8 Things Every Christian Man Should Regularly Give His Wife

When I shared Seven Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband, I thought it would be a one-off post. But one of my readers raised the valid point of the need to always ensure there is a counter-balance in a loving relationship.

In response to that apt observation, I am writing this post to highlight some of the expectations from the husband as well. While the former post was for a predominantly women audience, this is directed mainly at men.

That not withstanding, if you are a (married) woman reading this, be sure to continue reading to the end. I assure you, you will not regret it.

Now here are:

8 Things Every Christian Man Should Regularly Give His Wife

What husbands should give to their wives daily.

1. Love

  • This is the first thing  a Christian man should give his wife. It is commanded of him by the Lord.
  • The wife expects her husband to love her wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Your wife is not perfect, but you should love her still!

2. Provision

  • A husband should ensure that the wife’s  (emotional, physical, financial, spiritual) needs are provided for.
  • Not providing for the woman will leave her feeling stressed, frustrated and insecure.

3. Protection

  • The husband should provide protection to the wife against the harmful effects of the elements, hurtful people and other handful things;
  • The husband should provide security  to the wife so she has “freedom from, or resilience against, potential harm (or other unwanted coercive change) from external forces.”

4. Leadership

  • The christian husband should provide all kinds of leadership, including spiritual leadership, to the wife.
  • The wife may be disillusioned if the husband fails to show or lead the way.

5. Commitment

  • Commitment in marriage is a journey not a destination. The husband should daily demonstrate her commitment to his wife.
  • The wife expects her husband to be committed to her and only her. The commitment is not for a short while, she (rightly) expects it to be forever.

6. Fidelity

  • The Christian man should not share his affection with any other woman; he should continue to demonstrate continuing loyalty and support to his wife only.
  • The man should emotionally and intimately commit to being faithful to his wife. He should not seek sexual gratification from any one other than his wife.

7. Help

  • The wife is called the help-meet for the husband. But that doesn’t mean the husband cannot be a helper to the wife too.
  • A wife expects her husband to help out (especially with the chores) around the house.

8. Empathy

  • The husband should seek to understand and share the feelings of his wife.
  • He should give a listening ear to his wife, be patient with her and forgive her a million times in a day.

Remember what the Bible says:

 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV.

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Thank you for reading my thoughts. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

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7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband

I was recently invited to be part of the discussants in a church’s women’s end-of-year conference. But I sent them my apologies because I had another engagement billed for the date and time they chose.

However, the organisers requested that (since I could not be physically present at the event) I sent in my contribution in writing on Things Every Christian Woman Should Give Her Husband.  I obliged their request by sending them a written short note as I thought it out.

The feedback I got after the programme was that my note was a blessing to them in that meeting. So in this post, I have decided to share with you the same thoughts I shared with those church women in their conference. I hope you find something useful in it.

Like I said, I drafted the write-up for a predominantly women audience, but that does not mean that you should not read it if you are a man. So let’s go there…


7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Regularly Give Her Husband

husband-wife relationship

1. Respect

A husband expects his wife to respect him in two ways:

  • By words – what she say to him and about about.
  • By action – how she treats him at home or outside the home.

2. Sex

  • A Christian wife should understand that intimacy and sex is very important to the husband, as this is a need only she can meet;
  • A wife should not deny the husband his right over her body.

3. Food

  • A wife should provide good food, timely and regularly for the husband/family;
  • A wife who doesn’t know how to cook good food should go and learn.

4. Appreciation

  • A husband expects the wife to appreciate him for providing for the family.
  • A woman should have an attitude of gratitude, not grumbling, not complaining.

5. Trust

  • A wife should show trust and confidence in the ability of the man to lead the home;
  • A wife should support her husband’s vision or project. She should not use her mouth to tear it down.

6. Peace

  • The man will never feel peaceful at home if the wife is always nagging.
  • If a wife fails to create a peaceful home, the husband will not feel happy returning home.

7. Neatness

  • A husband expects his wife to take good care of herself.
  • She should maintain good personal and family hygiene.

Remember what the Bible says:

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Prov. 14:1.

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Thank you for reading my thoughts. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

Your Wife Is Your Reward

Ecclesiastes 9:9

The Sun was already going down for the day. And there I was seated by the window side on our staff bus being driven home after work.

The vehicle was filled with other staffers who like me had equally earned a living for the day. We were all eager to get back home to our families and to have a well-deserved night rest.

But the ever busy Lagos traffic was hampering our speed; we were moving at snail’s speed. We are used to that kind of experience!

At the moment, I was gazing blankly at the evening sky through the window screen of the vehicle. And suddenly, I perceived in my spirit something I now consider a personal revelation from Above: Your is your reward.

Really? I should have known that a long time ago!

“Your wife is your reward,” I reechoed under my breath.

But how come those words have never formed part of my regular vocabulary? After all, I have always called my wife a “Gift From Above.” And I believe that with all my heart.

Something was happening here: the eyes of my understanding were further being enlightened, with a clear message out from the blues or better put, from the Spirit of God.

Your wife is your reward! It struck me so much that I knew there must be more to those words than I had previously known. So immediately, the researcher in me was called to work; I pulled my smart phone and did a quick Google search of “Your wife is your reward.”

Instead of a preponderance of web articles being thrown up, a Bible reference was atop the search result. And I wasted no moment in opening it to examine.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that these same words, “Your wife is your reward,” are in the Bible (Ecclesiastes 9:9). I took that as a confirmation that it was God that spoke those words directly to my heart moments earlier.

Since then I have read the verse over again from different versions of the Bible. The translation in the New Living Bible helped me understand it better:

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly. Ecclesiastes 9:9, NLT.

By ordinary meaning, we know that a reward is “a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement.”

And there in the Bible verse we just read, we have it that your wife is your reward for your earthly toil.

I wouldn’t know what you think of that. But As God is the One who said “Your wife is your reward,” we can be sure that He cannot be mistaken about it.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2018|Victor Uyanwanne

Bartimaeus: 9 Inspirational Lessons From A Blind Man

the story of blind Bartimaeus

The unstoppable man

Bartimaeus was blind but he could hear. He didn’t have the sight to see Jesus, but he had the ear to hear that he (Jesus) was passing his way.

At a certain time in His ministry, Jesus and His disciples visited the city of Jericho. And as they left the metropolis, they  were thronged from behind.

In the process, Bartimaeus, a blind roadside beggar who heard that Jesus Christ of Nazareth was passing by began to call out to Him as loud as he could, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

The people around him tried to shut him down. But the more they tried to make him keep quiet, the louder he shouted. He eventually got the attention of Jesus who healed him of his blindness (Matthew 10:46-52).

You cannot read the story of this blind man without being inspired by his persistent attitude. As I looked at the story again, I realised that there are many things we can learn from him.

The story of Bartimaeus was one of a beggarly  blind man, who could hear, who had faith, had courage, had focus, had a voice, who proved to be unstoppable, and who got his desired miracle: restoration of sight when he encountered Jesus Christ.

The event might have happened over two thousand years  ago but there are life lessons from it that we can apply today in our lives today.  And that is why I am writing this post, with the hope that you will pick a lesson or two.

Here is the account of the story of blind Bartimaeus as recorded in the Gospel of Mark:


Mark 10:

46And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.

47And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

48And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

49And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.

50And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus. ” He began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.”

51And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.

52And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.


9 Good lessons you can learn from blind Bartimaeus (and apply in your life right now)


1. Bartimaeus had information that Jesus was passing by

“...When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth…”

As I observed in the introduction, Bartimaeus might have been blind, but he could hear. And he used his hearing sense very well. He had correct and timely information that Jesus was coming around.

Whatever situation you find yourself, you need the right information to bring about the desired change.  For Bartimaeus, all he needed to hear was that Jesus was passing through his territory and he knew what to do with that information…

Do you have timely and accurate information at your disposal? Do you have the kind of information that will positively impart your life? Are you even actively seeking for relevant information that will make you live healthier, happier or even wealthier?

You might be shocked that the change you need right now is in the information you haven’t heard yet. Seek information.

Victorscorner

2. Bartimaeus used the information on Jesus presence to his advantage

“He began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.”

It is one thing to have the correct information at your disposal. It is another to use it to your advantage. Bartimaeus got it right on both spheres.

He had the correct information that Jesus was passing by, he capitalised on it to get healed. Even if it meant creating a scene,  he was not bothered.

Based on the information available at his disposal, Bartimaeus cried out and he got helped. He was not the only blind person in Jericho who might have heard that Jesus was passing by. But he did not only hear, he also acted proactively based on what he heard.

I have no doubt that blind Bartimeaus must have heard about Jesus healing the blind, the lame, the deaf and the dumb before. He had to do whatever he had to do to get the attention of Jesus, so that he too could be healed.

Bartimaeus recognised an opportunity and he took it; He knew that it was not enough to have Jesus come around his vicinity.  It was his one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get healed of his blindness. So he called out to Jesus for the help he so badly needed.

What good information do you have at your disposal right now that you are not using? It is not enough to have the right information. You have to make appropriate use of it – to your advantage. Bartimaeus would have remained blind if he had not used the information he had to meet Jesus.

3. Bartimaeus had a revelation of who Jesus is

So Bartimaeus called out to Him, “Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.”

In Matthew 1:1, we have it recorded, “The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham…” But He is more than that: He is the long-awaited Messiah, the Saviour, the Deliverer.

Blind Bartimaeus did not only recognised Jesus as the Son of David, he also knew that the mercies of God are with Him. Hundreds of years before that time, God had promised David that He would never withdraw His mercies from him.

but my steadfast love will not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away from before you. And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever. 2 Samuel 7:15-16

Now Jesus has become the custodian of all grace… And Bartimaeus knew it!

What revelation do you have about Jesus? Is He your Saviour, healer, deliverer, helper, lover, provider, protector, master? The revelation you have about His identity will often determine how you relate with Him, or call out to Him for help like Bartimaeus did.

4. Bartimaeus showed courage in the midst of intimidation

And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.”

Bartimaeus was a very courageous man. Or how else can you explain the fact that he refused to be intimidated into silence by the many people who tried to shout him down?

Strong able-bodied men who had their sense of sight intact wanted to stop this blind man from asking Jesus for help. But, thankfully, he proved to be unstoppable; the more they tried to  silence him, the more he shouted out loud. “Son of David, have mercy on me.”

Think about it, how many times you have abandoned a good project simply because everyone went against you! Learn from this man, and show courage no matter the level of intimidation you may face.

