poor and struggling to earn a living, said to his own son, “John, if you continue with this type of behaviour, I will disown you.”

John, feeling his father’s threat was inconsequential responded, “Disown me? Of what use is it being your son anyway? In fact, I have ‘defathered’ you already. When, my teacher asked us to invite our parents to the school the other day for PTA meeting, did I invite you?”

No parent has any sufficiently justifiable basis to use the words, “I disown you” on his child.

Even though the story was meant to be a joke, the implication is very serious. It is really sad how a dad and a son’s relationship degenerated to the extent like that between John and his dad. The two scenarios paint different pictures worthy of further consideration.

First, James’s response may be considered good enough whereas his father’s threat was as inappropriate as that of John’s father. But John’s response is condemnable by all means. That’s irresponsibility on his part!

All the same, it should go without saying that no matter happens, a father should not disown his own biological child, and neither should a child disown his dad. While I am not trying to say that parents should condone unruly behaviour of their children, it must be stated that parents should not use some kind of negative words on their kids.

When it comes to addressing the misdeeds of a child, a parent should never use “I disown you” on the child. Similarly, when a child comes face to face with the shortcomings of his parent, he should never use “I disown you” on the old block. No parent has a sufficiently justifiable basis to use such words. And no child should say that to any of his parents either.

What do you think? Leave a comment.

 

 

©Copyright 2015 – Victor Uyanwanne

WHAT TOLERANCE REALLY MEANS

WHAT TOLERANCE REALLY MEANS
By Victor Uyanwanne
13/03/2015

I have always been interested in learning new words and I have usually made conscious effort towards achieving that aim. I remember way back in school when we were much younger when we used to keep “New Words and Meaning” notebooks as a deliberate strategy to enhance our knowledge of English words. Those notebooks were really helpful then in building our capacity to understanding English as a second language.

Somehow, I have carried the habit of learning new words into my adult life, but with a different strategy. Thanks to the revolution in ICT! For instance, I subscribed to an offer by my telecom service provider to send me one new English word and its meaning, every day. I have been enjoying this service for years now without fail. This service has afforded me a convenient medium of learning the meaning of many new words and also refreshing my memory with the ones I already knew their meanings.

Along this line recently, while at work, the text message alert on my phone beeped as usual. When I checked the new word that was ‘delivered’ to me, the meaning I saw totally opened a new perspective to me on what I thought I already knew about that word. That was when it hit me to write this piece. Please read on.

What is the word we are talking about here? “Tolerance”! That’s it. I know the word is not new to you as people frequently use it; what I don’t know is how much of its real meaning you really have understood and applied in your own sphere of influence.

You may probably have been tempted to think that tolerance strictly means to put up with something or someone with very nasty, horrible, terrible or poignant attributes. smiles! But look at this definition below and compare it with what you already know about the meaning of the word:

“Tolerance: Willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs which are different from your own.”

I don’t know about you, but the definition above opened up an entirely new vista to me, of which I am glad. It shows for instance that tolerance didn’t say we should put up with evil or bad things or bad people, as some people may think. But it clearly portrays “willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs which are different from [our] own.”

Now let’s take a closer look at the key aspects of the said definition:

• Willingness to accept
• Behaviour and beliefs
• Different from your own

To be honest, tolerance should be required wherever there are inter human relationships because you will always meet people whose behaviour and beliefs are different from yours.

Due to a number of varied factors such as genetic make-up, family background, religion, education, geography, exposure, life experiences etc, all of us believe different things and behave differently from one another. That means that at any point in time in your chequered life, you will always see people who behave or believe differently from you. In order to coexist harmoniously with such people, you should be willing to accept such different behaviour or beliefs, if they cannot be changed.

Talking about changing people’s behaviour and beliefs, experience has shown that many people are aware that some other people do not share their behaviour or beliefs. But sometimes they are unwilling to accept such other people who do not share their outlook. This is often the beginning of unnecessary conflicts.

However, you may only try to effect some changes on peoples’ bahaviour or beliefs if possible to suite yours; but you shouldn’t try to use force. You can’t change anyone who doesn’t really want to be changed. You can only influence such persons.

When it comes to changing someone’s behaviour or beliefs, influence should be the operating word, not force. Otherwise, you must bring to bare the willingness to accept their behaviour and beliefs which you perceive to be different from your own and which you cannot change. That, my friend, is the real meaning of tolerance.

Bear in mind that tolerance is a seed; as you sow it, you will reap the sweet harvest. Besides don’t you realize that others would have to tolerate you too? I believe you know that not all your behaviour and beliefs are acceptable to everyone you come in contact with! Although, I cannot guarantee it, they too ought to be willing to accept your behaviour and beliefs which are different from their own. There is no worthwhile relationship that doesn’t require tolerance in between.

Like all good habits, tolerance doesn’t just happen to us; it has to be cultivated deliberately and ‘open-heartedly’. It is very important to cultivate it because you will need it if you desire to build a meaningful, harmonious and long-lasting relationship of any kind with people.

Here are a few areas where we can apply the principle of tolerance:
• At home, between spouses , amongst siblings or other family members;
• At work , between you and your boss, colleagues or direct reports;
• In your neighourhoods, amongst cotenants, etc
• Amongst your friends, classmates in schools etc
• In churches, with members and leaders alike;
• In other organisations /relationships, etc
• In fact, anywhere you come in contact with humans.

People are different. You are not everyone and everyone is not you. Therefore, there will always be differences in behaviour and beliefs between you and others. There would be conflicts all the time in all kinds of human relationships if the principle of tolerance is not imbibed. The extent to which you realise this differences and how well you are willing to accept and manage them depict your level of tolerance at any given period of time.