8 Things Every Christian Man Should Regularly Give His Wife

When I shared Seven Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband, I thought it would be a one-off post. But one of my readers raised the valid point of the need to always ensure there is a counter-balance in a loving relationship.

In response to that apt observation, I am writing this post to highlight some of the expectations from the husband as well. While the former post was for a predominantly women audience, this is directed mainly at men.

That not withstanding, if you are a (married) woman reading this, be sure to continue reading to the end. I assure you, you will not regret it.

Now here are:

8 Things Every Christian Man Should Regularly Give His Wife

What husbands should give to their wives daily.

1. Love

  • This is the first thing a Christian man should give his wife. It is commanded of him by the Lord.
  • The wife expects her husband to love her wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Your wife is not perfect, but you should love her still!

2. Provision

  • A husband should ensure that the wife’s (emotional, physical, financial, spiritual) needs are provided for.
  • Not providing for the woman will leave her feeling stressed, frustrated and insecure.

3. Protection

  • The husband should provide protection to the wife against the harmful effects of the elements, hurtful people and other harmful things;
  • The husband should provide security to the wife so she has “freedom from, or resilience against, potential harm (or other unwanted coercive change) from external forces.”

4. Leadership

  • The christian husband should provide all kinds of leadership, including spiritual leadership, to the wife.
  • The wife may be disillusioned if the husband fails to show or lead the way.

5. Commitment

  • Commitment in marriage is a journey not a destination. The husband should daily demonstrate his commitment to his wife.
  • The wife expects her husband to be committed to her and only her. The commitment is not for a short while, she (rightly) expects it to be forever.

6. Fidelity

  • The Christian man should not share his affection with any other woman; he should continue to demonstrate continuing loyalty and support to his wife only.
  • The man should emotionally and intimately commit to being faithful to his wife. He should not seek sexual gratification from anyone other than his wife.

7. Help

  • The wife is called the help-meet for the husband. But that doesn’t mean the husband cannot be a helper to the wife too.
  • A wife expects her husband to help out (especially with the chores) around the house.

8. Empathy

  • The husband should seek to understand and share the feelings of his wife.
  • He should give a listening ear to his wife, be patient with her and forgive her a million times in a day.

Remember what the Bible says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV.

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Thank you for reading my thoughts. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

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7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband

I was recently invited to be part of the discussants in a church’s women’s end-of-year conference. But I sent them my apologies because I had another engagement billed for the date and time they chose.

However, the organisers requested that (since I could not be physically present at the event) I sent in my contribution in writing on Things Every Christian Woman Should Give Her Husband.  I obliged their request by sending them a written short note as I thought it out.

The feedback I got after the programme was that my note was a blessing to them in that meeting. So in this post, I have decided to share with you the same thoughts I shared with those church women in their conference. I hope you find something useful in it.

Like I said, I drafted the write-up for a predominantly women audience, but that does not mean that you should not read it if you are a man. So let’s go there…


7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband

husband-wife relationship

1. Respect

A husband expects his wife to respect him in two ways:

  • By words – what she say to him and about about.
  • By action – how she treats him at home or outside the home.

2. Sex

  • A Christian wife should understand that intimacy and sex is very important to the husband, as this is a need only she can meet;
  • A wife should not deny the husband his right over her body.

3. Food

  • A wife should provide good food, timely and regularly for the husband/family;
  • A wife who doesn’t know how to cook good food should go and learn.

4. Appreciation

  • A husband expects the wife to appreciate him for providing for the family.
  • A woman should have an attitude of gratitude, not grumbling, not complaining.

5. Trust

  • A wife should show trust and confidence in the ability of the man to lead the home;
  • A wife should support her husband’s vision or project. She should not use her mouth to tear it down.

6. Peace

  • The man will never feel peaceful at home if the wife is always nagging.
  • If a wife fails to create a peaceful home, the husband will not feel happy returning home.

7. Neatness

  • A husband expects his wife to take good care of herself.
  • She should maintain good personal and family hygiene.

Remember what the Bible says:

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Prov. 14:1.

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Thank you for reading my thoughts. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

Your Wife Is Your Reward

Ecclesiastes 9:9

The Sun was already going down for the day. And there I was seated by the window side on our staff bus being driven home after work.

The vehicle was filled with other staffers who like me had equally earned a living for the day. We were all eager to get back home to our families and to have a well-deserved night rest.

But the ever busy Lagos traffic was hampering our speed; we were moving at snail’s speed. We are used to that kind of experience!

At the moment, I was gazing blankly at the evening sky through the window screen of the vehicle. And suddenly, I perceived in my spirit something I now consider a personal revelation from Above: Your is your reward.