So long as you are on the right path, don’t allow anyone intimidate you into oblivion. Like blind Bartimaeus, shout if you need to!

5. Added to his courage, Bartimaeus showed persistence till he got Jesus’ attention

“And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.”

Bartimeaus persisted in the pursuit of what he wanted. The people wanted to stand in his way, but he went past them. They shouted him down many times, but he refused to be cowed until Jesus got his attention.

At long last, Jesus got to hear Bartimeaus’s call and responded,  “And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise.”

I like that expression, Jesus stood still ! Why? Because of Bartimaeus’s importunity. An interesting twist to the story is that the same people who were trying to shout Bartimaeus down were the same people who were now telling him, “cheer up, Jesus is calling you.”

Don’t you think Jesus would have moved on without stopping if this man had not persisted in calling out to Him for help? You see, persistence pays! So you have to keep doing the right thing until you get the result you desire.

For instance, when you pray once and you do not see any visible result, what will you do? Quit? No – pray again, until your change comes.

6. Bartimaeus had to shed ‘excess weight’ to move closer to his goal

And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.”

What is that excess weight that may hinder you from reaching your goal faster? For Bartimaeus, it was his garment. I don’t know how heavy it was for him to carry but the fact that he had to cast it aside to answer Jesus’s call meant that it was obstructing his free movement.

Mind you, a garment was a necessity for Bartimaeus. But at that time it was coming between him and his quest to receive his sight back, so it had to be dropped.

What is that ‘important’ thing that is holding you down? What necessity are you carrying right now that is slowing your pace of progress? It is time to cast it aside in order to move faster and closer to your goal.

7.  Bartimaeus knew exactly what he wanted. 

“And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.”

Why was Bartimaeus calling out to Jesus? He knew what he wanted!

Why did he refuse to keep quiet when the people told him to shut up?  He knew what he wanted!

Why did he run as fast as he could to meet Jesus once He invited him on?  He knew what he wanted!

It is not that Jesus didn’t see that Bartimaeus was blind. He wanted to afford him the privilege of making a specific request, and having it granted to him. So Jesus asked, what do you want me to do for you? Our man who already knew exactly what he wanted, replied, “that I may see Lord.”

Do you know exactly what you want in life? If you have been praying, are your requests clear and specific? It is high time you did some personal reevaluation in that regard.

If you don’t know what you want, find out. As someone I know used to say, “If you don’t define, you won’t find.”

Blind Bartimaeus

8. Bartimaeus had faith to be healed

“And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. “

We see in Bartimaeus, a man of courage, a man that knew what he wanted, a fearless man. An unstoppable person. A man with with a voice. All well and good.

But in addition to all that, Jesus himself lets us know that Bartimaeus was also a man of faith. He had the faith that Jesus could make him receive his sight back and it worked!

“And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole.”

Faith without works is dead. Bartimaeus’s faith was not dead. It was active, vocal, proactive and well-directed. And it produced result – restoration of sight.

Faith, that’s what it takes to please God. That’s what guarantees that you will have what you asked for.

Whenever you come to God, never forget to apply your faith. It is what will make you whole!

9. Bartimaeus became a follower of Jesus at once

“And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.”

You might say that Bartimeaus’s decision to follow Jesus once he got his sight back was a natural response just like some other people who began to follow Jesus after He healed them. But he was not forced; it was a personal decision he made.

If you check the Gospels, you will see that there were people who were healed by Jesus but never bothered to follow Him.  There were also healed people who offered to follow Jesus immediately, but He didn’t oblige them.

For Bartimaeus, everything seemed to be going for Him. Although Jesus had told him, “Go your way,” he still stayed with Jesus and Jesus allowed him.

“…”Immediately, he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.” We were not told how long he followed Jesus. But he followed him all the same!

When you are blessed, you should not run away from God. If the blessing of God upon your life –  be it healing, prosperity, deliverance, or whatever else God does for you – drives you away from God, it means you have handled the blessing wrongly. God does things for us to win us to His side and not to lose us.

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What other lessons can we learn from the story of blind Bartimaeus?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

The House Girl – A Book Review

Books by Ufuomae

Quite recently, I ordered a copy of The House Girl, alongside two other titles by the same author. It was a privilege to have the mentioned books autographed and delivered to my door-step by the author herself.

During my meeting with the author, I had promised her that I would read the books and give her a review. (In case you missed it, you may read From a Blog friend to a true life friend, being the post I used to share my face to face meeting with the author on that fateful day).

What follows in this post will be my review of the first of the three books I purchased from her stable which I have read completely so far. Subsequent reviews will follow once I have finished reading the other titles.

Ufuomaee, the brilliant author of  The House Girl,  is “a young professional, a social entrepreneur and the Founder/CEO of Fair Life Africa Foundation, a charity that supports under-privileged children” in Nigeria. She is the author of Ufuoma series blog where she shares about her faith in God, and also writes “Christian romantic fiction, with lots of drama and scandal, that challenges all to think about their lifestyle and choices.”

Her blog is worthy of your visit or follow if you are interested in reading very insightful posts on faith, life and living.

About The House Girl.

The book is about a village girl who was taken to Abuja city to work as a domestic staff for a rich interracial married couple who have also promised to send her to school. While in the employ of the family, the girl discharged her house-duties as expected. But much time passed and she wasn’t registered in any school as promised to her parents.

That made the girl to feel very unhappy and this caught the attention of the man of the house. As a result, both of them began to have short but secret conversations that made them more familiar with each other. Soon enough they each began to have unholy ideas…

With their hearts burning for each other already, “all that restrained them from doing what they both desired to do was self-fill and self-control. And that thing called conscience.” But they could only hold out for a little while, as it did not take long before the spirit of lust took the better part of the duo, leading to numerous consensual sexual encounters between them.

Unsurprisingly, the madam of the house soon began to suspect that there was something clandestine going on between her maid and and her husband. It was only a matter of time before her worst suspicions were validated and the aftermath shook her marriage to it’s deepest foundations.

Thankfully, in the end, the marriage narrowly survived from the brink of complete collapse. But not until after all the parties involved in the unfolding drama had been to hell and back.

In more ways than one, I found the book easy to read and the characters largely credible.  Anyone who reads the book objectively will admit that that the personalities represented by each of the characters are ‘things’ that are not so far-fetched in whatever society we may find ourselves.

Ufuoma E Ashobon's books
Victor with Ufuomaee, proudly displaying some of the books authored by her.

The main characters

Each of the characters, just like any mortal alive, has his or her strengths and weaknesses. And it is how they are managed that determines the results or consequences.

For the protagonist, Chinyere, as vulnerable as she was, she could be considered a victim of her own circumstances. At the same time, it may not be wrong for one can to say that she was all too willing to engage in unwholesome canal encounter with the man of the house.

For a teenage girl whom it was implied was without a previous experience in that area, she could have exercised a bit of constraints – may be out of fear or respect, but she didn’t. So instead of one saying that Chinyere was taken advantage of by Donald, the man of the house, one can  safely say that she was a willing participant in igniting the fire that almost completely engulfed her life and existence.

Donald, although a seeming gentleman became overcame by lust and exercised no sustained power of restraint in cheating on his wife  again and again… May be that’s one of the consequences of his never having to acknowledge that there is a God to whom we are all accountable to.

Besides, even though he claimed he didn’t plan on cheating on his wife with their house maid, he shamefully admitted “not being strong enough to resist [the beautiful] temptation” under the same roof with him.

The emotional and mental trauma, bribery, blackmail and risk of imprisonment that followed Donald’s misadventure remind everyone that our actions have consequences.  And infidelity, like the Bible points out, is like fire. You cannot put it in your bosom and expect not to be burnt (Proverbs 6:27).

As for Osinachi, the madam of the house, at a point she was more or less an absentee wife. Her frequent trips outside the home contributed in creating the vacuum that her husband exploited to begin cheating on her with the house maid.

She also made some avoidable choices that blew up in her face. For instance, in her desperate bid to become a mother after she could not  carry a baby to full term, she went on a misguided  journey of adopting a child without her husband’s consent, leading to a further alienation from him.

Even after the husband had accepted the new reality of becoming a dad by force (thanks to his wife’s desperation), the adoption was later reversed contrary to their expectation and they found themselves back to square one.

Couples should endeavour to agree on issues of strategic importance in the family. If either party goes solo on such issue, it may not augur well for them at the end.

My favourite character

If I were to choose a favourite character in the book, it would have to be Mrs Oji, Osinachi’s mum. I like the way she put things in proper perspective for her daughter, when she was seriously heart-broken over her husband’s serial infidelity.

I consider her advice and pep-talk as one of the key things that empowered Osinachi to fight to save her marriage.

“If you don’t know God for yourself…,” said Mrs Oji to her heart-broken daughter, “If you are not walking in His will, how can you lead another to Him? You are in this situation first because of your own sin! When you address that and learn from God what His will is, then you can make corrections in your life. Whether or not your marriage survives is secondary! You just have to get right with God, Osinachi.”

It was this friendly hard-knock that jolted Osinachi to reality.  At that moment, she came to realise that “She has been practicing religion all these years; she didn’t know God for herself. No wonder her life could not influence her husband’s.”

Mrs Oji might have been advising her daughter over her husband. But I feel many wives around the world who love their husbands and want to save their marriages could use her other advice too: “Don’t relent in praying for him. Don’t stop forgiving him. Don’t hold back love and respect for him.”

Final thoughts

In  The House Girl, the author did a good job in telling a relatable story in such a way that vivid life lessons can be drawn from it. Each character presents a different angle to the lessons of life that can be gleaned from the book.

I found that that the following themes were covered in the book: The vulnerability of the girl child (especially the one from a less privileged background) to sexual exploitation, making an interracial marriage work, issues around child-bearing, challenges with child adoption, teenage pregnancy, living with a mental health issue, secrecy in marriage, love and commitment, forgiveness, personal relationship with God, role of parents in-law in saving a troubled marriage, rape, infidelity, blackmail, bribery, to mention but a few.

I liked reading the book and I would not hesitate in recommending it to you as well. I think that irrespective of one’s age or experiences in life, anyone that reads that books will definitely find a lesson or two to draw from it for personal application.

In closing, I will leave you with the following quotes from the book:

“It takes strength to give grace to others.”

“We are only as strong as our minds, not even our bodies.”

“We have to make sure we are working in faith and obedience if we want God’s best.”

“In service to others and in simplicity, there is so much joy to be found in life.”

“Never close the book on anyone, nor underestimate what you or anyone can be[come] tomorrow.”

“Never miss an opportunity to make impact in some one else’s life. Even if they never pay it back, they will pay it forward through the contribution they will make in the world.”

“Do not be afraid to challenge the system you enter. Do not be afraid to be the difference. All life is growth and change and you are the change the world is waiting for.”

***

The House Girl is available for purchase on Amazon.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Blog Comments Turned into Full-fledged Posts

 

blog comments vs blog post

In a previous post, I suggested that you could turn some of the most outstanding comments on your blog into full-fledged posts.  The idea is that turning outstanding comments on your blog to full-fledged posts will open up the comments for more visibility, further discussion and more impact and penetration.

To show that I have already walked the talk, please allow me to briefly share 5 of my readers’ comments that were turned into full-blown posts on this blog. (Clicking on the highlighted titles will lead you to the full version of the post).

#1. Racial Discrimination in Southern Africa: A True Life Experience

This particular post captured the true-life story of one of my blog readers who experienced racial discrimination in Southern Africa. It was her  personal response to an earlier post of mine, namely Racism in the US Vs tribalism in Nigeria.

In the reader’s words,

“Discrimination is something that really pricks me because I have experienced it. For the life of me, I just cannot understand why people choose to look down on other people because of intangible attributes/features.

“The funny thing is that you don’t have to go as far as America to witness and feel the effect of racism. Come down to the southern part of Africa, you would see and feel it yourself. It’s more transparent in South Africa and Namibia than in other Southern African countries.”

#2. Prejudice Comes in Different Forms – A Reader’s Perspective

Racial injustice.

As the discussion on racial discrimination continued on the blog, another reader introduced a different perspective saying,

“…Being prejudiced comes in many forms and it isn’t just restricted to those who have a different skin-colour – although that is one of the more obvious forms. …All of us are prejudiced in some ways; it could be education, upbringing, intelligence, success or failure and a host of other “particulars”.

But does that mean racism is justified? The answer is No!

As the reader further expatiated, “Racial prejudice is wrong in all of it’s various forms but I fear it is a condition of the human heart regardless of our skin-colour, regardless of our education or upbringing or success or failure…

“We all are creations of our Creator, made in His image and we [are in] error if we think otherwise. And most importantly, we all need the saving Grace that God in His wisdom holds over to us, namely the acceptance and saving shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, to make us new.”

#3. Conversations With Atheists 2

victorscorner

This post captured some of the most interesting conversations I have had with some atheists on this blog. One of them claimed nature has helped his understanding of life more than the ‘man in the sky.” But he would not acknowledge that the man in the sky, so-called, is the Architect of the Universe, the One whom it was that put the natural world in place.

“God is out of touch with the world” claimed another so-called atheist. To that I responded, “It is even more appropriate to say that it is the people of the world that are losing touch of God. All men, including you, need to get know God better.” How can someone who doesn’t exist lose touch?

Yet another self-professed atheist got carried away during one of our conversations and he kept saying, God is wicked, God doesn’t love humans, God enjoys to see people suffer, etc. Really? I couldn’t hold back asking him, “How can the God you say doesn’t exist be wicked and loveless?

All these led me to surmise that many atheists are living in self-denial when they say that God doesn’t exist, because deep in their hearts they know that they are wrong.

#4. Pornography: Setting Up Defences In Our Daily Lives And Taking Them Seriously

viewing pornography

In this post, I shared the comment of a reader, who in a very frank manner, identified with the pervasive personal struggle against lust and pornography, as well as the ways to overcome them.

According to this reader, we must all understand that pornography has harmful effects on our lives, careers and family. Therefore, it should not be accepted as a normal thing in our daily living.

To deal with addiction to pornography decisively, the reader recommends that we must identify the things that trigger the desire in us and set up adequate defences against them.

Worthy of mention, is the readers suggestions that “we need to spend quality time with GOD every day, not as a to-do-list or a good christian checklist. But because God wants a relationship with us, and how do we have a relationship with anyone we never spend time with?”

#5. Being a Loving Leader Does Not Mean You Shouldn’t Hold Your Team Accountable

Being a loving leader

As a leader, you should love your team members, even when things do not go according to plan.

As one author observed, ”If you are leading anything of significance then you will regularly run into many uncertainties, obstacles, and failures. And it is the way you deal with these situations, how you handle things going wrong, that truly defines your leadership.”

And when things do go wrong, you as the leader should build a shared understanding of the root-cause of the problem through what the reader called “exploration conversations” without demoralising any member of your team.

“This approach doesn’t preclude a leader from holding people accountable for their actions. In fact, it is the opposite. If you don’t hold people accountable then you aren’t really being a loving leader.”

***

You have read some of the blog comments on this site that I turned into full-fledged posts. You can click on the embedded links to read the complete posts.

Have you ever turned a reader’s comment into a full-fledged post on your blog? Feel free to leave a feedback or reaction in the comment section below.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Turning Your Readers’ Comments To Full-Fledged Blog Posts

Treasures are useless if they are buried away in the earth. But once they are brought to the surface, they can be appropriately harnessed and put into meaningful uses.

That’s how it is with your readers’ invaluable comments; they will not be so useful to your other readers if they are not given the optimum attention they deserve.

Let me state categorically that it is very important you don’t fail to peruse your blog’s comment section. That way, (apart from responding to all the comments as appropriate), you can sift out the gems in your readers’ thoughts or the feedback left for you in print, and then give them maximum exposure.

Talking about maximum exposure, that’s what you should give to your readers’ most outstanding comments. You can do that if you would use some of your readers’ most impressive contributions to write full-blown posts on your blog.

My point is that as you explore your readers’ comments, you might come across veritable comments that could be converted to full-fledged posts.

As you already know, not everyone who reads your blog posts has the patience and time to go through all the other readers’ comments one by one. But you, as the blog author, should not fail to do that.

I strongly believe that there are many other benefits of looking at the comment section of your blog. For instance, if you thoroughly explore your readers’ comments, you will definitely be able to pick up some fresh ideas for new posts.

You may even find some comments on your blog that can be directly lifted and turned into full-fledged posts. And that’s the reason I am using this post to drum that point home.

Needless to say, I have been able to convert some of my readers’ comments into full-fledged posts a number of times on this blog. And the experiences have been great. So I will not hesitate to suggest you do the same thing on your blog.

Turning outstanding post comments to full-fledged posts opens up the comments for more visibility, further discussion and more impact.

One advantage of turning a good blog comment into a full-blown post is that the valuable information or insights shared by your readers will not be not buried or lost deep down there in the comment section.

It would be great if you can have everyone who reads your main post to also read all the blog comments generated by the post. But as I already pointed out, not all your readers will be able to quarry through the depths of the many comments on your blog to extract out the hidden gems.

You can help out occasionally by turning some of those invaluable comments into full-fledged posts. Doing so will make it more accessible to more of your readers.

In a subsequent post, I will highlight some of my readers’ comments that I successfully lifted and turned into full-blown posts on this blog.

***

What do you think of the idea of turning some outstanding comments on your blog into full-fledged posts?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

If You Are Blind, But Can You Hear?

Lessons from Blind Bartimaeus

You are not perfect – no one is. What you lack in one area of your life, you gain in another.

Just as all men do, you have some strengths and some weaknesses. But which ones do you focus more on?

Often times, you focus mostly on your weaknesses rather than on your strengths. By so doing, you fail to celebrate or properly harness your strengths to your fullest advantage.

How do I know you are not focusing on your strength?

  • You constantly think of what you don’t have instead of what you have.
  • You always bemoan what you can’t do instead of doing what you can.
  • You intentionally begrudge other people’s talent instead of harnessing yours.
  • You are regularly unhappy about the places you haven’t visited instead of celebrating the places you have visited.
  • You complain that you can’t ‘see’, but you forgot that you can ‘hear’.

While you are doing all that, you forget that time is not waiting for you. Opportunities are passing by that you could have harnessed to make your life a little better.

If that is you, then you have something to learn from the blind Bartimaeus in the Bible.

An account in the Gospel of Mark chapter 10 verse 46-47 has it that:


… and as [Jesus Christ] went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.

And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.


And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth… 

Did you see that?

When he heard…

That’s the pivotal phrase.

Victor Uyanwanne writes on lessons from blind Bartimaeus

This story wasn’t about Jesus Himself per se. It was the story of Bartimaeus, a beggarly  blind man, who could hear, who had faith, had courage, had focus, had a voice, who proved to be unstoppable, and who got his desired miracle: restoration of sight.

As you can see, there are many good things about our man Bartimaeus. But for many years, he failed to harness his strength, dwelling on his weakness (blindness).

Consequently, he became a despised roadside beggar until this documented encounter with Jesus Christ that completely turned his life around for the better.

In the mean time, I will chip in the following counsel:

  • Focus on your strength. If you use it very well, the resultant gains may cover your weakness.
  • Focus on doing what you can do and stop being so unhappy about what is beyond your capabilities.
  • Use the talent you have, and don’t kill yourself over the ones you don’t have.

Bartimaeus was blind but he could hear. He didn’t have the sight to see Jesus, but he had the ear to hear that Jesus was passing his way.

With that information, he activated his faith and his voice. And He called out to Jesus, “Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.” And he got his sight back.

So I will ask you, if you can’t see, can you hear? Harness the power of your hearing first. Who knows, like Bartimaeus you will have your sight back in the process.

1. Photo by novia wu on Unsplash.

2. Photo by Stephen Arnold on Unsplash.


Have you ever let opportunities pass you by because you were focusing on your weakness rather than on your strength?


© Copyright 2018| Victor Uyanwanne

Because We Have The Greatest Love

Love Poem by Victor Uyanwanne
Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

When I saw you the first time.
It felt like you were an angel.
Though I didn’t have much dime.
I knew our relationship will gel.

From that very day on wards
Up, everything went towards
Being with you seemed so right
And our future colourfully bright.

Together we set out on this journey
Though it may be rough and thorny
It is guaranteed us we will make it
If we have our trust in God every bit

People will see us and marvel
As God’s favours on us unravel
We will wave at them and say
It is the Lord’s doing all the way

Sure, it is marvellous in our eyes
Not because we are strong and wise
But because we have the greatest love
Poured in our hearts from high Above.

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

First published on Living Poems

7 Benefits Of Reading Other People’s Blogs

Why you should read blogs

The whole experience of blogging is not about you churning out posts after posts for people to read, to like, to comment on and to share. It is also about you reading other people’s blogs and interacting with them as much as you can.

There are many benefits you will derive by reading other people’s logs. In this post, I will highlight seven of such benefits.