Really? I should have known that a long time ago!

“Your wife is your reward,” I reechoed under my breath.

But how come those words have never formed part of my regular vocabulary? After all, I have always called my wife a “Gift From Above.” And I believe that with all my heart.

Something was happening here: the eyes of my understanding were further being enlightened, with a clear message out from the blues or better put, from the Spirit of God.

Your wife is your reward! It struck me so much that I knew there must be more to those words than I had previously known. So immediately, the researcher in me was called to work; I pulled my smart phone and did a quick Google search of “Your wife is your reward.”

Instead of a preponderance of web articles being thrown up, a Bible reference was atop the search result. And I wasted no moment in opening it to examine.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that these same words, “Your wife is your reward,” are in the Bible (Ecclesiastes 9:9). I took that as a confirmation that it was God that spoke those words directly to my heart moments earlier.

Since then I have read the verse over again from different versions of the Bible. The translation in the New Living Bible helped me understand it better:

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly. Ecclesiastes 9:9, NLT.

By ordinary meaning, we know that a reward is “a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement.”

And there in the Bible verse we just read, we have it that your wife is your reward for your earthly toil.

I wouldn’t know what you think of that. But As God is the One who said “Your wife is your reward,” we can be sure that He cannot be mistaken about it.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

Birthday offering: How I met my wife

Where I met my spouse

Last March was my fifth wedding anniversary. As I continue to celebrate the privilege of being married to one of God’s special princesses, it is my pleasure to let you in on how, or better still where, I met her.

You can consider it my birthday offering to you on this special day of mine. Today is my birthday. Ooops, I guess I had to let you in on that!

I have always known that I would one day write about how I met my wife. But I didn’t know that that day would come so soon.

Something happened that made it come sooner than I had thought. During an online search recently, I stumbled on a comment I had made in the past on a Nigerian online forum.

The comment was my response to the topic of the post which was simply a question entitled, ‘Where did you meet your spouse?’ To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised to read the response again.

Here we go:

I met her in church. We became friends. Just friends, serving God faithfully in [the] youth ministry [of our church].

Later, my heart began to skip a bit for her. The mere thought of her brought smiles to my heart.

At first, I felt concerned that I was taking the friendship [further] more than I had thought.

“What is wrong with me?” I asked myself.

I prayed about it. I got the assurance that all was well. I told her I loved her and would want to marry her. [It] turned out she was convinced about me too.

Two years later, she became my wife and has been so [five] years now. We have been happy ever after. I thank God for everything.

Although it was an impromptu response I made back then, reading it again now made me feel that I gave an appreciably good summary of where and how I met my wife. This it was that precipitated this post.

So allow me to delve a little more into the full story.

We met in church

I have heard stories of people meeting their spouses in all kinds of places. Even though my mind was open as to where I could meet my would-be-wife, I would consider it a blessing that I met her in Church.

There was this joke back then that if you are looking for a decent girl for a wife then look for her in the church. Whether that’s necessarily true or not, I leave that to you to decide.

Then, I wasn’t particularly sure about where I could meet my would-be-spouse. But I was very sure about who she should be.

The Uyanwanne's

I was convinced she would be someone who had made a strong commitment to God, through a personal relationship with Jesus as Lord and Saviour. Someone who was committed to living her life on Earth to the glory of God and for the benefit of mankind, with eternity in view.

Of course, there were other things I considered, but the above mentioned were not negotiable. It is possible to find such a blessed lady in any possible place around the world. But as God would have it, my church in Lagos was my lucky place.

Our Friendship was healthy

We were individually actively involved in the Lord’s service.  I was the Bible Study coordinator of our Church’s Youth Fellowship and later the Vice President of the group. On her part, she was an active voice in the Youth choir as well as in the main Church choir.

Our friendship developed gradually and blossomed into a very close one. It flourished on a platonic level or what we could describe in Nigerian parlance as just “a brother and a sister in Christ” relationship. Nothing more until love began to set in….

We moved from friendship to love.

Oh the innocent ‘boy’ has fallen in love. You know that feeling of fallen in love? I felt it strongly then. But I was a bit concerned.

“Why would I want to bring ‘love’ into our heavenly friendship and ruin everything?” I had asked myself.

We had mutual respect and trust for each other. We knew the boundaries we set for ourselves. Besides, I never thought I would marry a friend.

But instead of the awesome feeling of love going away, it became strengthened in my heart and louder in my ears. I was glowing! But I was careful not to let her know how I was feeling yet.

“I must do something about it,” I challenged myself.

I cross-checked everything with my Father in Heaven. I believe in prayer; it helps me clarify my thoughts.