7 Benefits of reading other people’s blogs


1. You learn from other people

People share ideas, experiences and insights on their blogs. They do so not for self-amusement but for you to read them. You will learn as you read those sites.

As one of my readers once stated, “What I love about blogging is taking the time to read other people’s thoughts about faith stuff as its important to get perspectives different from my own.”

Every opportunity you have to read is an opportunity to learn something new or remind you of something’s you have forgotten.

Be honest with yourself for once: you don’t know everything. That’s why you should read what other people have written on their blogs so that you can know what they know.

2. You discover new blogs to follow.

People follow your blog and you should follow other people’s blogs too. Reading other blogs will help you determine whether or not to  follow such blogs.

There are many reasons I may not have followed some blogs. But reading other people’s blogs helps me to discover suitable ones to follow.

Although there were some blogs I followed at first sight (especially the ones recommended to me), my guiding principle is that I would need to read two or three posts on any blog before I make the affirmative decision to hit the follow-button.

3. You sharpen your writing skills.

Writers do not only write, they read a lot as well. By extension, as a blogger, in addition to updating your own blog, you should also read blogs other than yours and learn from the writing styles employed by the authors of such blogs.

Personally, I learn a lot from reading other people’s posts. Just like many WordPress users, I did not attend any training on blogging before I got started. Everything I know, I have learnt from reading what other people have written and putting them into practice.

getting people to read your blog

4. You attract more followers to your blog.

“One good turn deserves another” they say. If you want people to read your posts, you too should read other people’s posts.

There is a great chance that if you add value to a blog as you read it – by leaving a comment for instance – you are likely to attract more followers to your own blog.

5. Opportunity to interact with fellow bloggers.

For you to comment on a post, you have to read it first. I would expect that you don’t want to comment on a post you haven’t read.

Essentially, a post is someone’s idea or opinion about something, somebody or some place. Your comment on the post will be your own response to it.

You could also respond to other people’s comments on the post, thereby expanding the sphere of interactions.

6. Community, fellowship and friendship.

As you interact with other bloggers, you form a kind of bond and friendship that might prove valuable to you. Some of your online or blogging friends may eventually turn into your friends in real life.

And when someone becomes your real life friend, the opportunities become limitless. I shared my little experience in this regard when I published From a blog friend to a real life friend.

7. Source of blog ideas

Apart from the new things you learn by reading other blogs, you might also receive inspiration for new posts on your blog. I have experienced this several times.

As I read other people’s blogs, there seems to be a spark of inspiration that comes from it. And I have developed many of such thoughts into full-fledged posts on this blog.


What other benefits do you get from reading blogs other than yours? Leave a comment.


© Copyright 2018| Victor Uyanwanne

From A Blog Friend To A Real Life Friend

Ufuoma E Ashobon's books
Victor with Ufuomae, proudly displaying some of the books authored by her.

I started this blog because I believed (and still believe) that I have something good to share that would be a blessing to someone out there. I also wanted to use the blogging platform to hone my writing skills.

To a very large extent, both objectives are already being achieved. But I will be the first to acknowledge that there is always room for improvement. And as I communicated in an earlier post, blogging has helped my personal development in many ways.

Over all, blogging is helping me become a better version of myself.

Another side benefit of blogging is the opportunity it has afforded me to interact online with people from across all continents of the world. In the process, I have forged many beneficial online relationships with people I am yet to meet physically.

And I know I am not the only one who has had that beautiful experience. There are bloggers who have been able to turn their blogging friends to real life friends. And it looks like I am joining that league now. Hang on, I will tell you about that in a moment…

Ufuomae (in the picture with me above), author and founder of Grace and Truth and Ufuomae’s Series Blog and Fair Life Africa was one of the earliest followers of this blog when I came on the blogosphere three years ago. Since then our interactions have continued and remained online. But all that got to change (for the better) during the week.

I have been aware that Ufuomae had published a couple of books in e-books and paperback formats. So finally I decided to place an order online for three of her books on paperbacks: The Church Girl 1&2, The House Girl and Perfect Love.

The Church Girl by Ufuomae

I was expecting the books to be delivered to me through a courier service. But I was pleasantly surprised when she contacted me to say she would deliver the books to me in person.

“Are you home today?” she asked. “I was thinking of bringing the books in person.”

Ostensibly, she only recently realised that we have been living in the same city all along.

“Oh really, you will bring the books in person?” I enthused. “Wow, it will be such an honour to finally meet you in person.”

Being someone I admire a lot, it had crossed my mind on several occasions that I would one day meet this passionate Christian blogger in person. But I had thought I would be the one to go look for her.

You can now see why I was feeling so excited to have her come look for me. The experience was wonderful for me. It would not be wrong to say I count it as one of the most important moments in my blogging journey.

And at the end of the day, this was how Ufuomae herself on her Instagram handle captured her experience of meeting me physically for the first time:

It was really lovely to meet you in the flesh @Victor_Uyanwanne! Wow 😎 This world is small… I think I first discovered your blog, VictorsCorner in 2015, and I was super pleased to find another African representing Christ on the blogosphere and doing it so unashamedly 😉 It was a while before I realised that you were Nigerian too 😁

The biggest surprise came when you ordered three of my books, and I learnt you actually live and work in Lagos!!! But the biggest biggest surprise was realising that you’re actually a BIG FAN of mine 😲 Wow, you made me feel like a real celebrity today 😎 thank you! It was nice getting to know you in the flesh, and I hope to learn more from you too.

Shout out to your office colleagues! Let them head over to books.ufuomaee.org and start ordering their own books.

(Yes, she met with some of my colleagues at work too. And they were pleased to meet with her as well).

Let me end this post with my response to Ufuomae’s Instagram post shown above, with the assurance that she and I have moved from being just blog friends to real life friends.

You made my day. It was my pleasure meeting you… in real life. Wow… Thank you so so much for everything. You are as fantastic in real life as you are online, even more.

Yea, it’s true I ordered your books.. The good part, noooo, the great part is that you graciously autographed them for me. You are doing great [in your blogging journey]. And I know you will do more. Just keep the flag flying. I will be there to cheer you on.

Victor Uyanwanne


Have you ever had anyone you met through your blog become your real life friend? I look forward to reading your experience in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Prayer For My Country

Prayer for my country

I felt patriotic on my nation’s 58th Independence Day celebration. Here is my prayer for the country as she turned another page in history.


Nigeria my country, may you arise and shine. May your divine purpose on earth be established and may you overcome all hindrances to your greatness.

May your strength increase and may you take your deserved place in the comity of nations.

May you be delivered from the chains of corruption and may responsible leaders rise up from every part of you to pilot your affairs.

May terrorism within your borders be consigned to your past and may your people dwell in safety.

May peace and tranquility rain in every of your quarters.

May you grow in leaps and bounds in physical and infrastructural development. May your inhabitants be filled with milk and honey.

May your citizens seek and know you in truth and in spirit. May all your sons and daughters be called blessed.

May all those who are against you be defeated before your eyes. May nations come to you for help and may your store house never run dry.

May your latter glory surpass the former. And may you shine and shine brighter till eternity.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Finding The Courage To Move On

You said you loved me with all your heart.
And you made me many promises for a start.
So I loved and trusted you as a thorough-bred.
Having faith in the future I thought we shared.

But before the very future began to unfold.
Before our relationship became months old.
Many ugly things about you began to surface.
One after another, right before my innocent face.

I thought I could handle them very well at first
Wishing that what we shared would not waste.
But you consistently proved to be irredeemable
For awful reasons that still remain inscrutable

“I am human after all,” you always claim
That I know, so I apportioned no blame
Thinking that since…

Continue reading via my Living Poems blog.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

6 Good Things About The Negative Criticisms You Get On Your Blog

Negative criticisms of your blog
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

You will get criticised whatever you do. Blogging is not an exception to that fact of life.

You cannot stop people from criticising you in your blogging journey. But while constructive criticisms are good and welcome, negative criticisms are bitter pills to swallow.

And no matter how bitter the pill of criticisms can be, there are times you have to accept and swallow them as they are, even if it means frowning your face doing it.

The truth is, there is always room for improvement. That’s why you should assess every criticism to extract whatever might be good in it, with a view to improving your life.

As much as you love what you do, not everyone will love you for it. While some people may be indifferent  about your blogging activities, there are some other people that will come against you with harsh criticisms as feedback. But that you face some negative feedback doesn’t mean you should quit on your blog’s mission.

It certainly means you should find the best ways to handle the negative criticisms that confront you in such a way that they become beneficial to you.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Charles R. Swindoll

The question is, can there be anything beneficial in negative criticisms? I will say yes!

In this post, I will show you six good things about the negative criticisms you get on your blog:

1. Criticisms show you are being noticed.

There are millions of blogs out there. So if someone takes the time to pass a critical comment on your blog, it shows that you are gaining some visibility. Or would you rather be ignored?

2. There is some thing to learn from every criticism.

No matter how cantankerous your readers get while commenting on your blog, try not to be offended. Put a positive construction on whatever criticisms you get, because you will learn something good from it if you handle it properly.

Criticisms may cause your emotions to flare up. Learn to avoid that trap and you will be better positioned to learn something from the criticism that will make your blogging experience better.

3. Criticisms are part of your personal growth process.

You have heard the saying that if people throw stones at you, you should gather them to build a monument. You can apply that principle in blogging too.

When people throw the stones of negative criticisms at you, use them to build up yourself. In order words, don’t allow criticisms to tear you down. And specifically, do not quit on your blogging mission simply because you are being criticised.

4. Criticisms give you opportunity to be nice.

Some people have never been kind in their lives. So don’t expect them to start with your blog. When they attack you with harsh words on your blog, don’t respond to them fire for fire. Show them you are made of better stuff by responding to them as lovingly and as nicely as you can be.

Some bloggers will go the easy way of deleting negative comments on their blog, but if you do so, you would lose the opportunity of responding to someone in a way that might influence his or her life positively.

5. Criticisms make you not to rest on your oars.

Complacency may set in if you never get criticised in what you do or if all you get are only praise words.

The points of criticism you receive, if properly evaluated can be helpful to you in attaining higher grounds.

6. Some critics come as friends in disguise

Ultimately, you will get to realise that not everyone who criticises you are against you. Some are friends who wanted to help but didn’t know to frame their words better.

In dealing properly with negative criticisms, you will get to learn that some people who oppose you might turn out to become your allies.


So don’t scare people off when they leave comments you don’t like on your blog. Try your best to follow them to their own blogs. Read their posts and make valuable comments. Sooner or later, you will earn their respect.


Do you think the criticisms you receive on your blog are beneficial?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

You Don’t Care If No One Reads Your Blog, Really?

getting people to read your blog

I’m certainly not the only one who has come across a few blogs whose authors claim they write for only themselves, that they don’t care if no one reads their blogs.

Really? How is that so? And I hope you are not like that?

If you don’t expect to be read, why do you have a blog? Or better still, why did you index your blog as ‘public’ instead of as “private”?

Doesn’t it sound unbelievable to say that you write a blog and you don’t care if people read it or not?

Just think about it for a minute. You don’t want something to be found, yet you display it in the open sunshine, publicly?

I know you are not like that, so let’s get it straight.

You should expect your blog to be read. That’s the minimum you deserve once you have taken the pain to increase the number of blogs on the blogosphere by setting up one and publishing on it.

It does not make common sense to say that you started your blog without caring if anyone reads it or not. Enough of that self-deception!

The mere fact that you published something online is proof enough that you would want it read.

Cristian Mihai of The Art of Blogging avers that it is a false statement for anyone to say that, “I write for myself. I don’t care if anyone reads my blog.”

His argument is that “If you weren’t interested in [having] readers, then you would write all your stuff on your computer, in a notepad, [and] keep it all under your bed or in a closet.”

That sounds funny but it is true. The moment you publish something online, you can be sure that some people will find it to read it.

So stop saying you don’t care if people read your posts or not because we know you care. If you don’t really care, then you should shut down your blog.

What do you think?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

How Blogging Helps Your Personal Development

Benefits of blogging

One of the many side-benefits of blogging is that it will lead to your personal growth. I say that because I have experienced personal development in many areas of my life since I took up blogging as a hobby and an avenue to interact with the rest of the world in written form.

Apart from being a veritable platform to share my thoughts and experiences with the world, I have also now realised that blogging is for personal development.

In this post, I will show you several ways blogging has helped me in personal development. If you have been blogging for a while, I am sure you will identify with some of the benefits on the list.

Otherwise, feel free to extend the conversation by sharing your own experience in the comment section.

8 ways blogging has helped me in personal development


1. Blogging has made me wiser and more knowledgeable.

As a blogger, you don’t only write posts, you read other peoples posts as well. You also find yourself researching on areas of your interest. As you do all that you will pick up plenty of wisdom and knowledge.

Apart from sharing your own thoughts, a huge part of blogging involves learning from other people through what they have written.

A reader of this blog agrees with that when he stated that “… blogging is strongest in the realm of knowledge and understanding. You can gain a great deal of insight into how people think from the vast number of personalities spread across the many forums.”

2. Blogging has made me a better writer

Writing is not blogging. But blogging is writing and more. And the more I blog, the more I write and the better I become at it.

I have not arrived yet, but I know I have improved on my written communication skill since I took up blogging. For someone whose first language is not English, blogging has definitely paid-off in helping to hone my writing talent.

So if you consider yourself an aspiring writer, blogging is one step you should take in that direction.

As one commenter on this blog once stated, “I believe that blogging can definitely be helpful in achieving personal development goals. Not only with getting to develop yourself by writing out your thoughts and beliefs and helping yourself grow from laying it all there. But, you also get thousands and thousands of examples and lessons to learn from other bloggers in the community.”

Blog mission

3. Blogging has strengthened my ability to handle negative criticisms.

Believe it or not you will have fun blogging. But at the same time, you will face some negative backlashes. The fact that you are getting criticised shows that you getting noticed. Or would you rather be ignored?

I don’t know about you, but as for me, I have never faced as much criticisms and negative attacks in life as much as I have faced in my short blogging journey. I am okay with the fact that not everyone will agree with my points of view. But it degenerates to a negative experience when some people become abusive or unnecessarily annoying with their comments on my blog.

That doesn’t mean I should shut down the blog. But it certainly means I should find the best ways to handle the negative criticisms.

And I do that by learning from the criticisms,  responding in love rather than with hate, trying not to be offended and by staying focused on the bigger picture  – refusing to give up.

I already talked about that when I advised that despite the challenges you might face along your blogging journey, you should not quit on your blog’s mission.

4. Blogging has improved my interpersonal relationship skills.

I am sure you have encountered some internet trolls whose stock-in-trade is to post “inflammatory and digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages” on your blog. To be honest, they are not fun to deal with, and I have encountered a couple of them! But I would say I am doing better now in handling such people than when I started blogging.

I have learnt the hard way! I am not saying I have arrived. But both online and offline, I have improved on the way I relate with people on the blogosphere.

Blogging has taught me to be more patient, more gracious, and more understanding with people.

Some people may behave nasty to you, that’s their cup of tea.  You have to be nice. It may not be easy, but don’t give up before trying.

5. Blogging increased my discipline with time management.

Just like many people, I have many times been guilty of wasting my free (valuable) time doing not-so-productive things (eg watching TV) and procrastinating on doing worthwhile things. But blogging has  helped me use my spare time more productively.

As blogger, you write a lot. And you need to read wide as well. You need to discipline yourself more with the time at your disposal to achieve these two goals.

6. Blogging has enriched me spiritually.

In a way, blogging has assisted in my spiritual growth. As some one whose opinions are largely based on Biblical worldview, I read several Christian blogs whose authors have continued to impress me with their deep insights and teaching of God’s word.

In that process, I have been fed with the truths of God’s word in ways that have left me spiritually uplifted. So if you are keen on your spiritual growth, be aware that blogging can help you in that area.

7. Blogging has taught me Web-designing

If you had any web-designing skill before starting your blog, could you raise your hand please?

Well, congratulations if that’s you! As for me, I had zippo idea about web designing prior to when my blog was set up.

Setting up my blog was my first experience. Thanks to WordPress’s menu-driven processes, I can set up a functional blog for you if you want.

Before I started blogging, I had thought web development was not my thing; that it was meant for only programmers or those who have a working knowledge of markup languages such as HTML and CSS.

But now having successfully designed my own blogs and a few for other people, I am convinced I would not have known web designing if not for blogging? So you see what I mean?

8. Blogging has increased my creativity

I have found that there is an improvement in my mental creativity  as a result of blogging. That’s hardly surprising because, you find that in writing blog posts, you have to be imaginative, you brain-storm on topics to blog about, you engage in meaningful conversations and so on.

That’s because creativity involves “the use of imagination or original ideas to create something.” And both imagination and originality are familiar concepts in blogging.


You have read my experience. And hopefully, you were able to observe that beyond being a form of self-expression, blogging has become an avenue for personal development for me in many ways.

My knowledge in many fields, places and people has increased through blogging. I hone my writing skills as I write posts after posts. I am being more productive with my spare time,  and I am now more self-confident than ever with blogging.

Over all, blogging is helping me become a better version of myself. I am not saying all this to draw attention to myself. Rather I am just trying to show you how blogging can help you in your personal development journey using my own experience as a case study.

I will like to hear your own story in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

On Forgiveness

Revenge

1. God has forgiven your offences. He expects you to forgive other people too.

2. Unforgiveness is a big weight. Free yourself from it or else you may get crushed under it.

3. Happiness and unforgiveness don’t mix. Between the two, you have the power to choose the one you prefer.

4. You have the capacity to forgive anyone who offends you. No need pretending otherwise.

5. Forgive yourself. If you cannot forgive yourself hardly can you forgive others.

6. No matter what anyone has done against you, find a reason to forgive.

7. Forgiveness is a gift. You can give it even when someone doesn’t deserve it.

8. In the long run, forgiveness is sweeter than revenge.


Any comment?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

In the Dead of the Night

In the dead of the night

In the dead of one rainy night
He crept into my room uninvited
Pinning me down to the bed very tight
He began to do what his body wanted.

This has become a regular ritual
That I’ve come to endure every night
The act has never been consensual
Utterly bruised, I’ve lost the will to fight

One night I wanted to run away and shout
But he threatened to kill me if I dare
Or have me immediately thrown out
Unless I yielded to him with my body bare.

He forced his hard-self deep inside of me
Just as he….

Read the complete poem on my Living Poems Blog

See also the successor poem: In the dead of the night, again

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Blogging For Personal Development

A few people have had cause to ask me, “Victor, are you making money from your blog?” The simple answer I always gave is “No.”

When I started this blog, money making was never part of the objective. And it isn’t till this point in time.

But that does not in any way suggest that I am totally against monetising the blog. I am simply saying it is not part of the plan, at least not yet.

You may be a professional blogger, but I am not. So how you see blogging may not be exactly how I see it.

Writing this blog is a hobby I engage in outside my full time job. And like I already stated, I am not making any income from it.

My bills and those of my family are taken care of from income from paid employment. So what is in it for me in this blogging journey?

I would say a lot: more than I had initially anticipated and definitely much more than time and space would allow me delve into in this short post.

From the outset of my blogging journey, I wanted to share my thoughts on the issues of life with anyone who would care to read. I was convinced that what I had to share could make life better for someone out there – one way or another.

To a large extent, that objective is being achieved. The feedback I get from my readers and critics alike convince me of that.

And for that I’m very grateful also encouraged to keep the blogging flag flying higher. As you can see, I am not about to quit on my blog mission.

However, beyond sharing my thoughts and being a blessing to my readers, blogging has become a journey of personal development for me. By that I mean my life has been improved in many ways since I took up blogging as a hobby.

I have learnt new things, improved on my writing skills, acquired new skills, met and interacted with different kinds of people from different places around the world – including avowed atheists.

I have inspired some people and I have also been inspired by many other people. I have defended my faith, read several insightful posts, gained vast knowledge in many areas of life and so on and so forth.

And I am still developing!

Now you have an idea of what I have been talking about!

Right? Yes, thank you.

In a subsequent post, I will expasiate on the many ways blogging has helped my personal development. Thank you for reading.


Do you agree that blogging is helpful in achieving personal development goals?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

When You Are Interviewed By A Parenting Blog

I recently got featured as a blog’s Parent of the Month. That happens to be the first real interview I would ever grant to any website.

I have the permission of the blog author to share the interview with you here. Enjoy it.


Aspiring Writer, Husband, Father… Parent of the Month

Welcome to our Parentinggist parent of the month. Let’s meet our guest.

My name is Victor Uyanwanne, husband to Jennifer, father of two energetic boys and an aspiring writer.

Great, can you throw more light on your writing.

For the past three years, I have been publishing posts bothering on life and living, family issues, blogging tips, poetry and many other things that tickle my fancy. My purpose is to inspire people and equip them with the right knowledge that will help them live happier.