“Oh God my Father, do you have a hand in this strong splurge of love I feel in my heart for Your daughter, Jenny?’ I had asked God in prayer.

‘Yes’ was the answer I received in my heart from the still small voice. Once, I knew God was involved, my worries ceased; peace and divine assurance filled my heart.

“One more thing Lord, she is your daughter too.” I pointed out to God – as if He didn’t already know. “Please speak to her about ‘us’. Prepare her heart for this eternal love you have told me I am going to share with her.”

The feeling was mutual.

Not long afterwards, it became clear to me that my prayers had been answered. God had put my love in her heart just as He had put her love in mine. We were ‘flowing’ with each other.

We each knew where God was pointing us to, and we were ready to go with Him all the way to the marriage altar.

The proposal.

I waited till I perceived the time was right to pop the question.

‘Will you marry me?’ I asked her after 9 months down the line.

‘Yes, I will’ was the heavenly response I got from her.

Thus, our courtship officially began. I am grateful, she didn’t make me wait any longer before giving me her consent.

“Give me some more time” some other lady may have said to me. But not my sweet Love, she was prepared for me as I was ready for her. Fifth wedding anniversary

Marriage altar here we come.

Two years afterwards, we both stood before God’s holy altar and echoed “I do, I do” to each other, as we were pronounced husband and wife.

It’s been five years since then. And we are still counting …

I met my wife in Church. I have no doubts that God arranged it that way. That’s my story.

Would you share a little about how you met your spouse?

 

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO US

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO US

By Victor Uyanwanne

MR & MRS VICTOR UYANWANNE

Today is March 26, 2015. To everyone else, it may look like any other day. But to my wife, Jenny and I, it is our fourth year wedding anniversary. Somehow, just like any other happily married couple, we have a right to see the day as special. I believe you agree with me.

Exactly 1460 days ago, I got married to My Love (that’s what I call her). You see, time flies! But it seemed like yesterday, when our wonderful friends and our ever-supportive families gathered to see me get married to the most beautiful lady on earth. Smiles!

VICTOR & JENNIFER UYANWANNE WITH PASTORS AND DEACONESSES PRESENT AT THE WEDDING

I can still recall how very happy I was on that day. Believe me, I was happy and it showed. But beyond the butterflies in my stomach and the radiant smiles on my face then, to the delight of everyone present, I also sang a song for my wife’s pleasure during our wedding reception. (I had written the song for this purpose).

“You made me feel so special in the eyes of everyone”. That was what my wife said to me after the special song rendition I did for her. Well, to me, I didn’t just make her feel special – She is special, very special.

JENNIFER UYANWANNE

I didn’t have the voice of a Celine Dion. But with my heart filled with divine love, I sang the song with my-good-enough voice and made my wife very happy. Isn’t that what matters?

Here is the first verse of the song. Hopefully, in future we will do a music video out of it (smiles):

I love you, JennyVICTOR UYANWANNE
I love you from my heart
I meant it when I stood before God’s holy altar
And I said “I do”
Now there is nothing that can happen
That will make me change my mind
This is from heart

Four years down the road, my joy still knows no bounds. I have no doubt that she feels same way too. As we encapsulated in the toast on our wedding invitation card, for us it was:

Friendship made in Heaven
Established in love on Earth
To be together forever

VICTOR & JENNIFER UYANWANNE - TRADITIONAL OUTFIT

That was how we felt then. That is how we still feel today. By the grace of God, we will always feel that way.

……… My wife was still asleep when I rushed off to the office this morning. But it doesn’t make the day less special for us. The coming weekend will be a good time to celebrate our four years of marital bliss. (Please, understand that we also had a share of our challenges. But we are always overcoming them).

Meanwhile, as I began to settle down to begin the days work, I quickly sent a BBM chat to my wife:

“My greatest joy is that you are the one I married. Happy wedding anniversary, my Love.”  Almost immediately, I got a response from her:

“Yeah! Thanks. It’s been four years of happiness. I’m glad you are my husband. Happy wedding anniversary to us.”

What more can I say?

MR & MRS VICTOR UYANWANNE WITH SAMUEL UYANWANNEMR & MRS VICTOR UYANWANNEVICTOR & JENNIFER UYANWANNE WITH BARRISTER & MRS ESEZOBORVICTOR & JENNIFER UYANWANNE WITH LITTLE GROOM & LITTLE BRIDE WALKING INVICTOR & JENNIFER UYANWANNE WITH PASTORS AND DEACONESSES PRESENT AT THE WEDDINGVICTOR & UYANWANNEVICTOR UYANWANNE RECEIVING THE BRIDE FROM HER DADVICTOR UYANWANNE WITH LITTLE GROOM BEST UYANWANNE