Being a follower of Jesus Christ, the thoughts on my blogs are presented from a Christian worldview. If you want to read my writings first hand, they can be accessed via Victors’ Corner

Awesome blog, you’ve got, how do you combine your regular job, writing and family?

Thanks for the compliment. I will say, I am combining effectively well. I take my job seriously and I put in my best all the time.

Reading and writing are my top hobbies so I have fun doing both, especially at night after work and on weekends. Except because of Lagos traffic bottlenecks, anyone here should have plenty of time after work (from the close of work at 5pm daily to whenever he or she goes to bed) to do some personal things. That’s how I find time to hone my writing skills.

As for the family, I will give all the credit to my beautiful wife for holding forth strongly at the home front. She is really a gift from heaven to me; a helpmeet indeed.

Having said that, I will add that as much as possible I try to spend much time with my family whenever I’m not at work. And I usually cut out unnecessary outings. I don’t know about you, for me, family time is fun time and best time. I have two very inquisitive boys. Answering their numerous questions and bonding with them through mutual interactions have been one of my greatest pleasures as a dad.

We would like you to share some of the numerous questions from your boys, I’m sure we would benefit from them too or laugh it out.

I have had my boys asking me scores of questions. And many of those questions I answered correctly without much ado. Yet there were ones I had to think twice before answering.

For instance, one of them once asked me, “Daddy, why do we have ten fingers?” How does one answer that? Please help me out (smiles).

When they asked, “Daddy, what is the baby of a horse called?” I am ashamed to say that I had to quickly check “Google” on my smartphone before I could tell them it’s called “a foal.”

Of all the questions my boys have ever asked me, the one that impressed me most was when the older boy (then 4years plus) asked me how he could be able to make it to Heaven at the end of this life. I must say it was my privilege to lead him to Christ that Christmas morning.

Oh this is wonderful, I must say, so what advice do you have for parents who are reading this; how can we lead our kids to make Heaven?

Parents should share the simple truths of the gospel with their children and allow them to make up their mind about receiving Jesus Christ into their lives. It is not something that can be forced.

In addition, parents should always pray for their children, that they receive the Lord and follow His way. In my boy’s case, I had prayed for him even before he turned 2 years old that he would get to be born again before the age of eight. Fortunately for me, it happened much earlier than expected.

One other thing I will add is that parents should by their conducts show good examples to their children. Children are good observers and they learn alot from their parents. If we want our children to be candidates of heaven, we should not live our lives as candidates of hell.

Thank you so much for honouring our invitation.

You are welcome. The pleasure is mine.

P.S: The interview was originally published on ParentingGist blog.


What do you think?

Introducing My Living Poems Blog

Christian poems

In case you have not yet noticed, I have started another blog called, Living Poems. It is a blog I am dedicating to exploring the poetic side of me.

In other words, the blog will center squarely on poetry or inspired lines as I would like to call them. It promises to be very inspiring…

The blog will document my poems in one place. Before now, my contributions to poetry on the blogosphere were posted in the poems sub category here on Victors’ Corner.

However, the poems train has now moved to my Living Poems blog. Some of my latest poems have been published there already and more are still loading…

So if you have been following me here on Victors’ Corner, kindly join me on Living Poems as well. New followers are welcomed too! Let us explore our poetic gifts together.

However, the Poetry corner of Victors’ Corner will continue to exist; the poems there will not be deleted. But the news ones will first be posted on Living Poems before they would be mirrored here (if need be).

Right now, the living poems blog is beginning to gaining some tractions already. Thanks to all the first visitors to the blog.

As I am writing this post, a notification for the first five likes has dropped in. Let’s just say I am heralding that little beginning here.

Living poems

The poems posted on the new blog will be a blessing to you. Some of them will make you laugh, others will make you want to cry and angry at the same time.

But they will leave you inspired in the end. They are nary ordinary poems because they are inspired lines from Above.

As  you read them, feel free to share them with your friends, like them or drop your comments. Apart from sharing the value with someone else, you would also make my day by doing so.

And if you have any good poetry blog to recommend to me, feel free to do so. It will be my pleasure to check them out.

Thank you for your time. You may now follow me to Living Poems blogs .

Victors' Uyanwanne's poem site

 

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

 

2 Simple Reasons You Should Continue To Be A Good Boy (or Girl)

What does it mean to be a good boy (or girl)?

Being a good boy (or girl) involves obeying rules, treating other people with respect, not being lazy, helping out around the house, maintaining healthy habits, being studious, volunteering, not doing drugs, and so on and so forth.

Cast your mind back to when you were growing up. Your parents would always say to you to be a good boy (or girl) whenever they were concerned about your behaviours.

And in most cases you cooperated with them, even though there were times you fell short of their expectations.

You know how proud you made them feel whenever you made the right choices! They felt honoured!

That is to say, being a good boy (or girl) is one of the ways you can show that you hold your parents in high esteem.

As you well know, your parents don’t want you doing things that may embarrass your family. They are genuinely interested in you having good conducts, protecting you from harming yourself and others.

Apart from the pain your misbehaviours may cause to your parents, to you and to other people around you, you dishonour your parents (and your family) each time you engage in unwholesome activities.

Bearing that in mind, I assume you tried your best to be a good boy (or girl) when you were growing up. Now that you are fully grown and independent, do you think you should stop being a good boy (or girl)?

Honouring your parents

I bet you don’t want to do that – for two reasons:

You don’t want to break your parents’ hearts at old age.

No matter how old your parents might have become, they still want you to keep being a good kid.

And no matter how fully grown or independent you might have become, your parents still don’t you to be involved in activities that may hurt you. They love you that much!

If you don’t honour them by making right choices in your life, their hearts will ache over you and you may end up sending them to an early grave.

Even if your parents, like mine, have gone to the great beyond, still honour their memories by continuing to be a good kid in their absence.

Remember this also: besides our earthly parents, we are also accountable to a heavenly Father. So you don’t want to do anything that will impede your relationship with Him.

You want to leave a good legacy for yourself.

Come to think of it: it’s your life, you can live it the way you want. But remember that whatever you do with it is the legacy you will leave for yourself, for your children and for posterity.

That makes it imperative for you to continue to behave well, making the right choices and being a good boy (or girl).

Don’t wait for someone to force it on you. Be intentional about it. Show some commitment to making the right choices in life. And continue to be a good boy or girl.


What does being a good boy (or girl) mean to you? Share your view in the comment section.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Simple Ways Being Grateful For Your Parents Can Influence Your Attitude Towards Them

 

Gratitude

A recent little survey on Facebook revealed (amongst other things) many christians are most grateful for two things:

  • Their salvation in Christ; and
  • Their parents.

In a previous post, I suggested five ways being grateful for your salvation can impact your life. Let’s go a step further by having a look at:

Some of the ways your attitude towards your parents can be influenced if you are truly grateful for them:

1. You will have time for them

Never say, “I don’t have time for my parents.” Create the time for them…

Your parents spent their life, health and wealth caring for you. Now that you are independent, don’t abandon them.

No matter how busy you might have become in your life, make out time for your parents. Call them regularly. Visit with them, with your spouse and grandchildren.

As you know, grandparents always adore their grandchildren. So give them that pleasure before they leave this earth.

2. You will give them gifts.

When was the last time you ever gave any gifts to your parents? They don’t have to be in need before you can buy anything of value for them.

Within your capacity, you can present beautiful gifts to your parents – no matter how little. That’s one way you can show them you love and appreciate them.

Gifts have a way of communicating some lovely things from you to the recipient: “You mean alot to me”. “I appreciate you so much.” “You are always on my mind.” “I’ve not forgotten you.” “I celebrate you.”

If you are truly grateful for your parents, learn to give them gifts. You will experience a fresh dose of happiness by do doing so.

3. Provide for their needs

Aside giving gifts to your parents, be actively involved in meeting their pressing needs.

As your parents’ age, they might gradually become unable to meet their basic needs without help. Whatever they lack, you can provide it for them to the best of your ability.

Their daily supplies. Medical care etc, whatever their needs might be, you should find a way of being of assistance to them.

Even if they are very okay – not needing any help – still find a way to be part of their lives. You owe them that honour.

Remember what the Bible says, “”Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise”” (Ephesians 6:2).

4. You will forgive their offences against you

Your parents are not perfect. They might have made choices in the past that affected you negatively. But that doesn’t mean you should hold it against them forever.

My simple advice is that you have to forgive whatever wrong your parents might have done against you in the past,. Apart from improving the relationship between you and them, it is good for your health too.

One sure way to deprive yourself of happiness is to hold grudges against your parents – refusing to forgive them.

5. You will continue to “be a good boy”

Your parents would always say to you to be a good boy (or girl) whenever they were concerned about your behaviours. And in most cases you always cooperated with them.

Now that you are grown, do you think you should stop being a good boy (or girl)? I bet you don’t want to do that – for two reasons:

  • You don’t want to break your parents heart at old age.
  • You want to leave a good legacy for yourself.

I hope that with those few points of mine, I have been able to show you some simple ways you can show your parents that you love and appreciate them.

In what other ways do you think you can demonstrate that you are grateful to your parents for the role they played in your life? Leave a comment.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

5 Good Ways Being Grateful For Your Salvation Will Impact Your Life

Everyone alive has something he or she should be grateful for. From the mundane to the sublime, there is always a reason to be thankful.

As followers of Jesus Christ, let’s relate that to our attitude towards the free gift of salvation we received from Above.

Many of us would say that our salvation is what we are most grateful for in this life. And that’s a great thing!

Jesus Himself taught that our greatest joy should be that our names are written in Heaven (See Luke 10:20). So it is well in order to feel immensely grateful to God for our salvation and also allow that joyful attitude to reflect in our daily living.

But do we really live our lives daily in a way that demonstrates that we truly appreciate our salvation? Are we as joyful as we should be?

Probably not! That’s why I am writing this post, because I’m convinced some of us are falling behind expectation in that regard.

Sometimes we are immensely grateful we are saved. Some other times we don’t even seem to remember we are saved. So we go about our lives not reflecting the attitude of gratitude both before God and our fellow man or woman.

It is my believe that if we are constantly thankful to God for the free gift of salvation we received in Christ, it will positively impact on the way we respond to God and the way we treat other people.

In this post, I will highlight five ways being grateful for your salvation will impact your life positively.

5 ways you will be positively impacted if you constantly feel grateful for your salvation

1. You will find it easier to live a life of gratitude, irrespective of your estate in life.

You have the capacity for gratitude that does not depend on your external circumstances. But the question is, “Are you using it towards God and your fellow humans?”

The Bible tells us that “In all things, we should give thanks to God.” That’s a way of saying you should always maintain a heart of gratitude.

I am not saying it will be easy to do. But it is something that can be done, even when life doesn’t go the way you want it.

As someone pointed out, “It is not everything that happens that is the will of God. But it is the will of God that you should give thanks to God no matter what happens.”

Being grateful for our salvation

2. You will live to please God rather than yourself or anyone else.

When you appreciate your salvation as something you could never achieve by your best efforts, but which God delivered to you undeservedly, it becomes imperative that you focus on pleasing the One Who got you saved in the first place.

God paid the highest price for your salvation so He deserves to get your highest love, greatest pleasure and deepest loyalty.

Before you were saved, you were living for yourself and for the devil.

Once you have been saved, you should begin to live your life to the glory of God. Always being grateful for your salvation will help you in that regard.

3. You will love other people more

When you love God with all your heart, loving other people becomes a less difficult challenge.

At salvation, you received the love of God in your heart. This love that has been shared abroad in your heart is what enables you to love other people, whether they are lovely or unlovely.

If you don’t value your salvation, you will underestimate the need to love other people with the same love God has loved you with.

4. You will not live a hopeless life

Hopelessness is a consequence of not having any expectation for a future good. But in Christ, you are guaranteed of a good future.

God has promised to bring you to an expected end. A glorious one!

Our salvation is not an end in itself. It is the restoration of our relationship with God here on earth and it points us to a more glorious future.

As a saved person you have hope in this world and in the world to come. You will not lose sight of that if you are someone that always appreciates your salvation.

Apostle Paul argues that, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable” 1 Corrinthians 15:19.

Because of your salvation in Christ, you have been born into a living hope that extends beyond this world into a glorious eternity.

5. Your faith will be strengthened

Ingratitude will drain your strength! But gratitude will empower you.

The greatest thing God did for mankind is sending Jesus to die for the salvation of the world. This singular act coupled with your positive response to it by faith is what afforded you the benefit/hope of eternal salvation.

If you appreciate this on a personal level, it will strengthen your faith in God and in the belief in His willingness to answer your prayers.

Just like Apostle Paul, you will reason that , “He [God] who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” Romans 8:32, NASB


In what other ways do you feel being grateful for your salvation in Christ will positively impact your life?


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

What Are You Grateful For?

There is a saying in Nigeria that if you look carefully within or around you, you will definitely find something to be thankful for.

In other words, everyone has one reason or another to feel some sense of gratitude.

Look within you or around you.  Look back over the course of your life… l believe you should find some reasons to be grateful.

I dare say that it would not be correct for you to say there is nothing about you to be grateful for. So please don’t even go there…

Recently on my Facebook page, I asked this simple question:

Victor Uyanwanne asks a question on gratitude

The responses I received to that question are what I present to you in this post, with the hope that you too will join in the conservation aimed at identifying the things you are most grateful for in your life.

Interestingly, I didn’t have this post in mind when I asked that question. But as I examined the feedback I received, I began to feel the need to use them as basis to write this post.

The following points are the feedback I received from 4 respondents as the things they are grateful for:

1. My salvation. My parents for being there in my formative years. And many other things;

2. For God’s elaborate salvation plan that included me.

3. My salvation, and other priceless gifts too numerous to mention!

4. The legacy bequeathed me by my dad and mom.

All the responses came from very mature people (all of them over 50 years of age each). I would take that to mean that they know what they were talking about.

From the responses of these friends on Facebook, I was able to see that there are majorly two things they are grateful for:

1. For the salvation they have;

2. For the roles their parents played in their lives.

If necessary, I will explore this two reasons in subsequent blog posts. But here, let us just continue the conversation by having you identify what you are grateful for in life.


See also: What is your greatest joy in life?


Are you ready? Let me set the ball rolling.

Just like the above respondents, I am grateful to God for the salvation of my soul. But I’m more grateful that it happened early enough in life for me.

I gave my heart to God before my fourtheenth birthday. This has helped me in so many ways…

It helped me to form my values based on the word of God, shapened and steered my character – as a teenager then – in the right directions.

With my heart already dedicated to God, I found it easier to overcome peer pressure and other teenage vices that would have certainly led me in the wrong direction in life – away from God.

The core values that were instilled in me at that stage of life, have continually proved very useful in my adult life. For that I’m very grateful.

Let me not make this post about me only. It should be about all of us. So permit me to ask you the same question:

Looking back over your life these past years, what are the things you are most grateful for?

Kindly provide your answer in the comment section and thank you in advance for participating.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Has Your Blog Post Ever Spoken To You Personally?

You can learn from your own post too!

Many of us bloggers sometimes make the mistake of thinking that we are writing only to people other than ourselves; that our posts help our readers more than they help us the writers.

But that may not always be the case. The posts we publish can be a blessing to us as much as it is to our readers. They can address our needs as much as they address the needs of other people.

Your blog posts should interest you. They should minister to you if you want them to minister to other people too.

That’s why I’m asking you: have you ever had your blog speaking to you personally?

In other words, have you ever learnt any lesson reading your own blog post?

That seems a fair question to ask, because if you are not learning anything from your own blog post, how are your readers supposed to learn from it?

I know from my own experience that most of the things I write on this blog often speak to me directly before they speak to my readers.

Apart from what I learn from other people’s posts, I learn from my own posts too!

The interesting part is that even months down the line, I could still find some of those posts addressing a particular need in my own life.

That was the experience I had recently. I am ashamed to say it now but I had a heated conversation with my wife.

“Over what” you may ask? Finances, aka money!

So that was it? Yea, yea…

Is money ever enough? Well, may be when we become billionaires. Smiles 😀

Just kidding…

But seriously, we had some issues at hand: Our combined income for the month would barely be enough to accommodate ‘everything’ we wanted. No extras…

Futhermore, we couldn’t quite agree with the direction of our expenses for the following month. Our budget has to be a bit tightened due to some midyear obligations that needed to be settled.

But in a bid to have them resolved, our individual tempers flared up… Between each of us, we knew we raised our voices louder than normal.

You can hold me responsible for that. But I’m grateful to God we are both calmer now.

Just like many new couples would have experienced, this was not the first time finance and budgeting issues have come between us. And even though we always navigated our ways out of it, how come this kind of reality sometimes heat us hard in the face?

I mean, I love my wife and she loves me too. We both know it… We are eternally committed to each other. But how come we still disagree?

We are humans, imperfect humans. We are different in many ways.

We are still learning…Don’t you know that already?

Okay. That’s right!

Married couples do face challenges. Is there anyone here who doesn’t know that by now?

Well, there are bound to be issues in any relationship – be it marriage or not. But it is how we handle those issues that matters.

This was where echoes from a previous post of mine – Towards a better marriage: your spouse is not the problemreverberated loudly in my ears:

A problem is a problem and your spouse is your spouse. Please don’t mistake one for another.

I had advised my readers in that post:

“Next time you have any marital issue, be sure to remind yourself that your spouse is not the problem. Identify what the issue is and focus on tackling it. That way you will achieve a healthier method of resolution than blaming your spouse.”

In this case, I knew exactly what the problem was. And it was not my wife!

During marital problems, identify what the issue is and focus on tackling it. Don’t trade blames [with your spouse. It will backfire].

It finally felt like I was talking to my point of need as well. And I was…

As I said before, ministry to self before ministry to others! I get it: my blog post has spoken to me personally once again!

Here is an excerpt from the post that came back hunting me:

Your Spouse Is Not The Problem

Just like every married couple might have come to realise, I am sure you already know that marriage is not a bed full of roses only. It is full of plenty challenges as well.

Isn’t that pretty obvious?

More often than not, it is how you handle these challenges that will go to a large extent to determine the success and happiness or otherwise of your marital experience.

The common saying that as you make your bed, so you will lie on it holds true in marriage relationships too.

Except you are married to the devil personified, I am free to say that your spouse is not the problem. So resist the temptation to see him or her as one.

Put in proper perspective, you will realise that the challenges you have in marriage are things or issues, not a person – and definitely not your spouse!

For instance, the problem could be the manner your spouse is handling an issue at hand, or it may also be the manner you are reacting to it. Either way, you must [realise] that the problem is not a person.

A vital key to amicably resolving the challenges is to learn to focus on tackling the issue at hand rather than putting the blame on a person – your partner. You may have been hurt by what your spouse said or did at some point, but the problem is still not your spouse.

“I love you but I hate how you treat me sometimes,” a thoughtful wife once said to her husband.

You’ve got the point? Identify what the issue is and deal with it [accordingly].

A problem is a problem and your spouse is your spouse. Please don’t mistake one for another.


Which of your blog post has ever spoken to you personally? You can paste the link in the comment section. I promise to check it out and leave you a feedback.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Adultery Will Cost You!

Fidelity in marriage

Marriage is a special institution established by God for His glory and for the enjoyment of mankind. And we are expected to treat the institution honourably.

Unfortunately, many people have been dishonouring their marriages by not protecting the sanctity of the marital unions as necessary.

Part of the requirements for safeguarding the sanctity of marriage is marital fidelity.

I do not mean to suggest that fidelity in marriage guarantees that a marriage will be happy and successful. But I can state categorically that marital infidelity is a sure way to destroy a marriage or make it fail.

It is required that in marriage, spouses should be faithful to their partners with their bodies. But what do we see sometimes amongst married people?

Adultery – willful sexual relationship with someone else other than your spouse!

Adultery is a grievous sin first before God and then before your marriage partner. Yet, some people engage in it without caring about the consequences.

Beyond the seeming pleasure derived from adultery, alot of pain is caused by it.

Anyone who commits adultery is playing with fire, and should not be surprised if the fire consumes him or her.

Here is a question from someone who seriously contemplated the danger of adultery:

Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Proverbs 6:27

The answer is no! You cannot put the fire of adultery on your lap and expect not to get hurt!

Marital infidelity

Here are additional warning against adultery from the book of Proverbs (NLT):

26 For a prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life

28 Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? 29 So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished…

32 But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself (Emphasis mine).

As a follower of God, you will have known from the Bible that adultery is a serious sin, with eternal implications…

But beyond that, no one will deny that adultery has terrible consequences to the perpetrators and to the people along their paths.

Adultery damages nearly every relationship around it, including the extended family. Forgetting the goodness and mercy of God by giving in to immediate impulse and physical passion brings self-inflicted consequences to the body and soul… Ross Rhoads, Adultery – A Heartbreaking Sin

The following consequences might result from adultery:

  • Loss of reputation
  • Fear of being caught
  • Emotional pains
  • Divorce
  • Financial liability
  • Death
  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases
  • Unwanted pregnancy/Child
  • Distrust
  • Guilt
  • Loss of job, etc.

Talking about loss of job, that was what happened recently to a university professor in Nigeria. He was dismissed by his employers over a confirmed allegation of sexual misconduct.

Earlier in the year, a recorded conversation between the professor in question and one of his female students went viral in the social media circle in the country.

On that leaked audio, the randy professor was caught on tape soliciting sex from the post-graduate student in exchange for pass marks.

Following the public outcry over the sex-for-mark scandal, the school authority launched an investigation into the allegation.

The preliminary investigation found the professor guilty of the allegation, prima facie, and this led to the accused professor being suspended. However, the professor was later sacked upon the conclusion of necessary investigations.

One reputable media source reported that the Professor “was found to be liable for all allegations of [sexual] misconduct levelled against him… This led to the dismissal of the academic from the services of the university, to serve as a deterrent to others.”

The guilty-as-charged professor was dismissed “to serve as a deterrent to others.”

The need for strict safeguards

That’s one of the reasons I’m writing this post as well. If you realise the inherent danger in committing adultery, you will guard against it.

As David Boehi noted in an article on adultery published on Family Life website, “…All of us [should] realize the need to set up strict safeguards to ensure that we are faithful in our marriage commitment[s]. If I am convinced of what adultery would do to me and to my family, I will watch my wandering eyes, guard my thought life, and avoid any situations that could put me in harm’s way.”

Here is my final advice: Think twice before you commit adultery because it will cost you!


What’s your perspective on the consequences of adultery?

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Don’t Quit On Your Blog’s Mission

Don't quit on your blog

When I started this blog, it was clear in my mind that I had something in me I could share that would be a blessing to someone out there.

I did not claim to be an expert in anything but I knew without doubts that many people would benefit from reading my printed thoughts.

With that mindset, I began writing and publishing articles on the blog…

But I made the mistake of underestimating the negative backlashes that would come from starting the blog.

Initially, I felt really hurt by the unkind things some people said to me.

“There are too many blogs out there,” I was told. “Nobody will notice yours. You are just wasting your time.”

Someone opined that he was sure I would run out of ideas within three months of starting the blog.

Another person even said he wished the blog was dead already…

Such were some of the unkind things that were said to me when I started blogging.

The painful part was that these people that said those hurtful things were not people I wasn’t acquainted with.

Despite their negative criticisms, I refused to be discouraged. So instead of the blog dieing in three months as they predicted, it is still waxing stronger three years after.

The fact that you are reading this right now is an evidence that the blog has survived the negative onslaughts.

I have not arrived yet, but I have left! Looking back now, I have every course to smile…

In the midst of the harsh criticisms I received, there have also been many positive feedbacks.

These encouraging feedbacks I received coupled with the firm belief in my blogging mission has encouraged me to keep writing the blog.

And I don’t have any plan of giving up…

By not quitting, I have gained alot in terms of knowledge and wisdom. I have grown and I’m still growing.

I have sharpened my writing skills and learning new things. I have expanded my online network and networth.

I have touched a few lives with my posts. And I have been touched as well by posts from other people.

Now I look back on the blogging journey with a broad smile. And it promises to be better…

I have overcome the hurts that would have weighed me down. I have more positive energy now.

Just like me, you might be facing negative criticisms and other challenges with your blog. But you will rise above them…

One little advice I will give to you for free is this:

If you truly believe in your blog’s mission, please don’t quit on it!

 

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

4 Simple Benefits Of Having A Firm Belief In Your Blog’s Mission

Belief and blog mission

Why are you blogging? Is it simply to wile away time, or to make some impacts in the world?

Are you on a mission with your blog? How much do you believe in this mission? Do you even believe in it at all?

Hardly would you succeed at anything you do – including blogging – if you don’t believe in it.

In the world of blogging, you may have a few things going for you. There are also many odds that may be against you.

And except you have a firm belief in what you are doing, you would give up before you know it.

According to John Maxwell, “Only with a belief in yourself will you be able to reach your potential.” And having a belief in your mission will empower, encourage and enlarge you (paraphrased).

I believe that you can enjoy the same benefits – and more – if you would have confidence in what you are doing as a blogger.

With a belief in your blog’s mission you can achieve many benefits…

In this post, I will offer you four simple benefits you will enjoy if you have a firm belief in your blogging mission:

#1. You will be empowered

Having a firm belief in your blogging mission, will strengthen your ability to achieve the goals you have set for your blog.

Your first task is to specify your blog’s mission. Your second is to believe in it and then you have to run with it.

If you don’t believe in your blog’s mission, you will not be empowered to achieve it.

Lack of belief is one of the reasons people fail in life.

Similarly, many blogs have failed because their writers did not believe firmly in what they were doing. As a result they became incapacitated, felt hollow and gave up.

Empower yourself, show a firm belief in the reason you are blogging.

#2. You will be encouraged

In your blogging journey, you will face discouragement at some points. When that happens, quitting becomes a beckoning alternative.

But you don’t have to take that option, if you have a firm belief in your blog’s mission. You can overcome the challenges and achieve your goals…

You may not gain wide readership at the beginning. You will be negatively criticised to a breaking point.

Internet trolls will come after you in the comment section of your posts. You may even experience the so-called writer’s block…

And friends and family may not give you the kind of support you would expect.

If any of these things happen to you, the only thing that will encourage you not to take down the blog will be your firm belief in your blog’s mission.

Without that, you may have lost the battle before it got started. So my friend, be encouraged by believing strongly in your blog’s mission.

Your belief empowers you

#3. You will be enlarged

Having a firm belief in your blog’s mission has a way of enlarging you.

By that I don’t mean that your body mass will increase. But that it will enable you to accomplish more.

There are many possibilities that may never be unlocked to you if you are not in your mind fully committed to your blog’s mission.

Belief in your blog and explore the opportunities it brings. That’s one way you grow and enlarge.

Sooner or later, you would find yourself accomplishing things you once thought impossible.

#4. Your expectations will be deepened.

If your blog has a purpose you so much believe in, it will rub off on your expectations for the blog.

Don’t run a blog without a propose. It doesn’t make sense to do so.

For example, some people say they started their blog because they just wanted to write, not caring whether someone reads it or not. I am not like that and I hope you are not too.

I am not saying starting a blog as a writing outlet is not okay. I am saying you should expect to be be read as well.

If you belief you have something to offer on your blog, then it is normal to expect people to discover your blog, read it and give you feedback.

A good blog without readers is like a beautiful girl in the dark: no one knows she is there.

I cannot begin to explain here what you should expect in your blog. Let your heart and your blog mission guide you.

What I can assure you is that the more confidence you have in what you are doing, the more you are psychologically empowered and encouraged to continue doing it…

The more you grow and enlarge in the process, the more your expectations are deepened. And hopefully the more positive results you will achieve.


Having a belief in your blog’s mission will help you accomplish more. It will empower you, encourage you, enlarge you and even deepen your expectations.

In what other ways has your belief in your blog’s mission been of help to you?

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

On Truth And What You Believe

Belief and morality

One of the eternal words that Jesus ever uttered includes this one: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32).

Knowing the truth is the way to true freedom. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

But first, here is the question:

What is the truth?

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” John 14:6.

There goes another audacious claim of Jesus’:

  • He is the Way;
  • He is the Truth;
  • He is the Life.

With all these assertions, was Jesus just posturing or He is who He claims to be? I choose to believe the latter.

Therefore:

  • As Jesus is the Way, if you are following anyone other than Jesus alone, you are on the wrong path;
  • As Jesus is the Truth, if you have not believed Jesus as the full revelation of God’s truth to mankind, you have believed wrongly;
  • As Jesus is the Life, you will not have eternal life except you receive the life that only Jesus offers.

I know these are the kinds of statements that make some people mad. But Jesus did not offer any apologies when He made those audacious claims, neither would I.

a) Jesus is the Truth

First and foremost, truth is a person; Jesus is the Truth and He is unchanging…

So He can be trusted. You accept the truth to your eternal benefits and you reject it to your eternal peril.

There can be no meaningful “commitment to the authority of God” without a firm personal acceptance of Jesus Christ as the Truth.

b) The word of God is truth.

Jesus is the Word and the Word is truth, absolute truth. So the question of relative truth doesn’t apply…

All contemplations of truth must be hinged on God (through Jesus) and on His Word. You rise or fall to the truth you receive or reject.

That brings us to the question of morality.

The Standard for our morality

The word of God is truth. Therefore, more than anything else, the word of God must be the standard for our lives and the basis of our morality.

More than anything else, our morality should be based on what God thinks. Everything else is sinking sand…

But the choice is ours whether to base our morality on God’s thinking or not.

Our world today gives us three options for how to discover truth: We can choose to base our morality on what we think, on what other people think, or on what God thinks. We really have no other options. Our choice will dictate how we live, how we love, and, someday, how we die. But it’s our choice. What will you choose? – Rick Warren, in the devotional article, “You can know the truth by looking at God.”

The best foundation for our morality should be on God’s truth. Atheists may think otherwise, but I reckon that any question on morality cannot but have God in the picture.

Without God, the source of truth, there can be no a proper sense of right or wrong.

Any philosophy of life not backed by the word of God, irrespective of whoever might have propounded it, cannot be the truth.

The absolute truth as we should know it is the word of God only; whether in part or as a whole, the word of God is truth. I didn’t say so, Jesus did.

Jesus once prayed for His disciples, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17, emphasis mine).

Yes, the word of God is truth!

But there is a tragedy

Instead of choosing to knowing and living by the truth of God’s word, many people today have chosen to embrace some philosophies that are now destroying the moral fabric of the society.

Many people now believe what they want to believe. And feel they can live their lives how they want it, with or little considerations for the issues of morality.

Writing along that line in a recent devotional article, author of the best-seller The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren, reminds us that What You Believe Shapes Your Life.

As he puts it, “What you believe determines your behavior. Your behavior then determines what you become, and that has a direct effect on the direction of your life.”

So you see why the behaviour of the world is going haywire? They have rejected the truth, living a lie and heading in godless directions.

If you think godless thoughts, you will believe godless things and make godless choices!

Knowing Jesus and accepting God’s word as the truth will help shapen correctly what you believe and how you live.


©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne